First Therapy visit today!

[Guest guest]

Well, I took the plunge and on the recommendation of a friend went to a

counselor today.

He was - AMAZING. He was to the point, but gentle in his mannerisms, not pushy,

but quick to point out things that were crucial for me to know.

At the beginning of the session, I was recalling a recent event where my mom

dropped in unannounced then made a huge storm-out of my house when we announced

we had plans. After I finished talking he said - " Do you realize you just told

that whole story and you were smiling? You should have been ANGRY telling that,

your face should have been grimacing. That's part of what she took from you " .

I never realized it before, but I do have a hard time being angry with people

who hurt me. I will rant and rave about it to my husband or someone else but

never angry with the person who hurts.

Anyway, it wasn't a heavy session, but I did get some revelations about myself I

didn't notice. I felt SO MUCH LESS GUILT about the limited contact I have placed

with my mom. I was encouraged to get angry. I was encouraged to find a friend

with whom I felt safe being vulnerable so I could let myself cry (which I find

difficult to do). I was encouraged to let myself be vulnerable to my husband,

who loves me dearly.

Ok, well that sounds like a lot but I was very happy with it. I didn't feel

heavy at the time, but as I have processed through it, I think this is something

I really need and will help me be a better mom, wife, and person.

Thank you to everyone in this group, who by sharing your stories and your

journey to healing, have encouraged me to seek this out.

[Guest guest]

Awesome! Congrats on doing that for yourself. THats how my therapy has been

- not too heavy. Very doable and processable- a few bits of good info at a

time.

>

>

> Well, I took the plunge and on the recommendation of a friend went to a

> counselor today.

>

> He was - AMAZING. He was to the point, but gentle in his mannerisms, not

> pushy, but quick to point out things that were crucial for me to know.

>

> At the beginning of the session, I was recalling a recent event where my

> mom dropped in unannounced then made a huge storm-out of my house when we

> announced we had plans. After I finished talking he said - " Do you realize

> you just told that whole story and you were smiling? You should have been

> ANGRY telling that, your face should have been grimacing. That's part of

> what she took from you " .

>

> I never realized it before, but I do have a hard time being angry with

> people who hurt me. I will rant and rave about it to my husband or someone

> else but never angry with the person who hu.

>

> Anyway, it wasn't a heavy session, but I did get some revelations about

> myself I didn't notice. I felt SO MUCH LESS GUILT about the limited contact

> I have placed with my mom. I was encouraged to get angry. I was encouraged

> to find a friend with whom I felt safe being vulnerable so I could let

> myself cry (which I find difficult to do). I was encouraged to let myself be

> vulnerable to my husband, who loves me dearly.

>

> Ok, well that sounds like a lot but I was very happy with it. I didn't feel

> heavy at the time, but as I have processed through it, I think this is

> something I really need and will help me be a better mom, wife, and person.

>

> Thank you to everyone in this group, who by sharing your stories and your

> journey to healing, have encouraged me to seek this out.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Dear big sister,

Excellent! So glad you found this yahoo group! Please pat yourself on the back

for taking a step toward " caring for yourself " !

It seems to me that anyone with a NADA never had a chance to just be " cared for "

- nothing about " us " has ever come first which is WRONG. It's important to

realize how you dealt/currently deal with having been abused by your BPD MOM.

Everyone reacts in a different manner.

You deserve to be a mom to your own children and if you are anything like the

rest of the folks on this forumn, you are not about to mess your children up the

way your NADA might have messed you up. You deserve to do good thing for

yourself and your hubby/children. Additionally, you should remind yourself that

you deserve to have your " own " time that isn't invaded by your BPD family

member/NADA -

It's so good that you went to a conselor!

I am not being " negative " but I will just give you a word of warning - most

people in the mental health field have no real tools to deal with the wrath of a

BPD so please " tread lightly " and do not invest all of yourself into the person

conseling you. It is good to do for " yourself " - but please just take it slow

when it comes to getting the emotional support you/we Adult Children really

need!

Big congrats to you and keep up the good fight! You are worth every single

effort you make! You are GOOD even if your NADA says you are not! Remember you

are not alone, other folks have a nasty NADA and they need to hear from others

who share the stories of what a HELL LIFE the NADA creates! It's just nice to

support one another!

Best of luck!

You're AWESOME! You can DO IT!

Kind Regards,

A MOM with a Very, Very, Nasty NADA - (whom I love dearly )

>

> Well, I took the plunge and on the recommendation of a friend went to a

counselor today.

>

> He was - AMAZING. He was to the point, but gentle in his mannerisms, not

pushy, but quick to point out things that were crucial for me to know.

>

> At the beginning of the session, I was recalling a recent event where my mom

dropped in unannounced then made a huge storm-out of my house when we announced

we had plans. After I finished talking he said - " Do you realize you just told

that whole story and you were smiling? You should have been ANGRY telling that,

your face should have been grimacing. That's part of what she took from you " .

>

> I never realized it before, but I do have a hard time being angry with people

who hurt me. I will rant and rave about it to my husband or someone else but

never angry with the person who hurts.

>

> Anyway, it wasn't a heavy session, but I did get some revelations about myself

I didn't notice. I felt SO MUCH LESS GUILT about the limited contact I have

placed with my mom. I was encouraged to get angry. I was encouraged to find a

friend with whom I felt safe being vulnerable so I could let myself cry (which I

find difficult to do). I was encouraged to let myself be vulnerable to my

husband, who loves me dearly.

>

> Ok, well that sounds like a lot but I was very happy with it. I didn't feel

heavy at the time, but as I have processed through it, I think this is something

I really need and will help me be a better mom, wife, and person.

>

> Thank you to everyone in this group, who by sharing your stories and your

journey to healing, have encouraged me to seek this out.

>