Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Ha! I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the poor new victim. According to my brother, my mom has befriended a young single girl who also wants to go on mission to Guatamala like she does and is spending quite a bit of time with her. She is even staying over at my mom's place on the weekend and they are " BFF " . HA. My mom has done this before. When I'm the " bad child " she finds a replacement in hopes of making me jealous and come running back to her. It has worked once or twice but hasn't worked in a while. She even finds replacement grandchildren when she can. They all last for a little while until my mom smothers them and infiltrates their life and they suddenly don't answer the phone anymore.... I have to laugh. Because I really am not JEALOUS in the least of the poor schmuck who is submitting themselves to be emotionally violated until they finally wise up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Ahhhhhhhhh! Those are the BEST TIMES - aren't they!?! Freedom for you! I love it when Nada finds replacements.... gets me off the hook. Lynnette > > Ha! > > I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the poor new victim. > > According to my brother, my mom has befriended a young single girl who also wants to go on mission to Guatamala like she does and is spending quite a bit of time with her. She is even staying over at my mom's place on the weekend and they are " BFF " . HA. > > My mom has done this before. When I'm the " bad child " she finds a replacement in hopes of making me jealous and come running back to her. It has worked once or twice but hasn't worked in a while. She even finds replacement grandchildren when she can. > > They all last for a little while until my mom smothers them and infiltrates their life and they suddenly don't answer the phone anymore.... > > I have to laugh. Because I really am not JEALOUS in the least of the poor schmuck who is submitting themselves to be emotionally violated until they finally wise up. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 My nada has developed a tendency to do this with men, since dad died. She will befriend a homeless or n'eer-do-well kind of man (of any age) and will end up giving him money, in exchange for what appears to be attention and friendship. I think its sad. She actually believes that these men are interested in her romantically, or as a friend, not because she's an easy mark. Sister and I are aware of this, and Sister does what she can to protect nada's interests RE not getting sucked dry financially by some enterprising con artist. Sister and I would feel more secure about our nada's safety if nada would agree to move to an assisted living residence, where she'd have other real people around her (instead of the hallucinated ones) or the con artists to interact with, but nada is for whatever reason balking at the idea. Nada doesn't cook anymore, she just microwaves things; she's afraid of possibly setting fire to her apartment, and she is obviously lonely and does much better with other people around her, but, she's just being very stubborn. Sister found a very nice, well-run, clean, modern, assisted living residence community in the area nada currently lives in. The facility is set up so that there are individual houses with 4 or 5 bedrooms, with a live-in care-giver in each house to manage 3 or 4 residents. So each resident has her own bedroom and bathroom, but they share the kitchen, dining room and common areas. I believe each house has its own washer/dryer, also. There are planned community activities, classes, and day-trips, shopping excursions, a recreation building, and a small store within the community (that looks like a neighborhood); its all very nice. But nada wants to live on her own, in her apartment, with her hallucinated dead people for company, flirting with transient men. Its just sad. -Annie > > Ha! > > I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the poor new victim. > > According to my brother, my mom has befriended a young single girl who also wants to go on mission to Guatamala like she does and is spending quite a bit of time with her. She is even staying over at my mom's place on the weekend and they are " BFF " . HA. > > My mom has done this before. When I'm the " bad child " she finds a replacement in hopes of making me jealous and come running back to her. It has worked once or twice but hasn't worked in a while. She even finds replacement grandchildren when she can. > > They all last for a little while until my mom smothers them and infiltrates their life and they suddenly don't answer the phone anymore.... > > I have to laugh. Because I really am not JEALOUS in the least of the poor schmuck who is submitting themselves to be emotionally violated until they finally wise up. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 YES YES my nada did that all the time. When I was small she would " tutor " other people's kids, teach them piano etc and then turn and rage at me if I asked for the same thing from my own mother. Then when I went to college she took in a girl named Jo whose mother had died. The girl was about 2 years younger htan me. She gave her my room, all my clothes etc. Then she took in my ex best friend after that. Etc etc etc. Any one but me would do. She loved the reaction when I came home from college and there my mother was having a cup of tea or whaterver with my ex best friend who ditched me because I wasn't doing boys and drugs in the back seats of cars, I was home studying (true story). Then after " friend " left, nada wanted to come in my room and tell me all her gossip, how badly she was doing, she was on drugs, might be pregnant at 19 etc etc. I did not care!!!! What a 2 faced bitch!!!! No wonder I quit talking to her! On Mon, May 23, 2011 at 11:37 AM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > My nada has developed a tendency to do this with men, since dad died. She > will befriend a homeless or n'eer-do-well kind of man (of any age) and will > end up giving him money, in exchange for what appears to be attention and > friendship. I think its sad. She actually believes that these men are > interested in her romantically, or as a friend, not because she's an easy > mark. > > Sister and I are aware of this, and Sister does what she can to protect > nada's interests RE not getting sucked dry financially by some enterprising > con artist. > > Sister and I would feel more secure about our nada's safety if nada would > agree to move to an assisted living residence, where she'd have other real > people around her (instead of the hallucinated ones) or the con artists to > interact with, but nada is for whatever reason balking at the idea. > > Nada doesn't cook anymore, she just microwaves things; she's afraid of > possibly setting fire to her apartment, and she is obviously lonely and does > much better with other people around her, but, she's just being very > stubborn. > > Sister found a very nice, well-run, clean, modern, assisted living > residence community in the area nada currently lives in. The facility is set > up so that there are individual houses with 4 or 5 bedrooms, with a live-in > care-giver in each house to manage 3 or 4 residents. So each resident has > her own bedroom and bathroom, but they share the kitchen, dining room and > common areas. I believe each house has its own washer/dryer, also. > > There are planned community activities, classes, and day-trips, shopping > excursions, a recreation building, and a small store within the community > (that looks like a neighborhood); its all very nice. But nada wants to live > on her own, in her apartment, with her hallucinated dead people for company, > flirting with transient men. > > Its just sad. > > -Annie > > > > > > > Ha! > > > > I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the poor new victim. > > > > According to my brother, my mom has befriended a young single girl who > also wants to go on mission to Guatamala like she does and is spending quite > a bit of time with her. She is even staying over at my mom's place on the > weekend and they are " BFF " . HA. > > > > My mom has done this before. When I'm the " bad child " she finds a > replacement in hopes of making me jealous and come running back to her. It > has worked once or twice but hasn't worked in a while. She even finds > replacement grandchildren when she can. > > > > They all last for a little while until my mom smothers them and > infiltrates their life and they suddenly don't answer the phone anymore.... > > > > I have to laugh. Because I really am not JEALOUS in the least of the poor > schmuck who is submitting themselves to be emotionally violated until they > finally wise up. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 She even finds replacement grandchildren when she can. > Ha! My mother has done that, too. She's almost obsessed with these kids whose grandmother owns a restaurant my parents go to multiple times a week. She takes their pictures and everything and tries to show them around. Creeeeppppyy.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 Pahaha! Every time my mother does something so nuts I think I must be the only one with such a crazy parent, I come here and find out I'm not alone. My nada does this all the time. She " adopts " women in their early 20s, usually women with poor support systems who don't know any better than to trust someone and be grateful that anyone is showing interest in their lives. She spends heaps of money on them, sometimes takes them on trips, and gives them all kinds of " life advice. " Sooner or later, they do something to either make Nada feel she's not worshiped as the goddess she is, or she gets tired of them and drops them. Annoyingly, she sometimes tries to pressure me into being friends with these women. Her current beneficiary is a young woman with two very small children, whom my mother uses to satisfy her craving for grandchildren, unfulfilled by me. It's like she doesn't know how to be my mother unless I'm letting her run my life, so rather than have a relationship with a functional, independent adult daughter, she finds women who are happy to relinquish some control because they don't realize they're being used. > > Ha! > > I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the poor new victim. > > According to my brother, my mom has befriended a young single girl who also wants to go on mission to Guatamala like she does and is spending quite a bit of time with her. She is even staying over at my mom's place on the weekend and they are " BFF " . HA. > > My mom has done this before. When I'm the " bad child " she finds a replacement in hopes of making me jealous and come running back to her. It has worked once or twice but hasn't worked in a while. She even finds replacement grandchildren when she can. > > They all last for a little while until my mom smothers them and infiltrates their life and they suddenly don't answer the phone anymore.... > > I have to laugh. Because I really am not JEALOUS in the least of the poor schmuck who is submitting themselves to be emotionally violated until they finally wise up. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 This is one of the very very creepiest nada things, in my opinion. One of these days I will make a top ten list. > > > > Pahaha! Every time my mother does something so nuts I think I must be the > only one with such a crazy parent, I come here and find out I'm not alone. > My nada does this all the time. She " adopts " women in their early 20s, > usually women with poor support systems who don't know any better than to > trust someone and be grateful that anyone is showing interest in their > lives. She spends heaps of money on them, sometimes takes them on trips, and > gives them all kinds of " life advice. " > > Sooner or later, they do something to either make Nada feel she's not > worshiped as the goddess she is, or she gets tired of them and drops them. > Annoyingly, she sometimes tries to pressure me into being friends with these > women. Her current beneficiary is a young woman with two very small > children, whom my mother uses to satisfy her craving for grandchildren, > unfulfilled by me. > > It's like she doesn't know how to be my mother unless I'm letting her run > my life, so rather than have a relationship with a functional, independent > adult daughter, she finds women who are happy to relinquish some control > because they don't realize they're being used. > > > > > > > Ha! > > > > I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the poor new victim. > > > > According to my brother, my mom has befriended a young single girl who > also wants to go on mission to Guatamala like she does and is spending quite > a bit of time with her. She is even staying over at my mom's place on the > weekend and they are " BFF " . HA. > > > > My mom has done this before. When I'm the " bad child " she finds a > replacement in hopes of making me jealous and come running back to her. It > has worked once or twice but hasn't worked in a while. She even finds > replacement grandchildren when she can. > > > > They all last for a little while until my mom smothers them and > infiltrates their life and they suddenly don't answer the phone anymore.... > > > > I have to laugh. Because I really am not JEALOUS in the least of the poor > schmuck who is submitting themselves to be emotionally violated until they > finally wise up. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 23, 2011 Report Share Posted May 23, 2011 My mom does something similar . . . she always befriends some young woman who is so much more deserving her attention than her own daughters. As nada becomes more clingy and inappropriately attached, the young victim finally figures out there is something weird about her new bf. I forgot about this trait-since my nada retired she has less opportunity for these weird pseudo relationships. However, last time she adopted her new neighbors, a young family. They moved to get away from her about a year later. > > Ha! > > I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the poor new victim. > > According to my brother, my mom has befriended a young single girl who also wants to go on mission to Guatamala like she does and is spending quite a bit of time with her. She is even staying over at my mom's place on the weekend and they are " BFF " . HA. > > My mom has done this before. When I'm the " bad child " she finds a replacement in hopes of making me jealous and come running back to her. It has worked once or twice but hasn't worked in a while. She even finds replacement grandchildren when she can. > > They all last for a little while until my mom smothers them and infiltrates their life and they suddenly don't answer the phone anymore.... > > I have to laugh. Because I really am not JEALOUS in the least of the poor schmuck who is submitting themselves to be emotionally violated until they finally wise up. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 that's so funny...and so great!! my mother found a new phone buddy replacement. It's awesome. I'm waiting, as you said, for this person to blow her off at some point. My mother will tell me that if her new buddy doesn't answer the phone right away she figures she (the new bff) is mad at her and then my mother kind of gives her the cold shoulder. This woman is going to get sick of these stupid mind games fast. We'll see! Hopefully, your mother's new friend will stick around a nice, long time! > > Ha! > > I'm not sure whether to laugh or feel sorry for the poor new victim. > > According to my brother, my mom has befriended a young single girl who also wants to go on mission to Guatamala like she does and is spending quite a bit of time with her. She is even staying over at my mom's place on the weekend and they are " BFF " . HA. > > My mom has done this before. When I'm the " bad child " she finds a replacement in hopes of making me jealous and come running back to her. It has worked once or twice but hasn't worked in a while. She even finds replacement grandchildren when she can. > > They all last for a little while until my mom smothers them and infiltrates their life and they suddenly don't answer the phone anymore.... > > I have to laugh. Because I really am not JEALOUS in the least of the poor schmuck who is submitting themselves to be emotionally violated until they finally wise up. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Several years ago, my nada befriended a young woman who moved in next door to her. Now, my nada was only 60 years old at the time, and in reasonably good health, but she convinced herself, and apparently the new neighbor that she was an elderly invalid who could barely take care of herself. Nada conned this girl into doing all sorts of chores for her - housework, laundry, yardwork, running errands, you name it. Every time I talked to nada, she couldn't get enough of singing this girl's praises. She even told me one time, " I thank God for " S " . I just don't know what I would do without her. " I thought to myself, I know what you would do, you'd have to do things for YOURSELF! Oh, the injustice of it all! What I wasn't aware of (until much later) was that nada was busy running me and my brother down behind our backs. Yes, " S " could do no wrong. Nada trusted her so much, that she gave " S " a key to her house! Did I mention that nada's wonderful new neighbor was also an unemployed METH ADDICT with 2 illegitimate kids? " S " would steal things from nada - lawn equipment, tools, jewelry, etc. and then pawn them for $ to buy meth. Sometimes, she would just get lazy and ask nada to *loan* her some $ to get her through until the next welfare check. Of course she had no intentions of ever paying it back. My brother and I saw right through her game, but whenever we tried to talk to nada about it, she would fiercely defend her *friend*, and criticize us saying that her neighbor cared more about her than her own kids and that we never did anything for her (which of course was a total lie). Nada even accused US of stealing her stuff! Then, nada fell one day and broke her kneecap. My brother and I (the ungrateful kids who never did anything for their mother) took shifts taking care of her day and night. We cleaned her house, made her meals, took her to doctor's appointments, etc. BTW, nada's wonderful neighbor was nowhere to be found during this time. We found out from another neighbor that she left her kids with a friend and went on a week-long drug binge with one of her many loser boyfriends. Try as we might, we could never get nada to admit to the truth that " S " had been using her. The irony was that they were both using each other in a sick, twisted, co-dependent way. It was, as my brother so eloquently put it, " a match made in hell " . Eventually, " S " grew tired of nada's constant demands. I guess even addicts have their breaking point! That *easy money* got to be too much work for her! " S " started becoming more and more unavailable, and telling nada *no*. Then, in true BPD fashion, nada turned on her. (Yep, saw that one coming!) Nada had NOTHING good to say about her after that. I'd like to say that I felt sorry for " S " , but I'd be lying. Thank goodness she finally moved away before she could drain nada dry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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