Nada gets her jollies from my parenting struggles

[Guest guest]

I wanted to share two pet peeves.

I hate it when I say something in passing about my toddler throwing a fit/being

cranky/whatever and my mother makes some condescending/smug comment about

knowing how difficult it can be or some kind of comment to the effect of " well,

now maybe you can understand why I was such a terrible mother. " Like even in my

worst moments I am anything like that nightmare of an incubator! I've wisened up

and I don't intentionally mention any difficulties we have with our child, but

sometimes she can overhear us on the phone or comments on my facebook posts.

When she does that, I've started removing the post, comments and all - and one

of these days I'll get around to setting up a group without her in it for those

posts.

The second is when she tries to complement me on my parenting. I mean, gee

thanks, it means so much coming from YOU [insert voice dripping with sarcasm

here]...but what also bugs me is the subtext, " Well, I couldn't be as bad as you

think I was or YOU wouldn't be such a decent parent. " I've just started saying

something like, " Thanks. I work really hard. "

Well, I wish I could say I feel better for sharing, but I don't. But thanks for

reading.

[Guest guest]

Spooky! She is feeding on your frustrations. This is a big reason I do not tell

my nada anything anymore--she uses the information to either laugh at me or

twists the info when she repeats it to others. And I agree about Facebook--mine

watches our walls like a hawk, looking for any slight that might be directed

towards her or some salacious gossip.

>

> I wanted to share two pet peeves.

>

> I hate it when I say something in passing about my toddler throwing a

fit/being cranky/whatever and my mother makes some condescending/smug comment

about knowing how difficult it can be or some kind of comment to the effect of

" well, now maybe you can understand why I was such a terrible mother. " Like even

in my worst moments I am anything like that nightmare of an incubator! I've

wisened up and I don't intentionally mention any difficulties we have with our

child, but sometimes she can overhear us on the phone or comments on my facebook

posts. When she does that, I've started removing the post, comments and all -

and one of these days I'll get around to setting up a group without her in it

for those posts.

>

> The second is when she tries to complement me on my parenting. I mean, gee

thanks, it means so much coming from YOU [insert voice dripping with sarcasm

here]...but what also bugs me is the subtext, " Well, I couldn't be as bad as you

think I was or YOU wouldn't be such a decent parent. " I've just started saying

something like, " Thanks. I work really hard. "

>

> Well, I wish I could say I feel better for sharing, but I don't. But thanks

for reading.

>

[Guest guest]

Yup, my nada is the same way. I realized back in college that you can't tell her

anything negative about anyone - even your own kids! Because she uses it against

you later.

It makes it hard to keep any sort of relationship...I tried keeping it to just

about the grandbabies...but I have had some of the same experiences as you with

" Well if you're a good mom, then I must have been a good mom " . Like she's a role

model. Gag me, please.

You know you can hide your posts from specific people on FB? She doesn't even

have to know that you're posting anything. It will look like you simply aren't

that active on FB anymore....highly recommended

> >

> > I wanted to share two pet peeves.

> >

> > I hate it when I say something in passing about my toddler throwing a

fit/being cranky/whatever and my mother makes some condescending/smug comment

about knowing how difficult it can be or some kind of comment to the effect of

" well, now maybe you can understand why I was such a terrible mother. " Like even

in my worst moments I am anything like that nightmare of an incubator! I've

wisened up and I don't intentionally mention any difficulties we have with our

child, but sometimes she can overhear us on the phone or comments on my facebook

posts. When she does that, I've started removing the post, comments and all -

and one of these days I'll get around to setting up a group without her in it

for those posts.

> >

> > The second is when she tries to complement me on my parenting. I mean, gee

thanks, it means so much coming from YOU [insert voice dripping with sarcasm

here]...but what also bugs me is the subtext, " Well, I couldn't be as bad as you

think I was or YOU wouldn't be such a decent parent. " I've just started saying

something like, " Thanks. I work really hard. "

> >

> > Well, I wish I could say I feel better for sharing, but I don't. But thanks

for reading.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

My mother will take what I say/do and repeat it to ALL her friends/coworkers,

tell me their " advice " that I didn't ask for and make comments on how

scary/unsafe/wrong my parenting is.

> >

> > I wanted to share two pet peeves.

> >

> > I hate it when I say something in passing about my toddler throwing a

fit/being cranky/whatever and my mother makes some condescending/smug comment

about knowing how difficult it can be or some kind of comment to the effect of

" well, now maybe you can understand why I was such a terrible mother. " Like even

in my worst moments I am anything like that nightmare of an incubator! I've

wisened up and I don't intentionally mention any difficulties we have with our

child, but sometimes she can overhear us on the phone or comments on my facebook

posts. When she does that, I've started removing the post, comments and all -

and one of these days I'll get around to setting up a group without her in it

for those posts.

> >

> > The second is when she tries to complement me on my parenting. I mean, gee

thanks, it means so much coming from YOU [insert voice dripping with sarcasm

here]...but what also bugs me is the subtext, " Well, I couldn't be as bad as you

think I was or YOU wouldn't be such a decent parent. " I've just started saying

something like, " Thanks. I work really hard. "

> >

> > Well, I wish I could say I feel better for sharing, but I don't. But thanks

for reading.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

how do you hide posts from one specific person? I would like to do this with

Waif Boss. She watches my facebook wall and then makes innane comments about

it in an attempt to engage me in a more personal way than I am comfortable

with.

>

>

> My mother will take what I say/do and repeat it to ALL her

> friends/coworkers, tell me their " advice " that I didn't ask for and make

> comments on how scary/unsafe/wrong my parenting is.

>

>

>

> > >

> > > I wanted to share two pet peeves.

> > >

> > > I hate it when I say something in passing about my toddler throwing a

> fit/being cranky/whatever and my mother makes some condescending/smug

> comment about knowing how difficult it can be or some kind of comment to the

> effect of " well, now maybe you can understand why I was such a terrible

> mother. " Like even in my worst moments I am anything like that nightmare of

> an incubator! I've wisened up and I don't intentionally mention any

> difficulties we have with our child, but sometimes she can overhear us on

> the phone or comments on my facebook posts. When she does that, I've started

> removing the post, comments and all - and one of these days I'll get around

> to setting up a group without her in it for those posts.

> > >

> > > The second is when she tries to complement me on my parenting. I mean,

> gee thanks, it means so much coming from YOU [insert voice dripping with

> sarcasm here]...but what also bugs me is the subtext, " Well, I couldn't be

> as bad as you think I was or YOU wouldn't be such a decent parent. " I've

> just started saying something like, " Thanks. I work really hard. "

> > >

> > > Well, I wish I could say I feel better for sharing, but I don't. But

> thanks for reading.

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

FB has a " block " function that allows you to block selected " friends " from

seeing any of your posts. The person that you block will not be notified of your

actions. It is totally invisible to them. Go to the " help " function in FB and

type in *blocking*. It will walk you through the process. I highly recommend it

to all KO's.

>

> how do you hide posts from one specific person? I would like to do this with

> Waif Boss. She watches my facebook wall and then makes innane comments about

> it in an attempt to engage me in a more personal way than I am comfortable

> with.

>

[Guest guest]

The Block function will make it like you are not even on FB anymore. The other

person will not be able to search for you or see that you have a page. You will

also not be able to see them. However, it will not hide interactions you both

have with 3rd party apps (like games) or mutual friends.

https://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=12253 & tq

If you are going to block someone and want to commmunciate with a mutual friend,

I recommend sending a private message rather than writing a comment on their

photo or wall.

If for some reason you want to keep the virtual connection with someone but just

keep them from seeing your posts or photos, you can adjust your Privacy

Settings. Go to " Privacy Settings " in the top right drop down menu on your home

page. Then click on " Customise Settings " at the bottom. From there, you can

click on " Customise " in the drop down menu for each individual type of item and

type in the " friend " 's name under " Hide This From. " If you only want to hide

one specific post, there is now a drop down menu with the same options under the

input box (looks like a lock).

> >

> > how do you hide posts from one specific person? I would like to do this with

> > Waif Boss. She watches my facebook wall and then makes innane comments about

> > it in an attempt to engage me in a more personal way than I am comfortable

> > with.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you - I did the profile update hidey-poo from waif boss. i bet she

never notices. i left her access to enough that she will see i am there, but

she will never see my updates or photos. HA no more - oooh I saw you blah

blah blahed as a desparate attempt to make a deeper more personal connection

with me.

Like He MAN, I HAVE THE POWER!!!!!

>

>

> The Block function will make it like you are not even on FB anymore. The

> other person will not be able to search for you or see that you have a page.

> You will also not be able to see them. However, it will not hide

> interactions you both have with 3rd party apps (like games) or mutual

> friends. https://www.facebook.com/help/?faq=12253 & tq

> If you are going to block someone and want to commmunciate with a mutual

> friend, I recommend sending a private message rather than writing a comment

> on their photo or wall.

>

> If for some reason you want to keep the virtual connection with someone but

> just keep them from seeing your posts or photos, you can adjust your Privacy

> Settings. Go to " Privacy Settings " in the top right drop down menu on your

> home page. Then click on " Customise Settings " at the bottom. From there, you

> can click on " Customise " in the drop down menu for each individual type of

> item and type in the " friend " 's name under " Hide This From. " If you only

> want to hide one specific post, there is now a drop down menu with the same

> options under the input box (looks like a lock).

>

>

> > >

> > > how do you hide posts from one specific person? I would like to do this

> with

> > > Waif Boss. She watches my facebook wall and then makes innane comments

> about

> > > it in an attempt to engage me in a more personal way than I am

> comfortable

> > > with.

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In privacy settings you can set your posts to only go out (or not go out)to

specific people's news feeds. But they can still come to your wall and read your

posts.

Also, if you comment on a post where that person has a wide-open wall, that post

will show up on Your wall, too. I found that out after commenting on a video

about men with tiny penises--the damning video picture and my snarky comment was

flagrantly gracing my wall--Mr. Tiny in all his non-glory.

>

> how do you hide posts from one specific person? I would like to do this with

> Waif Boss. She watches my facebook wall and then makes innane comments

[Guest guest]

Ha- Oh I know she visits my wall and catches up about every 2 or 3 weeks.

UGH.

>

>

> In privacy settings you can set your posts to only go out (or not go out)to

> specific people's news feeds. But they can still come to your wall and read

> your posts.

>

> Also, if you comment on a post where that person has a wide-open wall, that

> post will show up on Your wall, too. I found that out after commenting on a

> video about men with tiny penises--the damning video picture and my snarky

> comment was flagrantly gracing my wall--Mr. Tiny in all his non-glory.

>

>

>

> >

> > how do you hide posts from one specific person? I would like to do this

> with

> > Waif Boss. She watches my facebook wall and then makes innane comments

>

>

>