Guest guest Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 Hello All! I noticed that a lot of you are very protective of your kids when it comes to nada. I think it's wonderful that you are determined to keep her stink off your kids! Bravo! (I am not yet a parent, and can see from your posts how scary it would feel to have nada around my kids!) But I wanted to suggest something... Why wait for nada to aim her crazy at your kids to do something about it? Aren't you just as special and isn't your own happiness just as important as theirs? I think we all deserve to be protected the way we protect our own kids... after all, weren't we forced to be our own parents already?? Much love to you, fellow kids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 24, 2011 Report Share Posted May 24, 2011 > But I wanted to suggest something... Why wait for nada to aim her crazy at your kids to do something about it? Aren't you just as special and isn't your own happiness just as important as theirs? I think we all deserve to be protected the way we protect our own kids... after all, weren't we forced to be our own parents already?? > Yes, you're right. I think it's great that you've been able to recognize this before you have children. Some of us had our kids before we realized we even had a right to say no to our nadas, though. Sometimes we don't realize how bad the problem is until we see it happening to the little people we love the most. While we may think we're tough enough to handle it as adults, we know our innocent and defenseless children are not. Sometimes they help us to wake up to what is going on, too. But regardless of which comes first, the protecting of our children or the protecting of ourselves, you make a great point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 I wholeheartedly agree. When nada was a jerk to me, I just kind of numbed/zoned out. But when I saw her being a jerk to my kids, this pure, unadulterated rage just burst through my pores. I finally knew what fury felt like! I've been NC for 4 years. > > But I wanted to suggest something... Why wait for nada to aim her crazy at your kids to do something about it? Aren't you just as special and isn't your own happiness just as important as theirs? I think we all deserve to be protected the way we protect our own kids... after all, weren't we forced to be our own parents already?? > > > > Yes, you're right. I think it's great that you've been able to recognize this before you have children. Some of us had our kids before we realized we even had a right to say no to our nadas, though. Sometimes we don't realize how bad the problem is until we see it happening to the little people we love the most. While we may think we're tough enough to handle it as adults, we know our innocent and defenseless children are not. Sometimes they help us to wake up to what is going on, too. But regardless of which comes first, the protecting of our children or the protecting of ourselves, you make a great point. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 You've described the dynamic of how a small, dependent child reacts to abuse from her own parent, in a nutshell! Its an automatic, unconscious survival mechanism for a small child to just become completely passive (to become numb, i.e., " go away " mentally through dissociation) when their own mother or father is abusive to them. Instinct kicks in, saving us when protesting or standing up to the abuser would make them react even worse, even life-threateningly worse, so it was in our own best interests as tiny children to just go limp until the terrifying, very real danger passed. Some of us carry this primitive, unconscious form of self-protection into adulthood, where it actually can be counterproductive. So, kudos to you for not letting yourself revert to a primitive/ infantile passive state when your nada becomes abusive, and kudos to you for protecting your own children from her mistreatment! That rocks that your " Mother Bear " instinct kicked in instead! -Annie > > > But I wanted to suggest something... Why wait for nada to aim her crazy at your kids to do something about it? Aren't you just as special and isn't your own happiness just as important as theirs? I think we all deserve to be protected the way we protect our own kids... after all, weren't we forced to be our own parents already?? > > > > > > > Yes, you're right. I think it's great that you've been able to recognize this before you have children. Some of us had our kids before we realized we even had a right to say no to our nadas, though. Sometimes we don't realize how bad the problem is until we see it happening to the little people we love the most. While we may think we're tough enough to handle it as adults, we know our innocent and defenseless children are not. Sometimes they help us to wake up to what is going on, too. But regardless of which comes first, the protecting of our children or the protecting of ourselves, you make a great point. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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