Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Before I start, I just wanted to let ya all know that what I am going to say will probably sound stupid, petty and self centered, but I felt the need to vent. Sunday, an EF5 tornado went through Joplin, MO, killing at least 122 people and destroying many, many homes and businesses. Several people I work with lost pretty much everything they own. I live about 40 miles to the north of Joplin, so I wasn't affected. Ok, here's where I get stupid, petty, and self centered, considering the loss of life and the massive descruction. It's been 3 days, and I have not received a call or an email or anything from my dad asking if my daughter and I are alright. If the tornado had happened close to them, and I didn't call to check on them, I would be a horrible person for not doing so. But, because it's me, and I did such a horrible thing by letting them know what my feelings about some things were, I guess I am not worth their time anymore. Ok...thanks for listening to me vent! Janet Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. Proverbs 3:5-8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Janet, I am so sorry for you. It sounds crazy to me that your parents wouldn't check up on you during such a tragic time. I was appalled at the destruction that happend down there. When you wrote that you had to pay the price for telling them how you felt about some previous events, I can tell you this feels incredibly familiar. My BP Mom can go from being overwhelmingly present in my life to no news for weeks. And that's when things are normal. It seems to me that it's all about how she feels and what she needs. I don't know how you protect yourself from that. I think there's a gradual detachment that occurs, you just expect less. For non BP people, I think in this context, you would expect people to get over the feelings, be the " bigger man " and call to check if everything's ok. For someone with BP, it could that it is more of a struggle to get over one's feelings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 I don't think that's petty at all. It hurts really badly to realize that your parents are too mentally ill/self-centered/punitive to care about you or your child's safety or well-being after a major natural disaster like that. It hurts a lot. I'm so sorry; its unfair that we got saddled with mentally ill parents. The mistreatment they dish out or the lack of caring they evidence is completely undeserved and unfair. All we can do, in my opinion, is go forward and choose to bring happy, loving, mentally healthy people into our lives to share ourselves with, to give to and be given to in a equitable, healthy way. -Annie > > Before I start, I just wanted to let ya all know that what I am going to say will probably sound stupid, petty and self centered, but I felt the need to vent. Sunday, an EF5 tornado went through Joplin, MO, killing at least 122 people and destroying many, many homes and businesses. Several people I work with lost pretty much everything they own. I live about 40 miles to the north of Joplin, so I wasn't affected. Ok, here's where I get stupid, petty, and self centered, considering the loss of life and the massive descruction. It's been 3 days, and I have not received a call or an email or anything from my dad asking if my daughter and I are alright. If the tornado had happened close to them, and I didn't call to check on them, I would be a horrible person for not doing so. But, because it's me, and I did such a horrible thing by letting them know what my feelings about some things were, I guess I am not worth their time anymore. > Ok...thanks for listening to me vent! > Janet > Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. > In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. > Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. > It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. > Proverbs 3:5-8 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Janet, I don't think that wanting your family to be concerned about your well-being is self-centered, stupid or petty. That tornado did tremendous harm and a lot of people died. Even though you live forty miles away, if you work with people in its path it is clear that you could easily have been visiting one of them at the time or otherwise doing something in the affected area. People you care about could have been involved. Checking to see if everything is okay with you would be a normal thing for your family to do. Of course you want your dad to act like he cares about you and your daughter. Having it made clear that he doesn't care hurts. At 10:46 AM 05/25/2011 Janet wrote: >Before I start, I just wanted to let ya all know that what I am >going to say will probably sound stupid, petty and self >centered, but I felt the need to vent. Sunday, an EF5 tornado >went through Joplin, MO, killing at least 122 people and >destroying many, many homes and businesses. Several people I >work with lost pretty much everything they own. I live about >40 miles to the north of Joplin, so I wasn't affected. Ok, >here's where I get stupid, petty, and self centered, >considering the loss of life and the massive descruction. It's >been 3 days, and I have not received a call or an email or >anything from my dad asking if my daughter and I are >alright. If the tornado had happened close to them, and I >didn't call to check on them, I would be a horrible person for >not doing so. But, because it's me, and I did such a horrible >thing by letting them know what my feelings about some things >were, I guess I am not worth their time anymore. > Ok...thanks for listening to me vent! >Janet > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 You are not horrible at all or petty. I don't know what you said to the parents but I suppose you were being honest and sharing your feelings. We should all have that privilege/right to be who we are, to be different from our parents. And I understand the feeling of rejection that their own daily errands or TV shows, whatever, seem to take priority over the well being of their own family. That makes no sense. After seeing the destruction from the tornado, I can say I'm thankful you are safe, that your daughter is safe. The two of you are alive to make happy memories together. > , considering the loss of life and the massive descruction. It's been 3 days, and I have not received a call or an email or anything from my dad asking if my daughter and I are alright. If the tornado had happened close to them, and I didn't call to check on them, I would be a horrible person for not doing so. But, because it's me, and I did such a horrible thing by letting them know what my feelings about some things were, I guess I am not worth their time anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 See, I don't think that's stupid or petty or self-centered. Actually, I do...it's self-centered of your father to not care enough to ask how you are. So sorry to hear it. My father was like that: agree with me or we part. I'm glad you're ok. > > Before I start, I just wanted to let ya all know that what I am going to say will probably sound stupid, petty and self centered, but I felt the need to vent. Sunday, an EF5 tornado went through Joplin, MO, killing at least 122 people and destroying many, many homes and businesses. Several people I work with lost pretty much everything they own. I live about 40 miles to the north of Joplin, so I wasn't affected. Ok, here's where I get stupid, petty, and self centered, considering the loss of life and the massive descruction. It's been 3 days, and I have not received a call or an email or anything from my dad asking if my daughter and I are alright. If the tornado had happened close to them, and I didn't call to check on them, I would be a horrible person for not doing so. But, because it's me, and I did such a horrible thing by letting them know what my feelings about some things were, I guess I am not worth their time anymore. > Ok...thanks for listening to me vent! > Janet > Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. > In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. > Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. > It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. > Proverbs 3:5-8 > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 25, 2011 Report Share Posted May 25, 2011 Janet, So glad you are okay. Also...can relate. We got hit with tornadoes (in a state that doesn't normally get tornadoes) about a month ago. My family and I live about 15 miles from the hardest hit places. I was home alone with my 3 kids, hiding in a closet under the stairs for what seemed like forever. Thankfully, we got away scott-free. I talked to nada later that day...I even mentioned the tornadoes. Not a word of sympathy, support, or even a " oh my goodness, so glad everything is okay! " . I was actually quite surprised. Normally, she would have called 15,000 times to check on us until she got in touch with us. You never know which nada you'll get. Anyways, once again, glad you and your family are safe. Judy > > > > Before I start, I just wanted to let ya all know that what I am going to say will probably sound stupid, petty and self centered, but I felt the need to vent. Sunday, an EF5 tornado went through Joplin, MO, killing at least 122 people and destroying many, many homes and businesses. Several people I work with lost pretty much everything they own. I live about 40 miles to the north of Joplin, so I wasn't affected. Ok, here's where I get stupid, petty, and self centered, considering the loss of life and the massive descruction. It's been 3 days, and I have not received a call or an email or anything from my dad asking if my daughter and I are alright. If the tornado had happened close to them, and I didn't call to check on them, I would be a horrible person for not doing so. But, because it's me, and I did such a horrible thing by letting them know what my feelings about some things were, I guess I am not worth their time anymore. > > Ok...thanks for listening to me vent! > > Janet > > Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. > > In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. > > Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. > > It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. > > Proverbs 3:5-8 > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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