My bitchy topic - religion

[Guest guest]

We all have buttons--one of mine is religion. Even though I have on occasion

used bible quotes myself to make a point, I feel completely dissed by that

ultimate authority figure.

I feel like I have nothing in common with those who have religion as their

foundation. I find it very difficult to not dismiss those people. I suppose I am

really just mad at a god I simply can't believe exists, or exists in such a way

that it is unaware/incapably of affecting our daily lives. I am trying to do

better on this.

It would probably help if we didn't often run into people in life that believe

THEY know all the answers and try to stuff their religion down everyone else's

throats.

I have grown up a KO a BPD: I have had another person's 'reality' stuffed down

my throat my whole life, while dishrag dad seconded every one of nada's

opinions. This is gaslighting. I see the coercion to accept religion as another

form of gaslighting.

I love all of you here, I really do. I want us all to share our BPD stories and

our triumphs over the patterns we were raised with. But I really am not hear to

talk about a god and share bible quotes. I am sorry if that makes me sound like

a bitch--I am sure I probably am.

[Guest guest]

" Compassionate detachment " comes to mind.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, May 25, 2011 3:51 PM

Subject: My bitchy topic - religion

 

We all have buttons--one of mine is religion. Even though I have on occasion

used bible quotes myself to make a point, I feel completely dissed by that

ultimate authority figure.

I feel like I have nothing in common with those who have religion as their

foundation. I find it very difficult to not dismiss those people. I suppose I am

really just mad at a god I simply can't believe exists, or exists in such a way

that it is unaware/incapably of affecting our daily lives. I am trying to do

better on this.

It would probably help if we didn't often run into people in life that believe

THEY know all the answers and try to stuff their religion down everyone else's

throats.

I have grown up a KO a BPD: I have had another person's 'reality' stuffed down

my throat my whole life, while dishrag dad seconded every one of nada's

opinions. This is gaslighting. I see the coercion to accept religion as another

form of gaslighting.

I love all of you here, I really do. I want us all to share our BPD stories and

our triumphs over the patterns we were raised with. But I really am not hear to

talk about a god and share bible quotes. I am sorry if that makes me sound like

a bitch--I am sure I probably am.

[Guest guest]

The way I look at it is, if someone wants to share here some technique or

therapy or book or philosophy or religious precept that helped him or her handle

their personality-disordered parents in an effective but non-abusive way, then,

I'd like to hear it.

Where I draw the line is being told, " This is the only way " or " this is the best

way " or " this is the right way " .

I feel that each of us has to discover what's going to work for us, as

individuals. We each have a unique background and each of our nadas (or pd

family) has their own set of behaviors, and we each have our own individual

traumas to deal with. Only we know what we can and can't tolerate, and what we

need to do in order to protect ourselves and yet be able to live with ourselves

and to heal from our emotional injuries.

So, I don't expect that what works for me will automatically work for everyone.

And I don't think its right for me to judge another person who chooses to handle

their pd parent situation differently than I do.

....Although I admit that my weak spot is reading about exposing children to

abuse; I'll try to convince a member to please protect their child from an

abusive parent or grandparent or relative, etc.

So, anyway, that's my take on it.

-Annie

>

> We all have buttons--one of mine is religion. Even though I have on occasion

used bible quotes myself to make a point, I feel completely dissed by that

ultimate authority figure.

>

> I feel like I have nothing in common with those who have religion as their

foundation. I find it very difficult to not dismiss those people. I suppose I am

really just mad at a god I simply can't believe exists, or exists in such a way

that it is unaware/incapably of affecting our daily lives. I am trying to do

better on this.

>

> It would probably help if we didn't often run into people in life that believe

THEY know all the answers and try to stuff their religion down everyone else's

throats.

>

> I have grown up a KO a BPD: I have had another person's 'reality' stuffed down

my throat my whole life, while dishrag dad seconded every one of nada's

opinions. This is gaslighting. I see the coercion to accept religion as another

form of gaslighting.

>

> I love all of you here, I really do. I want us all to share our BPD stories

and our triumphs over the patterns we were raised with. But I really am not hear

to talk about a god and share bible quotes. I am sorry if that makes me sound

like a bitch--I am sure I probably am.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm inclined to agree with you, Annie--I'm open to what has helped others

heal, so long as they don't say, " This is the only/best/right way, " because

that's the way my fada operated--black and white.

(I'm guessing that most other fadas/nadas are the same with the black/white

thinking. Maybe I'm too scrupulous about issuing absolutes..haha.)

I do appreciate the links that sometimes get shared about recovering from

spiritual abuse--it has helped me. But in-depth discussions about the nitty

gritty in the Bible or the Qu'ran or whatever...I think that is something

best reserved for off-list discussions or even on another BPD-survivors

group.

On Wed, May 25, 2011 at 3:26 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> The way I look at it is, if someone wants to share here some technique or

> therapy or book or philosophy or religious precept that helped him or her

> handle their personality-disordered parents in an effective but non-abusive

> way, then, I'd like to hear it.

>

> Where I draw the line is being told, " This is the only way " or " this is the

> best way " or " this is the right way " .

>

> I feel that each of us has to discover what's going to work for us, as

> individuals. We each have a unique background and each of our nadas (or pd

> family) has their own set of behaviors, and we each have our own individual

> traumas to deal with. Only we know what we can and can't tolerate, and what

> we need to do in order to protect ourselves and yet be able to live with

> ourselves and to heal from our emotional injuries.

>

> So, I don't expect that what works for me will automatically work for

> everyone. And I don't think its right for me to judge another person who

> chooses to handle their pd parent situation differently than I do.

>

> ...Although I admit that my weak spot is reading about exposing children to

> abuse; I'll try to convince a member to please protect their child from an

> abusive parent or grandparent or relative, etc.

>

> So, anyway, that's my take on it.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > We all have buttons--one of mine is religion. Even though I have on

> occasion used bible quotes myself to make a point, I feel completely dissed

> by that ultimate authority figure.

> >

> > I feel like I have nothing in common with those who have religion as

> their foundation. I find it very difficult to not dismiss those people. I

> suppose I am really just mad at a god I simply can't believe exists, or

> exists in such a way that it is unaware/incapably of affecting our daily

> lives. I am trying to do better on this.

> >

> > It would probably help if we didn't often run into people in life that

> believe THEY know all the answers and try to stuff their religion down

> everyone else's throats.

> >

> > I have grown up a KO a BPD: I have had another person's 'reality' stuffed

> down my throat my whole life, while dishrag dad seconded every one of nada's

> opinions. This is gaslighting. I see the coercion to accept religion as

> another form of gaslighting.

> >

> > I love all of you here, I really do. I want us all to share our BPD

> stories and our triumphs over the patterns we were raised with. But I really

> am not hear to talk about a god and share bible quotes. I am sorry if that

> makes me sound like a bitch--I am sure I probably am.

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Would it be helpful for you to make a mental note of which posters might share

the kind of information that bothers you (whether you have seen it either in the

body of their email or the signature) and then simply avoid reading posts by

those people?

I know once or twice, I have felt slightly triggered by certain people's online

behavior and simply decided to enjoy the board without reading what they share.

It was helpful for me.

Sveta

But I really am not hear to talk about a god and share bible quotes. I am sorry

if that makes me sound like a bitch--I am sure I probably am.

>

[Guest guest]

I appreciate all the replies. When I read my post over again it feels like an

immature hissy fit (and just bitchy).

Like I sad, the religion piece makes me kind of crazy, no doubt a flea from nada

and her hypocrisy.

Thanks, I needed to be reminded to not throw the baby out with the bath water.

> I know once or twice, I have felt slightly triggered by certain people's

online behavior and simply decided to enjoy the board without reading what they

share. It was helpful for me.

>

> Sveta

[Guest guest]

Well, I didn't think you were bitchy. I thought, " Amen!...er, here, here! "

>

> I appreciate all the replies. When I read my post over again it feels like an

immature hissy fit (and just bitchy).

>

> Like I sad, the religion piece makes me kind of crazy, no doubt a flea from

nada and her hypocrisy.

>

> Thanks, I needed to be reminded to not throw the baby out with the bath water.

>

> > I know once or twice, I have felt slightly triggered by certain people's

online behavior and simply decided to enjoy the board without reading what they

share. It was helpful for me.

> >

> > Sveta

>