Nada called my work phone

[Guest guest]

AHHHH!!

I got to work today and found nada had left a voice mail at my desk (at 2 am):

" I am sorry we have had this lapse in communication. When you call me back in

the morning, I will know you love me. "  

JUST seeing her number on my missed calls gave me nearly a full blown panic

attack. (Shaking, sweating, crazy vision). 

So I am determined now to get her number blocked on my work phone, but nobody

seems to know how to do it!! I called the IT department, the network

administrators, and even the university police department!! How the hell do they

not know how to block a phone number!!?!?

Anyone else work in an office that uses Cisco IP phones???

[Guest guest]

So, so sorry! I've had those messages too... on every IM, phone, email, etc....

yuck!

I'm not sure if you can block on a Cisco hooked to a university but I would

think your IT folks could set it up to forward her number to a never ending loop

of nowhere (we know they exist...lol)

I think the main thing for you to look at is desensitizing yourself to her (much

easier said than done) to where you get to the point where you hear the first

note of her voice and hit delete. No reaction. No feeling obligated to listen

to her messages. I do that with Nada now... when I know she's a resident of

Planet Bizarre-O I just delete her calls immediately without listening to them.

I figure if it's truly critical, the police will show up... and no, they never

have.

My therapist got it in my head... just because Nada calls/IM's/demands

attention, doesn't mean I'm obligated to provide it. Period.

Lynnette <<< Nada left 37 messages in 12 hours... her " personal best. " I SO get

it!

>

> AHHHH!!

> I got to work today and found nada had left a voice mail at my desk (at 2 am):

" I am sorry we have had this lapse in communication. When you call me back in

the morning, I will know you love me. "  

>

> JUST seeing her number on my missed calls gave me nearly a full blown panic

attack. (Shaking, sweating, crazy vision). 

> So I am determined now to get her number blocked on my work phone, but nobody

seems to know how to do it!! I called the IT department, the network

administrators, and even the university police department!! How the hell do they

not know how to block a phone number!!?!?

> Anyone else work in an office that uses Cisco IP phones???

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

ARGH! I can't believe the audacity! " When you call, I will know you love

me. " Seriously? She's one crazy lady.

(hugs)

On Fri, May 27, 2011 at 10:06 AM, T wrote:

>

>

> AHHHH!!

> I got to work today and found nada had left a voice mail at my desk (at 2

> am): " I am sorry we have had this lapse in communication. When you call me

> back in the morning, I will know you love me. "

>

> JUST seeing her number on my missed calls gave me nearly a full blown panic

> attack. (Shaking, sweating, crazy vision).

> So I am determined now to get her number blocked on my work phone, but

> nobody seems to know how to do it!! I called the IT department, the network

> administrators, and even the university police department!! How the hell do

> they not know how to block a phone number!!?!?

> Anyone else work in an office that uses Cisco IP phones???

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ha ha " I know you love me "

Who is she trying to convince? You or herself? I imagine her saying that to

herself over and over and over like an affirmation.

On Fri, May 27, 2011 at 9:20 AM, Holly Byers

wrote:

> ARGH! I can't believe the audacity! " When you call, I will know you love

> me. " Seriously? She's one crazy lady.

>

> (hugs)

>

> On Fri, May 27, 2011 at 10:06 AM, T <honeybellorange@...

> >wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > AHHHH!!

> > I got to work today and found nada had left a voice mail at my desk (at 2

> > am): " I am sorry we have had this lapse in communication. When you call

> me

> > back in the morning, I will know you love me. "

> >

> > JUST seeing her number on my missed calls gave me nearly a full blown

> panic

> > attack. (Shaking, sweating, crazy vision).

> > So I am determined now to get her number blocked on my work phone, but

> > nobody seems to know how to do it!! I called the IT department, the

> network

> > administrators, and even the university police department!! How the hell

> do

> > they not know how to block a phone number!!?!?

> > Anyone else work in an office that uses Cisco IP phones???

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thank you for the reassurances. In those reactive moments, I feel like she has

SO much power over me. One phone call, and she can destroy my emotional world

for the next few hours. She doesn't deserve to have that power. 

I can't believe your nada left your 37 phone messages in 12 hours!! I think

you'd find me hiding under the bed if that happened....

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Friday, May 27, 2011 11:14 AM

Subject: Re: Nada called my work phone

 

So, so sorry! I've had those messages too... on every IM, phone, email, etc....

yuck!

I'm not sure if you can block on a Cisco hooked to a university but I would

think your IT folks could set it up to forward her number to a never ending loop

of nowhere (we know they exist...lol)

I think the main thing for you to look at is desensitizing yourself to her (much

easier said than done) to where you get to the point where you hear the first

note of her voice and hit delete. No reaction. No feeling obligated to listen

to her messages. I do that with Nada now... when I know she's a resident of

Planet Bizarre-O I just delete her calls immediately without listening to them.

I figure if it's truly critical, the police will show up... and no, they never

have.

My therapist got it in my head... just because Nada calls/IM's/demands

attention, doesn't mean I'm obligated to provide it. Period.

Lynnette <<< Nada left 37 messages in 12 hours... her " personal best. " I SO get

it!

>

> AHHHH!!

> I got to work today and found nada had left a voice mail at my desk (at 2 am):

" I am sorry we have had this lapse in communication. When you call me back in

the morning, I will know you love me. "  

>

> JUST seeing her number on my missed calls gave me nearly a full blown panic

attack. (Shaking, sweating, crazy vision). 

> So I am determined now to get her number blocked on my work phone, but nobody

seems to know how to do it!! I called the IT department, the network

administrators, and even the university police department!! How the hell do they

not know how to block a phone number!!?!?

> Anyone else work in an office that uses Cisco IP phones???

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

" She doesn't deserve to have that power " ... I had to learn that I was the one

giving her that power when she 'demanded' it... I don't do that anymore.

Doesn't mean she won't keep asking, but just because she contacts me doesn't

mean I have to jump. Ever.

The beautiful thing about those messages... I didn't listen to any of them.

Caller ID is my friend... I handed my phone to my therapist a day or two after

she did that and therapist listened to a few... she said, " I'm glad you never

listened to any of these... no daughter should have to be spoken to like this.

Delete them. " So I did... in the therapist's office. It was a huge turning

point in my recovery from her 40+ years of abuse. I finally allowed myself to

have the power to NOT act in response to her craziness. Sure, there have been

back/forth eb/flow moments since then but that was the first time I realized I

had a 100% CHOICE in how I was going to deal with her.

Lynnette

> >

> > AHHHH!!

> > I got to work today and found nada had left a voice mail at my desk (at 2

am): " I am sorry we have had this lapse in communication. When you call me back

in the morning, I will know you love me. "  

> >

> > JUST seeing her number on my missed calls gave me nearly a full blown panic

attack. (Shaking, sweating, crazy vision). 

> > So I am determined now to get her number blocked on my work phone, but

nobody seems to know how to do it!! I called the IT department, the network

administrators, and even the university police department!! How the hell do they

not know how to block a phone number!!?!?

> > Anyone else work in an office that uses Cisco IP phones???

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

That is an important turning point, to fully comprehend and accept that we have

the *right* to not sit paralyzed and allow our mentally ill parent to verbally

abuse us or milk us dry of our time and energy.

Its a huge breakthrough, really:

I have the right to refuse to be abused, and I have the power to make it so.

What was done to us is nothing less than brainwashing/mind control... from

babyhood, no less, to accept that this individual has the right to treat us any

way she feels like treating us, and we have no choice but to accept it.

Its so easy to brainwash a child who is born with unconditional love for you.

So, overcoming this extremely ingrained, practically hard-wired programming is

as difficult as swimming up a waterfall, but, hey, salmon do it.

Congrats for making it over the top of the waterfall, the hard way!

-Annie

> > >

> > > AHHHH!!

> > > I got to work today and found nada had left a voice mail at my desk (at 2

am): " I am sorry we have had this lapse in communication. When you call me back

in the morning, I will know you love me. "  

> > >

> > > JUST seeing her number on my missed calls gave me nearly a full blown

panic attack. (Shaking, sweating, crazy vision). 

> > > So I am determined now to get her number blocked on my work phone, but

nobody seems to know how to do it!! I called the IT department, the network

administrators, and even the university police department!! How the hell do they

not know how to block a phone number!!?!?

> > > Anyone else work in an office that uses Cisco IP phones???

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

<if you call I'll know you love me>

all that does is enrage me; i hate pity party manipulative crap like that. has

the opposite effect on me.