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Confused about bpd

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I have read bpd is a mental illness and I have read that it is not, but its

behavioral/emotional. Unlike schizophrenia or depression. I am confused as to

how much my mother was to blame for not getting help and how much my dad is to

blame for not forcing her if she truly had a mental illness. From what I've

read, a very high percentage of BPD people commit suicide. An even higher

percentage attempt it (I read 1 in 3 attempt and 1 in 10 complete). My mother

was one that threatened, but in the end, I think she actually killed herself by

not receiving medical attention when she should have. I could see she was

weary, though, and that saddens me. BPD is a horrible illness for the family,

but imagine the pain of the person experiencing it. Someone who cannot control

their emotions and has an insatiable need for attention that pushes everyone

around them away. The very thing they want -- love, acceptance, is the very

thing they push away from them with their behavoirs. What in the world had to

happen to them for them to feel so rejected and abandoned by society? I don't

know the answers, but I do know how it affected me growing up and the outcome

wasn't good. Sometimes I wonder if my mom had completed suicide, if I would

have been better off emotionally.

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I can't say for sure what percent your mom has responsability. I do believe

she is 100 percent responsible for yourself . . . but when you are sick. . .

.. What I wanted to address is your dad's responsibility. I don't think you

can ever " force someone " to get well, even if that person is your wife or

your child. They are responsible for themselves. BUT you can set boundaries

and take steps to protect your kids. He is responsible for that. 100%

> even higher percentage attempt it (I read 1 in 3 attempt and 1 in 10

> complete). My mother was one that threatened, but in the end, I think she

> actually killed herself by not receiving medical attention when she should

> have. I could see she was weary, though, and that saddens me. BPD is a

> horrible illness for the family, but imagine the pain of the person

> experiencing it. Someone who cannot control their emotions and has an

> insatiable need for attention that pushes everyone around them away. The

> very thing they want -- love, acceptance, is the very thing they push away

> from them with their behavoirs. What in the world had to happen to them for

> them to feel so rejected and abandoned by society? I don't know the answers,

> but I do know how it affected me growing up and the outcome wasn't good.

> Sometimes I wonder if my mom had completed suicide, if I would have been

> better off emotionally.

>

>

>

>

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I wonder the same things, . Would I have been better off if I hadn't been

raised by my biomom?

It is confusing RE what bpd is, exactly, and what does bpd mean in relation to

how much control the person with this condition actually has.

Personality disorder is definitely a mental illness, but, its such a different

kind of mental illness that it is in a separate Axis or major, first-order

subdivision within the DSM, the diagnostic and statistical manual used by

American psychiatrists to analyze and diagnose patients.

The law considers those with personality disorder to be legally sane, or, able

to know the difference between right and wrong, between what is real and what is

not real. Only those who are psychotic (severely disconnected with reality) are

considered " legally insane " and not responsible for criminal acts they might

commit.

That's where it gets gray, fuzzy and foggy, particularly with borderline pd.

My mother for example could keep it all together emotionally for work, where she

was well thought of but was never in a supervisory position; she was an OK

neighbor, she and dad had friends, would go to parties and throw the occasional

party, we saw our grandparents and other relatives pretty frequently.

(It was all surface, though. My mother never had a close friend that she would

hang out with, nobody ever just dropped over, everything had to be carefully

planned in advance.)

But at home, alone with me or Sister, Dad and me, it was like she could turn

instantly into a different person. An out of control shrieking angry, violent

person, inflicting vitriolic, devastating emotional abuse, unrealistic

perfectionism, blaming, accusing me and Sister and Dad of doing or saying things

we did NOT say or do, or in other words, a paranoid person. The kind of person

who would inflict terrifying physical punishments on small children for not

doing chores " perfectly. " At such times my mother, in my opinion, was

delusional and clearly NOT connected with reality.

And yet, delusional beliefs and paranoia alone are NOT considered to be

" psychotic. " It takes active sensory hallucinations: seeing people that aren't

there or hearing voices that aren't real, etc., before a person would be

considered " psychotic. "

So its like sometimes my mother could exert her will power and control her

roller-coaster emotions and her paranoia and her distorted negative perceptions,

thoughts and feelings when she wanted to badly enough: in public, but she let it

all hang out at home where she felt justified and entitled and *safe* to rage at

those who were too little or too dependent on her to do anything about it.

There were no consequences for acting out at her kids or her husband.

So until there is a major sea-change of understanding about how those with bpd

can manifest their disorder in such covert ways, and a sea-change that will

consider delusional thinking and paranoia to be as disconnected from reality as

hallucinations, there is no hope for the children of those with personality

disorder.

Right now our system can't even manage the overwhelming load of child abuse

cases from those who are blatantly, overtly and publicly abusive to their kids,

its going to be a very, very long time before our child welfare and protective

services system can even think about addressing the covert emotional abuse and

damage that children endure from personality-disordered parents who can be " that

great guy " or " that wonderful gal " in public.

-Annie

>

>

> I have read bpd is a mental illness and I have read that it is not, but its

behavioral/emotional. Unlike schizophrenia or depression. I am confused as to

how much my mother was to blame for not getting help and how much my dad is to

blame for not forcing her if she truly had a mental illness. From what I've

read, a very high percentage of BPD people commit suicide. An even higher

percentage attempt it (I read 1 in 3 attempt and 1 in 10 complete). My mother

was one that threatened, but in the end, I think she actually killed herself by

not receiving medical attention when she should have. I could see she was

weary, though, and that saddens me. BPD is a horrible illness for the family,

but imagine the pain of the person experiencing it. Someone who cannot control

their emotions and has an insatiable need for attention that pushes everyone

around them away. The very thing they want -- love, acceptance, is the very

thing they push away from them with their behavoirs. What in the world had to

happen to them for them to feel so rejected and abandoned by society? I don't

know the answers, but I do know how it affected me growing up and the outcome

wasn't good. Sometimes I wonder if my mom had completed suicide, if I would

have been better off emotionally.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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