whoa I set a boundary and the earth cracked!!!!!

June 10, 2011

You know, Girlscout, it strikes me that both you and I went through similar

things this week. We both set boundaries with either people we work with (you)

or family members (me) and the response from our respective parties was to push

back against us and get mad.

I think if we set a boundary that someone can't respect and gets mad about, then

we just have to let them get mad. Otherwise, we go back to being the

co-dependent BPD KOs but just in another bad relationship--whether it be work,

romantic, or family.

I'm glad you're feeling better about what happened. I'm starting to feel better

about mine. It's still unresolved, but I'm trying to support myself and take

care of myself and I am reaffirming that it is okay to do so. If someone wants

to call me rude because I need to end a conversation that is upsetting me, well,

that's their opinion. If it's what I need to do to take care of myself

emotionally, then I will end the conversation. If they choose to get upset, then

that's what they choose to do.

> > >

> > > Soooo wise advisors

> > >

> > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the models,

> > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers who

> > are

> > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > >

> > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges with

> > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > >

> > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> > sponsor.

> > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my business

> > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the process

> > of

> > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would be

> > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > >

> > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked for

> > so

> > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the money

> > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> > >

> > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to take on

> > a

> > > bunch of things.

> > >

> > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent long

> > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > responsibility.

> > >

> > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > >

> > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > > What do I do next?

> >

>

June 10, 2011

This is a great way of describing how to feel invisible " where the child is

really the parent unless you are out in public and then you pretend that mom is

in charge "

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Fri, June 10, 2011 10:41:59 AM

Subject: Re: whoa I set a boundary and the earth

cracked!!!!!

You know, Girlscout, it strikes me that both you and I went through similar

things this week. We both set boundaries with either people we work with (you)

or family members (me) and the response from our respective parties was to push

back against us and get mad.

I think if we set a boundary that someone can't respect and gets mad about, then

we just have to let them get mad. Otherwise, we go back to being the

co-dependent BPD KOs but just in another bad relationship--whether it be work,

romantic, or family.

I'm glad you're feeling better about what happened. I'm starting to feel better

about mine. It's still unresolved, but I'm trying to support myself and take

care of myself and I am reaffirming that it is okay to do so. If someone wants

to call me rude because I need to end a conversation that is upsetting me, well,

that's their opinion. If it's what I need to do to take care of myself

emotionally, then I will end the conversation. If they choose to get upset, then

that's what they choose to do.

> > >

> > > Soooo wise advisors

> > >

> > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the models,

> > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers who

> > are

> > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > >

> > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges with

> > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > >

> > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> > sponsor.

> > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my business

> > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the process

> > of

> > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would be

> > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > >

> > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked for

> > so

> > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the money

> > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> > >

> > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to take on

> > a

> > > bunch of things.

> > >

> > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent long

> > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > responsibility.

> > >

> > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > >

> > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > > What do I do next?

> >

>

June 10, 2011

Yep. Agreed!

I think that's why KO's become so freakin' good at crisis management... every

trip to the store, the school, a family function, EVERY SINGLE PUBLIC TRIP was a

production of managing the behavior of THEM! Really, I can, as I'm sure we all

can, come up with a list of things on our mental checklist that we ran through

before we left the house... things we had to make sure were done or anticipated

for or 'just in case' plan B's - Z's. All the while the BPD-er is crying in the

bedroom because her hair isn't right or her clothes are too tight or someone may

not like her... not cool when the kid (me) was 6.

Ok... another 'moment'.

Lynnette

> > > >

> > > > Soooo wise advisors

> > > >

> > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the models,

> > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers who

> > > are

> > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > > >

> > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges with

> > > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > > >

> > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> > > sponsor.

> > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my business

> > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the

process

> > > of

> > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would be

> > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > > >

> > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked for

> > > so

> > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the money

> > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> > > >

> > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to take

on

> > > a

> > > > bunch of things.

> > > >

> > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent long

> > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > > responsibility.

> > > >

> > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > > >

> > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > > > What do I do next?

> > >

> >

June 10, 2011

Look at you go, GS! (Cheering and jumping in the background!) You got clear

about what mattered, you set a clear path to getting it organized and under

control.

You are strong, talented and amazing. This is YOUR time to shine -- your

opinions are the only ones that matter, not those of some stunted adolescent or

absentee director.

And just because you had to say some difficult things DOES NOT mean you are a

diva--you said what needed to be said in a situation that grew from those in

charge not delivering. You proved yourself the stable, responsible ADULT who

saved the show in the face of a complete leadership vacuum.

> > >

> > > Soooo wise advisors

> > >

> > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the models,

> > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers who

> > are

> > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > >

> > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges with

> > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > >

> > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> > sponsor.

> > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my business

> > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the process

> > of

> > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would be

> > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > >

> > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked for

> > so

> > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the money

> > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> > >

> > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to take on

> > a

> > > bunch of things.

> > >

> > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent long

> > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > responsibility.

> > >

> > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > >

> > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > > What do I do next?

> >

>

June 10, 2011

Count me in, too! I flat out told my NPD boss 2 weeks ago that I was done with

getting last minute projects from him at 4 pm that were needed by 7am the next

morning.

Then at end of day yesterday he complemented me for the fine work I did this

week, stating " You did exemplary work this week, even with short deadlines--now

THAT is the Echobabe I know and love! "

That dumb SOB is trying to negate my boundary--by suggesting my work wasn't up

to his standards the week I stated it. I reminded him I had 2 weeks notice on 1

of the projects, which gave me ample time to think it through. Some day I will

find another boss who doesn't have a FRICKIN PD!!!

> > > >

> > > > Soooo wise advisors

> > > >

> > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the models,

> > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers who

> > > are

> > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > > >

> > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges with

> > > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > > >

> > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> > > sponsor.

> > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my business

> > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the

process

> > > of

> > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would be

> > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > > >

> > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked for

> > > so

> > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the money

> > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> > > >

> > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to take

on

> > > a

> > > > bunch of things.

> > > >

> > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent long

> > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > > responsibility.

> > > >

> > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > > >

> > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > > > What do I do next?

> > >

> >

June 10, 2011

Girlscout,

Just wanted to stop in and say congratulations to you. I can't imagine the

difficulty of the job you are doing or how hard it was to make it all work after

this. You've done a real big thing here. You should be proud.

Please let us all know how it went afterwards.

--LL.

June 10, 2011

Sorry if you are disappointed Lynette. At this point its my reputation, my

professional contacts, my ass and my show. And I'm treating it like its my

show. The only option w integrety was to get the job done for the friends,

loved ones and biz partners that I brought into it - believing my " partners

- the director and runway organizer " would pull through. After this my

fashion show partners can go fuck themselves.

To everyone else, thanks. It'll be ok and in the future I will only be doing

shows for which I am the director.

On Fri, Jun 10, 2011 at 11:30 AM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

> CONGRATS!

>

> You've gift-wrapped the dead animal well!

>

> Lynnette

>

> > > >

> > > > Soooo wise advisors

> > > >

> > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the

> models,

> > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers

> who

> > > are

> > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > > >

> > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges

> with

> > > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > > >

> > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> > > sponsor.

> > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my business

> > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the

> process

> > > of

> > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would

> be

> > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > > >

> > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked

> for

> > > so

> > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the

> money

> > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> > > >

> > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to

> take on

> > > a

> > > > bunch of things.

> > > >

> > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent

> long

> > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > > responsibility.

> > > >

> > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > > >

> > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > > > What do I do next?

> > >

> >

June 10, 2011

WHOA NELLY!

Why would you said I am DISAPPOINTED????

I'm not! I " m glad you wrapped it up how you needed to an aren't caught in the

emotional spin.

Have I NOT been fully supportive?

Golly!

Lynnette

> > > > >

> > > > > Soooo wise advisors

> > > > >

> > > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the

> > models,

> > > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers

> > who

> > > > are

> > > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > > > >

> > > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges

> > with

> > > > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > > > >

> > > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> > > > sponsor.

> > > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my business

> > > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the

> > process

> > > > of

> > > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would

> > be

> > > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > > > >

> > > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked

> > for

> > > > so

> > > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the

> > money

> > > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> > > > >

> > > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to

> > take on

> > > > a

> > > > > bunch of things.

> > > > >

> > > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent

> > long

> > > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > > > responsibility.

> > > > >

> > > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> > > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > > > > What do I do next?

> > > >

> > >

June 10, 2011

Glad to hear it! I've been meaning to put in my own two cents, or maybe fifty

cents, :-).

You did a big service to the volunteers when you got rid of the bitch girl and

her minions. It really struck me how you said the minions would run around

backstage screaming at the models, who were volunteers. Well, I have to tell

you, GS, both my daughter and I have done a ton of volunteer work, and if we

were screamed at by anybody we would walk off the job.

DD walked off in the middle of rehearsals for My Fair Lady because the director

screamed at the actors once too often - he didn't direct, he was truly abusive

and she just picked up her things and said " I quit " and left. We had a couple

other volunteer jobs we quit because the heads of the organizations were

treating the volunteers badly - as we said at the time, we're not getting paid

for this, so we don't have to take this kind of abuse.

So yay for you, because it was high time somebody called Miss Priss Bitch

Disorganized Idiot on her behavior. And that was you.

And yeah, I wouldn't do it again either.

PS And I don't believe you're a diva, just on top of things. There's a big

difference.

> Hey guys,

> I took the tiger by the tail and got the show organized. I appeared on a tv

> show today to talk about it. It is all going well now, I think I've got it

> back on track after 2 days of totall hell.

>

> But I'm never ever doing another one of these shows with this director.

> Talked to boyfriend last night and if I ever run another fashion show, I'm

> going to be the director. No sense in being the one running it all and

> having someone else take the credit at the end - too much like a

> dysfunctional family - where the child is really the parent unless you are

> out in public and then you pretend that mom is in charge.

>

> Thanks so much for the support, too. I got to see my T yesterday ( she had

> major surgery and has been out for a while, poor thing) She reminded me

> that the girl who was a bitch to me and quit in a huff is not an important

> person in my life, her opinions don't count in my life. She says the girl is

> stuck in a developmental stage from aroudn age 12 to 14. I can let her

> opinions float away.

>

> I really do feel like kind of a diva - but hell I'm good at this stuff, like

> really really good at it - so why not own that and say eff off to the people

> who are holding me back and slowoing me down.

>

> I've got dreams to acheive - I dont' have time for that BS.

>

> XOXO

June 11, 2011

yeah, you SHOULD be the director; actually, you are the director!

i liked what your t said. must keep that in mind with certain people in my life.

> > >

> > > Soooo wise advisors

> > >

> > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the models,

> > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers who

> > are

> > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > >

> > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges with

> > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > >

> > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> > sponsor.

> > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my business

> > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the process

> > of

> > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would be

> > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > >

> > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked for

> > so

> > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the money

> > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> > >

> > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to take on

> > a

> > > bunch of things.

> > >

> > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent long

> > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > responsibility.

> > >

> > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > >

> > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > > What do I do next?

> >

>

June 11, 2011

Oh sorry if I misunderstood Lynette - I thought you were saying I was owning

the dead animal that was his responsibiltiy - which I am - in order to save

about 50 other friendships and relationships. Many apologies for the

misunderstanding

Thanks for the support guys.

Yeah, I have to admit there is a little voice from the past - nada and fada

- saying you aren't a director, you little bitch, how dare you put yourself

above the rest. I'm going to set affirmations to get through that. And who

ever said being a diva was a bad thing? If you have the skills. . . . and

the experience. . .and the contacts. . . then just take charge and get it

done!!

>

> yeah, you SHOULD be the director; actually, you are the director!

>

> i liked what your t said. must keep that in mind with certain people in my

> life.

>

> > > >

> > > > Soooo wise advisors

> > > >

> > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the

> models,

> > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers

> who

> > > are

> > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > > >

> > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges

> with

> > > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > > >

> > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> > > sponsor.

> > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my business

> > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the

> process

> > > of

> > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would

> be

> > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > > >

> > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked

> for

> > > so

> > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the

> money

> > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> > > >

> > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to

> take on

> > > a

> > > > bunch of things.

> > > >

> > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent

> long

> > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > > responsibility.

> > > >

> > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > > >

> > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > > > What do I do next?

> > >

> >

June 12, 2011

OMG the bitch is trying to come to a pre-event fitting and walkthrough on

Tuesday night that I am running!!! Of course she told the director and cut

me out of the communication. I guess she thinks she is running it even after

resigning??? Wow, some bugs are hard to kill. I sent her this super

fake-nice e-mail. Now my boyfriend (a gentle giant who looks intimdating but

is actuall about 10,000 times more gentle than me feels like he needs to

come to this meeting to protect me) Ha!! No doubt I could take her - but who

wants to do that in front of 50 biz acquantances?

UGH, I'm going to beat this dead animal to death again before i " m done.

Just when I was feeling good about the show again. SHWEW

Here is the fake nice email: ----------

Hey Jenni,

Matt said you put the fitting on your schedule? Hey, I just wanted you to

know that I already have every i dotted and t crossed for the show, plus

more help backstage than needed. And we also let all the people in the show

know that you weren’t able to participate. So go do something fun with your

family and rest easy cuz we’ve got everything covered, no need to waste your

time.

Have a great rest of the weekend,

On Sat, Jun 11, 2011 at 9:23 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> Oh sorry if I misunderstood Lynette - I thought you were saying I was

> owning the dead animal that was his responsibiltiy - which I am - in order

> to save about 50 other friendships and relationships. Many apologies for the

> misunderstanding

>

> Thanks for the support guys.

>

> Yeah, I have to admit there is a little voice from the past - nada and fada

> - saying you aren't a director, you little bitch, how dare you put yourself

> above the rest. I'm going to set affirmations to get through that. And who

> ever said being a diva was a bad thing? If you have the skills. . . . and

> the experience. . .and the contacts. . . then just take charge and get it

> done!!

>

> On Sat, Jun 11, 2011 at 8:05 AM, Fiona wrote:

>

>>

>> yeah, you SHOULD be the director; actually, you are the director!

>>

>> i liked what your t said. must keep that in mind with certain people in my

>> life.

>>

>> > > >

>> > > > Soooo wise advisors

>> > > >

>> > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the

>> models,

>> > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers

>> who

>> > > are

>> > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

>> > > >

>> > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges

>> with

>> > > > about 20 of my best friends.

>> > > >

>> > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

>> > > sponsor.

>> > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my

>> business

>> > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the

>> process

>> > > of

>> > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would

>> be

>> > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

>> > > >

>> > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked

>> for

>> > > so

>> > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the

>> money

>> > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

>> > > >

>> > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to

>> take on

>> > > a

>> > > > bunch of things.

>> > > >

>> > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent

>> long

>> > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

>> > > responsibility.

>> > > >

>> > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

>> > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

>> > > >

>> > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

>> > > > What do I do next?

>> > >

>> >

June 12, 2011

All that occurs to me is that this woman must be sleeping with the director, or

he's the biggest wuss on the planet. Or both.

My advice is: don't write her anything, ignore her. Just be polite and go Medium

Chill when she shows up. Don't let her presence there upset you, *that's what

she wants.* Just get through the event with as much serenity as possible and

then just have nothing to do with either of these individuals ever again, or as

little as possible. If you let them upset you, then, its like they win. Don't

let them win.

Just my two cents.

-Annie

> >> > > >

> >> > > > Soooo wise advisors

> >> > > >

> >> > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the

> >> models,

> >> > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers

> >> who

> >> > > are

> >> > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges

> >> with

> >> > > > about 20 of my best friends.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> >> > > sponsor.

> >> > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my

> >> business

> >> > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the

> >> process

> >> > > of

> >> > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would

> >> be

> >> > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> >> > > >

> >> > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked

> >> for

> >> > > so

> >> > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the

> >> money

> >> > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to

> >> take on

> >> > > a

> >> > > > bunch of things.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent

> >> long

> >> > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> >> > > responsibility.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> >> > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> >> > > > What do I do next?

> >> > >

> >> >

June 12, 2011

This situation just seems wrong on every level, my 2 cents ...take care of

yourself girlscout! " just have nothing to do with either of these individuals

ever again " ...I agree with Annie, these people have activated my narcissistic

personality disorder radar (I think I 'll call it my nadar!) dw

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Sun, June 12, 2011 1:10:17 PM

Subject: Re: whoa I set a boundary and the earth

cracked!!!!!

All that occurs to me is that this woman must be sleeping with the director, or

he's the biggest wuss on the planet. Or both.

My advice is: don't write her anything, ignore her. Just be polite and go Medium

Chill when she shows up. Don't let her presence there upset you, *that's what

she wants.* Just get through the event with as much serenity as possible and

then just have nothing to do with either of these individuals ever again, or as

little as possible. If you let them upset you, then, its like they win. Don't

let them win.

Just my two cents.

-Annie

> >> > > >

> >> > > > Soooo wise advisors

> >> > > >

> >> > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the

> >> models,

> >> > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers

> >> who

> >> > > are

> >> > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges

> >> with

> >> > > > about 20 of my best friends.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> >> > > sponsor.

> >> > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my

> >> business

> >> > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the

> >> process

> >> > > of

> >> > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would

> >> be

> >> > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> >> > > >

> >> > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked

> >> for

> >> > > so

> >> > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the

> >> money

> >> > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to

> >> take on

> >> > > a

> >> > > > bunch of things.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent

> >> long

> >> > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> >> > > responsibility.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> >> > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> >> > > > What do I do next?

> >> > >

> >> >

June 12, 2011

She resigned. She has no input. However, your Director is a " whatever. " She

will be there. There will be no one to tell her " NO! "

That said, do your job. Do it with a huge smile on your face (duct tape behind

your hairline if you have to. Vaseline your teeth. But by God... SMILE!)

Point out in every conversation where she comes up, " It's unfortunate that she

did choose resign from this show under tense circumstances but I'm glad to see

she's so invested in our ongoing success that she showed up to be supportive

anyway. That speaks volumes about the worthwhile mission of this project,

don'tyathink? "

EVERY.

SINGLE.

CONVERSATION.

It's dirty, mean and manipulative. But it puts the blame right back in her lap.

" Here TOOTS... here's YOUR freakin' ROTTING CARCASS... enjoy your career! "

Lynnette - Don't %$#@#$ with ME, Baby! ;o)

> >> > > >

> >> > > > Soooo wise advisors

> >> > > >

> >> > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the

> >> models,

> >> > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion designers

> >> who

> >> > > are

> >> > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning bridges

> >> with

> >> > > > about 20 of my best friends.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a $6,000

> >> > > sponsor.

> >> > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my

> >> business

> >> > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in the

> >> process

> >> > > of

> >> > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I would

> >> be

> >> > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> >> > > >

> >> > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he balked

> >> for

> >> > > so

> >> > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling the

> >> money

> >> > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do that.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused to

> >> take on

> >> > > a

> >> > > > bunch of things.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and talent

> >> long

> >> > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> >> > > responsibility.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of my

> >> > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> >> > > > What do I do next?

> >> > >

> >> >

June 12, 2011

Yes, the director is a total wuss - dishrag. the funny thing about dishrags

is that they always leave me feeling like I must be the biggest bitch ever -

becase I have boundaries and they don't. Instead of owning the bitchy

feeling, I'm doing a visualization - of me - but I've been converted into a

self-confident gay man who wears what he wants, says what he wants and goes

where he wants. If he puts on a production, it is a Production with a

capitol P, YES, I'm OWNING the DIVA title she gave me. I'll be at that damn

fitting with a huge white afro and rhinestone lashes on - i'm gonna be

sassy!!!!

So here is how she responded " Are you running the show now? "

Me " Yes " (I wasn't sure if she meant i was doing her job or everything - but

basically I'm doing both so best seemed the best answer and would shut her

up the fastest.)

her " Ah I see big surprise. It's what you have been trying to do for some

time now, so. . . congratulations??

Me: no response - just picturing me- the diva. by god, we divas put on the

MOST amazing shows don't we? Too bad we have to break a few eggs who don't

catch the vision or can't keep up with the ambitious pace we set or who get

mad when we remind them their tasks aren't getting done and quit and then

try to take it back and unquit

So - - at this point I doubt very much she will come to the fitting if she

does I will go medium chill, run the show and the boys can chase her off.

What a little bitch. Gawd, girls like that are honeslty the reason I quit

going to church around age 13. Little predators with pigtails and budding

boobs - they smile at you but you really know that they are narcissest who

want to ride you like a bull and own you - even if it only last 8 seconds,

it'll be a victory they talk about for an eternity.

Wow, I've got drag analogies mixed with rodeo analagies - crazinesss!!! I

guess that shows who i really am - a diva who grew up as a mormon cowgirl.

Funny that she thinks I would want to run that show when it is SOOOO much

easier just to do my own show - which I do regularly.

Fuck her, maybe I'll beat her to death with the dead animal. That sounds

satisfying.

XOXO you guys.

On Sun, Jun 12, 2011 at 4:02 PM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

> She resigned. She has no input. However, your Director is a " whatever. " She

> will be there. There will be no one to tell her " NO! "

>

> That said, do your job. Do it with a huge smile on your face (duct tape

> behind your hairline if you have to. Vaseline your teeth. But by God...

> SMILE!)

>

> Point out in every conversation where she comes up, " It's unfortunate that

> she did choose resign from this show under tense circumstances but I'm glad

> to see she's so invested in our ongoing success that she showed up to be

> supportive anyway. That speaks volumes about the worthwhile mission of this

> project, don'tyathink? "

>

> EVERY.

> SINGLE.

> CONVERSATION.

>

> It's dirty, mean and manipulative. But it puts the blame right back in her

> lap. " Here TOOTS... here's YOUR freakin' ROTTING CARCASS... enjoy your

> career! "

>

> Lynnette - Don't %$#@#$ with ME, Baby! ;o)

>

> > >> > > >

> > >> > > > Soooo wise advisors

> > >> > > >

> > >> > > > This is my problem - I am not the director of this show. But the

> > >> models,

> > >> > > > sponsors, vintage shops, performers, musicians and fashion

> designers

> > >> who

> > >> > > are

> > >> > > > involved are all my friends - and they are doing it for me.

> > >> > > >

> > >> > > > I would walk away now - but I feel like I would be burning

> bridges

> > >> with

> > >> > > > about 20 of my best friends.

> > >> > > >

> > >> > > > I wish I had never taken this on. When it started, we had a

> $6,000

> > >> > > sponsor.

> > >> > > > The director asked me to deposit the sponsorship money in my

> > >> business

> > >> > > > account because he just closed his business and I was just in

> the

> > >> process

> > >> > > of

> > >> > > > opening mine. So I felt like it was a joint show - and that I

> would

> > >> be

> > >> > > > making a lot of decisions as well as writing the checks

> > >> > > >

> > >> > > > However, when it came time to sign paperwork for the event he

> balked

> > >> for

> > >> > > so

> > >> > > > long that I backed out and said I wasn't comfortable handeling

> the

> > >> money

> > >> > > > because it was clear that he wasn't comfortable having me do

> that.

> > >> > > >

> > >> > > > At that point I started to set a lot of boundaries and refused

> to

> > >> take on

> > >> > > a

> > >> > > > bunch of things.

> > >> > > >

> > >> > > > But, I had already recruited all the models, performers and

> talent

> > >> long

> > >> > > > before thinking it was basically going to be my show and my

> > >> > > responsibility.

> > >> > > >

> > >> > > > So now I feel like I got screwed over. And I'm stuck with all of

> my

> > >> > > > relationships on the line and none of the control of the event.

> > >> > > >

> > >> > > > I'm between a rock and a hard place.

> > >> > > > What do I do next?

> > >> > >

> > >> >

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