Re: Weird dreams--let's make a comparison list

[Guest guest]

This same kind of dream used to reccur when I was a little girl: I was trying to

climb up a steep cliff as the waves were lapping my feet.The more I

tried,thecloser the water came. One interpretation I thought of is that the sea

represented my mother. I am french and the word for mother is " mere " the word

for sea is " mer " .Is this really far fetched?

A problem I need advice for: my nada accused me of putting my name on her

checkbook(!!!) This was 3 weeks ago and I got upset she would even think

that.Well, she has been nc since then.Not calling at all down from up to 15

times a day.Those who know her, tell me to enjoy it while it lasts.

Unfortunately,she is now calling my 2 daughters and demanding they do for her

what I did (Everything!!). The guilt is killing me although my daughters know

how to handle her much better than I can.

Advice ,please!

[Guest guest]

Interesting dream, I think your correlation of " mer " and " mere " is probably

right on target.

Regarding the issue of your nada accusing you of doing something with her

checkbook (she thinks you used one of her checks, or something like that, I'm

guessing)...

well, see, that is an irrational, delusional belief, and you basically can't

argue with an irrational person. Reality, facts and logic have no meaning for

the irrational person who is having paranoid delusions.

So, there is nothing you *can* do, unfortunately. She may persist in that

paranoid delusion, or she may eventually (for unknown reasons) decide that you

didn't " put your name on her checkbook " after all.

This is really similar to the kinds of accusations my nada has made over the

years ; I'd rather often be accused of saying things I did not say, doing things

I did not do, or even thinking things I was not thinking. My nada was recently

diagnosed with Alzheimer's, but, I have a feeling that her lifetime of rather

delusional and paranoid thinking is related, somehow, to the organic brain

deterioration that is Alzheimer's.

(If your nada is elderly and is beginning to exhibit more delusional, paranoid

thinking than she used to, and seems to be having more difficulty with memory

than she used to, then that's something to look into and could be more than just

her bpd.)

Please be gentle with yourself and reassure yourself that you have done nothing

wrong, and there is nothing for you to feel guilty about.

Feel sad for your nada, and feel pity for her, but please do not confuse feeling

sadness or pity with feeling guilt and responsibility: you are not responsible

for your nada's dysfunctional mental state and have done nothing to feel guilty

over. Feeling guilty for something you didn't do is inappropriate and

misplaced.

Its sad and frustrating, but none of us can prevent a mentally ill loved one,

friend, neighbor, co-worker or stranger from having false, paranoid thoughts

about us or fixed delusional beliefs about us; its simply not in our power.

You've said that your adult daughters realize that their grandnada is mentally

ill, and they know that you would not do something unethical/immoral regarding

your nada's checkbook, so, that is a blessing that they understand the reality

of your nada's condition. Perhaps you and your daughters can get together to

discuss your nada's behaviors, discuss getting your nada a checkup and possibly

a psychiatric evaluation, and if you haven't already, begin researching what

your options are for when your nada gets to the point of needing full-time

supervised care.

Bpd and dementia; just sad, pitiful and frustrating any way you look at it.

-Annie

>

> This same kind of dream used to reccur when I was a little girl: I was trying

to climb up a steep cliff as the waves were lapping my feet.The more I

tried,thecloser the water came. One interpretation I thought of is that the sea

represented my mother. I am french and the word for mother is " mere " the word

for sea is " mer " .Is this really far fetched?

> A problem I need advice for: my nada accused me of putting my name on her

checkbook(!!!) This was 3 weeks ago and I got upset she would even think

that.Well, she has been nc since then.Not calling at all down from up to 15

times a day.Those who know her, tell me to enjoy it while it lasts.

Unfortunately,she is now calling my 2 daughters and demanding they do for her

what I did (Everything!!). The guilt is killing me although my daughters know

how to handle her much better than I can.

> Advice ,please!

>

>

[Guest guest]

I used to have recurring drowning dreams, really awful things to experience.

In the first drowning dream, I am scanning the sea at a popular seaside holiday

destination. The sky is dark and ominous, the daylight is half gone, the sea is

very choppy with waves smacking into the boardwalk and promenade from all

directions. I am searching for my children, but know that they have drowned -

they were supposed to be being cared for by my nada. She wanted to take them to

the beach.

In the second drowning dream, I am looking at my nada's empty backyard. She has

a pleasant backyard swimming pool and the weather is sunny and warm. I am once

again wanting to see my children (who were around kindergarten age), but know

that they have drowned. They were supposed to have been looked after by my

nada.

Both of these dreams were associated with enormous fear and resentment, because

in real life I was being heavily pressured by both my parents to provide nada

with time with my children on her own. I told my T about the dreams and she

said " Yes, you drowned. " and I said " No, it was my children who drowned. " The T

felt that it was really about me, drowning in my own childhood - drowning in

nada's emotions perhaps or knowing that I was totally unable to escape.

>

> This same kind of dream used to reccur when I was a little girl: I was trying

to climb up a steep cliff as the waves were lapping my feet.The more I

tried,thecloser the water came. One interpretation I thought of is that the sea

represented my mother. I am french and the word for mother is " mere " the word

for sea is " mer " .Is this really far fetched?

> A problem I need advice for: my nada accused me of putting my name on her

checkbook(!!!) This was 3 weeks ago and I got upset she would even think

that.Well, she has been nc since then.Not calling at all down from up to 15

times a day.Those who know her, tell me to enjoy it while it lasts.

Unfortunately,she is now calling my 2 daughters and demanding they do for her

what I did (Everything!!). The guilt is killing me although my daughters know

how to handle her much better than I can.

> Advice ,please!

>

>

[Guest guest]

Interesting so many of you dream of water in some sense.

Other things I have dreamed:

- Driving a car, going down a hill and my brakes don't work. I keep going faster

and faster and there's nothing I can do about it.

- As a child and even in my teens, I often dreamed I was somewhere like school

or a store and suddenly realized I was naked and could not hide.

- Sometimes I have dreamed during my water dreams, that I could breathe under

water.

- The most disturbing one, is I am in a house and being chased by someone and I

see a door that's the exit so I can get out, but when I open it, its just a door

to another room in the house. I frantically keep doing this over and over and

cannot find the way out of the house. Sometimes as I go from room to room, the

rooms gets smaller and smaller until I am wedged in a room and completely

trapped.

- Of course, I already posted about all my turbulent water dreams, floods,

hurricanes, storms.

>

> Hi all,

>

> I'm back, and thank you for your patience with me. Over time I have noticed we

all share strange recurring dreams that we have, and I was wondering how many

other dreams we all have that are similar and/or recurring. I thought it might

be interesting to get a running list going to compare and see how many

dream/dream-types we share. I'll go first, with my most disturbing ones:

>

> Nada as a car/bed that I am strapped down in and she is out-of-control going

to crash and kill me...So I am strapped down in this bed that is actually a car

and the bed-car is actually Nada. She is " driving " dangerously fast and

out-of-control and I'm afraid for my life. I have absolutely no control and my

screams do nothing to slow her down or stop her.--I had this one mostly in my

teen years and early 20s when I was still living with her and then coming home

from the dorm at college. Particularly in high school this dream was strong and

forceful.

>

> Another recurring theme, though circumstances are different in each one, are

the dreams where I murder nada. I still occasionally have this one--usually I do

it with a knife. And then I'm trying to not be found out. It's scary because of

the horror that I actually did it, the horror that I actually feel relief that I

did it, and then the worst part is hiding so I won't be found out.

>

> Then another recurring dream is being in a department store--usually the

military PX where we shopped when I was a child--and trying to hide from her.

Sometimes I'm naked, sometimes not, but always trying to hide from her.

>

> Those are three dreams off the top of my head, though I assure you there are

many others--possibly worse that I'm blocking out right now. I do have a lot of

anxiety dreams but she is rarely in those. Usually dreams with nada include

emotions like absolute fear or horror, shame, humiliation, no control, and

hopelessness.

>

> Hmmm, that's kind of interesting...

>

> What are yours?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Ah, yes: the " suddenly naked in public " dream. Sometimes when I have that

dream, the other people in the dream don't notice that I'm topless and its no

big deal although I'm the only one partially nude. Yet in other versions of

that dream the other people do notice I'm half-naked, and I'm trying to find

something to cover up with. I find it odd that I'm apparently so extremely

modest (or so extremely shamed about my body) that in my " naked in public "

dreams I'm never completely naked.

-Annie

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > I'm back, and thank you for your patience with me. Over time I have noticed

we all share strange recurring dreams that we have, and I was wondering how many

other dreams we all have that are similar and/or recurring. I thought it might

be interesting to get a running list going to compare and see how many

dream/dream-types we share. I'll go first, with my most disturbing ones:

> >

> > Nada as a car/bed that I am strapped down in and she is out-of-control going

to crash and kill me...So I am strapped down in this bed that is actually a car

and the bed-car is actually Nada. She is " driving " dangerously fast and

out-of-control and I'm afraid for my life. I have absolutely no control and my

screams do nothing to slow her down or stop her.--I had this one mostly in my

teen years and early 20s when I was still living with her and then coming home

from the dorm at college. Particularly in high school this dream was strong and

forceful.

> >

> > Another recurring theme, though circumstances are different in each one, are

the dreams where I murder nada. I still occasionally have this one--usually I do

it with a knife. And then I'm trying to not be found out. It's scary because of

the horror that I actually did it, the horror that I actually feel relief that I

did it, and then the worst part is hiding so I won't be found out.

> >

> > Then another recurring dream is being in a department store--usually the

military PX where we shopped when I was a child--and trying to hide from her.

Sometimes I'm naked, sometimes not, but always trying to hide from her.

> >

> > Those are three dreams off the top of my head, though I assure you there are

many others--possibly worse that I'm blocking out right now. I do have a lot of

anxiety dreams but she is rarely in those. Usually dreams with nada include

emotions like absolute fear or horror, shame, humiliation, no control, and

hopelessness.

> >

> > Hmmm, that's kind of interesting...

> >

> > What are yours?

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Haaaaa!! Miss Modesty

On Thu, Oct 6, 2011 at 7:17 AM, anuria67854 wrote:

> **

>

>

> Ah, yes: the " suddenly naked in public " dream. Sometimes when I have that

> dream, the other people in the dream don't notice that I'm topless and its

> no big deal although I'm the only one partially nude. Yet in other versions

> of that dream the other people do notice I'm half-naked, and I'm trying to

> find something to cover up with. I find it odd that I'm apparently so

> extremely modest (or so extremely shamed about my body) that in my " naked in

> public " dreams I'm never completely naked.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> > >

> > > Hi all,

> > >

> > > I'm back, and thank you for your patience with me. Over time I have

> noticed we all share strange recurring dreams that we have, and I was

> wondering how many other dreams we all have that are similar and/or

> recurring. I thought it might be interesting to get a running list going to

> compare and see how many dream/dream-types we share. I'll go first, with my

> most disturbing ones:

> > >

> > > Nada as a car/bed that I am strapped down in and she is out-of-control

> going to crash and kill me...So I am strapped down in this bed that is

> actually a car and the bed-car is actually Nada. She is " driving "

> dangerously fast and out-of-control and I'm afraid for my life. I have

> absolutely no control and my screams do nothing to slow her down or stop

> her.--I had this one mostly in my teen years and early 20s when I was still

> living with her and then coming home from the dorm at college. Particularly

> in high school this dream was strong and forceful.

> > >

> > > Another recurring theme, though circumstances are different in each

> one, are the dreams where I murder nada. I still occasionally have this

> one--usually I do it with a knife. And then I'm trying to not be found out.

> It's scary because of the horror that I actually did it, the horror that I

> actually feel relief that I did it, and then the worst part is hiding so I

> won't be found out.

> > >

> > > Then another recurring dream is being in a department store--usually

> the military PX where we shopped when I was a child--and trying to hide from

> her. Sometimes I'm naked, sometimes not, but always trying to hide from her.

>

> > >

> > > Those are three dreams off the top of my head, though I assure you

> there are many others--possibly worse that I'm blocking out right now. I do

> have a lot of anxiety dreams but she is rarely in those. Usually dreams with

> nada include emotions like absolute fear or horror, shame, humiliation, no

> control, and hopelessness.

> > >

> > > Hmmm, that's kind of interesting...

> > >

> > > What are yours?

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I haven't ever had any recurring dreams about nada, but I do have some with

her in them that are very strange. I remember one, very vivid dream. I was

making a very nice dinner for a friend who was dying (not a real life

friend, but you know, one of those dream friends lol). Anyway, I had this

wonderful meal all set up waiting for him to come over to eat. Suddenly,

nada was there & wanted me to walk her around my property and show her my

house. When we got back inside, there were all these people there that she

had invited and they were eating the very special meal I had made for my

dying friend.

It invoked so much emotion, that I woke myself up yelling, " Get your hands

off my F***ing food! " . Scared the bejeebies out of my hubby too lol.

I do tend to talk/yell/laugh in my sleep. Usually it's when there's such a

strong, powerful emotion in a dream.

Once I was dreaming I was in this dungeon and it was very dark except for

one beam of light coming through the ceiling where there was a hole.

Suddenly, I saw this giant eyeball across the room in the darkness. It

came closer, and it was this strange & scary monster. I was suddenly imbued

with the knowledge of how to subdue it: Make silly noises at it. And I

woke myself & hubby up making one hell of a silly noise!!! OMG, it was

hillarious. I immediately knew what I had done and was laughing so hard.

The only recurrent dream I've had lately is since I've been in nursing

school. I kept dreaming I was being forced to take state boards at whatever

point I was in at that time in the program. I was terrified! I just knew I

didn't know enough to pass boards. I'd always wake up after I finished the

really hard exam and never knew if I passed or not.

Well a couple of months ago, I had it again, but I didn't wake up after the

exam. I actually stayed asleep & finished the dream... and I PASSED boards!

I haven't had the dream since.

Pretty crazy & interesting topic here! I love hearing about people's dreams

lol.

Mia

[Guest guest]

Great idea , this thread is so fascinating!

Some of my most frequent are:

1) Being chased by some sort of predator. Usually a wild dog or a wolf or some

other kind of canine. I think this might be why strange dogs make me a little

nervous. The scariest ones always start out with me seeing them through a window

or a glass door of my house. They don't look threatening, but something in my

gut tells me they are dangerous. Then it seems like the second I realize I

should be scared, the " leader " will look up suddenly and lock eyes with me and

give this creepy sinister " You can run and hide if you want, but I. Will. GET.

YOU. " kind of evil smile. Then starts me trying frantically to lock all the

windows and doors to keep them out, but they always find some way in and then

the locks that I put to protect myself end up trapping me, slowing my escape.

The only thing that stops the terror of these dreams is when I have dream

siblings or little kids to protect. Having the responsibility doesn't take away

the scary but at least it propels me to fight instead of running. Once in a blue

moon I actually win and the bad guys slink off.

It took me the longest time to realize these dreams were all about Nada. It

seems ridiculously obvious now that I think about it. I can actually superimpose

her rage face over the wolves' creepy smile sometimes.

2) Chased by tornadoes. The only difference between the tornado chase and the

wolf chase is the wolves are malicious. They INTEND to cause harm. They want to

rip me apart. The tornadoes are not alive; they're just super destructive and

unstoppable. I always seem to be a " tornado magnet " in these dreams.

3) I used to get the naked ones when I was younger. Trying to sneak around and

find clothes but couldn't and everyone is staring and talking about me. Haven't

had one of those in a while.

4) Anybody else get the ones where someone is reaaally disappointed in you over

something minor? Usually it's about something that happened in real life, but

your dream close friend/family member is extremely disappointed that you did or

didn't do something for them. I wake up from these with that feeling I got when

I was " split black " by Nada, like I'm a total failure.

>

> Hi all,

>

> I'm back, and thank you for your patience with me. Over time I have noticed we

all share strange recurring dreams that we have, and I was wondering how many

other dreams we all have that are similar and/or recurring. I thought it might

be interesting to get a running list going to compare and see how many

dream/dream-types we share. I'll go first, with my most disturbing ones:

>

> Nada as a car/bed that I am strapped down in and she is out-of-control going

to crash and kill me...So I am strapped down in this bed that is actually a car

and the bed-car is actually Nada. She is " driving " dangerously fast and

out-of-control and I'm afraid for my life. I have absolutely no control and my

screams do nothing to slow her down or stop her.--I had this one mostly in my

teen years and early 20s when I was still living with her and then coming home

from the dorm at college. Particularly in high school this dream was strong and

forceful.

>

> Another recurring theme, though circumstances are different in each one, are

the dreams where I murder nada. I still occasionally have this one--usually I do

it with a knife. And then I'm trying to not be found out. It's scary because of

the horror that I actually did it, the horror that I actually feel relief that I

did it, and then the worst part is hiding so I won't be found out.

>

> Then another recurring dream is being in a department store--usually the

military PX where we shopped when I was a child--and trying to hide from her.

Sometimes I'm naked, sometimes not, but always trying to hide from her.

>

> Those are three dreams off the top of my head, though I assure you there are

many others--possibly worse that I'm blocking out right now. I do have a lot of

anxiety dreams but she is rarely in those. Usually dreams with nada include

emotions like absolute fear or horror, shame, humiliation, no control, and

hopelessness.

>

> Hmmm, that's kind of interesting...

>

> What are yours?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I've had the same thing with lucid dreams, right as I'm waking up. It never

lasts long enough to do anything. Supposedly it's something of a skill you can

pick up.

I tried to do it my junior year of college. I'd read that one of the things that

helps is keeping a dream journal and just being very focused on your dreams with

an intent to recognize lucid dreams and induce them. I noticed that I started

dreaming far more frequently than normal, but I also started waking up a lot

more frequently too. Eventually it started disrupting my sleep too much and I

kind of let it go. It was weird that I could make it happen just by focusing on

it so much, though. I wonder what would have happened if I'd kept with it...

Subject: Re: Weird dreams--let's make a comparison list

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Tuesday, October 4, 2011, 8:42 PM

RE the toilet dreams, maybe those mean we don't feel there is a clean or

" safe " place in our environment to take care of our basic human needs, so we

have to just wait and keep looking for a safe place to just be ourselves?

I don't know, maybe the " discovering unknown rooms in my new home " recurring

dreams are about searching for mental health, or finding mental health; sounds

plausible. All I'm sure of is that I LOVE those dreams, they're very satisfying

and happy.

Have you ever had a lucid dream, or even a partially lucid dream? A lucid dream

is when, as you are experiencing the dream, you actually realize that you are

dreaming. I've done that a few times, but its almost always right before I wake

up, so I don't get to really do anything with that knowledge. I would love it

if I had the ability to " direct " my dreams, like a director filming a movie;

that would be awesome.

-Annie