Re: sacrificing a family member

[Guest guest]

I can relate to having a somewhat socially inept nada. I also used to believe

she was just so much more smart and perceptive than I was. Now I know what load

of hooey that is. I've noticed recently a lot of the things she says are so

racist. Ex, the onther day she was talking about going to the flea market that

is frequented by the very large Hispanic population in our area. My littlest

sister (12yo) mentioned that she thought that particular market was " old and

ghetto " and nada basically said, " Well, of course it is. It's run by the

Hispanics. " I was kind of shocked and said, " Mom, that's kind of racist. " and

she made a blanket statement that said basically all hispanics are

poor/destitute and second-class citizens. I don't think she really means to be a

racist douche; it's borne more out of ignorance and an inability to recognize

boundaries. She was truly unable to understand why that was offensive.

She has this one Pakistani friend that she talks to all the time (I can't

believe this woman is still hanging out with her, she seems really sweet to me).

Nada is constantly mixing up Pakistani and Indian culture/food/dress/whatever. I

can see the look of irritation on Friend's face when nada does this. You would

think she'd know it was offensive, especially given the two countries' history.

/sigh

>

> Sunspot and Annie,

>

> I rarely had to live the way you two describe--my nada was only that

controlling when she was in a complete rage. Luckily for me, people can only be

in high rage for a short time without giving away they are nuts--so my nada

would reign it in. Most of the time it was just avoid her, avoid being a target.

>

> I also think my nada did not have the social IQ necessary to pull off the

dramatic behaviors done to Sunspot (I'm sorry hun, those poisonous hugs sound

terrible!).

>

> Funny when I was young I thought my mother was very smart and had infinite

power. Then years later that I realized she had very dumb reactions to everyday

occurrences and was almost socially inept. She's gotten really good at covering

her butt to the outside, and getting HER message out before her enemy can. But

she's still socially inept.

>