Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 I asked my DH since he knows more about money issues than be, and he adamantly said, " no, you don't want to do that. " Then you'd have to pay taxes on it, and you don't want to get caught up in your nada's lies to the gov't. I'd say let her worry about it herself. Holly > ** > > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a > hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. > Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying > desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now > she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state > will find it and take away her benefits. > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 Step away from the phone! Amber, please just say " no. " This is a nada trap. You will be tied to her to have to discuss this car forever. If she's trying to evade taxes, well that's breaking the law. You don't want to be a party to that, right? I don't know all the implications, but for your own sanity, please tell her you can't do it. It's not your fault there are tax laws or that she hasn't or can't work. Don't let her FOG you into it. - > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 God, I can hardly even breathe right now. I'm having an anxiety attack. I can't tell my husband 'cause he'll flip out. He can't stand my mother. Of course, she'll be financially ruined if I don't do what she's asking. She'll pay the taxes, I'm not worried about that. If I don't do it, she'll just convince my brother to. Why? Why? Why? > > > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. > > > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 NO, NO, NO, NO, NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! (that's the short answer) Right off the top of my head, and without having any specialized training or professional status, I would suggest that this is a HUGE can of worms and you will wind up being sorry if you say yes. Considerations: If there is additional cost incurred in connection with the car, it's in your name (registration, parking tickets, other traffic tickets, etc.) If she goes through a red light with a camera and the tag's in your name, guess who gets the ticket? Do you have an alibi for every single time this happens? Are you willing to go to traffic court with your alibi, every single time? Insurance - is it also going to be in your name? If she has a wreck, and the insurance pays off, what happens to your premiums? If you allow her to drive and there's any indication that she shouldn't be driving (age, mental incapacity, drug use, drinking) - you've put a huge weapon in her hands. Guess who gets sued if she does some real damage? If she's a BPD, and she feels entitled to do whatever she wants with " her " property, and she sells the car, then where does the sale money go? Onto your income balance for taxes? What does this do to your tax return? To say nothing of the fact that she's scamming the government, and you'll be implicated. Do you really want to hire lawyers to defend you against a federal fraud charge? There are probably a hundred and one more reasons why this is a TERRIBLE idea. Just off the top of my head... > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 I hate the kind of no-win situations they put us KO's in. To the degree that you care and don't want bad things to happen to them they use that for their own ends. Ambertolina, my thoughts are that if she is financially ruined then she ends up back where she was before the inheritance and she was somehow surviving then right? I hear you about the Why? It's the most painful question. Eliza > > > > > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. > > > > > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 Amber - sounds like your husband has GOOD REASON to detest your mother. (For the record, my mother tries to pull this same kind of crap. I've had to tell her " no " a hundred times when she tries to get me involved in some scam or other.) So - I say TELL YOUR HUSBAND. He will be your backup and your " excuse " - " Mom, I wish I could help you, but says we absolutely cannot put our name on this due to tax concerns. " Doesn't matter if that's what he really says (although I'm sure he will!) - you just need a plausible excuse. She can be mad at him - and it sounds like he doesn't care (good for him!). You CANNOT get involved in this. Your mother will not be " financially ruined " if she's already receiving income-based benefits. If she lives in one of the US states,and she comes into a windfall, that is supposed to help support her (instead of the taxpayers doing it). When she depletes that money, her benefits will most likely pick up again. She's not supposed to be blowing inherited cash when the rest of us are paying her bills for her. She should have considered that when she bought the car BEFORE figuring out what it would do to her benefits - and it is not your responsibility to fix this for her. Please, let your husband back you up in telling Nada " NO " - and feel free to forewarn your brother about the implications of getting involved, as well. Nada ought to be on her own with this one. > > > > > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. > > > > > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 Hi Amber, Why? Because those with narcissistic and antisocial pd traits do not care about putting others, even their own children, at risk to benefit their own selves. Other people are for using, that's all. I agree with the other members who have advised you to not agree to put your nada's new car in your name so that she doesn't have to pay taxes on it or whatever else she is asking you to do RE hiding her inheritance money from the government so she can avoid paying taxes on it. She is asking you to collude with her in committing tax fraud, which is at the very least unethical if not outright criminal. YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for financial messes your mother gets herself into; she is an adult. She is responsible for her own self, her own finances and her own words and behaviors and choices. Its not OK to ask your adult child to help you commit criminal acts. Period. End of sentence. " No, mom. I'm sorry, but that's simply not going to work for me. I don't want to get mixed up in tax fraud. " -Annie > > > > > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. > > > > > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 Just say no and then say a prayer that your brother will grow a pair Rhyming unintentional On Fri, Oct 7, 2011 at 3:27 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > ** > > > Hi Amber, > > Why? Because those with narcissistic and antisocial pd traits do not care > about putting others, even their own children, at risk to benefit their own > selves. Other people are for using, that's all. > > I agree with the other members who have advised you to not agree to put > your nada's new car in your name so that she doesn't have to pay taxes on it > or whatever else she is asking you to do RE hiding her inheritance money > from the government so she can avoid paying taxes on it. She is asking you > to collude with her in committing tax fraud, which is at the very least > unethical if not outright criminal. > > YOU ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for financial messes your mother gets herself into; > she is an adult. She is responsible for her own self, her own finances and > her own words and behaviors and choices. > > Its not OK to ask your adult child to help you commit criminal acts. > Period. End of sentence. > > " No, mom. I'm sorry, but that's simply not going to work for me. I don't > want to get mixed up in tax fraud. " > > -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. > She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public > dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's > trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, > and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the > state will find it and take away her benefits. > > > > > > > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 7, 2011 Report Share Posted October 7, 2011 Just say " No! " Please, don't do what she wants. Nothing good comes from telling lies to the government. If she inherited any significant amount of money, the government is going to find out about it if she's in the US. Banks have to report transfers of large amounts of money. Owning a reasonable car doesn't cause you to lose most benefits in most places as far as I know. Obtaining the money with which to buy the car is usually the problem, not owning it. If she bought a fancy car that's worth a lot of money, that might be a problem too where some benefits are concerned, but if so putting it in your name might count as illegally disposing of assets. It might also count as fraud if the car ends up registered at your address and she lives in a different location. Besides the fact that it isn't likely to hide the inheritence from the government, putting the car in your name makes it your responsibility. You'd have to provide insurance for it, you'd have to make sure it gets whatever inspections are required and is maintained to be safe, you'd be responsible for registration fees and taxes, and you'd be responsible for things like tickets given by automated camera systems and any damage she caused with it. At 03:01 PM 10/07/2011 Ambertolina wrote: >Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too >much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is >living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came >into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from >the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking >if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state >will find it and take away her benefits. > >What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2011 Report Share Posted October 8, 2011 So I told my husband. Asked him not to flip out before I told him. He remained calm, and just said that no, there's absolutely no way we're going to do that. She must have come to her senses somewhat because she called back later (we were out) and left a message saying that she could probably figure something else out and that she wouldn't bother my brother. The thing that really chaps my ass is that just last week, I gave her $500 for new glasses because she claims she's blown the inheritance. Which she may very well have done, because it wasn't much; she'd been bleeding her own nada dry for years. She did buy a very sensible, inexpensive car. She wrecked her old one several years ago and was bumming rides from everyone. At least I got through this with just a few hours of anxiety. Usually this kind of crap ruins my whole week. > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2011 Report Share Posted October 9, 2011 I love the other responses. You have the legal ramifications to face if you give in to her demands. You have to answer to her every time she has a question or problem with the title, insurance, tags related to the car. I will echo what everyone else said: just say no. I would caution you against making any excuses as to why you can't do this. She'll just argue against you. It's like a parent telling a teen s/he can't go to a party. They'll whine and ask why. If you try to reason with them, it opens the door to arguments and negotiations. There are none in this case. She chose to buy the car; she is solely responsible for it and anything else related to the purchase. If she has problems, she can contact an accountant or lawyer. Please don't get sucked into this. My nada is losing her marbles (age 83) but I refuse to have her doctor declare her incompetent so I can have power of attorney. I do NOT want to be responsible for her finances because she'll bitch about every dollar and bill she doesn't understand. She's already angry at the bank because she doesn't understand how to balance her monthly statement. She's angry at the Navy because she thinks they took her savings (they send her statements but she doesn't realize what they are). She gets mad at the phone company because she can't figure out how to use her phone (yes, she really called them and blamed them). You can see how messy things can get if you get involved in anything financial. > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 9, 2011 Report Share Posted October 9, 2011 No, no, no! I am sure others here have already said this, but this can't be said enough! Nada's ask us to take responsibility for their 'stuff' because they are irresponsible, lack common sense and above all want to ENTRAP US in their lives--wrapped up so tight we can't get away. These 'favors' asked are always presented as 'little things' we can do to help poor, pitiful them. These 'favors' often involve convoluted explanations, possible illegal activity and an assurance 'they bear all responsibility' YEAH, RIGHT! If you agree, you'll be lucky to get out of the situation without requiring professional advice. She's a grown up--she needs to handle her own finances and the consequences derived from managing them (just like the rest of us grown ups!) > > Just got a call from Nada. Trying not to let it get to me too much. She's a hermit/waif who hasn't worked in years and is living off the public dole. Her nada recently died and she came into a little money which she's trying desperately to hide from the government. She bought herself a car, and now she's asking if she can put it in my name because she's afraid the state will find it and take away her benefits. > > What are the implications for me? I can't even think right now. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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