Guest guest Posted October 8, 2011 Report Share Posted October 8, 2011 Hi, , It is common for siblings of BPD parents to have trouble relating to one another. Parents with BPD often split the children (golden child/scapegoat), and pit them against each other, or triangulate so that they are the hub of all communications between siblings. Sometimes the messages we learn from our parents about our siblings takes a while to un-learn. Is any of that present in your situation? As far as using this site to answer that question, probably the best thing to do is start a post and ask a question. Members will usually chime in when something resonates with them or if they can relate somehow to what you've written. You can also use the search feature toward the top of the board. Relationships with siblings is a frequently-discussed topic here. Hope this board is able to provide you with needed support. Sveta > > Hi, > > I'm new to this site and not sure how to get the most out of it. What I am looking for specifically is support around my relationship with my sister. She and I grew up together isolated with a borderline mother. > > Neither of us have contact with our mother at this point, but we still have trouble with each other as a result of our childhoods, though we are not borderline. Mostly we both are dealing with the fallout of traumatic childhoods which has effected us each differently but to the point that we can barely communicate with each other. > > How can I use this site to explore this issue? > > Thank you for your help. > > Regards, > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2011 Report Share Posted October 8, 2011 Just saw your subsequent thread. Looks like you've figured it out ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 8, 2011 Report Share Posted October 8, 2011 Hi Sveta, Thanks for engaging with me on this. Yeah, there is some of that going on in our situation. I was the bad kid, the one who broke the rules and broke from our nada early. She was the good kid, who followed the rules and tried to be loyal to nada most of the time. There was pretty much always a triangle on the go created by nada and I was virtually always the odd one out. I did try to protect my sister at various points, especially when we were much younger and nada was really suicidal and not functioning and then again when we were much older and I had achieved some awareness of the situation. In between, however, I have to admit that I was pretty darn self absorbed and then caught up surviving, escaping and making a life for myself. Because earlier I had been the closest thing to a parent/protector/companion that she had, I think it was really, really hard on her when I turned my back (from her perspective). I feel really bad about it now. And I think it contributed to her present day difficulty trusting anyone. I was another person who failed her. A couple of years ago, our nada cut her off. She's been going through some tough stuff since then. She shuts me out of it. It is not at all easy for her to be vulnerable. There is more to the story of course. Can you relate to any of this from your experiences? What are your thoughts about what I have explained so far. (I do intend to follow your procedure to make myself anonymous; just haven't had the chance yet) Thanks again, S. ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Saturday, October 8, 2011 11:46:53 AM Subject: re:no subject  Hi, , It is common for siblings of BPD parents to have trouble relating to one another. Parents with BPD often split the children (golden child/scapegoat), and pit them against each other, or triangulate so that they are the hub of all communications between siblings. Sometimes the messages we learn from our parents about our siblings takes a while to un-learn. Is any of that present in your situation? As far as using this site to answer that question, probably the best thing to do is start a post and ask a question. Members will usually chime in when something resonates with them or if they can relate somehow to what you've written. You can also use the search feature toward the top of the board. Relationships with siblings is a frequently-discussed topic here. Hope this board is able to provide you with needed support. Sveta > > Hi, > > I'm new to this site and not sure how to get the most out of it. What I am looking for specifically is support around my relationship with my sister. She and I grew up together isolated with a borderline mother. > > Neither of us have contact with our mother at this point, but we still have trouble with each other as a result of our childhoods, though we are not borderline. Mostly we both are dealing with the fallout of traumatic childhoods which has effected us each differently but to the point that we can barely communicate with each other. > > How can I use this site to explore this issue? > > Thank you for your help. > > Regards, > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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