Nada's therapist said she is cuered!

[Guest guest]

I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

" How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have been in

therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released me. She feels I

have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with you was not obsession

with who you are or trying to control you, it was an obsession with your

happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our relationship she

realized several points that showed less of a control issue and more of a guilt

issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger issue and rightly so. "

This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1 1/2 years. I

felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling her something was wrong

with her and just be a comfort and tell her what she wanted to hear. Done with

therapy? I will never be done with therapy and she's the crazy one. So I

replied in anger, asking if it was her " obsession with my happiness " that made

her threaten to kill herself when my husband and I didn't move in with her to

take care of her. Yea that would have worked! I needed to share with you guys.

Thank you for always being here,

Em

[Guest guest]

YUCK

> **

>

>

> I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

>

> " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have been in

> therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released me. She feels

> I have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with you was not

> obsession with who you are or trying to control you, it was an obsession

> with your happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our

> relationship she realized several points that showed less of a control issue

> and more of a guilt issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger issue and

> rightly so. "

>

> This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1 1/2

> years. I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling her

> something was wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her what she

> wanted to hear. Done with therapy? I will never be done with therapy and

> she's the crazy one. So I replied in anger, asking if it was her " obsession

> with my happiness " that made her threaten to kill herself when my husband

> and I didn't move in with her to take care of her. Yea that would have

> worked! I needed to share with you guys.

>

> Thank you for always being here,

> Em

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

If the T really said that, and she probably didn't, she was wrong! If she

were cured she wouldn't approach it that way at all. Nada slap!!!

On Mon, Oct 10, 2011 at 5:47 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> YUCK

>

>

>

>

>> **

>>

>>

>> I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

>>

>> " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have been

>> in therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released me. She

>> feels I have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with you was not

>> obsession with who you are or trying to control you, it was an obsession

>> with your happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our

>> relationship she realized several points that showed less of a control issue

>> and more of a guilt issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger issue and

>> rightly so. "

>>

>> This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1 1/2

>> years. I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling her

>> something was wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her what she

>> wanted to hear. Done with therapy? I will never be done with therapy and

>> she's the crazy one. So I replied in anger, asking if it was her " obsession

>> with my happiness " that made her threaten to kill herself when my husband

>> and I didn't move in with her to take care of her. Yea that would have

>> worked! I needed to share with you guys.

>>

>> Thank you for always being here,

>> Em

>>

>>

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sometimes a T will terminate the relationship when the patient simply is not

willing to participate or do the necessary work, saying something like, " I don't

see that that there is anything I can do for you at this point. "

Also, never trust that a T said what he said unless you hear it straight from

his mouth. Nadas will twist it all around to mean only what they want it to

mean.

You are right not to trust her.

Sveta

>

> I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

>

> " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have been in

therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released me. She feels I

have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with you was not obsession

with who you are or trying to control you, it was an obsession with your

happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our relationship she

realized several points that showed less of a control issue and more of a guilt

issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger issue and rightly so. "

>

> This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1 1/2 years.

I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling her something was

wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her what she wanted to hear. Done

with therapy? I will never be done with therapy and she's the crazy one. So I

replied in anger, asking if it was her " obsession with my happiness " that made

her threaten to kill herself when my husband and I didn't move in with her to

take care of her. Yea that would have worked! I needed to share with you guys.

>

> Thank you for always being here,

> Em

>

[Guest guest]

my mother shops around for therapists that suit her. so far none have - the one

who diagnosed her with BPD and who told us, she threatened him over the

telephone and frightened him to the point he called us kids for help. These BPDs

are crazy people. If I were a therapist, I wouldn't even take them on. They are

a nuisance. I wouldn't believe anything your Mom says unless I hear it from the

therapist herself. In my opinion, a therapist is a good one if they tell the

truth to the patient, and also I would ask what experience they have with

treating BPD specifically. Not any old family therapist will do. Some only mess

things up further.

N

>

> Sometimes a T will terminate the relationship when the patient simply is not

willing to participate or do the necessary work, saying something like, " I don't

see that that there is anything I can do for you at this point. "

>

> Also, never trust that a T said what he said unless you hear it straight from

his mouth. Nadas will twist it all around to mean only what they want it to

mean.

>

> You are right not to trust her.

>

> Sveta

>

> >

> > I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

> >

> > " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have been in

therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released me. She feels I

have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with you was not obsession

with who you are or trying to control you, it was an obsession with your

happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our relationship she

realized several points that showed less of a control issue and more of a guilt

issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger issue and rightly so. "

> >

> > This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1 1/2

years. I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling her something

was wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her what she wanted to hear.

Done with therapy? I will never be done with therapy and she's the crazy one. So

I replied in anger, asking if it was her " obsession with my happiness " that made

her threaten to kill herself when my husband and I didn't move in with her to

take care of her. Yea that would have worked! I needed to share with you guys.

> >

> > Thank you for always being here,

> > Em

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

To re iterate what others have said as well, never beleive anything

Nada tells you that someone else says. That is a sound general

principle, but applies in particular to Therapists or Physicians. Acid

test, if you are willing and interested enough to find out, " Great Mom.

I d like to discuss a few things and hear for myself from your ( T, Dr,

ect). Will you give them permission to discuss your treatment with me?

Once you do, I ll pay for an appointment and talk to them live. Maybe

we can make some headway on our issues then.

I ll give you long odds she will never, ever, allow you to talk to any

healthcare professional about her. She will gaslight, put herself in

the best light, and hear, and act upon, what she decides to do. In

short, she ll lie like a dog.

I ve never heard of a T saying , You re cured, get out of here! You

seem to have this under control, and I don t think you need to see me

again, unless you feel the need would be the more likely way of

terminating therapy.

" You have gone as far as possible, is more likely, I don t feel we are

making any headway, you are not responding to therapy, or following my

suggestions, and you are way too needy and demanding. I cannot give you

the amount of time you demand without neglecting my other pts, and I m

frankly wasting my time treating you. I m going to terminate our

relationship. I ll be happy to send your records to another T should

you find one and resume therapy. "

Notice a few things? The therapist told her she had an obsession with

you, Nada colored it to make her the super mother and victim. "

Obsessed with your happiness " Bullshit. I only did it for you, dear,

says Nada as she F* & ^ s you again.

I had issues with guilt and anger, but not with control, heaven forbid!

So, of course I m not going to lead by apologizing for my FOG

manipulations of you all your life, I m going to lead with a new set.

Fear: Therapist has released me after 2 years, I ve gone as far as I can

go.Coming from a Nada who uses suicidal ideations, this is a subtle fear

jab. She does not say, My T released me and says I m doing much better.

Obligation: My obsession was with your happiness, dived deeply and

painfully,

Guilt : How are you coming on your intense anger and hatred of me

Yea, that s Nada.

Doug

> >

> >> **

> >>

> >>

> >> I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

> >>

> >> " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have

been

> >> in therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released

me. She

> >> feels I have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with

you was not

> >> obsession with who you are or trying to control you, it was an

obsession

> >> with your happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our

> >> relationship she realized several points that showed less of a

control issue

> >> and more of a guilt issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger

issue and

> >> rightly so. "

> >>

> >> This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1

1/2

> >> years. I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling

her

> >> something was wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her

what she

> >> wanted to hear. Done with therapy? I will never be done with

therapy and

> >> she's the crazy one. So I replied in anger, asking if it was her

" obsession

> >> with my happiness " that made her threaten to kill herself when my

husband

> >> and I didn't move in with her to take care of her. Yea that would

have

> >> worked! I needed to share with you guys.

> >>

> >> Thank you for always being here,

> >> Em

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

agreed. Been dealing with this for years, to add on to her issues, my nada is

jewish, talk about guilt! Its taken me almost 40 years to realize I do have a

right ot exist on this earth taking up space

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Tuesday, October 11, 2011 10:08 AM

Subject: Re: Nada's therapist said she is cuered!

Â

To re iterate what others have said as well, never beleive anything

Nada tells you that someone else says. That is a sound general

principle, but applies in particular to Therapists or Physicians. Acid

test, if you are willing and interested enough to find out, " Great Mom.

I d like to discuss a few things and hear for myself from your ( T, Dr,

ect). Will you give them permission to discuss your treatment with me?

Once you do, I ll pay for an appointment and talk to them live. Maybe

we can make some headway on our issues then.

I ll give you long odds she will never, ever, allow you to talk to any

healthcare professional about her. She will gaslight, put herself in

the best light, and hear, and act upon, what she decides to do. In

short, she ll lie like a dog.

I ve never heard of a T saying , You re cured, get out of here! You

seem to have this under control, and I don t think you need to see me

again, unless you feel the need would be the more likely way of

terminating therapy.

" You have gone as far as possible, is more likely, I don t feel we are

making any headway, you are not responding to therapy, or following my

suggestions, and you are way too needy and demanding. I cannot give you

the amount of time you demand without neglecting my other pts, and I m

frankly wasting my time treating you. I m going to terminate our

relationship. I ll be happy to send your records to another T should

you find one and resume therapy. "

Notice a few things? The therapist told her she had an obsession with

you, Nada colored it to make her the super mother and victim. "

Obsessed with your happiness " Bullshit. I only did it for you, dear,

says Nada as she F* & ^ s you again.

I had issues with guilt and anger, but not with control, heaven forbid!

So, of course I m not going to lead by apologizing for my FOG

manipulations of you all your life, I m going to lead with a new set.

Fear: Therapist has released me after 2 years, I ve gone as far as I can

go.Coming from a Nada who uses suicidal ideations, this is a subtle fear

jab. She does not say, My T released me and says I m doing much better.

Obligation: My obsession was with your happiness, dived deeply and

painfully,

Guilt : How are you coming on your intense anger and hatred of me

Yea, that s Nada.

Doug

> >

> >> **

> >>

> >>

> >> I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

> >>

> >> " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have

been

> >> in therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released

me. She

> >> feels I have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with

you was not

> >> obsession with who you are or trying to control you, it was an

obsession

> >> with your happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our

> >> relationship she realized several points that showed less of a

control issue

> >> and more of a guilt issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger

issue and

> >> rightly so. "

> >>

> >> This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1

1/2

> >> years. I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling

her

> >> something was wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her

what she

> >> wanted to hear. Done with therapy? I will never be done with

therapy and

> >> she's the crazy one. So I replied in anger, asking if it was her

" obsession

> >> with my happiness " that made her threaten to kill herself when my

husband

> >> and I didn't move in with her to take care of her. Yea that would

have

> >> worked! I needed to share with you guys.

> >>

> >> Thank you for always being here,

> >> Em

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Em! I have nothing new to offer, but want to chime in. My mom went into

psychological treatment at one time, and used it as a ploy for competition.

Like, " See? I don't need it anymore faster than you, tee-hee! " Us smart guys

and gals know that therapy isn't about competition, but it was uber-annoying to

put up with. Since then, she has been able to admit that the problems that she

has therapy couldn't help her out with but that's about it.

But yeah, I believe when therapists realize what they're up against, and again,

one has to be highly skilled in order to help this kind of disorder, saying that

they've gone as far as they are going to go, is kind of waving the white flag,

but how that is perceived is open to broad interpretation. My aunt still

proudly states when her therapist said the same about her. " I don't need

therapy! " while she crashes her bull through the china shop year after year.

Especially given that I've been in it for over 20 years and have no intention of

ending it.

Arghh, yeah, it's annoying!

Take it easy, Amy

>

> I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

>

> " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have been in

therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released me. She feels I

have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with you was not obsession

with who you are or trying to control you, it was an obsession with your

happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our relationship she

realized several points that showed less of a control issue and more of a guilt

issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger issue and rightly so. "

>

> This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1 1/2 years.

I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling her something was

wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her what she wanted to hear. Done

with therapy? I will never be done with therapy and she's the crazy one. So I

replied in anger, asking if it was her " obsession with my happiness " that made

her threaten to kill herself when my husband and I didn't move in with her to

take care of her. Yea that would have worked! I needed to share with you guys.

>

> Thank you for always being here,

> Em

>

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I have been a member of several support Groups for the adult children of

mentally ill, personality-disordered parents for years now, and it seems to be a

pretty common behavior for the pd parent to hop around from one therapist to

another, to another, to another until she finds one who will not address the

core issue of personality disorder and will instead reinforce nada's view of

herself as a tragic victim who only suffers from an Axis I disorder (depression,

anxiety, etc.) which she has because she is the victim of her nasty, hateful

family.

The therapists who bring up the issues of taking responsibility for our own

words and deeds, for becoming aware of doing things like projecting and blaming,

for learning to recognize and manage dysregulated emotions, etc.... those

therapists get dropped.

And yes, I think its also common for someone with personality disorder to hear

and interpret: " I have taken you as far as I can in therapy " or " I can't treat

you any longer because its been two years and your insurance has run out " as

" You are now cured. "

I agree that its not wise to accept anything nada claims is true without getting

corroboration from the source, or from more than one source.

-Annie

>

> I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

>

> " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have been in

therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released me. She feels I

have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with you was not obsession

with who you are or trying to control you, it was an obsession with your

happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our relationship she

realized several points that showed less of a control issue and more of a guilt

issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger issue and rightly so. "

>

> This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1 1/2 years.

I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling her something was

wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her what she wanted to hear. Done

with therapy? I will never be done with therapy and she's the crazy one. So I

replied in anger, asking if it was her " obsession with my happiness " that made

her threaten to kill herself when my husband and I didn't move in with her to

take care of her. Yea that would have worked! I needed to share with you guys.

>

> Thank you for always being here,

> Em

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, thank you everyone. My favorite thing about this site is that so many

things about my Nada are present with all of you and it makes me feel so good

because I am no longer alone. Thank you all!

> >

> > I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

> >

> > " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have been in

therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released me. She feels I

have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with you was not obsession

with who you are or trying to control you, it was an obsession with your

happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our relationship she

realized several points that showed less of a control issue and more of a guilt

issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger issue and rightly so. "

> >

> > This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1 1/2

years. I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling her something

was wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her what she wanted to hear.

Done with therapy? I will never be done with therapy and she's the crazy one.

So I replied in anger, asking if it was her " obsession with my happiness " that

made her threaten to kill herself when my husband and I didn't move in with her

to take care of her. Yea that would have worked! I needed to share with you

guys.

> >

> > Thank you for always being here,

> > Em

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Don't believe a word. In fact, the way this letter starts out: with a jab at you

(Translation: how are YOU dealing with YOUR anger that I have had to suffer

through ... oh, poor, poor me), followed by the idea that she was always just

obsessed with your happiness (see, once again, you have misunderstood me; i want

what's right for you? I want you to be happy, can't you see, I have done nothing

wrong?) ... is classic borderline yucky, oozy crap!

What I am astonished at (and many of you probably have this experience often on

this board), is that this message sounds like my mother could have written it.

But then again, this is the children of borderlines group!

CF

>

> I got this e-mail from my Nada, she writes:

>

> " How are you coming on your intense anger and dislike of me? I have been in

therapy for almost two years and my therapist has now released me. She feels I

have gone as far as possible. She says my obsession with you was not obsession

with who you are or trying to control you, it was an obsession with your

happiness. As we dived so deeply and painfully into our relationship she

realized several points that showed less of a control issue and more of a guilt

issue. She also kicked my butt on the anger issue and rightly so. "

>

> This is therapist number 5 in those two year, which are actually 1 1/2 years.

I felt she was looking for someone who would stop telling her something was

wrong with her and just be a comfort and tell her what she wanted to hear. Done

with therapy? I will never be done with therapy and she's the crazy one. So I

replied in anger, asking if it was her " obsession with my happiness " that made

her threaten to kill herself when my husband and I didn't move in with her to

take care of her. Yea that would have worked! I needed to share with you guys.

>

> Thank you for always being here,

> Em

>