When I was 19...

October 17, 2011

Nada was a dream-squasher. She squashed every dream I ever had. I had

wanted to go on into music education when I was 17, after graduating high

school, & be a high school music/band teacher. She forbade it, making me

turn down a huge scholarship & everything. She wouldn't even let me go on to

college for the longest time, but finally she did.

Then, when I was 19, I wanted to be a nurse.

" You? A NURSE??!! *heh* I wouldn't let *YOU* take care of my dog, let alone

ME! Dammit, Mia. You're too stupid to be a nurse. " That was nada's

response. So, I stuck my tail between my legs & called the school to tell

them I had " changed my mind " .

14 years later.... October 20, 2011...

I had a gigantically huge comprehensive state-board-like exam today. I'm in

my externship of the nursing program... aka, my last class.

I am on cloud 9 right now. I have worked my ass off throughout this program

and have enjoyed every minute of it, and today on that exam... I got a 99%.

And I will be graduating my program with a 4.0/4.0 GPA.

No, I'm not perfect nor am I striving to be. I am NOT a know it all, I have

SO VERY MUCH that I need to learn, and that I WANT to learn! But as I sit

here & write this, I almost wish for one brief moment I was not NC with nada

so I could shove my transcripts in her face. Not that it would do any good.

But for one brief moment, it might feel good.

" Too stupid " , huh? Well, nada, I beg to differ. I did it, and I will go

out to be a good nurse after I pass my boards and hopefully eventually

become a great nurse.

So in some weird, twisted way... I also have to say thanks to my nada.

Because those words... well, they motivated me to some *small* degree on

this journey. So thanks, nada. I'm so very glad I could prove you wrong and

more importantly prove to myself that you were wrong.

Please consider this post as a catharsis. Because it is cleansing and good

to be able to know the truth & see myself as I really am instead of how nada

tried to shape & mold me.

Mia

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