Is there a summary list of the popular techniques...

[Guest guest]

.... used by the BPD in manipulations? some examples being gift giving and its

innuendos; display or not of photos; and, the hypochondriac nature or

exaggerated involvement in the health care of a family member.

the reason i am asking is that after a 5 year period of being in a no contact

situation, nada has now searched & initiated contact (against our wishes) with

our child (her grandchild) that went to college this fall.

in addition to assessing what type of relationship our child may want to have

with nada, my husband and i would like to take time to explain some of the

common techniques (with examples) that can be indicative of the roller-coaster

ride. our intent is to help inform our child as best we can to help them make

an educated decision both now and going forward.

i am very overwhelmed about how to communicate the situation in a succinct

enough manner that doesn't underestimate the insidious nature of nada's

patterns. she is 70 and has A LOT of experience while i am only 5 years into

having identified the root of our issues. it is very important to me that i am

able to both share my concerns and simultaneously be able to articulate the

legitimacy of these concerns.

i have the book by Mason & Kreger available to me and reread it to help with

this situation. any advice is much appreciated!

[Guest guest]

My usual approach is to keep things as simple and uncomplicated as possible.

Why give your son abstract examples when you can give him really personal

examples of your nada's negative, abusive behaviors from your own life? Why not

just tell him the truth?

Share whatever your life experiences with nada have been like, and how her

behaviors have impacted you. Tell your son why you went No Contact.

He is an adult now, old enough to serve in the military and make other adult

decisions for himself. If he's a college student, that means he's fairly

intelligent and motivated to make something of himself; you don't have to

protect him anymore. You've done a good job raising him. So if you simply

share the truth with him about your relationship with your nada and why you went

No Contact with her, and let him make his own decisions based on knowing the

truth, you will be showing respect for his maturity and judgement, and I think

he'll appreciate you for treating him like an adult.

Just my two cent's worth; each of us has to choose what will work best for us,

individually.

Best of luck to you, no matter how you choose to handle this.

-Annie

>

> ... used by the BPD in manipulations? some examples being gift giving and its

innuendos; display or not of photos; and, the hypochondriac nature or

exaggerated involvement in the health care of a family member.

>

> the reason i am asking is that after a 5 year period of being in a no contact

situation, nada has now searched & initiated contact (against our wishes) with

our child (her grandchild) that went to college this fall.

>

> in addition to assessing what type of relationship our child may want to have

with nada, my husband and i would like to take time to explain some of the

common techniques (with examples) that can be indicative of the roller-coaster

ride. our intent is to help inform our child as best we can to help them make

an educated decision both now and going forward.

>

> i am very overwhelmed about how to communicate the situation in a succinct

enough manner that doesn't underestimate the insidious nature of nada's

patterns. she is 70 and has A LOT of experience while i am only 5 years into

having identified the root of our issues. it is very important to me that i am

able to both share my concerns and simultaneously be able to articulate the

legitimacy of these concerns.

>

> i have the book by Mason & Kreger available to me and reread it to help with

this situation. any advice is much appreciated!

>

[Guest guest]

i think you're right, annie, and thank you. i do tend to over complicate and

keeping it real with my experiences sounds like the correct route to take.

> >

> > ... used by the BPD in manipulations? some examples being gift giving and

its innuendos; display or not of photos; and, the hypochondriac nature or

exaggerated involvement in the health care of a family member.

> >

> > the reason i am asking is that after a 5 year period of being in a no

contact situation, nada has now searched & initiated contact (against our

wishes) with our child (her grandchild) that went to college this fall.

> >

> > in addition to assessing what type of relationship our child may want to

have with nada, my husband and i would like to take time to explain some of the

common techniques (with examples) that can be indicative of the roller-coaster

ride. our intent is to help inform our child as best we can to help them make

an educated decision both now and going forward.

> >

> > i am very overwhelmed about how to communicate the situation in a succinct

enough manner that doesn't underestimate the insidious nature of nada's

patterns. she is 70 and has A LOT of experience while i am only 5 years into

having identified the root of our issues. it is very important to me that i am

able to both share my concerns and simultaneously be able to articulate the

legitimacy of these concerns.

> >

> > i have the book by Mason & Kreger available to me and reread it to help with

this situation. any advice is much appreciated!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I would just grab the book Emotional Blackmail, I think it says it all.

People of the Lie is another fantastic one.

> **

>

>

> i think you're right, annie, and thank you. i do tend to over complicate

> and keeping it real with my experiences sounds like the correct route to

> take.

>

>

>

> > >

> > > ... used by the BPD in manipulations? some examples being gift giving

> and its innuendos; display or not of photos; and, the hypochondriac nature

> or exaggerated involvement in the health care of a family member.

> > >

> > > the reason i am asking is that after a 5 year period of being in a no

> contact situation, nada has now searched & initiated contact (against our

> wishes) with our child (her grandchild) that went to college this fall.

> > >

> > > in addition to assessing what type of relationship our child may want

> to have with nada, my husband and i would like to take time to explain some

> of the common techniques (with examples) that can be indicative of the

> roller-coaster ride. our intent is to help inform our child as best we can

> to help them make an educated decision both now and going forward.

> > >

> > > i am very overwhelmed about how to communicate the situation in a

> succinct enough manner that doesn't underestimate the insidious nature of

> nada's patterns. she is 70 and has A LOT of experience while i am only 5

> years into having identified the root of our issues. it is very important to

> me that i am able to both share my concerns and simultaneously be able to

> articulate the legitimacy of these concerns.

> > >

> > > i have the book by Mason & Kreger available to me and reread it to help

> with this situation. any advice is much appreciated!

> > >

> >

>

>

>