Guest guest Posted October 23, 2011 Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 Nada and fada will be in my driveway in 8 hours, set to drive my daughter back up to school. God grant me the serenity . . . to not allow my sadness to turn to bitterness. To not look for hope where none exists. To not be angered by nada's thinly veiled meanness or slights. Or disappointed in my fada's " why can't we just be family " stance in the presence of nada's rage and distortion campaign. I'm reading UTBM--while I feel sorry for her suffering, I am done sacrificing my soul on the altar of her disorder. Wish me luck~ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2011 Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 Good luck (((hugs))) > ** > > > Nada and fada will be in my driveway in 8 hours, set to drive my daughter > back up to school. God grant me the serenity . . . to not allow my sadness > to turn to bitterness. To not look for hope where none exists. To not be > angered by nada's thinly veiled meanness or slights. Or disappointed in my > fada's " why can't we just be family " stance in the presence of nada's rage > and distortion campaign. > > I'm reading UTBM--while I feel sorry for her suffering, I am done > sacrificing my soul on the altar of her disorder. Wish me luck~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2011 Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 You can do it!!! On Sun, Oct 23, 2011 at 5:26 AM, Holly Lipschultz < hollymichellebyers@...> wrote: > Good luck (((hugs))) > > On Sun, Oct 23, 2011 at 2:03 AM, echobabe_is_free > wrote: > > > ** > > > > > > Nada and fada will be in my driveway in 8 hours, set to drive my daughter > > back up to school. God grant me the serenity . . . to not allow my > sadness > > to turn to bitterness. To not look for hope where none exists. To not be > > angered by nada's thinly veiled meanness or slights. Or disappointed in > my > > fada's " why can't we just be family " stance in the presence of nada's > rage > > and distortion campaign. > > > > I'm reading UTBM--while I feel sorry for her suffering, I am done > > sacrificing my soul on the altar of her disorder. Wish me luck~ > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2011 Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 If this is something that your daughter has asked for and wants, and her grand-nada and grand-fada aren't mean to her and are not trying to manipulate her (they don't try to turn her away from you by buying her loyalty with lavish gifts) then, I do wish you peace and healing over this. Its very selfless and adult of you to allow your bpd parents time with your child if they are not harmful to her. That turn of phrase: " sacrifice my soul on the altar of her disorder " is so very appropriate. I think that is what a lot of the books about coping with family members with bpd seem to have as their underlying message, that the non-pd members are somehow just supposed to suck it up and take the abuse. Well... that's simply not fair, sez I. Is there a way that you could say goodbye to your daughter and send her outside to her grandparents car without you interacting with them at all? You say your goodbyes ahead of time and maybe you're not even there when they arrive? Just an option to consider. If you feel that you must interact with them in order to be polite (for your daughter's sake) then I guess " Medium Chill " is about your only option. Best of luck to you, fellow KO. -Annie > > Nada and fada will be in my driveway in 8 hours, set to drive my daughter back up to school. God grant me the serenity . . . to not allow my sadness to turn to bitterness. To not look for hope where none exists. To not be angered by nada's thinly veiled meanness or slights. Or disappointed in my fada's " why can't we just be family " stance in the presence of nada's rage and distortion campaign. > > I'm reading UTBM--while I feel sorry for her suffering, I am done sacrificing my soul on the altar of her disorder. Wish me luck~ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 Hi Echo, I'm sending you strength and support. Your daughter and nada may have gone on to her school by now...I hope it went ok. Hugs, Fiona > > Nada and fada will be in my driveway in 8 hours, set to drive my daughter back up to school. God grant me the serenity . . . to not allow my sadness to turn to bitterness. To not look for hope where none exists. To not be angered by nada's thinly veiled meanness or slights. Or disappointed in my fada's " why can't we just be family " stance in the presence of nada's rage and distortion campaign. > > I'm reading UTBM--while I feel sorry for her suffering, I am done sacrificing my soul on the altar of her disorder. Wish me luck~ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 Just a quick follow up - all your good thoughts and well wishes helped me maintain medium chill. I did not even lift a finger to polish the house. To my surprise, they BOTH came to the door. They accepted coffee and sat in my kitchen for 20 mins. Nada was extremely calm and 'open' acting. She was either on valium OR was buffered by the fact my Fada was barely willing to look/speak to me. Cold, he was. Medium chill was my best friend. Did I secretly enjoy the fact that one of the ways into my neighborhood was blocked? Oh yeah! If they called me I would have told them in advance--I was not going to call them like some codependent good girl. I even invited them to my Thanksgiving table, but I don't really care if they come or not--I offered only for my children who asked me if they could be included. Nada will not be controlling any of the day, and any challenge from her will be nipped in the bud. I plan to supply a glass or two of wine to keep her horns at bay (a little tranquilizes her, more than that brings out the mean). > > Nada and fada will be in my driveway in 8 hours, set to drive my daughter back up to school. God grant me the serenity . . . to not allow my sadness to turn to bitterness. To not look for hope where none exists. To not be angered by nada's thinly veiled meanness or slights. Or disappointed in my fada's " why can't we just be family " stance in the presence of nada's rage and distortion campaign. > > I'm reading UTBM--while I feel sorry for her suffering, I am done sacrificing my soul on the altar of her disorder. Wish me luck~ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 I'm glad it went well!! Ugh, my dad was like that, too. I miss him but I don't miss that about him, that on and off coldness. Good for you for keeping the medium chill going! So your kids like your parents? My kids like my mother but in small doses. My older daughter says she's naggy and doesn't like how she interrogates her (my daughter). My little one says she loves nana but she can be strange sometimes. Ah, wisdom of youth!! > > > > Nada and fada will be in my driveway in 8 hours, set to drive my daughter back up to school. God grant me the serenity . . . to not allow my sadness to turn to bitterness. To not look for hope where none exists. To not be angered by nada's thinly veiled meanness or slights. Or disappointed in my fada's " why can't we just be family " stance in the presence of nada's rage and distortion campaign. > > > > I'm reading UTBM--while I feel sorry for her suffering, I am done sacrificing my soul on the altar of her disorder. Wish me luck~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2011 Report Share Posted October 25, 2011 My kids are at an age-lol! My daughter (21) is very nurturing and doesn't like to argue with anyone. She gets confused by her g-nada's actions some times, but she mirrors people beautifully and so they feel validated. My daughter is the all-good, and a psych major so she really gets BPD. My son is another story. He's 19--everything *I* think is wrong stage. G-nada has always painted him black. He keeps looking for the magic key that will make his grandparents love him best. Every so often they throw him a few crumbs. We have talked about this forever, until he *became a man* and won't talk to mom about his feelings any more. OK--I recognize that hard head--some lessons need to be learned on their own. > > So your kids like your parents? My kids like my mother but in small doses. My older daughter says she's naggy and doesn't like how she interrogates her (my daughter). My little one says she loves nana but she can be strange sometimes. > > Ah, wisdom of youth!! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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