Guest guest Posted October 22, 2011 Report Share Posted October 22, 2011 Hi All. I found this place by chance while searching for affirmations for abused people. My mom is an undiagnosed borderline. Well, she's been diagnosed by me, my therapist, my friends who are therapists, and anyone who is psychologically intuiative and has had the pleasure of witnessing her behavior. I'm an adult child currently living back home and today was just another fabulous day with the midget (mother). This afternoon I went to throw something in the garbage can out back and when I returned to the back door I found she had locked me out purposely. I knocked and asked her to let me come in. She said she wouldn't until I agreed to be " good. " I kept knocking and telling her that I did not want to go to the neighbors house to call the police. (this is a first because no one in our family has ever called the police on her even though we had justification) I went to the neighbor's house choked up with tears and asked to use their phone. Then I went back to my house, sat on the front porch shaking and crying while waiting for the police. Another neighbor pulled up in front of the house and asked if I was okay. All I could say was " She locked me out. " The moment my mother saw my neighbor she openened up the door and started telling her I was horrible and that I was divorced twice. I kept telling my neighbor in a low voice to please leave and it's okay. The neighbor wanted to stay because she something was not right but I asked her again and she left. I'm grateful for her kindess. Well, the cops never came and I spent the afternoon crying and in pain all the while trying to get back to normal life. She can switch on and off but I feel the ache and emotions for some time afterwards. Thanks for letting me share. Today was just another day in paradise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 23, 2011 Report Share Posted October 23, 2011 Welcome to the group EC (for eclectic chic!) You've found a bunch of other people who understand what its like to have a mentally ill, personality-disordered parent. It truly is a worst-case scenario when an adult child finds herself or himself financially dependent again on a bpd parent and forced to live with daily emotional abuse. I hope for your sake that you can soon find a way to be self-supporting again so you can move out and not have to put up with that kind of cruel and shaming treatment. Being treated with blatant or covert contempt by a parent or parents is murder on one's self-esteem and can even be traumatizing (cause real psychological damage) over the long haul. I also hope you have access to a therapist who can give you some in-person validation and emotional support. In any case, welcome. You'll get emotional support and validation from fellow Adult Kids of BPD Parents here (aka " KOs " ). -Annie > > Hi All. I found this place by chance while searching for affirmations for abused people. > > My mom is an undiagnosed borderline. Well, she's been diagnosed by me, my therapist, my friends who are therapists, and anyone who is psychologically intuiative and has had the pleasure of witnessing her behavior. > > I'm an adult child currently living back home and today was just another fabulous day with the midget (mother). > > This afternoon I went to throw something in the garbage can out back and when I returned to the back door I found she had locked me out purposely. I knocked and asked her to let me come in. She said she wouldn't until I agreed to be " good. " I kept knocking and telling her that I did not want to go to the neighbors house to call the police. (this is a first because no one in our family has ever called the police on her even though we had justification) > > I went to the neighbor's house choked up with tears and asked to use their phone. Then I went back to my house, sat on the front porch shaking and crying while waiting for the police. Another neighbor pulled up in front of the house and asked if I was okay. All I could say was " She locked me out. " The moment my mother saw my neighbor she openened up the door and started telling her I was horrible and that I was divorced twice. I kept telling my neighbor in a low voice to please leave and it's okay. The neighbor wanted to stay because she something was not right but I asked her again and she left. I'm grateful for her kindess. > > Well, the cops never came and I spent the afternoon crying and in pain all the while trying to get back to normal life. She can switch on and off but I feel the ache and emotions for some time afterwards. > > Thanks for letting me share. > > Today was just another day in paradise. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I'm kinda of in the same position but living in a house nada owns and every time she imagines she's been slighted she threatens to sell it (very upsetting to my 7 year old). I'm a tramp & slut because my husband left me and after two years have found love again. We just have to face we're never going to make them happy, and we have to stop expectng them to act rationally because they can't.  good luck. ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Sunday, October 23, 2011 9:21 PM Subject: Re: Newbie  Welcome to the group EC (for eclectic chic!) You've found a bunch of other people who understand what its like to have a mentally ill, personality-disordered parent. It truly is a worst-case scenario when an adult child finds herself or himself financially dependent again on a bpd parent and forced to live with daily emotional abuse. I hope for your sake that you can soon find a way to be self-supporting again so you can move out and not have to put up with that kind of cruel and shaming treatment. Being treated with blatant or covert contempt by a parent or parents is murder on one's self-esteem and can even be traumatizing (cause real psychological damage) over the long haul. I also hope you have access to a therapist who can give you some in-person validation and emotional support. In any case, welcome. You'll get emotional support and validation from fellow Adult Kids of BPD Parents here (aka " KOs " ). -Annie > > Hi All. I found this place by chance while searching for affirmations for abused people. > > My mom is an undiagnosed borderline. Well, she's been diagnosed by me, my therapist, my friends who are therapists, and anyone who is psychologically intuiative and has had the pleasure of witnessing her behavior. > > I'm an adult child currently living back home and today was just another fabulous day with the midget (mother). > > This afternoon I went to throw something in the garbage can out back and when I returned to the back door I found she had locked me out purposely. I knocked and asked her to let me come in. She said she wouldn't until I agreed to be " good. " I kept knocking and telling her that I did not want to go to the neighbors house to call the police. (this is a first because no one in our family has ever called the police on her even though we had justification) > > I went to the neighbor's house choked up with tears and asked to use their phone. Then I went back to my house, sat on the front porch shaking and crying while waiting for the police. Another neighbor pulled up in front of the house and asked if I was okay. All I could say was " She locked me out. " The moment my mother saw my neighbor she openened up the door and started telling her I was horrible and that I was divorced twice. I kept telling my neighbor in a low voice to please leave and it's okay. The neighbor wanted to stay because she something was not right but I asked her again and she left. I'm grateful for her kindess. > > Well, the cops never came and I spent the afternoon crying and in pain all the while trying to get back to normal life. She can switch on and off but I feel the ache and emotions for some time afterwards. > > Thanks for letting me share. > > Today was just another day in paradise. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 Hi EC! <hugs> I am so sorry you are dealing with this type of mother and have to live with her right now. Until you can move out, try to protect yourself physical safety as much as you can--even if it means wearing a house key around your neck 24/7 and strapping on a cell phone. But just like baby-proofing a house, there are always new ways they figure out to get to us. While you are enduring this situation, just remember the anger and hatred she projects at you is NOT BECAUSE OF YOU. These are her feelings deep down about herself, and her raging is the only way she knows how of expressing herself in her broken, dysfunctional way. You deserve better honey, we all do, but apparently the man upstairs was thinking we were strong enough to be handed this kind of hell. I know it is soul wrenching; please remember you are a wonderful, lovable being. Her sickness is HERS, and does not in any way reflect who you are as a person. She was sick long before you came to be, and any shame belongs to her and her alone. > > Hi All. I found this place by chance while searching for affirmations for abused people. > > My mom is an undiagnosed borderline. Well, she's been diagnosed by me, my therapist, my friends who are therapists, and anyone who is psychologically intuiative and has had the pleasure of witnessing her behavior. > > I'm an adult child currently living back home and today was just another fabulous day with the midget (mother). > > This afternoon I went to throw something in the garbage can out back and when I returned to the back door I found she had locked me out purposely. I knocked and asked her to let me come in. She said she wouldn't until I agreed to be " good. " I kept knocking and telling her that I did not want to go to the neighbors house to call the police. (this is a first because no one in our family has ever called the police on her even though we had justification) > > I went to the neighbor's house choked up with tears and asked to use their phone. Then I went back to my house, sat on the front porch shaking and crying while waiting for the police. Another neighbor pulled up in front of the house and asked if I was okay. All I could say was " She locked me out. " The moment my mother saw my neighbor she openened up the door and started telling her I was horrible and that I was divorced twice. I kept telling my neighbor in a low voice to please leave and it's okay. The neighbor wanted to stay because she something was not right but I asked her again and she left. I'm grateful for her kindess. > > Well, the cops never came and I spent the afternoon crying and in pain all the while trying to get back to normal life. She can switch on and off but I feel the ache and emotions for some time afterwards. > > Thanks for letting me share. > > Today was just another day in paradise. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 HUGS and Welcome. I too wear the gigantic DS in scarlet on my chest in my mother's mind " Divorced SLUT " It was actually her comments about that that lead me to go NC (no contact) 8.5 years ago. Best decision I ever made! HUGS AND WELCOME > ** > > > Hi EC! > <hugs> I am so sorry you are dealing with this type of mother and have to > live with her right now. > > Until you can move out, try to protect yourself physical safety as much as > you can--even if it means wearing a house key around your neck 24/7 and > strapping on a cell phone. But just like baby-proofing a house, there are > always new ways they figure out to get to us. > > While you are enduring this situation, just remember the anger and hatred > she projects at you is NOT BECAUSE OF YOU. These are her feelings deep down > about herself, and her raging is the only way she knows how of expressing > herself in her broken, dysfunctional way. You deserve better honey, we all > do, but apparently the man upstairs was thinking we were strong enough to be > handed this kind of hell. > > I know it is soul wrenching; please remember you are a wonderful, lovable > being. Her sickness is HERS, and does not in any way reflect who you are as > a person. She was sick long before you came to be, and any shame belongs to > her and her alone. > > > > > > Hi All. I found this place by chance while searching for affirmations for > abused people. > > > > My mom is an undiagnosed borderline. Well, she's been diagnosed by me, my > therapist, my friends who are therapists, and anyone who is psychologically > intuiative and has had the pleasure of witnessing her behavior. > > > > I'm an adult child currently living back home and today was just another > fabulous day with the midget (mother). > > > > This afternoon I went to throw something in the garbage can out back and > when I returned to the back door I found she had locked me out purposely. I > knocked and asked her to let me come in. She said she wouldn't until I > agreed to be " good. " I kept knocking and telling her that I did not want to > go to the neighbors house to call the police. (this is a first because no > one in our family has ever called the police on her even though we had > justification) > > > > I went to the neighbor's house choked up with tears and asked to use > their phone. Then I went back to my house, sat on the front porch shaking > and crying while waiting for the police. Another neighbor pulled up in front > of the house and asked if I was okay. All I could say was " She locked me > out. " The moment my mother saw my neighbor she openened up the door and > started telling her I was horrible and that I was divorced twice. I kept > telling my neighbor in a low voice to please leave and it's okay. The > neighbor wanted to stay because she something was not right but I asked her > again and she left. I'm grateful for her kindess. > > > > Well, the cops never came and I spent the afternoon crying and in pain > all the while trying to get back to normal life. She can switch on and off > but I feel the ache and emotions for some time afterwards. > > > > Thanks for letting me share. > > > > Today was just another day in paradise. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.