Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 1) Got in my car after my last appointment with my therapist, looked at myself in the rearview mirror, noted the wrinkles and age spots on my face and thought, " My god. I'm how old, and I'm still afraid of my mother? " 2)My nada divorced fada over 30 years ago. I find it ironic that he gets to walk away from her scott-free while my brother and I continue to have to deal with her emotionally, mentally and fiscally. How is that fair on any level? That you can just make babies with someone and then leave your children to deal with the nuclear waste of *your* shitty marriage? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 Had this same talk with myself in my own rearview mirror recently so I hear you. I'm 48 and still dealing with my Nada's craziness. She's really old and I actually talked to my husband about whether it would EVER end, even when she passes away. I just don't know. Only another person who has gone through this can understand how deep the hurt and abuse goes. I really feel for you. Hang in there and this episode of self doubt will pass. In my case, the person who got off scott-free is my sister who went NC with Nada for nearly two decades and then came with a halo over her head. Everything I do is wrong and bad and everything she does is okay. I still hear about the hell she put my Nada through, but my Nada never addresses it to my sister directly. I realize that I am Nada's target, her omega child, her trashcan, whatever. I just have never ever deserved it. Tag > > 1) Got in my car after my last appointment with my therapist, looked at myself in the rearview mirror, noted the wrinkles and age spots on my face and thought, " My god. I'm how old, and I'm still afraid of my mother? " > > 2)My nada divorced fada over 30 years ago. I find it ironic that he gets to walk away from her scott-free while my brother and I continue to have to deal with her emotionally, mentally and fiscally. How is that fair on any level? That you can just make babies with someone and then leave your children to deal with the nuclear waste of *your* shitty marriage? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 I had a therapist who I saw shortly after I turned 40 who would occasionally say " How old are you? " - I guess as a way of trying to wake me up or something. It mainly just left me feeling ashamed that my nada problems are still problems. Eliza > > 1) Got in my car after my last appointment with my therapist, looked at myself in the rearview mirror, noted the wrinkles and age spots on my face and thought, " My god. I'm how old, and I'm still afraid of my mother? " > > 2)My nada divorced fada over 30 years ago. I find it ironic that he gets to walk away from her scott-free while my brother and I continue to have to deal with her emotionally, mentally and fiscally. How is that fair on any level? That you can just make babies with someone and then leave your children to deal with the nuclear waste of *your* shitty marriage? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 Amen, sister. I realized that I was actually AFRAID of my own mother, still nervous and anxious with the thought of spending time with her, when I was in my early 50's. And yes, this situation is the epitome of unfair. You nailed it. -Annie > > 1) Got in my car after my last appointment with my therapist, looked at myself in the rearview mirror, noted the wrinkles and age spots on my face and thought, " My god. I'm how old, and I'm still afraid of my mother? " > > 2)My nada divorced fada over 30 years ago. I find it ironic that he gets to walk away from her scott-free while my brother and I continue to have to deal with her emotionally, mentally and fiscally. How is that fair on any level? That you can just make babies with someone and then leave your children to deal with the nuclear waste of *your* shitty marriage? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 There are times when I really wish I could divorce my nada. It really isn't fair that people are allowed to choose to end a relationship that they entered into willingly but we're not allowed to end relationships which we never chose in the first place. At 03:47 PM 10/24/2011 Ambertolina wrote: >1) Got in my car after my last appointment with my therapist, >looked at myself in the rearview mirror, noted the wrinkles and >age spots on my face and thought, " My god. I'm how old, and I'm >still afraid of my mother? " > >2)My nada divorced fada over 30 years ago. I find it ironic >that he gets to walk away from her scott-free while my brother >and I continue to have to deal with her emotionally, mentally >and fiscally. How is that fair on any level? That you can just >make babies with someone and then leave your children to deal >with the nuclear waste of *your* shitty marriage? -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 24, 2011 Report Share Posted October 24, 2011 I know, it sounds crazy, but a lot of us share that irrational fear of our parents. Other people looking in would think, " why are you afraid of a little old lady?? " But for me, it's not the little old lady I'm scared of/intimidated by; it's the nasty darts she launches when she knows I'm vulnerable. Sometimes the darts still get to me. It feels like that's happening less and less with the lower contact I keep with her. i hear ya on #2. I sometimes will say out loud to my deceased father, " thanks for the monster you created and left us with! " > > 1) Got in my car after my last appointment with my therapist, looked at myself in the rearview mirror, noted the wrinkles and age spots on my face and thought, " My god. I'm how old, and I'm still afraid of my mother? " > > 2)My nada divorced fada over 30 years ago. I find it ironic that he gets to walk away from her scott-free while my brother and I continue to have to deal with her emotionally, mentally and fiscally. How is that fair on any level? That you can just make babies with someone and then leave your children to deal with the nuclear waste of *your* shitty marriage? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 25, 2011 Report Share Posted October 25, 2011 1) Yeah, same for me. I also think I am too old to act as handmaiden for the queen-- 2) My Fada stayed. While I am grateful his staying must have shielded me from some behaviors, his staying also meant he refused to see the crazy around him. We are all expected to ignore the elephant standing on its head in the room, but do what the elephant tells us to do when instructed. Anything else and she bitches at him, which makes him mad at us. I am convinced Fada's are unwilling to be responsible, whether they stay or go. The one person that made vows to the crazy person--and they can't even get that right. > > 1) Got in my car after my last appointment with my therapist, looked at myself in the rearview mirror, noted the wrinkles and age spots on my face and thought, " My god. I'm how old, and I'm still afraid of my mother? " > > 2)My nada divorced fada over 30 years ago. I find it ironic that he gets to walk away from her scott-free while my brother and I continue to have to deal with her emotionally, mentally and fiscally. How is that fair on any level? That you can just make babies with someone and then leave your children to deal with the nuclear waste of *your* shitty marriage? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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