So maybe that could have gone better.. . . .

[Guest guest]

So,

My boss bugs me.

I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set boundaries,

because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been about

10 months since I started doing that.

Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point of

leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things above

and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she does

that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia, but

REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard to

deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the help

that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance -

so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen to

a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

-whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

conversations big and small.

So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone else.

i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her the

chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and acted

like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been HUGE

for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm fuzzies.

But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients while

she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a bitch,

she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had PT

this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it is

also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a pink

knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I look

like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I put

it on my jacket which is also pink.

Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This is

a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her she

starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and unimportant.

" Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your shoes?

Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and on

and on and on and on and on and on

And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of thought,

if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at my

left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

attacks that kind of thing)

And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that, so

that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You guys

know that!

SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work here.

Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to be

able to tell you important information.

[Guest guest]

This bugs you because it is Totally Inappropriate behavior!

If this were a male boss, it would be clear to see that it is sexual harassment.

Yes. She is objectifying you- all of that is about your " person " - and she has no

d--n business judging OR commenting on your personal appearance, what you're

wearing, etc.!!

It's not just petty and shallow-- it is Inappropriate.

Does your company have any written policy on sexual harassment? Please take a

look and see if there is something in there that you can use to begin to STOP

your boss's behavior towards you. Does she have a boss, or is she the big

cheese? (apparently she thinks she is, but...?)

Just my 2 cents (btdt, btw)

Chris

>

> So,

>

> My boss bugs me.

>

> I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

>

> I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set boundaries,

> because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been about

> 10 months since I started doing that.

>

> Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

>

> One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point of

> leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things above

> and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she does

> that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia, but

> REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard to

> deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the help

> that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance -

> so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen to

> a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> conversations big and small.

>

> So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone else.

> i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her the

> chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and acted

> like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been HUGE

> for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm fuzzies.

> But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients while

> she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

>

> So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a bitch,

> she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had PT

> this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it is

> also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a pink

> knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I look

> like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I put

> it on my jacket which is also pink.

>

> Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This is

> a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her she

> starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and unimportant.

> " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your shoes?

> Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and on

> and on and on and on and on and on

>

> And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

>

> So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of thought,

> if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at my

> left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

>

> Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

> anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> attacks that kind of thing)

>

> And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that, so

> that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

>

> Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You guys

> know that!

>

> SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work here.

> Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to be

> able to tell you important information.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I agree its inappropriate - but she does it to everyone, not just me. So I

can't claim harassment.

In fact, the designer who gave me the pin went into her office about 5 min

after I got mad to talk to her about a photo or something. He was in the

middle of a word, an important word and she said " You look tired let me look

at your face whats wrong blah blah blah "

He wasn't tired - I know him, I've known him for years. If he were tired,

he'd take a goddamned nap, because he isn't the kind of person who would

walk around tired all day. Seriously, he would go home, nap for two hours

and then work two extra hours into the night. He's just like that. Everyone

loves him to pieces, he is a great guy. His beard was just a titch

straggly.

So anyway, i think I'm going to have to just have a serious serious talk

with her. If she wanted to talk fashion after the conversation, it might be

ok with me - on some days, but I cant talk about hair for 5 min after every

single conversation because i just don't have that much to say about hair or

pins or necklaces or shoes!!!!!!!!!! I mean, we aren't in a retail setting,

or a fashion show and we aren't sewing garments or having a fashion photo

shoot. we are just working! And the reality is, we might go shopping - what

once a season, but that only merits mention ONCE, not every 5 min for years

and years and years. And on a day when I feel like I look like shit, i would

prefer to be valued for my brain and not my fashion sense.

She is like a little bird, getting distracted by shiny things.

She seemed to think I was bothered because she was staring at my left

breast. She WAS staring at my left breast. She said she wasn't but she WAS.

And I don't even care about that - I mean after 5 years together what more

is there to say about them - there they are right on my chest day after day

after day. We've promoted Race for the Cure for years and talked about boobs

up one side and down the other every spring. (I work with health care at

least 40% of the time, so body parts are always up for discussion - other

people's parts though, not mine). Its not like I just had a boob job or

something. It wasn't the boob thing that bugged me, it was that I can't

finish a sentence. Wow, I'm still het up ha ha

Thanks for the feedback though. Yeah it drives me nuts.

> **

>

>

> This bugs you because it is Totally Inappropriate behavior!

>

> If this were a male boss, it would be clear to see that it is sexual

> harassment.

> Yes. She is objectifying you- all of that is about your " person " - and she

> has no d--n business judging OR commenting on your personal appearance, what

> you're wearing, etc.!!

>

> It's not just petty and shallow-- it is Inappropriate.

>

> Does your company have any written policy on sexual harassment? Please take

> a look and see if there is something in there that you can use to begin to

> STOP your boss's behavior towards you. Does she have a boss, or is she the

> big cheese? (apparently she thinks she is, but...?)

>

> Just my 2 cents (btdt, btw)

> Chris

>

>

>

> >

> > So,

> >

> > My boss bugs me.

> >

> > I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

> >

> > I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set

> boundaries,

> > because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been

> about

> > 10 months since I started doing that.

> >

> > Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

> >

> > One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point

> of

> > leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things

> above

> > and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she

> does

> > that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia,

> but

> > REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard

> to

> > deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the

> help

> > that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance

> -

> > so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen

> to

> > a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> > reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> > -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> > conversations big and small.

> >

> > So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone

> else.

> > i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her

> the

> > chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and

> acted

> > like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been

> HUGE

> > for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm

> fuzzies.

> > But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> > effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> > tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients

> while

> > she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

> >

> > So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a

> bitch,

> > she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> > off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had

> PT

> > this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it

> is

> > also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a

> pink

> > knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I

> look

> > like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> > That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> > gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> > because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I

> put

> > it on my jacket which is also pink.

> >

> > Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This

> is

> > a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her

> she

> > starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and

> unimportant.

> > " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your

> shoes?

> > Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and

> on

> > and on and on and on and on and on

> >

> > And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

> >

> > So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of

> thought,

> > if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> > saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> > revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> > clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at

> my

> > left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> > pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

> >

> > Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> > seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

>

> > anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> > attacks that kind of thing)

> >

> > And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> > that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that,

> so

> > that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

> >

> > Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> > seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You

> guys

> > know that!

> >

> > SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> > guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work

> here.

> > Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> > don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to

> be

> > able to tell you important information.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Wow Girlscout, I wouldn't last a week working for that woman before I quit or

said something to get me fired because I couldn't take it anymore! She reminds

me of someone else I know who claims to have ADD - it's like she can't complete

directed thought and can't tolerate anyone else having focused thought either.

I don't know if this is any comfort (or a strategy) but ultimately getting

another boss is best and in the meantime just remember she does all this crazy

crap because she's not right in the head. No matter what you do she will

continue this way because it is her nature...like that scorpion parable.

Hugs,

Eliza

>

> So,

>

> My boss bugs me.

>

> I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

>

> I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set boundaries,

> because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been about

> 10 months since I started doing that.

>

> Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

>

> One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point of

> leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things above

> and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she does

> that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia, but

> REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard to

> deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the help

> that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance -

> so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen to

> a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> conversations big and small.

>

> So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone else.

> i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her the

> chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and acted

> like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been HUGE

> for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm fuzzies.

> But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients while

> she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

>

> So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a bitch,

> she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had PT

> this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it is

> also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a pink

> knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I look

> like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I put

> it on my jacket which is also pink.

>

> Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This is

> a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her she

> starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and unimportant.

> " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your shoes?

> Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and on

> and on and on and on and on and on

>

> And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

>

> So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of thought,

> if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at my

> left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

>

> Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

> anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> attacks that kind of thing)

>

> And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that, so

> that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

>

> Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You guys

> know that!

>

> SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work here.

> Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to be

> able to tell you important information.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi GS,

Seems to me that you haven't done " blunt " yet:

" Stop (doing xyz), it makes me very uncomfortable. Look me in the eyes, and I

promise I'll make this meeting as short as possible. " You can be that blunt if

she is doing something inappropriate. If she is not able to focus on the

matter at hand, then leave and as you exit say something like, " I can see that

you are too distracted now to discuss this with me. Let me know when you have

15 minutes clear. Thanks. " If she walks away or distracts herself with other

tasks before you are finished with your point of discussion, then, " That was

rude to walk away like that when I was trying to discuss xyz with you; I expect

more professional courtesy than that if we are to continue to work together. "

Cool. Distant. Professional. Like Sergeant Friday in the old " Dragnet "

series: " Just the facts, m'am. "

If she has the attention span of a 3 year old, then maybe its better to put most

of the information you need to convey to her in writing, keeping it very short.

If your boss is able to distract you, work you up and get you

upset/aggravated/etc., then perhaps you are still feeling too emotionally close

or emotionally attached to her. I suggest that when you can become indifferent

to her, no matter whether she is being friendly or being rude then she will lose

the power to irritate and aggravate you.

The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference, aka " Medium Chill " .

-Annie

>

> So,

>

> My boss bugs me.

>

> I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

>

> I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set boundaries,

> because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been about

> 10 months since I started doing that.

>

> Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

>

> One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point of

> leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things above

> and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she does

> that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia, but

> REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard to

> deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the help

> that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance -

> so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen to

> a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> conversations big and small.

>

> So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone else.

> i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her the

> chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and acted

> like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been HUGE

> for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm fuzzies.

> But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients while

> she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

>

> So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a bitch,

> she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had PT

> this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it is

> also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a pink

> knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I look

> like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I put

> it on my jacket which is also pink.

>

> Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This is

> a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her she

> starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and unimportant.

> " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your shoes?

> Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and on

> and on and on and on and on and on

>

> And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

>

> So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of thought,

> if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at my

> left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

>

> Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

> anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> attacks that kind of thing)

>

> And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that, so

> that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

>

> Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You guys

> know that!

>

> SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work here.

> Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to be

> able to tell you important information.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Your boss and mine should get together and have babies. Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have to practice some of that medium chill myself. It's so difficult to manage

when you're faced with idiocy.

>

> So,

>

> My boss bugs me.

>

> I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

>

> I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set boundaries,

> because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been about

> 10 months since I started doing that.

>

> Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

>

> One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point of

> leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things above

> and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she does

> that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia, but

> REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard to

> deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the help

> that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance -

> so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen to

> a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> conversations big and small.

>

> So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone else.

> i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her the

> chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and acted

> like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been HUGE

> for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm fuzzies.

> But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients while

> she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

>

> So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a bitch,

> she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had PT

> this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it is

> also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a pink

> knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I look

> like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I put

> it on my jacket which is also pink.

>

> Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This is

> a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her she

> starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and unimportant.

> " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your shoes?

> Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and on

> and on and on and on and on and on

>

> And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

>

> So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of thought,

> if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at my

> left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

>

> Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

> anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> attacks that kind of thing)

>

> And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that, so

> that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

>

> Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You guys

> know that!

>

> SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work here.

> Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to be

> able to tell you important information.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

First of all, I love your boss stories. No need to apologize! She could be a

character in a book.

Secondly, I know I say this all the time but....she's just like my

mother!!!!!!!!!!!!

If my mother has something to say, no one and no thing may interrupt her. If she

is interrupted, she does that click sound (tongue on roof) and says, " God!! Can

I finish? "

When I speak, I sound like I am trying to beat an imaginary clock. I talk very

fast to her b/c I know she will interrupt me. I am conditioned to do that from a

very young age. Both of my parents are/were chaotic, volcanic personalities. If

you didn't talk fast enough, you lost your chance to speak.

Your story was a page from my own. It reminded me of how disrespected, unheard,

and dismissed I feel when I talk to nada.

An example of any conversation with nada (I am not exaggerating or making this

up):

Me: " So, Mom, last week one of the kids was in their play... "

Nada: " oh hold on, before you go on, did you pay my Am Ex bill?...oh good. Uh

huh, go ahead. that's nice. So at work last week......blah blah blah... "

I guess my only advice is to put all your major communication with your boss in

writing. That's what I've had to do with nada. She hates it and told me recently

she doesn't want any more letters from me because they stay stuck in her brain.

I felt like screaming, " GOOOOOOOOOODDD! that's where I want them! I want you to

hear me and get it! "

I'm amazed your boss was ever promoted to boss! She sounds so ineffective in so

many ways.

>

> So,

>

> My boss bugs me.

>

> I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

>

> I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set boundaries,

> because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been about

> 10 months since I started doing that.

>

> Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

>

> One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point of

> leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things above

> and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she does

> that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia, but

> REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard to

> deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the help

> that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance -

> so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen to

> a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> conversations big and small.

>

> So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone else.

> i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her the

> chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and acted

> like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been HUGE

> for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm fuzzies.

> But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients while

> she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

>

> So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a bitch,

> she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had PT

> this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it is

> also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a pink

> knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I look

> like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I put

> it on my jacket which is also pink.

>

> Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This is

> a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her she

> starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and unimportant.

> " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your shoes?

> Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and on

> and on and on and on and on and on

>

> And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

>

> So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of thought,

> if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at my

> left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

>

> Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

> anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> attacks that kind of thing)

>

> And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that, so

> that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

>

> Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You guys

> know that!

>

> SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work here.

> Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to be

> able to tell you important information.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

HAAAAAA, , I think that my boss (who is kind of a 60 year old cougar -

but is all talk - ask me about some of the things she has said about men we

work with, men we meet, and even photos of AMISH men making furniture or

whatever) some time. . . Anyway, I think my boss would really really really

like that idea - she is a total horndog and I feel bad for the guys who come

to our workplace and I have told her many times that it makes me

uncomfortable/is inappropriate/that I don't agree/That I find it weird she

is sizing everyone's muscles up - and usually the people she thinks are hot

are NOT

But anyway

Annie, I really like that idea. That's what I think I'm going to have to do.

I think I'm going to need to create kind of an " environment " where I take

control to lead into the converstation. I'm going to need to put out some

VIBES that make her feel pretty uncomfortable - because that has worked

before in getting her attention. But the other problem is that as her

anxiety grows worse, the more stressed she is, the less she HEARS. And that

sucks because she is kind of slipping down a tube of anxiety. Which I may

also bring up - though I kind of don't care, because I have had many

converstations about mental and physical health with her, offered her tips

and advice, and yet here she is getting worse and worse

Eliza, I really like your suggestions too. Thank you!!!

I need to be more direct. At the same time, if I don't communicate the right

level of caring/empathy, she willl not listen or hear anything I say. So I

have to somehow make her a little uncomfortable and yet make her feel

comforted to get her to be able to hear me.

As for finding a new job - Eliza - I'm so on that. The thing is, I'm

planning to start my own biz doing what I do now. i have a biz plan,

marketing materials, all kinds of stuff. But I put that on hold because the

reality is I want to get out of the whole shallow field and into something

with more depth. So I am applying to 8 graduate programs this fall. And then

they won't start for almost a year and there is NO WAY i can make it that

long. i've even tried just to get my desk moved down the hall,because she is

so anxious and my other coworker is utterly and totally depressed - and its

exhausting to be in a triangle of self hatred 32 hours per week. I mean, it

drains me. My other idea is to just put headphones on. I can't work while I

listen to music (highly sensitive person, plus synesthesia, means its hard

for me to tune things out) but I could wear headphones so it LOOKED like I

couldn't hear. And then the other prob is that I have to be on a group

health insurance plan, because there is no way I will ever be accepted onto

a private pay for yourself plan, because I have some pretty scary diagnoses

on my records.

Thanks guys!!!!

> **

>

>

> Your boss and mine should get together and have babies. Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

>

> I have to practice some of that medium chill myself. It's so difficult to

> manage when you're faced with idiocy.

>

>

>

>

>

> >

> > So,

> >

> > My boss bugs me.

> >

> > I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

> >

> > I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set

> boundaries,

> > because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been

> about

> > 10 months since I started doing that.

> >

> > Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

> >

> > One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point

> of

> > leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things

> above

> > and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she

> does

> > that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia,

> but

> > REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard

> to

> > deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the

> help

> > that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance

> -

> > so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen

> to

> > a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> > reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> > -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> > conversations big and small.

> >

> > So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone

> else.

> > i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her

> the

> > chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and

> acted

> > like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been

> HUGE

> > for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm

> fuzzies.

> > But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> > effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> > tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients

> while

> > she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

> >

> > So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a

> bitch,

> > she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> > off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had

> PT

> > this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it

> is

> > also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a

> pink

> > knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I

> look

> > like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> > That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> > gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> > because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I

> put

> > it on my jacket which is also pink.

> >

> > Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This

> is

> > a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her

> she

> > starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and

> unimportant.

> > " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your

> shoes?

> > Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and

> on

> > and on and on and on and on and on

> >

> > And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

> >

> > So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of

> thought,

> > if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> > saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> > revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> > clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at

> my

> > left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> > pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

> >

> > Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> > seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

>

> > anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> > attacks that kind of thing)

> >

> > And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> > that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that,

> so

> > that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

> >

> > Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> > seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You

> guys

> > know that!

> >

> > SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> > guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work

> here.

> > Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> > don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to

> be

> > able to tell you important information.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Oh thanks Fi, yeah she is a character. the thing is, she is a little on the

dumb/obtuse/dense side in my opinion. She lives completely in what the

dialectic behavior people would call her emotional mind - and I want SOOO

bad to introduce her to the " wise mind " concept that they use.

I'm sure once I get out of there I will write a lot of funny stories about

her.

The thing is, when I leave, i will probably stay in touch with her at least

on some shallow level. i mean, I don't hate her, I just want to shake the

living shit out of her and teach her some life principals like " take care of

yourself, keep your hands and feet to yourself, listen to learn. "

Ok so the best story is this. I think she has a sexually unsatisfying

marriage, because she is ALWAYS talking about men in a sexual way (which is

funny coming from an LDS mom, I mean, I've not encountered another LDS woman

from her generation who wanted to talk about chest definition, muscles, and

just basically BOYS nonstop). I have seen her in the hallways grabbing other

male employees (who she outranks) bicept muscle and calling them " beefcake "

which I found EXTREMLY offensive. The men don' say anything, maybe because

she isn't even 5 feet tall, and (we have a very young office) she is about

30 years older than most of them, and I guess they don't realize that they

are doing everyone a disservice by not saying " dont do that. " 0 Anyway, one

day we were working on a client that makes hardwood flooring. She called me

into her office to show me the " Hot Amish guy refinishing the floor, OMG

look at his muscles, swoon " and her skin turned bright red.

Oh my dear lord, I will never forget that! Is that SO weird to be turned on

by an Amish guy in a PHOTO, from a culture she would be very uncomfortable

with. I mean to localize it, its kind of like getting hot and bothered over

one of the FLDS men (polygamist) that live in our state. They are on the

news all the time and live in a tight network in a lifestyle that we don't

get. I'm sure Amish is a much more honorable culture, but anyway. . . Yeah,

look at the hot Amish guy - what's next? A fetish for . . . Shakers?

Quakers? Cultists? I don't know

> **

>

>

> First of all, I love your boss stories. No need to apologize! She could be

> a character in a book.

>

> Secondly, I know I say this all the time but....she's just like my

> mother!!!!!!!!!!!!

>

> If my mother has something to say, no one and no thing may interrupt her.

> If she is interrupted, she does that click sound (tongue on roof) and says,

> " God!! Can I finish? "

>

> When I speak, I sound like I am trying to beat an imaginary clock. I talk

> very fast to her b/c I know she will interrupt me. I am conditioned to do

> that from a very young age. Both of my parents are/were chaotic, volcanic

> personalities. If you didn't talk fast enough, you lost your chance to

> speak.

>

> Your story was a page from my own. It reminded me of how disrespected,

> unheard, and dismissed I feel when I talk to nada.

>

> An example of any conversation with nada (I am not exaggerating or making

> this up):

> Me: " So, Mom, last week one of the kids was in their play... "

> Nada: " oh hold on, before you go on, did you pay my Am Ex bill?...oh good.

> Uh huh, go ahead. that's nice. So at work last week......blah blah blah... "

>

> I guess my only advice is to put all your major communication with your

> boss in writing. That's what I've had to do with nada. She hates it and told

> me recently she doesn't want any more letters from me because they stay

> stuck in her brain. I felt like screaming, " GOOOOOOOOOODDD! that's where I

> want them! I want you to hear me and get it! "

>

> I'm amazed your boss was ever promoted to boss! She sounds so ineffective

> in so many ways.

>

>

>

> >

> > So,

> >

> > My boss bugs me.

> >

> > I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

> >

> > I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set

> boundaries,

> > because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been

> about

> > 10 months since I started doing that.

> >

> > Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

> >

> > One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point

> of

> > leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things

> above

> > and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she

> does

> > that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia,

> but

> > REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard

> to

> > deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the

> help

> > that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance

> -

> > so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen

> to

> > a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> > reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> > -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> > conversations big and small.

> >

> > So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone

> else.

> > i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her

> the

> > chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and

> acted

> > like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been

> HUGE

> > for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm

> fuzzies.

> > But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> > effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> > tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients

> while

> > she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

> >

> > So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a

> bitch,

> > she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> > off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had

> PT

> > this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it

> is

> > also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a

> pink

> > knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I

> look

> > like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> > That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> > gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> > because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I

> put

> > it on my jacket which is also pink.

> >

> > Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This

> is

> > a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her

> she

> > starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and

> unimportant.

> > " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your

> shoes?

> > Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and

> on

> > and on and on and on and on and on

> >

> > And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

> >

> > So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of

> thought,

> > if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> > saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> > revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> > clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at

> my

> > left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> > pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

> >

> > Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> > seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

>

> > anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> > attacks that kind of thing)

> >

> > And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> > that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that,

> so

> > that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

> >

> > Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> > seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You

> guys

> > know that!

> >

> > SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> > guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work

> here.

> > Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> > don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to

> be

> > able to tell you important information.

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Next summer you should play the Tour de France nonstop for her so she can watch

hot springy cyclists in spandex all day and hopefully not bug you at all.

> > >

> > > So,

> > >

> > > My boss bugs me.

> > >

> > > I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

> > >

> > > I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set

> > boundaries,

> > > because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been

> > about

> > > 10 months since I started doing that.

> > >

> > > Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

> > >

> > > One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point

> > of

> > > leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things

> > above

> > > and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she

> > does

> > > that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia,

> > but

> > > REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard

> > to

> > > deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the

> > help

> > > that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance

> > -

> > > so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen

> > to

> > > a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> > > reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> > > -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> > > conversations big and small.

> > >

> > > So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone

> > else.

> > > i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her

> > the

> > > chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and

> > acted

> > > like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been

> > HUGE

> > > for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm

> > fuzzies.

> > > But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> > > effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> > > tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients

> > while

> > > she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

> > >

> > > So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a

> > bitch,

> > > she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> > > off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had

> > PT

> > > this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it

> > is

> > > also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a

> > pink

> > > knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I

> > look

> > > like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> > > That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> > > gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> > > because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I

> > put

> > > it on my jacket which is also pink.

> > >

> > > Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This

> > is

> > > a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her

> > she

> > > starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and

> > unimportant.

> > > " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your

> > shoes?

> > > Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and

> > on

> > > and on and on and on and on and on

> > >

> > > And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

> > >

> > > So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of

> > thought,

> > > if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> > > saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> > > revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> > > clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at

> > my

> > > left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> > > pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

> > >

> > > Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> > > seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

> >

> > > anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> > > attacks that kind of thing)

> > >

> > > And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> > > that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that,

> > so

> > > that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

> > >

> > > Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> > > seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You

> > guys

> > > know that!

> > >

> > > SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> > > guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work

> > here.

> > > Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> > > don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to

> > be

> > > able to tell you important information.

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

So long as the cyclists look like 19 year old LDS missionaries, she will be

in bliss.

> **

>

>

> Next summer you should play the Tour de France nonstop for her so she can

> watch hot springy cyclists in spandex all day and hopefully not bug you at

> all.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > So,

> > > >

> > > > My boss bugs me.

> > > >

> > > > I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

> > > >

> > > > I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set

> > > boundaries,

> > > > because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its

> been

> > > about

> > > > 10 months since I started doing that.

> > > >

> > > > Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

> > > >

> > > > One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the

> point

> > > of

> > > > leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing

> things

> > > above

> > > > and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she

> > > does

> > > > that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and

> insomnia,

> > > but

> > > > REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so

> hard

> > > to

> > > > deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept

> the

> > > help

> > > > that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by

> insurance

> > > -

> > > > so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't

> listen

> > > to

> > > > a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> > > > reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the

> bathroom

> > > > -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> > > > conversations big and small.

> > > >

> > > > So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired

> someone

> > > else.

> > > > i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered

> her

> > > the

> > > > chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and

> > > acted

> > > > like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have

> been

> > > HUGE

> > > > for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm

> > > fuzzies.

> > > > But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth

> the

> > > > effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially.

> I've

> > > > tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny

> clients

> > > while

> > > > she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it

> up.

> > > >

> > > > So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a

> > > bitch,

> > > > she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course

> thrown

> > > > off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I

> had

> > > PT

> > > > this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday),

> it

> > > is

> > > > also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a

> > > pink

> > > > knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I

> > > look

> > > > like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work

> appropriate.

> > > > That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic

> artist's

> > > > gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE

> TIME

> > > > because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink

> so I

> > > put

> > > > it on my jacket which is also pink.

> > > >

> > > > Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times.

> This

> > > is

> > > > a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to

> her

> > > she

> > > > starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and

> > > unimportant.

> > > > " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your

> > > shoes?

> > > > Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on

> and

> > > on

> > > > and on and on and on and on and on

> > > >

> > > > And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am

> saying.

> > > >

> > > > So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of

> > > thought,

> > > > if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> > > > saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my

> face

> > > > revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> > > > clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare

> at

> > > my

> > > > left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the

> fucking

> > > > pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

> > > >

> > > > Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential

> client)

> > > > seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

> > >

> > > > anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety,

> panic

> > > > attacks that kind of thing)

> > > >

> > > > And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course)

> " If

> > > > that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with

> that,

> > > so

> > > > that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

> > > >

> > > > Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the

> lady

> > > > seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me!

> You

> > > guys

> > > > know that!

> > > >

> > > > SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do

> you

> > > > guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work

> > > here.

> > > > Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2)

> please

> > > > don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need

> to

> > > be

> > > > able to tell you important information.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Ok, so this is funny - I mentioned to coworker that It is very hard to talk

to Waif Boss because she gets distracted by shiny objects (his words)

He said I need to wear a cone bra every day!!!!

On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 10:52 AM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> So long as the cyclists look like 19 year old LDS missionaries, she will be

> in bliss.

>

> On Tue, Oct 25, 2011 at 8:36 AM, afldancer wrote:

>

>> **

>>

>>

>> Next summer you should play the Tour de France nonstop for her so she can

>> watch hot springy cyclists in spandex all day and hopefully not bug you at

>> all.

>>

>>

>> > > >

>> > > > So,

>> > > >

>> > > > My boss bugs me.

>> > > >

>> > > > I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

>> > > >

>> > > > I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set

>> > > boundaries,

>> > > > because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its

>> been

>> > > about

>> > > > 10 months since I started doing that.

>> > > >

>> > > > Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

>> > > >

>> > > > One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the

>> point

>> > > of

>> > > > leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing

>> things

>> > > above

>> > > > and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing

>> she

>> > > does

>> > > > that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and

>> insomnia,

>> > > but

>> > > > REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so

>> hard

>> > > to

>> > > > deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept

>> the

>> > > help

>> > > > that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by

>> insurance

>> > > -

>> > > > so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't

>> listen

>> > > to

>> > > > a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she

>> starts

>> > > > reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the

>> bathroom

>> > > > -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

>> > > > conversations big and small.

>> > > >

>> > > > So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired

>> someone

>> > > else.

>> > > > i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered

>> her

>> > > the

>> > > > chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and

>> > > acted

>> > > > like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have

>> been

>> > > HUGE

>> > > > for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm

>> > > fuzzies.

>> > > > But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't

>> worth the

>> > > > effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially.

>> I've

>> > > > tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny

>> clients

>> > > while

>> > > > she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring

>> it up.

>> > > >

>> > > > So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like

>> a

>> > > bitch,

>> > > > she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course

>> thrown

>> > > > off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I

>> had

>> > > PT

>> > > > this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance

>> yesterday), it

>> > > is

>> > > > also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and

>> a

>> > > pink

>> > > > knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what

>> I

>> > > look

>> > > > like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work

>> appropriate.

>> > > > That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic

>> artist's

>> > > > gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE

>> TIME

>> > > > because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink

>> so I

>> > > put

>> > > > it on my jacket which is also pink.

>> > > >

>> > > > Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times.

>> This

>> > > is

>> > > > a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to

>> her

>> > > she

>> > > > starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and

>> > > unimportant.

>> > > > " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your

>> > > shoes?

>> > > > Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on

>> and

>> > > on

>> > > > and on and on and on and on and on

>> > > >

>> > > > And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am

>> saying.

>> > > >

>> > > > So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of

>> > > thought,

>> > > > if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

>> > > > saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my

>> face

>> > > > revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece

>> of

>> > > > clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her

>> stare at

>> > > my

>> > > > left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the

>> fucking

>> > > > pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

>> > > >

>> > > > Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential

>> client)

>> > > > seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

>> > >

>> > > > anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety,

>> panic

>> > > > attacks that kind of thing)

>> > > >

>> > > > And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course)

>> " If

>> > > > that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with

>> that,

>> > > so

>> > > > that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

>> > > >

>> > > > Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the

>> lady

>> > > > seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me!

>> You

>> > > guys

>> > > > know that!

>> > > >

>> > > > SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how

>> do you

>> > > > guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work

>> > > here.

>> > > > Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2)

>> please

>> > > > don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need

>> to

>> > > be

>> > > > able to tell you important information.

>> > > >

>> > > >

>> > > >

[Guest guest]

Whoa, to say the least, her behavior is super inappropriate. You must have a

really small office where people get away with all sorts of stuff like that.

I can't believe she TOUCHED some guy's chest.

She sounds like a very unhappy person.

> > >

> > > So,

> > >

> > > My boss bugs me.

> > >

> > > I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

> > >

> > > I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set

> > boundaries,

> > > because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its been

> > about

> > > 10 months since I started doing that.

> > >

> > > Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

> > >

> > > One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the point

> > of

> > > leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing things

> > above

> > > and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing she

> > does

> > > that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and insomnia,

> > but

> > > REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so hard

> > to

> > > deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept the

> > help

> > > that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by insurance

> > -

> > > so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't listen

> > to

> > > a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she starts

> > > reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the bathroom

> > > -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> > > conversations big and small.

> > >

> > > So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired someone

> > else.

> > > i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered her

> > the

> > > chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and

> > acted

> > > like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have been

> > HUGE

> > > for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm

> > fuzzies.

> > > But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't worth the

> > > effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially. I've

> > > tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny clients

> > while

> > > she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring it up.

> > >

> > > So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like a

> > bitch,

> > > she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course thrown

> > > off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I had

> > PT

> > > this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance yesterday), it

> > is

> > > also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and a

> > pink

> > > knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what I

> > look

> > > like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work appropriate.

> > > That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic artist's

> > > gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE TIME

> > > because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink so I

> > put

> > > it on my jacket which is also pink.

> > >

> > > Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times. This

> > is

> > > a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to her

> > she

> > > starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and

> > unimportant.

> > > " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your

> > shoes?

> > > Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on and

> > on

> > > and on and on and on and on and on

> > >

> > > And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am saying.

> > >

> > > So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of

> > thought,

> > > if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> > > saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my face

> > > revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece of

> > > clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her stare at

> > my

> > > left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the fucking

> > > pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

> > >

> > > Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential client)

> > > seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

> >

> > > anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety, panic

> > > attacks that kind of thing)

> > >

> > > And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course) " If

> > > that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with that,

> > so

> > > that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

> > >

> > > Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the lady

> > > seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me! You

> > guys

> > > know that!

> > >

> > > SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how do you

> > > guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work

> > here.

> > > Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2) please

> > > don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need to

> > be

> > > able to tell you important information.

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

that's hilarious!! hey, give it a shot. she might not even notice.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > So,

> >> > > >

> >> > > > My boss bugs me.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I talk about it a lot and I'm SORRY.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > I was codependent with her and my therapist suggested that I set

> >> > > boundaries,

> >> > > > because she doesn't behave to me the way a real friend would. Its

> >> been

> >> > > about

> >> > > > 10 months since I started doing that.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > Soooo its been kinda weird lately.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > One thing she does that bugs me is that she avoids conflict, to the

> >> point

> >> > > of

> >> > > > leaving me to take the hit, every single time. I'm always doing

> >> things

> >> > > above

> >> > > > and beyond my pay grade to spare her from conflict. Another thing

> >> she

> >> > > does

> >> > > > that bugs me is that she bitches nonstop about her anxiety and

> >> insomnia,

> >> > > but

> >> > > > REFUSES to get medical or psych treatment for it. After working so

> >> hard

> >> > > to

> >> > > > deal with my probs, I have ZERO respect for people who wont accept

> >> the

> >> > > help

> >> > > > that is there for them, she can afford it and she is covered by

> >> insurance

> >> > > -

> >> > > > so why won't she do it? So then the last thing is that she doesn't

> >> listen

> >> > > to

> >> > > > a freaking word I say. Sometimes she walks away, sometimes she

> >> starts

> >> > > > reading while I'm talking, sometimes she gets up and RUNS to the

> >> bathroom

> >> > > > -whatever it is she always always always has an excuse to avoid

> >> > > > conversations big and small.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > So about 5 min ago a client we pitched called to say she hired

> >> someone

> >> > > else.

> >> > > > i did not CARE! I was glad. The lady was rude, even when I offered

> >> her

> >> > > the

> >> > > > chance to partner with an event I am doing for FREE she was rude and

> >> > > acted

> >> > > > like I was asking too much of her time - even though it could have

> >> been

> >> > > HUGE

> >> > > > for her and I would have asked nothing in return, except some warm

> >> > > fuzzies.

> >> > > > But worse than that, it was another tiny tiny client that isn't

> >> worth the

> >> > > > effort and sucks up all my time without benefiting us financially.

> >> I've

> >> > > > tried and tried to talk to her about how I end up with 15 tiny

> >> clients

> >> > > while

> >> > > > she has ONE big client, and she just walks away every time I bring

> >> it up.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > So anyway, as I'm telling her how this potential client seemed like

> >> a

> >> > > bitch,

> >> > > > she stopped midword to STARE at my chest, oogling. I was of course

> >> thrown

> >> > > > off. And she said " what is your pin? " Ok, I look like crap today, I

> >> had

> >> > > PT

> >> > > > this morning. It is hard and physical. I performed (dance

> >> yesterday), it

> >> > > is

> >> > > > also hard and physical. So I'm wearing jeans, cute tennis shoes and

> >> a

> >> > > pink

> >> > > > knit blazer from a local designer. I don't want to think about what

> >> I

> >> > > look

> >> > > > like and I CERTAINLY don't want to talk about it. I'm work

> >> appropriate.

> >> > > > That's the best I have to offer today. Anyway,one of our graphic

> >> artist's

> >> > > > gave me a pin like 3 months ago and I wear it all the time ALL THE

> >> TIME

> >> > > > because I was kind of touched that he would give it to me. Its pink

> >> so I

> >> > > put

> >> > > > it on my jacket which is also pink.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > Anyway, she was staring at this pin that she has seen 10,000 times.

> >> This

> >> > > is

> >> > > > a behavior that bugs the shit out of me, because EVERYTIME I talk to

> >> her

> >> > > she

> >> > > > starts talking about something shallow, surface, ordinary and

> >> > > unimportant.

> >> > > > " Oh did you get a haircut? Have you lost weight? I want to see your

> >> > > shoes?

> >> > > > Stand up and turn around so I can see the back of your pants " And on

> >> and

> >> > > on

> >> > > > and on and on and on and on and on

> >> > > >

> >> > > > And I hate it, because i never ever ever get to finish what I am

> >> saying.

> >> > > >

> >> > > > So anyway, this time I said something like " i am losing my train of

> >> > > thought,

> >> > > > if you want to look at this you can, but I want to finish what I am

> >> > > > saying. " And then I took it off and gave it to her. The thing is, my

> >> face

> >> > > > revealed my frustration, but it is easier for me to take the piece

> >> of

> >> > > > clothing or jewelry off and let her examine it than to have her

> >> stare at

> >> > > my

> >> > > > left breast while I talk. I finished my thought. She can have the

> >> fucking

> >> > > > pin!!!! I just want to finish my words once in a while!!!!!!!

> >> > > >

> >> > > > Then waif boss said " Well, I did notice that that lady (potential

> >> client)

> >> > > > seems to get very *stirred up* about little things. So maybe she has

> >> > >

> >> > > > anxiety. " (stirred up is old Utah and waif boss' word for anxiety,

> >> panic

> >> > > > attacks that kind of thing)

> >> > > >

> >> > > > And I said (more for waif boss' benefit than the client's of course)

> >> " If

> >> > > > that is the case she should go see a doctor and get some help with

> >> that,

> >> > > so

> >> > > > that she doesn't ruin important friendships and relationships. "

> >> > > >

> >> > > > Waif boss laughed and laughed at that one. Wow. And later said the

> >> lady

> >> > > > seemed to be on her meds today. Mental health is NOT a joke to me!

> >> You

> >> > > guys

> >> > > > know that!

> >> > > >

> >> > > > SO anyway, I need to practice my medium chill face and voice - how

> >> do you

> >> > > > guys do that? I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to work

> >> > > here.

> >> > > > Maybe I just need to sit her down and say 1) please listen and 2)

> >> please

> >> > > > don't stop me from communicating by talking about appearance. I need

> >> to

> >> > > be

> >> > > > able to tell you important information.

> >> > > >

> >> > > >

> >> > > >