RE: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

[Guest guest]

I wanted to feel something, anything.  I was numb from extreme

depression during this summer.  I don’t know why but I was in a dark place and

needed to feel something, anything.  The guy beat me up really bad.  Black and

blue from my chest to my butt.  Funny thing is, I didn’t feel anything.  No

pain, no hurt, no embarrassment.  I didn’t cry ... I still can’t.  The bruising

went away after a month but when I say black... I mean really black and blue. 

I still can’t understand why I wanted it but it confirmed in my mind that I

cannot feel anything.

I went to the hospital and was admitted into the mental health

unit for 4 days under suicide watch.  I am now getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

but I don’t know if I won’t do this again.

 Family only know that I was beaten but not that it was my

idea.  Do I regret it?  No.  Why ... I don’t know.  An I suicidal still?  I don’t

know.  I still think about it.  I think that if I can follow through on getting

someone to beat me up, can I follow though with either killing myself or

getting someone to kill me. 

That is why after 4 months I have come back to the groups.  I

feel so isolated and disconnected with my family even though I see them

everyday and live with my parents ... but I am still dealing with why me?  I

get all the illnesses and have no money to spend on making myself happy.  I

cannot afford a day off work.  I cannot afford going out for a night.  I can no

longer drive because I might pass out.

If the doctors tell me that anything else is wrong with me ....

I am going to become a hermit and walk away into the wild and let nature take

its course.

After reading this .... I have had so much anger still

inside me and i guess that I and just getting fed up keeping my feelings

inside .... thanks for listening.

But don’t worry ... you being concerned for me is like a

lifeline ....

[Guest guest]

I am VERY concerned about you. Please talk to me (us) when you need to, there is no need to end it or to have someone beat you up!

And WHAT KIND OF MAN would even DO that?

~*~Hugs~*~

~*~Akiba~*~

-- RE: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

I wanted to feel something, anything. I was numb from extreme depression during this summer. I don’t know why but I was in a dark place and needed to feel something, anything. The guy beat me up really bad. Black and blue from my chest to my butt. Funny thing is, I didn’t feel anything. No pain, no hurt, no embarrassment. I didn’t cry ... I still can’t. The bruising went away after a month but when I say black... I mean really black and blue. I still can’t understand why I wanted it but it confirmed in my mind that I cannot feel anything.

I went to the hospital and was admitted into the mental health unit for 4 days under suicide watch. I am now getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy but I don’t know if I won’t do this again.

Family only know that I was beaten but not that it was my idea. Do I regret it? No. Why ... I don’t know. An I suicidal still? I don’t know. I still think about it. I think that if I can follow through on getting someone to beat me up, can I follow though with either killing myself or getting someone to kill me.

That is why after 4 months I have come back to the groups. I feel so isolated and disconnected with my family even though I see them everyday and live with my parents ... but I am still dealing with why me? I get all the illnesses and have no money to spend on making myself happy. I cannot afford a day off work. I cannot afford going out for a night. I can no longer drive because I might pass out.

If the doctors tell me that anything else is wrong with me .... I am going to become a hermit and walk away into the wild and let nature take its course.

After reading this .... I have had so much anger still inside me and i guess that I and just getting fed up keeping my feelings inside .... thanks for listening.

But don’t worry ... you being concerned for me is like a lifeline ....

[Guest guest]

What Akiba said!Love,nTo: MSersLife Sent: Sun, October 17, 2010 12:59:52 PMSubject: RE: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

I am VERY concerned about you. Please talk to me (us) when you need to, there is no need to end it or to have someone beat you up!

And WHAT KIND OF MAN would even DO that?

~*~Hugs~*~

~*~Akiba~*~

-- RE: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

I wanted to feel something, anything. I was numb from extreme depression during this summer. I don’t know why but I was in a dark place and needed to feel something, anything. The guy beat me up really bad. Black and blue from my chest to my butt. Funny thing is, I didn’t feel anything. No pain, no hurt, no embarrassment. I didn’t cry ... I still can’t. The bruising went away after a month but when I say black... I mean really black and blue. I still can’t understand why I wanted it but it confirmed in my mind that I cannot feel anything. I went to the hospital and was admitted into the mental health unit for 4 days under suicide watch. I am now getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy but I don’t know if I won’t do this again. Family only know that I was beaten but not that it was my idea. Do I regret it? No. Why ... I don’t know. An I suicidal still? I don’t know. I still think about it. I think that if I can follow through on getting someone to beat me up, can I follow though with either killing myself or getting someone to kill me. That is why after 4 months I have come back to the groups. I feel so isolated and disconnected with my family even though I see them everyday and live with my parents ... but I am still dealing with why me? I get all the illnesses and have no money to spend on making myself happy. I cannot afford a day off work. I cannot afford going out for a night. I can no longer drive because I might pass out. If the doctors tell me that anything else is wrong with me .... I am going to become a hermit and walk away into the wild and let nature take its course.

After reading this .... I have had so much anger still inside me and i guess that I and just getting fed up keeping my feelings inside .... thanks for listening. But don’t worry ... you being concerned for me is like a lifeline ....

[Guest guest]

Dear I'm sorry to hear you are in the place you are emotionally. Please stay with your counseling and stay with us. We all care about you!((hugs)) SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Sun, October 17, 2010 12:50:13 PMSubject: RE: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

I wanted to feel something, anything. I was numb from extreme

depression during this summer. I don’t know why but I was in a dark place and

needed to feel something, anything. The guy beat me up really bad. Black and

blue from my chest to my butt. Funny thing is, I didn’t feel anything. No

pain, no hurt, no embarrassment. I didn’t cry ... I still can’t. The bruising

went away after a month but when I say black... I mean really black and blue.

I still can’t understand why I wanted it but it confirmed in my mind that I

cannot feel anything. I went to the hospital and was admitted into the mental health

unit for 4 days under suicide watch. I am now getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

but I don’t know if I won’t do this again. Family only know that I was beaten but not that it was my

idea. Do I regret it? No. Why ... I don’t know. An I suicidal still? I don’t

know. I still think about it. I think that if I can follow through on getting

someone to beat me up, can I follow though with either killing myself or

getting someone to kill me. That is why after 4 months I have come back to the groups. I

feel so isolated and disconnected with my family even though I see them

everyday and live with my parents ... but I am still dealing with why me? I

get all the illnesses and have no money to spend on making myself happy. I

cannot afford a day off work. I cannot afford going out for a night. I can no

longer drive because I might pass out. If the doctors tell me that anything else is wrong with me ....

I am going to become a hermit and walk away into the wild and let nature take

its course.

After reading this .... I have had so much anger still

inside me and i guess that I and just getting fed up keeping my feelings

inside .... thanks for listening. But don’t worry ... you being concerned for me is like a

lifeline ....

[Guest guest]

We ARE here for you, .I can relate to being in the dark. It's very dismal there, though sometimes, oddly familiar, so it feels safe.I am very worried about you, and want you to know thatyou are loved and treasured. We need you and want you.CBT and DBT can be very useful. I went that route also,after I was hospitalized for suicidality for 11 days. I foundit helpful.You're in my thoughts.Gentle hugs and lots of blessings, KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Sun, October 17, 2010 3:50:13 PMSubject: RE: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

I wanted to feel something, anything. I was numb from extreme

depression during this summer. I don’t know why but I was in a dark place and

needed to feel something, anything. The guy beat me up really bad. Black and

blue from my chest to my butt. Funny thing is, I didn’t feel anything. No

pain, no hurt, no embarrassment. I didn’t cry ... I still can’t. The bruising

went away after a month but when I say black... I mean really black and blue.

I still can’t understand why I wanted it but it confirmed in my mind that I

cannot feel anything. I went to the hospital and was admitted into the mental health

unit for 4 days under suicide watch. I am now getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

but I don’t know if I won’t do this again. Family only know that I was beaten but not that it was my

idea. Do I regret it? No. Why ... I don’t know. An I suicidal still? I don’t

know. I still think about it. I think that if I can follow through on getting

someone to beat me up, can I follow though with either killing myself or

getting someone to kill me. That is why after 4 months I have come back to the groups. I

feel so isolated and disconnected with my family even though I see them

everyday and live with my parents ... but I am still dealing with why me? I

get all the illnesses and have no money to spend on making myself happy. I

cannot afford a day off work. I cannot afford going out for a night. I can no

longer drive because I might pass out. If the doctors tell me that anything else is wrong with me ....

I am going to become a hermit and walk away into the wild and let nature take

its course.

After reading this .... I have had so much anger still

inside me and i guess that I and just getting fed up keeping my feelings

inside .... thanks for listening. But don’t worry ... you being concerned for me is like a

lifeline ....

[Guest guest]

you are in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world""May the Lord Bless you and keep you,May the Lord Make his face shine upon you, and give you Peace...Forever"Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://breastcancerpatientssoulmatesforlife.bravehost.com/ Anxiety Depression and Breast Cancerhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com

RE: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

I wanted to feel something, anything. I was numb from extreme depression during this summer. I don’t know why but I was in a dark place and needed to feel something, anything. The guy beat me up really bad. Black and blue from my chest to my butt. Funny thing is, I didn’t feel anything. No pain, no hurt, no embarrassment. I didn’t cry ... I still can’t. The bruising went away after a month but when I say black... I mean really black and blue. I still can’t understand why I wanted it but it confirmed in my mind that I cannot feel anything.

I went to the hospital and was admitted into the mental health unit for 4 days under suicide watch. I am now getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy but I don’t know if I won’t do this again.

Family only know that I was beaten but not that it was my idea. Do I regret it? No. Why ... I don’t know. An I suicidal still? I don’t know. I still think about it. I think that if I can follow through on getting someone to beat me up, can I follow though with either killing myself or getting someone to kill me.

That is why after 4 months I have come back to the groups. I feel so isolated and disconnected with my family even though I see them everyday and live with my parents ... but I am still dealing with why me? I get all the illnesses and have no money to spend on making myself happy. I cannot afford a day off work. I cannot afford going out for a night. I can no longer drive because I might pass out.

If the doctors tell me that anything else is wrong with me .... I am going to become a hermit and walk away into the wild and let nature take its course.

After reading this .... I have had so much anger still inside me and i guess that I and just getting fed up keeping my feelings inside .... thanks for listening.

But don’t worry ... you being concerned for me is like a lifeline ....

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[Guest guest]



,

Oh wow...This is realy scary. I wish there was something I could do or say to help you out, but I know from having similar thoughts now and then, that I can't....

there are so many days where I just wish I was dead...because I can't live with the way I am feeling...

For you to let someone beat you up, is just..wow..No words except I am so sorry you feel this way...I can see how much you are struggling with it all.....

I am thinking of you.............

Jen H

RE: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

I wanted to feel something, anything. I was numb from extreme depression during this summer. I don’t know why but I was in a dark place and needed to feel something, anything. The guy beat me up really bad. Black and blue from my chest to my butt. Funny thing is, I didn’t feel anything. No pain, no hurt, no embarrassment. I didn’t cry ... I still can’t. The bruising went away after a month but when I say black... I mean really black and blue. I still can’t understand why I wanted it but it confirmed in my mind that I cannot feel anything.

I went to the hospital and was admitted into the mental health unit for 4 days under suicide watch. I am now getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy but I don’t know if I won’t do this again.

Family only know that I was beaten but not that it was my idea. Do I regret it? No. Why ... I don’t know. An I suicidal still? I don’t know. I still think about it. I think that if I can follow through on getting someone to beat me up, can I follow though with either killing myself or getting someone to kill me.

That is why after 4 months I have come back to the groups. I feel so isolated and disconnected with my family even though I see them everyday and live with my parents ... but I am still dealing with why me? I get all the illnesses and have no money to spend on making myself happy. I cannot afford a day off work. I cannot afford going out for a night. I can no longer drive because I might pass out.

If the doctors tell me that anything else is wrong with me .... I am going to become a hermit and walk away into the wild and let nature take its course.

After reading this .... I have had so much anger still inside me and i guess that I and just getting fed up keeping my feelings inside .... thanks for listening.

But don’t worry ... you being concerned for me is like a lifeline ....

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.862 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3202 - Release Date: 10/17/10 02:33:00

[Guest guest]

Oh , I don't know what to say. Please don't let this happen again or worse. We are all here for you. You are in my prayers.

Hugs

nne

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world""May the Lord Bless you and keep you,May the Lord Make his face shine upon you, and give you Peace...Forever"Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://breastcancerpatientssoulmatesforlife.bravehost.com/ Anxiety Depression and Breast Cancerhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com

-----Original Message-----From: jenmonroe@...Sent: Fri, 5 Nov 2010 18:00:31 -0400To: mserslife Subject: Re: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

 ,

Oh wow...This is realy scary. I wish there was something I could do or say to help you out, but I know from having similar thoughts now and then, that I can't....

there are so many days where I just wish I was dead...because I can't live with the way I am feeling...

For you to let someone beat you up, is just..wow..No words except I am so sorry you feel this way...I can see how much you are struggling with it all.....

I am thinking of you.............

Jen H

RE: The High Price of the New MS Pill( delete if need be)

I wanted to feel something, anything. I was numb from extreme depression during this summer. I don’t know why but I was in a dark place and needed to feel something, anything. The guy beat me up really bad. Black and blue from my chest to my butt. Funny thing is, I didn’t feel anything. No pain, no hurt, no embarrassment. I didn’t cry ... I still can’t. The bruising went away after a month but when I say black... I mean really black and blue. I still can’t understand why I wanted it but it confirmed in my mind that I cannot feel anything.

I went to the hospital and was admitted into the mental health unit for 4 days under suicide watch. I am now getting Cognitive Behaviour Therapy but I don’t know if I won’t do this again.

Family only know that I was beaten but not that it was my idea. Do I regret it? No. Why ... I don’t know. An I suicidal still? I don’t know. I still think about it. I think that if I can follow through on getting someone to beat me up, can I follow though with either killing myself or getting someone to kill me.

That is why after 4 months I have come back to the groups. I feel so isolated and disconnected with my family even though I see them everyday and live with my parents ... but I am still dealing with why me? I get all the illnesses and have no money to spend on making myself happy. I cannot afford a day off work. I cannot afford going out for a night. I can no longer drive because I might pass out.

If the doctors tell me that anything else is wrong with me .... I am going to become a hermit and walk away into the wild and let nature take its course.

After reading this .... I have had so much anger still inside me and i guess that I and just getting fed up keeping my feelings inside .... thanks for listening.

But don’t worry ... you being concerned for me is like a lifeline ....

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.862 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3202 - Release Date: 10/17/10 02:33:00

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