Re: Last in line and Kate: re: stuff

[Guest guest]

kate and lastinline:

thank you for your posts.

i believe you when you describe kate as a nurturing mother. i did not mean to

imply otherwise, i was only trying to offer what i considered to be the most

important point to any parent under the stress of a marriage breaking apart.

my very wise step-father told me this point when my own marriage broke up. i

learned this lesson as my ex bad mouthed me to my 2 girls and they grew up

asking, " Mommy, why does Daddy say you are .....? " and it backfired for him.

they never heard a bad word from my lips about him and they grew up learning on

their own who he is and who i am. years later my oldest daughter thanked me for

never talking bad about her father.

again, i only meant to offer a word of advise, i never, ever meant to hurt or

imply any thing negative. <smile>

diva

> >

> >>

> >

> >

> > Hi all,

> > Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a

bit.

> > I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation

with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it

all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for

disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought

being on disability would increase my chances.

> > I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a

divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not

certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical

ramifications of the news.

> > I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering

hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to

be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel

lost and very stuck.

> > I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.

> > Thanks for listening,

> > love to all,

> > Kate

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,.thats what I thought you meant. In fact I am experiencing this in an indirect way as my g-daughters mother trashes my son to them all the time. He has full custody, and they are always asking why she says the bad things about him. He doesn't say anything bad about her, but tells them the truth that she is lying. They are old enough to know she is lying, but he never says the vile things about her that she implies about him. Its rather sad because all she is doing is confusing the girls and I know they will grow up to resent her when they fully understand the difference between their dads place and hers and how she treats them vs how he treats them. Actions speak waaay louder than words. I am very careful not to say anything bad about her also. The girls need to know that their mother loves them in her own way, and so I try to help them

understand that she isn't a bad mother, but she just made some mistakes.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

Subject: Re: Last in line and Kate: re: stuffTo: MSersLife Date: Monday, October 18, 2010, 7:41 PM

kate and lastinline:thank you for your posts. i believe you when you describe kate as a nurturing mother. i did not mean to imply otherwise, i was only trying to offer what i considered to be the most important point to any parent under the stress of a marriage breaking apart. my very wise step-father told me this point when my own marriage broke up. i learned this lesson as my ex bad mouthed me to my 2 girls and they grew up asking, "Mommy, why does Daddy say you are .....?" and it backfired for him. they never heard a bad word from my lips about him and they grew up learning on their own who he is and who i am. years later my oldest daughter thanked me for never talking bad about her father.again, i only meant to offer a word of advise, i never, ever meant to hurt or imply any thing negative. <smile> diva> >> >> > > > > > > Hi all,> > Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.> > I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.> > I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be

shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.> > I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.> > I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.> > Thanks for listening,> > love to all,> > Kate> >>------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

There isn't any reason to trash the ex. If he/she is good then that's wonderful. If he/she is bad --the kids will figure it out on their own. I COULD have said a whole lot of bad things about my ex and they would have all been true. But I didn't. I kept it to myself and he showed the kids his true self without any help from me. My daughter (now 41) thanked me for that a few years ago. She idealized her dad when she was very young and that made me sad because I knew he would hurt her emotionally. But as she grew older and learned more about him all that changed. She does speak to him occasionally but knows him for what he is. My son (now 38) won't speak to him at all because of some

of the terrible things his father has done to him over the years. Of course, my ex says it's all my fault and that I turned the kids against him. When he told me that I said "I didn't have to help you with that." lolSome exs are great and some are not. Kids are smart and they will eventually figure it out. Hugs to your son's girls, Jackie. Their mother is making life difficult for them. Thank goodness they have their dad and their gramma!hugs SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Mon, October 18, 2010 11:19:22 PMSubject: Re: Re: Last in line and Kate: re: stuff

Hi,.thats what I thought you meant. In fact I am experiencing this in an indirect way as my g-daughters mother trashes my son to them all the time. He has full custody, and they are always asking why she says the bad things about him. He doesn't say anything bad about her, but tells them the truth that she is lying. They are old enough to know she is lying, but he never says the vile things about her that she implies about him. Its rather sad because all she is doing is confusing the girls and I know they will grow up to resent her when they fully understand the difference between their dads place and hers and how she treats them vs how he treats them. Actions speak waaay louder than words. I am very careful not to say anything bad about her also. The girls need to know that their mother loves them in her own way, and so I try to help them

understand that she isn't a bad mother, but she just made some mistakes.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

Subject: Re: Last in line and Kate: re: stuffTo: MSersLife Date: Monday, October 18, 2010, 7:41 PM

kate and lastinline:thank you for your posts. i believe you when you describe kate as a nurturing mother. i did not mean to imply otherwise, i was only trying to offer what i considered to be the most important point to any parent under the stress of a marriage breaking apart. my very wise step-father told me this point when my own marriage broke up. i learned this lesson as my ex bad mouthed me to my 2 girls and they grew up asking, "Mommy, why does Daddy say you are .....?" and it backfired for him. they never heard a bad word from my lips about him and they grew up learning on their own who he is and who i am. years later my oldest daughter thanked me for never talking bad about her father.again, i only meant to offer a word of advise, i never, ever meant to hurt or imply any thing negative. <smile> diva> >> >> > > > > > > Hi all,> > Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.> > I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.> > I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be

shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.> > I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.> > I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.> > Thanks for listening,> > love to all,> > Kate> >>------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I didn't have to tell Robbin all the stuff his dad has done, quite a bit of it he still doesn't know about and probably never will, he has made his own decisions, if anything, I'm the one who has to keep telling him NOT to hate his dad...I really feel it is important to keep their lines of communication open. We DID have a lot of good times, and I need to remember that.

~*~Hugs~*~

~*~Akiba~*~

-- Re: Last in line and Kate: re: stuffTo: MSersLife Date: Monday, October 18, 2010, 7:41 PM

kate and lastinline:thank you for your posts. i believe you when you describe kate as a nurturing mother. i did not mean to imply otherwise, i was only trying to offer what i considered to be the most important point to any parent under the stress of a marriage breaking apart. my very wise step-father told me this point when my own marriage broke up. i learned this lesson as my ex bad mouthed me to my 2 girls and they grew up asking, "Mommy, why does Daddy say you are .....?" and it backfired for him. they never heard a bad word from my lips about him and they grew up learning on their own who he is and who i am. years later my oldest daughter thanked me for never talking bad about her father.again, i only meant to offer a word of advise, i never, ever meant to hurt or imply any thing negative. <smile> diva> >> >> > > > > > > Hi all,> > Now that I'm certain that my emails are now private, I can share and vent a bit.> > I am seriously considering divorce, and have even set up a free consultation with a lawyer for next Tues. I am feeling scared and alone right now about it all. Don't think I'll be able to survive on the mere $800 I receive for disability, and unsure I'd receive alimony, though someone said they thought being on disability would increase my chances.> > I'd love to hear from anyone that has gone through, or is going through a divorce. I know my husband is going to be shocked, enraged, etc., and I'm not certain I can handle his response. I am fairly sure there will be no physical ramifications of the news.> > I am struggling right now. I am depressed to the point of considering hospitalization, though that always severely impacts my kids. Then they have to be alone with the lunatic that is their dad. I can't have that either. I feel lost and very stuck.> > I'm sorry to be so down lately. It's just what I'm dealing with right now.> > Thanks for listening,> > love to all,> > Kate> >>------------------------------------