Guest guest Posted October 21, 2010 Report Share Posted October 21, 2010 I'm sorry, I just need to vent........ I was supposed to work afternoons today (2pm-10pm) and I just called in sick...My boss answered the phone and she is amazing, knows my health problems right now, it isn't a secret or anything. But everyone also knows I do NOT like to miss work and I have done nothing BUT call in sick lately and it is killing me Even when I THINK about going to work I get all anxious and worked up and I don't know why.......I've done nothing around the house but sleep, lie around and this is not me. I don't like this person I am becoming and I don't know what to do about it. I just want to stay in a hole and never leave Is this all part of the process????? Please send me some words of encouragement..am I ever going to feel better or go into remission so I can function in daily life??? My job is so physically demanding (I am a personal support worker in a nursing home) so I am on my feet, walking, doing stuff for 8 hrs and even when I was healthy I would come home exhausted, sore feet, sore back, sore legs lol......I don't know that I can do it forever now.... My boss said that I could drop back to casual and not have any scheduled shifts if I need to (but I have fought for over 2 yrs to get a part time position there, which means I would have to give that up and wait for another one to come along......) but it IS an option.........I don't know. I guess I will have to talk to Wayne about it when he comes home from hunting *sigh* I feel useless Thanks for letting me vent, you guys mean so much to me......... Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2010 Report Share Posted October 21, 2010 is there a woman's center where you could talk to someone - it sounds like this is the grief cycle things are really crazy right now and it might help is there a possibility of changing to a part time position in Activities? it would be easier for you God, grant me the strength of eagles wings, the faith and courage to fly to new heights, and the wisdom to rely on his spirit to carry me there. To: MSersLife ; multiple-sclerosis Sent: Thu, October 21, 2010 8:32:46 AMSubject: guilt... I'm sorry, I just need to vent........ I was supposed to work afternoons today (2pm-10pm) and I just called in sick...My boss answered the phone and she is amazing, knows my health problems right now, it isn't a secret or anything. But everyone also knows I do NOT like to miss work and I have done nothing BUT call in sick lately and it is killing me Even when I THINK about going to work I get all anxious and worked up and I don't know why.......I've done nothing around the house but sleep, lie around and this is not me. I don't like this person I am becoming and I don't know what to do about it. I just want to stay in a hole and never leave Is this all part of the process????? Please send me some words of encouragement..am I ever going to feel better or go into remission so I can function in daily life??? My job is so physically demanding (I am a personal support worker in a nursing home) so I am on my feet, walking, doing stuff for 8 hrs and even when I was healthy I would come home exhausted, sore feet, sore back, sore legs lol......I don't know that I can do it forever now.... My boss said that I could drop back to casual and not have any scheduled shifts if I need to (but I have fought for over 2 yrs to get a part time position there, which means I would have to give that up and wait for another one to come along......) but it IS an option.........I don't know. I guess I will have to talk to Wayne about it when he comes home from hunting *sigh* I feel useless Thanks for letting me vent, you guys mean so much to me......... Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2010 Report Share Posted October 21, 2010  thank you Anne......you are probably right, that this IS the grief cycle...of course everyone said how WELL I was handling the new "i'm fine..." i would say and try to be upbeat for others...now, I just don't want to There probably is somewhere I could go, I really don't know. we are so darned RURAL that anything there is, is usually an hour or more from home...I suppose it doesn't help that I don't even want to leave my home right now either. I'm not used to this..... i like your idea of changing to Activities or something...i know there aren't any positions open right now, but that doesn't mean that there won't be in the near future, who knows? it's a possibility.....I wonder how Housekeeping/Laundry would be???? I'm not sure....... Thank you ever so much for the ideas!!! I feel like my brain is so muddled that I am unable to make any decisions.... Jen Re: guilt... is there a woman's center where you could talk to someone - it sounds like this is the grief cycle things are really crazy right now and it might help is there a possibility of changing to a part time position in Activities? it would be easier for you God, grant me the strength of eagles wings, the faith and courage to fly to new heights, and the wisdom to rely on his spirit to carry me there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2010 Report Share Posted October 21, 2010 Jen I am sorry you are having such a rough time with work. Is there anything you could do there that would be less demanding? Are you taking anything for depression? If not you might want to look into it. You are in my prayers. Hugs nne To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world""May the Lord Bless you and keep you,May the Lord Make his face shine upon you, and give you Peace...Forever"Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://breastcancerpatientssoulmatesforlife.bravehost.com/ Anxiety Depression and Breast Cancerhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com -----Original Message-----From: jenmonroe@...Sent: Thu, 21 Oct 2010 09:32:46 -0400To: mserslife , multiple-sclerosis Subject: guilt... I'm sorry, I just need to vent........ I was supposed to work afternoons today (2pm-10pm) and I just called in sick...My boss answered the phone and she is amazing, knows my health problems right now, it isn't a secret or anything. But everyone also knows I do NOT like to miss work and I have done nothing BUT call in sick lately and it is killing me Even when I THINK about going to work I get all anxious and worked up and I don't know why.......I've done nothing around the house but sleep, lie around and this is not me. I don't like this person I am becoming and I don't know what to do about it. I just want to stay in a hole and never leave Is this all part of the process????? Please send me some words of encouragement..am I ever going to feel better or go into remission so I can function in daily life??? My job is so physically demanding (I am a personal support worker in a nursing home) so I am on my feet, walking, doing stuff for 8 hrs and even when I was healthy I would come home exhausted, sore feet, sore back, sore legs lol......I don't know that I can do it forever now.... My boss said that I could drop back to casual and not have any scheduled shifts if I need to (but I have fought for over 2 yrs to get a part time position there, which means I would have to give that up and wait for another one to come along......) but it IS an option.........I don't know. I guess I will have to talk to Wayne about it when he comes home from hunting *sigh* I feel useless Thanks for letting me vent, you guys mean so much to me......... Jen Share photos & screenshots in seconds... Try FREE IM ToolPack at www.imtoolpack.com Works in all emails, instant messengers, blogs, forums and social networks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2010 Report Share Posted October 21, 2010 ~*~Hugs~*~ ~*~Akiba~*~ -- guilt... I'm sorry, I just need to vent........ I was supposed to work afternoons today (2pm-10pm) and I just called in sick...My boss answered the phone and she is amazing, knows my health problems right now, it isn't a secret or anything. But everyone also knows I do NOT like to miss work and I have done nothing BUT call in sick lately and it is killing me Even when I THINK about going to work I get all anxious and worked up and I don't know why.......I've done nothing around the house but sleep, lie around and this is not me. I don't like this person I am becoming and I don't know what to do about it. I just want to stay in a hole and never leave Is this all part of the process????? Please send me some words of encouragement..am I ever going to feel better or go into remission so I can function in daily life??? My job is so physically demanding (I am a personal support worker in a nursing home) so I am on my feet, walking, doing stuff for 8 hrs and even when I was healthy I would come home exhausted, sore feet, sore back, sore legs lol......I don't know that I can do it forever now.... My boss said that I could drop back to casual and not have any scheduled shifts if I need to (but I have fought for over 2 yrs to get a part time position there, which means I would have to give that up and wait for another one to come along......) but it IS an option.........I don't know. I guess I will have to talk to Wayne about it when he comes home from hunting *sigh* I feel useless Thanks for letting me vent, you guys mean so much to me......... Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2010 Report Share Posted October 21, 2010 Sweetie, got yourself to a Dr and talk to them about depression...you are showing some of the classic signs thereof. Or go online and buy some Sam-E, that works too. Good luck Hun, keep us informed, ok? And never apologize for venting, especially not here...ok? ~*~Hugs~*~ ~*~Akiba~*~ -- guilt... I'm sorry, I just need to vent........ I was supposed to work afternoons today (2pm-10pm) and I just called in sick...My boss answered the phone and she is amazing, knows my health problems right now, it isn't a secret or anything. But everyone also knows I do NOT like to miss work and I have done nothing BUT call in sick lately and it is killing me Even when I THINK about going to work I get all anxious and worked up and I don't know why.......I've done nothing around the house but sleep, lie around and this is not me. I don't like this person I am becoming and I don't know what to do about it. I just want to stay in a hole and never leave Is this all part of the process????? Please send me some words of encouragement..am I ever going to feel better or go into remission so I can function in daily life??? My job is so physically demanding (I am a personal support worker in a nursing home) so I am on my feet, walking, doing stuff for 8 hrs and even when I was healthy I would come home exhausted, sore feet, sore back, sore legs lol......I don't know that I can do it forever now.... My boss said that I could drop back to casual and not have any scheduled shifts if I need to (but I have fought for over 2 yrs to get a part time position there, which means I would have to give that up and wait for another one to come along......) but it IS an option.........I don't know. I guess I will have to talk to Wayne about it when he comes home from hunting *sigh* I feel useless Thanks for letting me vent, you guys mean so much to me......... Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 21, 2010 Report Share Posted October 21, 2010 Dear JenDo you have relapsing/remitting MS? You most like do because that is the most common. So, yes, there is a good chance you will go into remission soon. Is there another position available for you where you wouldn't be on your feet all day? If not, then perhaps you should take a leave so you can concentrate on your health. When I finally went on leave I swear I slept most of the day away ever single day for 3 months. I didn't want to leave the house, when I wasn't sleeping I would go outside and sit under the pomegranate tree and just watch the birds. It was so not like me. I had a very demanding job (which I loved) but it was killing me. It took me at least 6 months to start feeling human again. I never went back to work though. I was on short term disability then long term disability until my SSDI cam through. I have never regretted going on disability but it was hard to do in the beginning.hugs SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife ; multiple-sclerosis Sent: Thu, October 21, 2010 6:32:46 AMSubject: guilt... I'm sorry, I just need to vent........ I was supposed to work afternoons today (2pm-10pm) and I just called in sick...My boss answered the phone and she is amazing, knows my health problems right now, it isn't a secret or anything. But everyone also knows I do NOT like to miss work and I have done nothing BUT call in sick lately and it is killing me Even when I THINK about going to work I get all anxious and worked up and I don't know why.......I've done nothing around the house but sleep, lie around and this is not me. I don't like this person I am becoming and I don't know what to do about it. I just want to stay in a hole and never leave Is this all part of the process????? Please send me some words of encouragement..am I ever going to feel better or go into remission so I can function in daily life??? My job is so physically demanding (I am a personal support worker in a nursing home) so I am on my feet, walking, doing stuff for 8 hrs and even when I was healthy I would come home exhausted, sore feet, sore back, sore legs lol......I don't know that I can do it forever now.... My boss said that I could drop back to casual and not have any scheduled shifts if I need to (but I have fought for over 2 yrs to get a part time position there, which means I would have to give that up and wait for another one to come along......) but it IS an option.........I don't know. I guess I will have to talk to Wayne about it when he comes home from hunting *sigh* I feel useless Thanks for letting me vent, you guys mean so much to me......... Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010  Thank you nne... I have been on a few different meds for depression and none of them have worked. And I was sick of being on med after med after med The one I am on now for nerve pain is also an anti anxiety med, so I hope this helps, I just started these this week. However, I am feeling a little physically better these days and it has helped my mood immensely!!! Jen H RE: guilt... Jen I am sorry you are having such a rough time with work. Is there anything you could do there that would be less demanding? Are you taking anything for depression? If not you might want to look into it. You are in my prayers. Hugs nne To the Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2010 Report Share Posted November 11, 2010 Thank you for the support Akiba. I am happy to report, my moods are getting a bit better, because I am feeling a little better physically Jen H Re: guilt... Sweetie, got yourself to a Dr and talk to them about depression...you are showing some of the classic signs thereof. Or go online and buy some Sam-E, that works too. Good luck Hun, keep us informed, ok? And never apologize for venting, especially not here...ok? ~*~Hugs~*~ ~*~Akiba~*~ -------Original Message------- No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.862 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3210 - Release Date: 10/21/10 02:34:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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