Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 My husband and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this month. He surprised me with a 3 days trip to Puerto Rico...first time away from our 5 kids (we have natural triplets and twins). We had a great time, btw. While at the beach, I noticed an adult woman with her older mother playing in the waves together. Holding hands. The daughter (maybe 50 years old)_ was helping her mother the whole time, playing in the warm waves. I thought to myself what a lucky pair of people...this scenario would never happen with me and my mother...my mom has always been super-afraid of the ocean and pools too. I watched them for about a half-hour and was happy for them. They had this playful, happy time together. On our flight home, these same people were on our plane, diagonally in front of us in the next row up. Minutes before takeoff, there was a commotion and emergency people were coming to the mother's rescue. She had passed out, slight heartbeat, slight pulse. Within minutes, they were doing CPR on her in her seat laying down across 3 seats. The daughter was crying " mommy, not now mommy, don't go now " . It was such a raw moment that made me want to be close with my mom immediately. Her words ripped thru me...Mommy, not now, don't go. I had always wanted her closeness... The woman on the plane did not recover. The daughter was in shock and they both were taken off the plane. I felt sadly happy for them both that they played so lovingly in the waves together in the end of her life. Good memories. I came home to my mom, and in my own way...felt peaceful that I know that throughout my life, whatever she did to hurt me was over. I hope this feeling lasts because it feels so good to get out from under the umbrella of constant agitation, misplaced guilt and longing for what cannot ever be. I saw my mom for who she was/is...and I accepted her for it. She's the woman who gave birth to me. Yes, we've had our very traumatic times, but I got to see the end of a life, and it left an impact on me. I have never seen someone die before. Just wanted to share this brief moment in time with all of you. Amy barrycove@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 OMG that's beautiful. It sounds like you were able to say at least part of a goodbye vicariously by watching them. > ** > > > My husband and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this month. > He surprised me with a 3 days trip to Puerto Rico...first time away from our > 5 kids (we have natural triplets and twins). We had a great time, btw. > > While at the beach, I noticed an adult woman with her older mother playing > in the waves together. Holding hands. The daughter (maybe 50 years old)_ was > helping her mother the whole time, playing in the warm waves. I thought to > myself what a lucky pair of people...this scenario would never happen with > me and my mother...my mom has always been super-afraid of the ocean and > pools too. I watched them for about a half-hour and was happy for them. They > had this playful, happy time together. > > On our flight home, these same people were on our plane, diagonally in > front of us in the next row up. > Minutes before takeoff, there was a commotion and emergency people were > coming to the mother's rescue. She had passed out, slight heartbeat, slight > pulse. Within minutes, they were doing CPR on her in her seat laying down > across 3 seats. > The daughter was crying " mommy, not now mommy, don't go now " . > > It was such a raw moment that made me want to be close with my mom > immediately. Her words ripped thru me...Mommy, not now, don't go. > I had always wanted her closeness... > The woman on the plane did not recover. The daughter was in shock and they > both were taken off the plane. > I felt sadly happy for them both that they played so lovingly in the waves > together in the end of her life. Good memories. > > I came home to my mom, and in my own way...felt peaceful that I know that > throughout my life, whatever she did to hurt me was over. I hope this > feeling lasts because it feels so good to get out from under the umbrella of > constant agitation, misplaced guilt and longing for what cannot ever be. I > saw my mom for who she was/is...and I accepted her for it. She's the woman > who gave birth to me. Yes, we've had our very traumatic times, but I got to > see the end of a life, and it left an impact on me. I have never seen > someone die before. > > Just wanted to share this brief moment in time with all of you. > > Amy > > barrycove@... > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 29, 2011 Report Share Posted October 29, 2011 That brings tears to my eyes. It reminds me of my Dad dying and I didn't get the chance to be with him when he went. He was in hospice care for a few days, I visited him, told him he was coming back home the next day. He grabbed both my hands and smiled, too weak to say anything. He passed away a few hours later. It broke my heart. I don't think I'll ever feel that kind of pain when my nada goes. For now I understand who she is and that she'll never change, we'll never have that sentimental relationship. But I have to protect myself from the pain she gives. I will treat her with respect, be compassionate but I'll never be able miss her when she goes. > > My husband and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this month. He surprised me with a 3 days trip to Puerto Rico...first time away from our 5 kids (we have natural triplets and twins). We had a great time, btw. > > > While at the beach, I noticed an adult woman with her older mother playing in the waves together. Holding hands. The daughter (maybe 50 years old)_ was helping her mother the whole time, playing in the warm waves. I thought to myself what a lucky pair of people...this scenario would never happen with me and my mother...my mom has always been super-afraid of the ocean and pools too. I watched them for about a half-hour and was happy for them. They had this playful, happy time together. > > > On our flight home, these same people were on our plane, diagonally in front of us in the next row up. > Minutes before takeoff, there was a commotion and emergency people were coming to the mother's rescue. She had passed out, slight heartbeat, slight pulse. Within minutes, they were doing CPR on her in her seat laying down across 3 seats. > The daughter was crying " mommy, not now mommy, don't go now " . > > > It was such a raw moment that made me want to be close with my mom immediately. Her words ripped thru me...Mommy, not now, don't go. > I had always wanted her closeness... > The woman on the plane did not recover. The daughter was in shock and they both were taken off the plane. > I felt sadly happy for them both that they played so lovingly in the waves together in the end of her life. Good memories. > > > I came home to my mom, and in my own way...felt peaceful that I know that throughout my life, whatever she did to hurt me was over. I hope this feeling lasts because it feels so good to get out from under the umbrella of constant agitation, misplaced guilt and longing for what cannot ever be. I saw my mom for who she was/is...and I accepted her for it. She's the woman who gave birth to me. Yes, we've had our very traumatic times, but I got to see the end of a life, and it left an impact on me. I have never seen someone die before. > > > Just wanted to share this brief moment in time with all of you. > > > Amy > > > > barrycove@... > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 30, 2011 Report Share Posted October 30, 2011 Wow, Amy, what an incredibly dramatic moment to be witness to. Just stunning, esp b/c you had seen them so alive and joyous at the beach. I'm so sad for the woman who lost her mother. I thought your observation of them, and of your own relationship, is so poignant: " I hope this feeling lasts because it feels so good to get out from under the umbrella of constant agitation, misplaced guilt and longing for what cannot ever be. " > > My husband and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this month. He surprised me with a 3 days trip to Puerto Rico...first time away from our 5 kids (we have natural triplets and twins). We had a great time, btw. > > > While at the beach, I noticed an adult woman with her older mother playing in the waves together. Holding hands. The daughter (maybe 50 years old)_ was helping her mother the whole time, playing in the warm waves. I thought to myself what a lucky pair of people...this scenario would never happen with me and my mother...my mom has always been super-afraid of the ocean and pools too. I watched them for about a half-hour and was happy for them. They had this playful, happy time together. > > > On our flight home, these same people were on our plane, diagonally in front of us in the next row up. > Minutes before takeoff, there was a commotion and emergency people were coming to the mother's rescue. She had passed out, slight heartbeat, slight pulse. Within minutes, they were doing CPR on her in her seat laying down across 3 seats. > The daughter was crying " mommy, not now mommy, don't go now " . > > > It was such a raw moment that made me want to be close with my mom immediately. Her words ripped thru me...Mommy, not now, don't go. > I had always wanted her closeness... > The woman on the plane did not recover. The daughter was in shock and they both were taken off the plane. > I felt sadly happy for them both that they played so lovingly in the waves together in the end of her life. Good memories. > > > I came home to my mom, and in my own way...felt peaceful that I know that throughout my life, whatever she did to hurt me was over. I hope this feeling lasts because it feels so good to get out from under the umbrella of constant agitation, misplaced guilt and longing for what cannot ever be. I saw my mom for who she was/is...and I accepted her for it. She's the woman who gave birth to me. Yes, we've had our very traumatic times, but I got to see the end of a life, and it left an impact on me. I have never seen someone die before. > > > Just wanted to share this brief moment in time with all of you. > > > Amy > > > > barrycove@... > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted October 31, 2011 Report Share Posted October 31, 2011 As hard as it is, sometimes we just have to step back and thank the people who have been like the mom's we never had in our lives. Who truly supported and loved us, regardless. ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Sunday, October 30, 2011 4:47 PM Subject: Re: mommy  Wow, Amy, what an incredibly dramatic moment to be witness to. Just stunning, esp b/c you had seen them so alive and joyous at the beach. I'm so sad for the woman who lost her mother. I thought your observation of them, and of your own relationship, is so poignant: " I hope this feeling lasts because it feels so good to get out from under the umbrella of constant agitation, misplaced guilt and longing for what cannot ever be. " > > My husband and I are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this month. He surprised me with a 3 days trip to Puerto Rico...first time away from our 5 kids (we have natural triplets and twins). We had a great time, btw. > > > While at the beach, I noticed an adult woman with her older mother playing in the waves together. Holding hands. The daughter (maybe 50 years old)_ was helping her mother the whole time, playing in the warm waves. I thought to myself what a lucky pair of people...this scenario would never happen with me and my mother...my mom has always been super-afraid of the ocean and pools too. I watched them for about a half-hour and was happy for them. They had this playful, happy time together. > > > On our flight home, these same people were on our plane, diagonally in front of us in the next row up. > Minutes before takeoff, there was a commotion and emergency people were coming to the mother's rescue. She had passed out, slight heartbeat, slight pulse. Within minutes, they were doing CPR on her in her seat laying down across 3 seats. > The daughter was crying " mommy, not now mommy, don't go now " . > > > It was such a raw moment that made me want to be close with my mom immediately. Her words ripped thru me...Mommy, not now, don't go. > I had always wanted her closeness... > The woman on the plane did not recover. The daughter was in shock and they both were taken off the plane. > I felt sadly happy for them both that they played so lovingly in the waves together in the end of her life. Good memories. > > > I came home to my mom, and in my own way...felt peaceful that I know that throughout my life, whatever she did to hurt me was over. I hope this feeling lasts because it feels so good to get out from under the umbrella of constant agitation, misplaced guilt and longing for what cannot ever be. I saw my mom for who she was/is...and I accepted her for it. She's the woman who gave birth to me. Yes, we've had our very traumatic times, but I got to see the end of a life, and it left an impact on me. I have never seen someone die before. > > > Just wanted to share this brief moment in time with all of you. > > > Amy > > > > barrycove@... > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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