Something I wrote for a class I'd like to share with you all :)

[Guest guest]

I wrote a personal essay for one of my classes after I'd been struggling to put

into words the emotions I felt after seeing the movie " The Help " . I went on a

road trip through Texas with my Dad's friend he met on a WTO group for people

with BPD spouses. She'd had a rough childhood with NPD parents and was so

supportive, loving and just wonderful to be around. We had a lot of fun, and

stopped at a movie theater in Austin to catch a late night movie and we picked

" The Help " . It was such a cathartic and moving experience for both of us. I

figured I'd share what I learned from it.

Here's my essay:

" You is kind, you is smart, you is important "

I've never cried harder at a movie than I did after seeing " The Help " . It was

the final image of the little girl crying at the window, tears streaking down

her face as her little fists beat on the panes. Oh, how I can relate to that

little girl. I know the pain of when someone who loves you and cares about you

has to leave you in the cold and cruel arms of the neglectful and unstable

mother.

I remember banging at a window and sobbing when Grandma drove away. I remember

sobbing every time we would leave her house.

" I love you, I love you, I love you a lot. I'll tell you again in case you

forgot. I love you so much, lovey. "

In the movie, the little girl was being potty-trained and she was 3, maybe 4 at

most. During one scene, when there were toilets in a front yard and the little

girl went potty on one, just like she had been taught, her mother swatted her

and shamed her. But the nanny, Emmaline, took the little girl to the side, held

her in her arms and told her " You is kind, you is smart, you is important " .

It still hurts to be that little girl, and to know that Mama is incapable of

loving you, seeing your needs or even understanding them, but the people who are

there to give the real hugs, and mean it when they tell you they love you or

that they are proud of you are the ones that matter. They can't take away the

pain, but they can provide that glimmer of hope in the inconsistent and

frightening world the little girl has been thrust into.

It is those people who give and keep giving me strength when I feel unworthy,

unlovable, shamed and despicable to rise up and know that there is more to me. I

have been loved. So very much. Maybe not by my nada, but I have been loved by my

dad so much " it hurt to watch " , by my grandma more than anything, by all the

aunties and uncles and friends, by the siblings who show me support and who I

can always count on to have my back, and the teachers that showed me I was

talented and special.

" Good night, sweetheart. See you in the morning "

It was those people who protected the little voice that told me I could try

again tomorrow and that every day was new day. It was those people who shielded

the inner me from so much of the confusion and helped me keep hold of my spirit

and my independence. It was those people who lead by example and showed me I

could practice being who I wanted to be everyday. It was those people in my life

who let me know I could make mistakes and that when I did, I was still not only

ok, but they were proud of the lessons I was learning. Those were the people who

protected me enough for me to keep my head held high through the pain, the shame

and the suffering.

For so much of my life, I have felt so utterly alone, abandoned and unloved. I

was abandoned and hurt by the first person a child comes to love and trust, and

have endured so much pain because of it. My brain chemistry may be a little

whack, my emotions may be a bit of a roller coaster, I may have trouble keeping

friends and I may struggle to maintain my sense of self, but I have risen to

every challenge life has thrown at me. As much as it may have seemed, I was

never really alone.

For every time I was shamed by mother, Dad reminded me how strong, talented and

smart I was.

For every time I was hurt and neglected by mother, Grandma told me how loved and

special I was.

For every time I was ridiculed and berated by mother, teachers showed me how

successful and promising I was.

For every time people have walked out of my life, there have been more drawn in

by my happiness, charm and empathy.

And for every time I cried during that movie, held my hand.

I'm not alone. And I never have been. And I never have to fear being alone

because it isn't going to happen.

I am kind, I am smart, I am important, but most of all, I am loved.

[Guest guest]

(((((((((((((Oh Honey,))))))))))))))

You Is, You Is, You Is indeed! Thank you so much for sharing this amazing

post. I am so happy that you had your Dad, Grandmother and , and

teachers, friends and good companions to travel with! May you always find

such fine good souls, and may they find you! Both are fortunate! Joyfully

Yours, Sunspot

> **

>

>

> Thank you for sharing (and Thank God for your Dad and Grandma).

>

>

>

> > >

> > > I wrote a personal essay for one of my classes after I'd been

> struggling to put into words the emotions I felt after seeing the movie

> " The Help " . I went on a road trip through Texas with my Dad's friend he met

> on a WTO group for people with BPD spouses. She'd had a rough childhood

> with NPD parents and was so supportive, loving and just wonderful to be

> around. We had a lot of fun, and stopped at a movie theater in Austin to

> catch a late night movie and we picked " The Help " . It was such a cathartic

> and moving experience for both of us. I figured I'd share what I learned

> from it.

> > >

> > > Here's my essay:

> > >

> > > " You is kind, you is smart, you is important "

> > >

> > > I've never cried harder at a movie than I did after seeing " The Help " .

> It was the final image of the little girl crying at the window, tears

> streaking down her face as her little fists beat on the panes. Oh, how I

> can relate to that little girl. I know the pain of when someone who loves

> you and cares about you has to leave you in the cold and cruel arms of the

> neglectful and unstable mother.

> > >

> > > I remember banging at a window and sobbing when Grandma drove away. I

> remember sobbing every time we would leave her house.

> > >

> > > " I love you, I love you, I love you a lot. I'll tell you again in case

> you forgot. I love you so much, lovey. "

> > >

> > > In the movie, the little girl was being potty-trained and she was 3,

> maybe 4 at most. During one scene, when there were toilets in a front yard

> and the little girl went potty on one, just like she had been taught, her

> mother swatted her and shamed her. But the nanny, Emmaline, took the little

> girl to the side, held her in her arms and told her " You is kind, you is

> smart, you is important " .

> > >

> > > It still hurts to be that little girl, and to know that Mama is

> incapable of loving you, seeing your needs or even understanding them, but

> the people who are there to give the real hugs, and mean it when they tell

> you they love you or that they are proud of you are the ones that matter.

> They can't take away the pain, but they can provide that glimmer of hope in

> the inconsistent and frightening world the little girl has been thrust into.

> > > It is those people who give and keep giving me strength when I feel

> unworthy, unlovable, shamed and despicable to rise up and know that there

> is more to me. I have been loved. So very much. Maybe not by my nada, but I

> have been loved by my dad so much " it hurt to watch " , by my grandma more

> than anything, by all the aunties and uncles and friends, by the siblings

> who show me support and who I can always count on to have my back, and the

> teachers that showed me I was talented and special.

> > >

> > > " Good night, sweetheart. See you in the morning "

> > >

> > > It was those people who protected the little voice that told me I

> could try again tomorrow and that every day was new day. It was those

> people who shielded the inner me from so much of the confusion and helped

> me keep hold of my spirit and my independence. It was those people who lead

> by example and showed me I could practice being who I wanted to be

> everyday. It was those people in my life who let me know I could make

> mistakes and that when I did, I was still not only ok, but they were proud

> of the lessons I was learning. Those were the people who protected me

> enough for me to keep my head held high through the pain, the shame and the

> suffering.

> > >

> > > For so much of my life, I have felt so utterly alone, abandoned and

> unloved. I was abandoned and hurt by the first person a child comes to love

> and trust, and have endured so much pain because of it. My brain chemistry

> may be a little whack, my emotions may be a bit of a roller coaster, I may

> have trouble keeping friends and I may struggle to maintain my sense of

> self, but I have risen to every challenge life has thrown at me. As much as

> it may have seemed, I was never really alone.

> > >

> > > For every time I was shamed by mother, Dad reminded me how strong,

> talented and smart I was.

> > > For every time I was hurt and neglected by mother, Grandma told me how

> loved and special I was.

> > > For every time I was ridiculed and berated by mother, teachers showed

> me how successful and promising I was.

> > > For every time people have walked out of my life, there have been more

> drawn in by my happiness, charm and empathy.

> > > And for every time I cried during that movie, held my hand.

> > >

> > > I'm not alone. And I never have been. And I never have to fear being

> alone because it isn't going to happen.

> > > I am kind, I am smart, I am important, but most of all, I am loved.

> > >

> >

>

>

>