Guest guest Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 I think you should shake it up! Go out of town or have a pizza party. My honey and I always go to a movie on Thanksgiving and cook somethiing really weird and hang out just us. But something like that might just reset your holiday barometer > ** > > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become > a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but > because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this > holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends > all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody > to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel > lonely on these days. > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a > restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who > seemed " misplaced " . > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but > now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears > of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I > try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel > embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to > invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of > things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's > something I really miss. > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > Amy > > barrycove@... > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 I, too, will be glad when both Thanksgiving and Christmas are over. My FOO always spent holidays together until about 5 years ago when Nada decided I was not behaving the way she wanted, walked out of my house without speaking to me on Thanksgiving in front of my inlaws and began an eight month silent treatment. Since then we have had other holidays together, but the veil was stripped away for me then and it has never been the same. This year my Nada and stepdad are separated and Nada will not even be in the same room with him (or answer calls or letters). So, I will spend the holiday at home with my boyfriend and my children free from drama. But, like you I miss the old days when I thought that I had a somewhat normal family. Before I realized just how bad my mother is. I feel like the only family I have left who is sane is my sister and thank God for her. The rest of the family has disintegrated, that is a good word you chose. My kids know something is different, but I have a difficult time putting it in terms that they can understand without turning them against their grandmother. Of course, she has not seen the older one in four months and the younger one in about three months and apparently is not bothered by that. So, why am I? But, I am. So, I understand your feelings and share them. My journey toward acceptance and healing started five years ago, but I only recently heard of BPD or realized Nada suffers with it. I think it is natural to miss times that we thought were good. They probably were good in some way or another, it is rarely totally bad. But, it will never go back for me because I have seen the truth of it and can no longer pretend or deny that. > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel lonely on these days. > > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who seemed " misplaced " . > > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's something I really miss. > > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > > Amy > > > barrycove@... > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 Maybe it will help if you think about it, as your kids are counting on you to make this Thanksgiving a happy memory for them. Its their childhood now, they need a mom who is right there for them, showing them that life is a wonderful adventure that they're going to contribute to and be a part of. You and your husband could maybe take your kids to see something they've never seen or done before; like a kind of family adventure. I know its hard to be alone on holidays. I am often completely alone on holidays, working on some freelance project or other. Sometimes I have a holiday meal with a friend, but not always. So, maybe it will help you to realize that you do have so much; your glass is half-full, not half-empty: you have a husband who loves you and you have little kids who look up to you and love you. That is a real blessing. Make this a Thanksgiving that they'll remember fondly, and talk about long after they are parents themselves. I bet you can do it. -Annie > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel lonely on these days. > > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who seemed " misplaced " . > > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's something I really miss. > > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > > Amy > > > barrycove@... > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 Amy, I know it might be hard to see the glass as half full after having lost so much but having a great husband and kids is a blessing beyond measure. You are not alone on Thanksgiving. I say this as someone who will be alone and has been alone many many Thanksgivings. Marriage and children are not in my cards. Sometimes I spend it alone and sometimes some friend's family invites me to be part of their celebration. I've mostly made peace with it, but there will always be the sadness of being separate. One thing that helps me is deliberately focusing on what I'm thankful for - and not in a cheesy forced way - because even though I do feel I've been cursed in some ways I've also been blessed too. Maybe you might feel this way too? Given the crosses a KO has to bear, deliberately cherishing those things that are good can make it easier. Eliza > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel lonely on these days. > > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who seemed " misplaced " . > > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's something I really miss. > > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > > Amy > > > barrycove@... > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 10, 2011 Report Share Posted November 10, 2011 Amy and Eliza, I know exactly what Amy is referring to. Growing up the middle of three kids with a bunch of older cousins, aunts, uncles and grandmother to celebrate TG with I loved the hoopla, charades, ballgame and festivities. As I grew older TG sometimes was all of that and some years was just my family and one or two relatives. But as a kid I loved it all, big and small. Now in my fifties and living with borderline in my family of origin and my husbands family, we too are a family who spends TG at home without extended family. It would get to me sometimes, but in the last couple of years we have been able to see it is a nice peaceful day when we watch some of the parades (mostly just hear them in the background) and ballgames, play some boardgames (my husband and son cribbage, my daughter and I puzzles and all of us Apples to Apples), and walk our dog together and of course have TG dinner. Our kids are in early twenties and aware of the borderline issues and now appreciate and welcome the time for just the four of us with a day off all together. I know we also each wonder what will be in store ahead when they each may be dating someone serious for holidays. I think keeping our own traditions alive and evolving is important. Some years we have had a family of friends join us because they could not reach out of state relatives due to snow storm. You never know. Another thing we have started doing (last few years) that brings us each fullfillment and joy at TG time is we participate in several food drives in our area, clean out our closets and donate to Goodwill, and contribute to our local welfare TG Basket program. I imagine you both do the same. It always amazes me how much joy it brings me when I look outward (rather than inward) when I am feeling down about the borderline and its impact on the holiday. I like Eliza' point about cherishing the good this time of year. Very recently my DH and I have begun attending church again and that has really helped ground me. I was amazed last week when after the service several people in the congregation got up to announce progress on programs the church was involved in, including collecting shoes for Haiti, blankets for the homeless, food for local food pantries, toys for local charities and letters of thanks to area veterans and soilders. I was very excited and thankful to know I had so many opportunities to make a difference in lives in such meaningful ways. This kind of positive energy and atmosphere and fellowship help bring the balance back to filling my cup up. Remember that even though we will never again have the TG's gone by, we did have them and they are part of who we are. Now TG can be full of very meaningful joys that we create and celebrate ourselves, and with family (no matter the size) and/or friends, and there is also the promise and hope of future family, or to-be-made friends who will join us - and who knows, perhaps there is a house full of noisy loved ones at TG in all our futures. No matter what you do this TG if what you do makes a difference in other's lives you will feel the joy. God Bless, True > > > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > > > > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel lonely on these days. > > > > > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who seemed " misplaced " . > > > > > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > > > > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's something I really miss. > > > > > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > > > > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > > > > > Amy > > > > > > barrycove@ > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 Maybe you could start some new traditions for you and your husband & kids. I was blessed with a healthy FOO, but unfortuantely, my significant other was not. So this is something we are exploring right now. I have a close friend who spends every Thanksgiving with her wonderful hubby & 2 kids on a trip somewhere- anywhere. It's their special thing they do together because they find it easier to be away than have to deal with both FOOs. Even if it's just camping down the road- it's something they have together and they are making special memories together, just the 4 of them. I think that's what the Holidays are all about. Hugs, Kel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 All great suggestions. I am so grateful for everything I do have. My triplets are 17 and my twins are 13...and my husband is a great person. I have so much. It's funny how your brain plays tricks on you after so many years of isolation...no matter how many people I actually have around me, I somehow feel alone in a very deep way. Hopefully, one day, my gentle heart will feel the love it truly needs. We started a Thanksgiving tradition 3 years ago...we run the Thanksgiving 4 mile run in our town...and that starts the day off right...that saves me. I love just eating with my family, playing games...yet somewhere in my head, I know I would have my extended original family with me if the borderline thing had never happened. I have to stop wallowing!!! Thank you all for your suggestions and sincere care. Amy barrycove@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 Yup, same here. It would be interesting to take an informal poll of the number of KO's who've made logistical changes to holiday traditions so they don't have to deal with the BPD or other FOO drama. Back when I was " decorating " my house, I bought a dining room table with leaves that will seat ten people, imagining that one day I'd be hosting big family get-togethers. Since moving back to our hometown, though, we've realized that my mother is totally nuts, and my inlaws are hideous. So at this point I'm trying to sell that table and all the chairs so I can turn the dining room into a music room and den. Why hold on to the fantasy? It's never going to happen, and the last time I tried to host Thanksgiving, there was big-time dysfunctional butt display from the inlaws. > > > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > > > > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel lonely on these days. > > > > > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who seemed " misplaced " . > > > > > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > > > > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's something I really miss. > > > > > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > > > > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > > > > > Amy > > > > > > barrycove@ > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 I have fond memories of holidays with my dad's extended family, always at someone else's house. Took me years to figure out why we never had company! As the families grew, no one had a house big enough, so my nada would host. TORTURE! Stress, drama, you know the drill. And downright depressing. We dutifully made the trip, my ex was from another culture and while he understood the holiday concept, he couldn't understand my family dynamics. We moved about 4 hours away, and divorced shortly after. Each year, the kids and I would make the pilgrimage. Thankfully, we could stay with my grandparents, wonderful nurturing people--everything you would hope grandparents would be. My kids adored them. But spending any time at nada's was so painful! As soon as the oldest kid had a holiday job, and I had to work the next day, I decided to host my own Thanksgiving. A few times, it was just my kids and I, but since I was a single working parent/college student, we cherished any time we could just relax and enjoy each other's company. Sometimes we'd go to a movie, and once we even went to the zoo! There are certain dishes that my kids " require " , guess that's part of the tradition. Each year, I extend the invitation to others, coworkers, friends, even the guy that cuts my hair (well, he's become a friend!) Now I have a significant other, and he doesn't have much family of his own, but one of his oldest friends always joins us. My son in law is in the military, and they can't make it home for most holidays (miss those grandbabies!) But his dad joins us. My son has to work on TG, but I'm hoping his girlfriend and her family will join us. Sorry for rambling. What I'm trying to say is that TG is what you make it. I wanted my kids to have some family traditions, since my FOO really didn't have any, and it was guaranteed to be tense, and leaving me feeling sad and like I was missing something. And I really feel sad if I think someone I know is alone that day. It took a few years, but TG is now really the only holiday I truly get excited about. (Well, maybe NYE!) As for nada, she'll have dinner at the assisted living. And I don't feel bad about that. I know I'll hear about it anyway, that the food was lousy, how come my sister (NC) never calls her, etc etc etc. Oh well. She'd do the same thing if we were there, or she was able to make the trip here. My wish for you is that you feel the love of your husband and kids that day, and create some new traditions. That will be something you and your kids look back on in years to come, and hopefully, when they're grown, the traditions will carry on! Nana > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel lonely on these days. > > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who seemed " misplaced " . > > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's something I really miss. > > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > > Amy > > > barrycove@... > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 Good for you! I hope you create a wonderful music room/den that will bring you much more enjoyment than forced, awkward, dutiful family dinners that aren't appreciated. > > > > > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > > > > > > > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel lonely on these days. > > > > > > > > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who seemed " misplaced " . > > > > > > > > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > > > > > > > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's something I really miss. > > > > > > > > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > > > > > > > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > > > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > > > > > > > > Amy > > > > > > > > > barrycove@ > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 Amy, i know how you feel. For me, it's not so much that I'm not seeing family, but that we get together and there's a great deal of underlying anger, resentment, etc. It's not a happy occasion for me and I can't wait for everyone to leave. you're not an idiot at all. Who doesn't want things to be ok and loving and connected with their family? I wish you a peaceful, healing holiday. Maybe, if you see a therapist, you could see them a bit more during the holiday season? That helped me last year. It was very stressful. > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel lonely on these days. > > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who seemed " misplaced " . > > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's something I really miss. > > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > > Amy > > > barrycove@... > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 11, 2011 Report Share Posted November 11, 2011 Thank you all for some great suggestions and insight. I know that I long for what can never be...and I really have a hard time with letting go...but it's a must do, for everyone's sake...especially my kids. I appreciate all of your advice and heartwarming replies. Thank you. Amy barrycove@... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 12, 2011 Report Share Posted November 12, 2011 Thanksgiving has always been a rough holiday for me/family. Fada always explodes, and it's gotten to the point where other relatives don't even want to be around for holidays. They make up excuses - -sometimes fada's own PARENTS figure out ways to avoid these traumatic gatherings. One thing I'd recommend is an Al-Anon meeting, specifically one that focuses on adult children. They're usually welcoming of people who have had a " Dry drunk " in the family if your nada or fada didn't drink, and the themes that come up are very similar to that of living with a parent with bpd. It's a free, non-judgmental open space and meetings are going on nearly every day so you can drop in the day right after Tgiving So grateful for this group... > > > > I don't know if any of you feel this way too, but Thanksgiving has become a very sad holiday for me. Yes, I have a great husband and great kids, but because of the disintegration of my original family, nobody values this holiday anymore and nobody gets together. > > > > > > I am the only idiot who misses family and I let it bother me. My friends all get together with their families for Thanksgiving, so there is nobody to choose from to come over or for us to go to someone's house. I feel lonely on these days. > > > > > > Sometimes I avoid it altogether and we go away...one year we ate in a restaurant...it was very sad to me when I looked around at the people who seemed " misplaced " . > > > > > > Thanksgiving used to be fun, happy...we all wanted to be together...but now, because of this borderline stuff, the family has broken to bits. > > > > > > When my kids ask who is coming over for Thanksgiving, I choke back tears of sadness and embarrassment when I answer " it'll be just us tonight. " I try to say it in a fun way to cover my missing it. I try not to feel embarrassed that we have no one coming over...no one missing us enough to invite us. I know I make too big a deal of this, in the scheme of things,....everything could be worse...this is really nothing...but it's something I really miss. > > > > > > Life after borderline sucks sometimes. > > > > > > I wish all of you things to feel happy about at this time of year. > > I need to put this in perspective and cheer up. > > > > > > Amy > > > > > > barrycove@ > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 13, 2011 Report Share Posted November 13, 2011 Amy, It sounds like you have a beautiful family! I just read your post to my husband...it made us both smile. The 4 mile run sounds like a great tradition. One my husband would love to adopt. We also have 13 year old twins! More in common. We have 4 kids. Our oldest is 18 (boy), twins 13 (boys) and a 4 year old daughter. We are trying to navigate through our first Holiday Season without Nada and Dad (at some point she is going to have a FIT that we are not coming to them or we say no to them coming for a visit here). I have felt a little sad at times that our FOO is not healthy. But then I think of all the blessings and my wonderful little family. I have a supportive husband who is so ready to be honest with Nada. He has asked for permission several times. I have felt bad for our kids because my parents are their only grandparents. My husband's mother is a complete nut. He has no contact with any of his immediate family. We talked to our twins today about their GrandNada (that is what she is....truly). I felt a little guilty but they need to know why we are setting up healthy boundaries. Here's to a beautiful Thanksgiving with our little families. We like to play games too. Our oldest is flying home on the 18th. Everyone is so excited!!! TTH > > All great suggestions. I am so grateful for everything I do have. My triplets are 17 and my twins are 13...and my husband is a great person. I have so much. It's funny how your brain plays tricks on you after so many years of isolation...no matter how many people I actually have around me, I somehow feel alone in a very deep way. Hopefully, one day, my gentle heart will feel the love it truly needs. > > > We started a Thanksgiving tradition 3 years ago...we run the Thanksgiving 4 mile run in our town...and that starts the day off right...that saves me. > > > I love just eating with my family, playing games...yet somewhere in my head, I know I would have my extended original family with me if the borderline thing had never happened. I have to stop wallowing!!! > > > Thank you all for your suggestions and sincere care. > > > Amy > > > barrycove@... > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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