I think she REALLY doesn't remember

[Guest guest]

Hi, all. It's been awhile since I was on here. But I've been realizing of late

that my nada really doesn't remember the crap she's pulled over the years. Like,

really does not remember it. We were talking about air travel to my husbands

hometown and she did not remember that she flew out of there in 2007 - after a

MAJOR meltdown that we now refer to as the Christmas from Hell. I was afraid to

ask, but I don't think she even remembers BEING there for SEVERAL days. Spooky.

And she has made several little comments lately that leave me thinking she has

completely sanitized my childhood Her little tips and attempts at empathy -

and worse - suggesting that basically, she enjoys me struggling with my son who

is " just like you at that age " pissed me off so much I've all but blocked her on

fb. (She only sees the posts for the general public). I know I am not alone in

this situation but it is FRIGGIN WEIRD!!!!!!! And I feel angry that she lives

in a little happy world while I have all the ugly scenes still in my head.

Anyway, that's all. Gotta go check out the board for kids of narcissists

now...dad is coming for thanksgiving. Oh. Happy. Friggin. Day.

[Guest guest]

That's how they are I'm afraid. They live in a world of self-delusion and wish

fulfillment.

I caught mine actually editing reality on the fly once - I was giving him a hard

time and he " thought " I was referring to *myself*. In some way that was a

turning point for me; realising that he was a lot more messed up than I had

already realised. Of course this is why I have gone NC. Good luck to you!

>

> Hi, all. It's been awhile since I was on here. But I've been realizing of late

that my nada really doesn't remember the crap she's pulled over the years. Like,

really does not remember it. We were talking about air travel to my husbands

hometown and she did not remember that she flew out of there in 2007 - after a

MAJOR meltdown that we now refer to as the Christmas from Hell. I was afraid to

ask, but I don't think she even remembers BEING there for SEVERAL days. Spooky.

And she has made several little comments lately that leave me thinking she has

completely sanitized my childhood Her little tips and attempts at empathy -

and worse - suggesting that basically, she enjoys me struggling with my son who

is " just like you at that age " pissed me off so much I've all but blocked her on

fb. (She only sees the posts for the general public). I know I am not alone in

this situation but it is FRIGGIN WEIRD!!!!!!! And I feel angry that she lives

in a little happy world while I have all the ugly scenes still in my head.

Anyway, that's all. Gotta go check out the board for kids of narcissists

now...dad is coming for thanksgiving. Oh. Happy. Friggin. Day.

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, whatever is the cause of this behavior (it could be simply denial, or

lying, or it could be bpd-related dissociation, or it could be an early sign of

dementia) its very, very crazy-making to be around a person who does this

frequently. You are basically being told by your nada that down is up, and blue

is orange. It takes a lot of inner strength and self-esteem and just plain guts

to be around someone who is into re-writing history, and telling you that you

are the villain. It really helps to (a) keep a diary/blog, and ( have

witnesses who can validate your reality.

Every individual is different, but, for what its worth, my nada was always

re-writing history. A few years back, I started noticing that nada was

starting to not remember the good things. She was always able to remember good

stuff, times that she enjoyed herself, but she began not remembering the good

things a couple of years ago, and now she's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's

dementia.

Even non-pd people will have memories of the same incident that vary in detail

and perspective somewhat from individual to individual, because each of us puts

our own personal spin on reality. But if your nada is denying that an incident

ever even happened, or she is denying a chronic behavior she's always had, or

denying that she said something right after she said it, then, that's different

in my opinion.

Best of luck with this, it can be very stressful.

-Annie

>

> Hi, all. It's been awhile since I was on here. But I've been realizing of late

that my nada really doesn't remember the crap she's pulled over the years. Like,

really does not remember it. We were talking about air travel to my husbands

hometown and she did not remember that she flew out of there in 2007 - after a

MAJOR meltdown that we now refer to as the Christmas from Hell. I was afraid to

ask, but I don't think she even remembers BEING there for SEVERAL days. Spooky.

And she has made several little comments lately that leave me thinking she has

completely sanitized my childhood Her little tips and attempts at empathy -

and worse - suggesting that basically, she enjoys me struggling with my son who

is " just like you at that age " pissed me off so much I've all but blocked her on

fb. (She only sees the posts for the general public). I know I am not alone in

this situation but it is FRIGGIN WEIRD!!!!!!! And I feel angry that she lives

in a little happy world while I have all the ugly scenes still in my head.

Anyway, that's all. Gotta go check out the board for kids of narcissists

now...dad is coming for thanksgiving. Oh. Happy. Friggin. Day.

>

[Guest guest]

I *always* get the " Oh, you weren't talking about yourself? "

WEIRD!

I've taken to count. When pressed mine is up to 17 fantasy corrective maneuvers

(lies) in the space of five minutes. Like the one the topic mentioned " What I

see you're experiencing makes me so happy! " It often feels likes my face is

filling up with mud.

>

> That's how they are I'm afraid. They live in a world of self-delusion and wish

fulfillment.

>

> I caught mine actually editing reality on the fly once - I was giving him a

hard time and he " thought " I was referring to *myself*. In some way that was a

turning point for me; realising that he was a lot more messed up than I had

already realised. Of course this is why I have gone NC. Good luck to you!

[Guest guest]

Oh, Miss Scarlet,

The " face filling with mud " analogy is really descriptive!

I've wondered if the " I thought you were talking about yourself "

response wasn't the adult BPDs form of the old " I know you are but what

am I? " defense, a lot like a snotty little kid, which in many ways, they

are. Snotty, lying, manipulative, hungry vampire children. Gives me

creeping fits!.

I don't know why we even bother to talk to them, since we get shouted down

by the voices in their heads. Its really disheartening. I guess what peaves

me the most, is that when really, really pushed into a corner, My Nada will

admit she lied, but justify it with her BPD diagnosis! Someone just shoot

me.

Sunspot

> **

>

>

> I *always* get the " Oh, you weren't talking about yourself? "

>

> WEIRD!

>

> I've taken to count. When pressed mine is up to 17 fantasy corrective

> maneuvers (lies) in the space of five minutes. Like the one the topic

> mentioned " What I see you're experiencing makes me so happy! " It often

> feels likes my face is filling up with mud.

>

>

>

> >

> > That's how they are I'm afraid. They live in a world of self-delusion

> and wish fulfillment.

> >

> > I caught mine actually editing reality on the fly once - I was giving

> him a hard time and he " thought " I was referring to *myself*. In some way

> that was a turning point for me; realising that he was a lot more messed up

> than I had already realised. Of course this is why I have gone NC. Good

> luck to you!

>

>

>