Stop messing with my working!

[Guest guest]

I won't stew in it! I'll write it here.

I tend to prepare for conversations with the BP mom. Last night, I was

unprepared, and talked about my resume efforts. I've bumped around a lot, it's a

challenge to get the details in a positive light. I should have been more

generous with myself and waited to talk to her later. I used to have a high

powered job some 7-8 years ago, and the industry in this area is now strongly

hiring for it. So I think " It's hard, it's a real decision, but I should. " I

should conquer all those years being imperfect, and try, concentrate, I'm older.

I can do this!

The job would make anyone an idiot if they didn't try. The pay is wild, the

demand is high, there's a kind of coal-miner's excitement to be the first to

plumb everything. I feel kind of cheated that I suddenly saw on her face how she

didn't care. She'll never have that A-type personality that gets excited by

ambition. I felt the plunge, but rallied up again and said " Yes, the resume is

brilliant and the people in the field seem hungry! Should be all pluses. "

Then she said " Oh, my " ... laughing... " I really do hope they give you somewhere

private, all alone, all by yourself, just with the computer, where you can

hunker down and talk to nobody all day long and just do _your_ _thing_. "

.... Flabbergasted! What the heck moonshine bulls**t dream is she smoking on? Who

gets a butt-ton of money these days to sit alone and be anti-social? Where does

she get that kind of courage to spill out that insanity? I couldn't barely

speak. " What? " I literally lost all the feeling in my face. " What? There's no

chance of that job even existing. " That's what I should have said.

Instead it was all a blur after that, and a day later the poison of those

implications is still rolling about.

- all alone

- all by yourself

- talk to nobody

- all day talk to nobody

- and do your special _thing_

..... Sickening. Actually sickening.

Of course I explained any well-paid position has multiple interview layers, and

that getting my hopes up for something so asinine as throwing thousands of

dollars at me just so I could have no human interaction, was something that's

never existed... Blagh! I'm spinning. Same thing. What? What?

I feel like for sure I heard the slur though. The hate. I read in a Dr.

Schlessinger book that when an adult goes " Huh? What? " or " Now I don't know... "

when just moments before they did know - that's a full signal the parent was

severely miserable on the kid growing up. That there was a real denial of

reality, a real actual screwing.

But just saying it " Oh, my mum trolled others for their feelings, views and

companionship constantly, and if she sensed someone wasn't comfortable she made

up a story based on what she saw they were doing. That's how my perfectly

normal, acceptable, even laudable like for book reading came to be a case

history development for the anti-social daughter who just " likes to do her _own_

_thing_ " . "

Emphasis all hers. How is privacy so threatening that she give mixed messages to

make a prison type basement cubicle job for a strongly disliked employee that

hiring can't get around to firing, sound luxurious. Because that's how she

described it. Got her emotions all happy up and 'supportive' and said " Golly, I

hope they show you the dog house! "

" I sure do hope they keep you out of sight! "

#@$^@# & ^% & @#%!^#* & ^!@ & %$*#@^%@#$

Scarlet

[Guest guest]

My speculation (and I could be wrong) is that you have a classic " Witch " -type

bpd nada (from the book " Understanding The Borderline Mother " ) which is a

mother who has antisocial pd traits mixed in with her bpd. This is a very dark

and scary type of nada who actively resents or even hates her child and takes

pleasure in doing things that will hurt the child. Witch bpds feel entitled to

" get back " at their child for perceived disrespect, perceived lack of gratitude

on the child's part, etc.

Witch nada will attempt to destroy her child's self-esteem, will attempt to

sabotage her child's relationships with other people or her opportunities, will

make efforts to thwart her child's progress, or otherwise attempt to emotionally

cripple her child so the child will fail. Her child's failure secretly makes

Witch nada very, very happy.

The advice in the book " Understanding the Borderline Mother " is (I think, but

correct me if I'm wrong here, those of you who have copies) is to get away from

the Witch. Put space between you and the Witch. Do not share deep, personal,

meaningful information with the Witch, who is incapable of real human empathy or

compassion. She will use these things to hurt you, somehow, or die trying.

The Witch does not wish you well, even if she tells you she does. The Witch is

a liar. If her lips are moving, she is lying to you.

Its sad, even depressing, but the child of the Witch needs to look for empathy,

compassion, validation and love from some other source. The Witch can't provide

those things for her child; that well is dry. And she may even try to hurt you

for asking for those things from her, and then shame you or laugh at you for

being hurt.

I think your plans to get back into a lucrative and rewarding field are awesome.

I hope you will share your progress with us here so we can give you validation

and support and be your cheerleaders. My suggestion is to keep any future

conversations with your nada restricted to the weather and the price of

gasoline; very superficial.

Hugs to you, dear. Having a real Witch for a mother sucks. But we can go

forward and have a good, satisfying, rewarding life without her; in fact, we

deserve this.

-Annie

>

> I won't stew in it! I'll write it here.

>

> I tend to prepare for conversations with the BP mom. Last night, I was

unprepared, and talked about my resume efforts. I've bumped around a lot, it's a

challenge to get the details in a positive light. I should have been more

generous with myself and waited to talk to her later. I used to have a high

powered job some 7-8 years ago, and the industry in this area is now strongly

hiring for it. So I think " It's hard, it's a real decision, but I should. " I

should conquer all those years being imperfect, and try, concentrate, I'm older.

I can do this!

>

> The job would make anyone an idiot if they didn't try. The pay is wild, the

demand is high, there's a kind of coal-miner's excitement to be the first to

plumb everything. I feel kind of cheated that I suddenly saw on her face how she

didn't care. She'll never have that A-type personality that gets excited by

ambition. I felt the plunge, but rallied up again and said " Yes, the resume is

brilliant and the people in the field seem hungry! Should be all pluses. "

>

> Then she said " Oh, my " ... laughing... " I really do hope they give you

somewhere private, all alone, all by yourself, just with the computer, where you

can hunker down and talk to nobody all day long and just do _your_ _thing_. "

>

> ... Flabbergasted! What the heck moonshine bulls**t dream is she smoking on?

Who gets a butt-ton of money these days to sit alone and be anti-social? Where

does she get that kind of courage to spill out that insanity? I couldn't barely

speak. " What? " I literally lost all the feeling in my face. " What? There's no

chance of that job even existing. " That's what I should have said.

>

> Instead it was all a blur after that, and a day later the poison of those

implications is still rolling about.

> - all alone

> - all by yourself

> - talk to nobody

> - all day talk to nobody

> - and do your special _thing_

>

> .... Sickening. Actually sickening.

>

> Of course I explained any well-paid position has multiple interview layers,

and that getting my hopes up for something so asinine as throwing thousands of

dollars at me just so I could have no human interaction, was something that's

never existed... Blagh! I'm spinning. Same thing. What? What?

>

> I feel like for sure I heard the slur though. The hate. I read in a Dr.

Schlessinger book that when an adult goes " Huh? What? " or " Now I don't know... "

when just moments before they did know - that's a full signal the parent was

severely miserable on the kid growing up. That there was a real denial of

reality, a real actual screwing.

>

> But just saying it " Oh, my mum trolled others for their feelings, views and

companionship constantly, and if she sensed someone wasn't comfortable she made

up a story based on what she saw they were doing. That's how my perfectly

normal, acceptable, even laudable like for book reading came to be a case

history development for the anti-social daughter who just " likes to do her _own_

_thing_ " . "

>

> Emphasis all hers. How is privacy so threatening that she give mixed messages

to make a prison type basement cubicle job for a strongly disliked employee that

hiring can't get around to firing, sound luxurious. Because that's how she

described it. Got her emotions all happy up and 'supportive' and said " Golly, I

hope they show you the dog house! "

>

> " I sure do hope they keep you out of sight! "

>

> #@$^@# & ^% & @#%!^#* & ^!@ & %$*#@^%@#$

>

> Scarlet

>

[Guest guest]

Yes there are narcisistic mothers, selfish mothers, crafty mothers and

mothers who should never have been allowed to keep their kids in the first

place. Those who are not saddled with such a parent have no idea.

I have often spoken about the way my witch of a mother is and had people

say oh she has become funny because of her age (she was the same when aged

20) or it must be her way of showing you she cares.

The most ridiculous comment I have ever heard is when you say that your

mother is spiteful and nasty to you and the person says that if you TELL them

this is hurtful they will say sorry and stop! They are doing it BECAUSE

it is nasty, they will not be surprised to hear this.

I stay in touch with my mother but I cope by not living near her and having

boundaries. I have never had any help, support or love from her and I am

very cautious about how much time and love I give her now. It is that or

becoming a victim.

[Guest guest]

Scarlet,

I think Annie is dead on here. You go girl and don't look back! But, keep us

posted!

> >

> > I won't stew in it! I'll write it here.

> >

> > I tend to prepare for conversations with the BP mom. Last night, I was

unprepared, and talked about my resume efforts. I've bumped around a lot, it's a

challenge to get the details in a positive light. I should have been more

generous with myself and waited to talk to her later. I used to have a high

powered job some 7-8 years ago, and the industry in this area is now strongly

hiring for it. So I think " It's hard, it's a real decision, but I should. " I

should conquer all those years being imperfect, and try, concentrate, I'm older.

I can do this!

> >

> > The job would make anyone an idiot if they didn't try. The pay is wild, the

demand is high, there's a kind of coal-miner's excitement to be the first to

plumb everything. I feel kind of cheated that I suddenly saw on her face how she

didn't care. She'll never have that A-type personality that gets excited by

ambition. I felt the plunge, but rallied up again and said " Yes, the resume is

brilliant and the people in the field seem hungry! Should be all pluses. "

> >

> > Then she said " Oh, my " ... laughing... " I really do hope they give you

somewhere private, all alone, all by yourself, just with the computer, where you

can hunker down and talk to nobody all day long and just do _your_ _thing_. "

> >

> > ... Flabbergasted! What the heck moonshine bulls**t dream is she smoking on?

Who gets a butt-ton of money these days to sit alone and be anti-social? Where

does she get that kind of courage to spill out that insanity? I couldn't barely

speak. " What? " I literally lost all the feeling in my face. " What? There's no

chance of that job even existing. " That's what I should have said.

> >

> > Instead it was all a blur after that, and a day later the poison of those

implications is still rolling about.

> > - all alone

> > - all by yourself

> > - talk to nobody

> > - all day talk to nobody

> > - and do your special _thing_

> >

> > .... Sickening. Actually sickening.

> >

> > Of course I explained any well-paid position has multiple interview layers,

and that getting my hopes up for something so asinine as throwing thousands of

dollars at me just so I could have no human interaction, was something that's

never existed... Blagh! I'm spinning. Same thing. What? What?

> >

> > I feel like for sure I heard the slur though. The hate. I read in a Dr.

Schlessinger book that when an adult goes " Huh? What? " or " Now I don't

know... " when just moments before they did know - that's a full signal the

parent was severely miserable on the kid growing up. That there was a real

denial of reality, a real actual screwing.

> >

> > But just saying it " Oh, my mum trolled others for their feelings, views and

companionship constantly, and if she sensed someone wasn't comfortable she made

up a story based on what she saw they were doing. That's how my perfectly

normal, acceptable, even laudable like for book reading came to be a case

history development for the anti-social daughter who just " likes to do her _own_

_thing_ " . "

> >

> > Emphasis all hers. How is privacy so threatening that she give mixed

messages to make a prison type basement cubicle job for a strongly disliked

employee that hiring can't get around to firing, sound luxurious. Because that's

how she described it. Got her emotions all happy up and 'supportive' and said

" Golly, I hope they show you the dog house! "

> >

> > " I sure do hope they keep you out of sight! "

> >

> > #@$^@# & ^% & @#%!^#* & ^!@ & %$*#@^%@#$

> >

> > Scarlet

> >

>

[Guest guest]

As the daughter of a witch I agree, but there's also probalby some jealousy

mixed in there. You go for it, and doing well is the best revenge

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Monday, November 14, 2011 12:23 AM

Subject: Re: Stop messing with my working!

Â

Scarlet,

I think Annie is dead on here. You go girl and don't look back! But, keep us

posted!

> >

> > I won't stew in it! I'll write it here.

> >

> > I tend to prepare for conversations with the BP mom. Last night, I was

unprepared, and talked about my resume efforts. I've bumped around a lot, it's a

challenge to get the details in a positive light. I should have been more

generous with myself and waited to talk to her later. I used to have a high

powered job some 7-8 years ago, and the industry in this area is now strongly

hiring for it. So I think " It's hard, it's a real decision, but I should. " I

should conquer all those years being imperfect, and try, concentrate, I'm older.

I can do this!

> >

> > The job would make anyone an idiot if they didn't try. The pay is wild, the

demand is high, there's a kind of coal-miner's excitement to be the first to

plumb everything. I feel kind of cheated that I suddenly saw on her face how she

didn't care. She'll never have that A-type personality that gets excited by

ambition. I felt the plunge, but rallied up again and said " Yes, the resume is

brilliant and the people in the field seem hungry! Should be all pluses. "

> >

> > Then she said " Oh, my " ... laughing... " I really do hope they give you

somewhere private, all alone, all by yourself, just with the computer, where you

can hunker down and talk to nobody all day long and just do _your_ _thing_. "

> >

> > ... Flabbergasted! What the heck moonshine bulls**t dream is she smoking on?

Who gets a butt-ton of money these days to sit alone and be anti-social? Where

does she get that kind of courage to spill out that insanity? I couldn't barely

speak. " What? " I literally lost all the feeling in my face. " What? There's no

chance of that job even existing. " That's what I should have said.

> >

> > Instead it was all a blur after that, and a day later the poison of those

implications is still rolling about.

> > - all alone

> > - all by yourself

> > - talk to nobody

> > - all day talk to nobody

> > - and do your special _thing_

> >

> > .... Sickening. Actually sickening.

> >

> > Of course I explained any well-paid position has multiple interview layers,

and that getting my hopes up for something so asinine as throwing thousands of

dollars at me just so I could have no human interaction, was something that's

never existed... Blagh! I'm spinning. Same thing. What? What?

> >

> > I feel like for sure I heard the slur though. The hate. I read in a Dr.

Schlessinger book that when an adult goes " Huh? What? " or " Now I don't

know... " when just moments before they did know - that's a full signal the

parent was severely miserable on the kid growing up. That there was a real

denial of reality, a real actual screwing.

> >

> > But just saying it " Oh, my mum trolled others for their feelings, views and

companionship constantly, and if she sensed someone wasn't comfortable she made

up a story based on what she saw they were doing. That's how my perfectly

normal, acceptable, even laudable like for book reading came to be a case

history development for the anti-social daughter who just " likes to do her _own_

_thing_ " . "

> >

> > Emphasis all hers. How is privacy so threatening that she give mixed

messages to make a prison type basement cubicle job for a strongly disliked

employee that hiring can't get around to firing, sound luxurious. Because that's

how she described it. Got her emotions all happy up and 'supportive' and said

" Golly, I hope they show you the dog house! "

> >

> > " I sure do hope they keep you out of sight! "

> >

> > #@$^@# & ^% & @#%!^#* & ^!@ & %$*#@^%@#$

> >

> > Scarlet

> >

>