Re: More crazy

[Guest guest]

OMG yes I think I would press charges - the thing is - your kids live there

too. Pretend its a stranger . . . would you? I kinda think they want you

to. . cuz that's over the top

On Tue, Nov 15, 2011 at 4:08 PM, writermanque wrote:

> **

>

>

> I'm NC around 4 years because my parents saw fit to make disparaging

> comments about my kids to their faces and then make fun of/insult/harrass

> me and my husband for having an issue with that. Today is middle child's

> birthday. While we were at work and the kids were at school, my parents

> erected a huge hand-painted plywood sign in my front yard which said " Happy

> Birthday [middle child]! Love, Grandma and Grandpa [last name] " . It was

> tightly secured to the ground with three pieces of rebar. Yes, we took

> pictures for documentation. Yes, we took the sign down as soon as we could.

> But man. I am incredibly creeped out.

>

> So, my question for the group: to press charges of trespassing/harrassment

> or not? I have a log of two other separate instances where they've shown up

> uninvited and now photo evidence that they've placed signs on my lawn

> without permission. My husband thinks it will provoke them more, but

> frankly, if it does, I want them in jail. What do you guys think?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I know that if this was happening to me, I'd get a restraining order, but I'm

single with no kids. You're going to have to figure out whether playing

hard-ball would work for YOU, in your situation. If it makes your pd parents

escalate their harassment/stalking and trespassing behaviors are you prepared

to actually follow through with having them arrested and possibly taking them to

court for a public trial? Are you ready for the polarization of your friends,

neighbors, co-workers and other family members if this should become a news item

in your area, and how that notoriety might impact your kids? If you are ready

for total, permanent No Contact with the insufferable 'rents, then, I'd say, go

for the restraining order.

-Annie

>

> I'm NC around 4 years because my parents saw fit to make disparaging comments

about my kids to their faces and then make fun of/insult/harrass me and my

husband for having an issue with that. Today is middle child's birthday. While

we were at work and the kids were at school, my parents erected a huge

hand-painted plywood sign in my front yard which said " Happy Birthday [middle

child]! Love, Grandma and Grandpa [last name] " . It was tightly secured to the

ground with three pieces of rebar. Yes, we took pictures for documentation. Yes,

we took the sign down as soon as we could. But man. I am incredibly creeped out.

>

> So, my question for the group: to press charges of trespassing/harrassment or

not? I have a log of two other separate instances where they've shown up

uninvited and now photo evidence that they've placed signs on my lawn without

permission. My husband thinks it will provoke them more, but frankly, if it

does, I want them in jail. What do you guys think?

>

[Guest guest]

I can't tell you what to do. But if that happened to me, I'd be talking to a

lawyer or the police.

Sveta

[Guest guest]

I concur with Annie - a friend of mine went the leagl route with her BPD ex

husband and it got pretty ugly. He stlaked her daughter in the mall and went

round the small town they live in juys assassinating her character to all who

would listen. The good news is she held to her truth and they survived the

onslaught publicly and legally. She now has a no-contact order on him. She

actually did find out who her friends were and who aren't. She and her daughter

are very happy now but it was a long process.

Koko

> >

> > I'm NC around 4 years because my parents saw fit to make disparaging

comments about my kids to their faces and then make fun of/insult/harrass me and

my husband for having an issue with that. Today is middle child's birthday.

While we were at work and the kids were at school, my parents erected a huge

hand-painted plywood sign in my front yard which said " Happy Birthday [middle

child]! Love, Grandma and Grandpa [last name] " . It was tightly secured to the

ground with three pieces of rebar. Yes, we took pictures for documentation. Yes,

we took the sign down as soon as we could. But man. I am incredibly creeped out.

> >

> > So, my question for the group: to press charges of trespassing/harrassment

or not? I have a log of two other separate instances where they've shown up

uninvited and now photo evidence that they've placed signs on my lawn without

permission. My husband thinks it will provoke them more, but frankly, if it

does, I want them in jail. What do you guys think?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I would talk to the police as well. From what I understand it can be a long

process to get the restraining order, but it's good to start documenting these

things now. Your children are too important. I have a 3 year old and I know

that what gives me the strength to sort through my issues w/ my family is a

sincere hope that he will never know or experience this kind of crazy.

Good luck. I know this stuff isn't easy.

>

> I can't tell you what to do. But if that happened to me, I'd be talking to a

lawyer or the police.

>

> Sveta

>

[Guest guest]

I think that talking to the police about this and finding out

what it takes to get a restraining order where you live would be

good. Knowing what options you have is a good idea even if you

don't choose to pursue action of that type at this time.

Erecting a " happy birthday " sign is not exactly the type of

thing that most people would see as threatening so the

punishment involved if you do pursue it may not be worth the

trouble and consequences. Talking to the police will help to

establish a pattern of problems with your parents even if you

don't pursue it trespassing charges. Your husband is probably

right about provoking them but it doesn't sound like they need

any provoking to make them misbehave.

At 06:08 PM 11/15/2011 writermanque wrote:

>I'm NC around 4 years because my parents saw fit to make

>disparaging comments about my kids to their faces and then make

>fun of/insult/harrass me and my husband for having an issue

>with that. Today is middle child's birthday. While we were at

>work and the kids were at school, my parents erected a huge

>hand-painted plywood sign in my front yard which said " Happy

>Birthday [middle child]! Love, Grandma and Grandpa [last

>name] " . It was tightly secured to the ground with three pieces

>of rebar. Yes, we took pictures for documentation. Yes, we took

>the sign down as soon as we could. But man. I am incredibly

>creeped out.

>

>So, my question for the group: to press charges of

>trespassing/harrassment or not? I have a log of two other

>separate instances where they've shown up uninvited and now

>photo evidence that they've placed signs on my lawn without

>permission. My husband thinks it will provoke them more, but

>frankly, if it does, I want them in jail. What do you guys

>think?

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

I also suggest consulting a lawyer. Its such a conundrum if parties engaged in

harassing and stalking you are not physically threatening to you, not making

threats to beat you up, shoot you or cut you, not engaging in vandalism

(destruction of property), are not threatening to kidnap your children, etc.

Although entering your property in order to erect a rather permanent-sounding

construction/sign could possibly be considered vandalism and WOULD be considered

trespassing at the very least, I would think.

Maybe a one-hour consult with a good lawyer would be worth the investment; a

lawyer would know about the anti-stalking laws in your area (anti-stalking laws

vary from state to state, and some states don't have them.) A lawyer would be

able to advise you about the kinds of behaviors to document RE your parents

(toward the goal of getting a restraining order) and would probably ask you if

there are any neighbors, friends and others (such as your kids' teachers/school

principal) who would would be willing to act as witnesses for you.

I empathize with your feelings of anxiety and frustration. I was stalked and

harassed for about three years via the Internet by an ex-friend who created an

anonymous ID, joined all the various hobby Groups I belonged to on the Internet

(none of the bpd groups, though) and began targeting me with bizarre posts:

overly-friendly then insulting. It took me nearly a year to figure out who the

crazy poster was, then another 2 YEARS of ignoring the posts for my former

friend to finally lose interest. And even just VIRTUAL stalking and harassment

was stressful and anxiety-provoking, for me. Like your parents, my stalker

never made overt threats of physical harm. She was skating on the edge by

saying that she was planning to show up at various hobby-related events that I

would be attending, but, she never overtly threatened to harm me. Making

threats of harm are what get the police interested.

But you are enduring in-person stalking and harassment from your own parents.

You already have a great deal of courage, and I wish for you all the strength

and endurance you need, and for their abuse to stop.

-Annie

> >I'm NC around 4 years because my parents saw fit to make

> >disparaging comments about my kids to their faces and then make

> >fun of/insult/harrass me and my husband for having an issue

> >with that. Today is middle child's birthday. While we were at

> >work and the kids were at school, my parents erected a huge

> >hand-painted plywood sign in my front yard which said " Happy

> >Birthday [middle child]! Love, Grandma and Grandpa [last

> >name] " . It was tightly secured to the ground with three pieces

> >of rebar. Yes, we took pictures for documentation. Yes, we took

> >the sign down as soon as we could. But man. I am incredibly

> >creeped out.

> >

> >So, my question for the group: to press charges of

> >trespassing/harrassment or not? I have a log of two other

> >separate instances where they've shown up uninvited and now

> >photo evidence that they've placed signs on my lawn without

> >permission. My husband thinks it will provoke them more, but

> >frankly, if it does, I want them in jail. What do you guys

> >think?

>

> --

> Katrina

>