Guest guest Posted November 3, 2010 Report Share Posted November 3, 2010 Sorry I've been so quiet but I've not been feeling very well for the last month or two. Also am just getting over a bout of ON which for me, makes reading and writing impossible. Its like double vision except with stain glassed windows with cracks of piercing painful light rays passing through. And fatigue ... I've had days when I've literally slept 20 out of 24 hours. And of course not been eating right, etc. Add to that I've finally admitted I've downright depressed and worried about money ... this house is like a ? (forget the word) on my back and I don't have the $'s to finish the upgrades to sell it. has offered to lend me some money which I'd repay when it sold but I keep remembering my mother's words "never lend to a friend or relative". I felt really bad but I had to borrow enough to pay this month's mortgage. I look around at all the 'things that have to be done' and I get so down that so many of them are things I used to be able to do with no thought. Like hanging new verticals on the empty patio door, etc. I'm worried about ... his back condition is degenerating and his neck has been really bad lately despite chiropractic and acupuncture. Today is my middle daughter's 34th BD and it's been 10 yrs since we've spoken. And I'm feeling twinges of the old agoraphobia since I'm so stuck in the house. And last one, my mobility is getting worse as in the incontinence . I used to do the Kiegels regularly but it's like there's no feeling anymore. Sorry maybe TMI Sorry for all 'babble'. I was not going to mention it all but not mentioning it feels wrong. I think of you all and to any newcomers, a big hello from NW Ontario, Canada. Hopefully I'll get a chance to wade through my 6000+emails ... why do I still stay in stitching groups when I haven't picked up a needle in ages! ... hugs, Cait Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2010 Report Share Posted November 3, 2010 Ah Hun I am so sorry you are depressed, I hope it gets better soon. If you need anything please let us know. ~*~Hugs~*~ ~*~Akiba~*~ -- Warning DNR if depressed Sorry I've been so quiet but I've not been feeling very well for the last month or two. Also am just getting over a bout of ON which for me, makes reading and writing impossible. Its like double vision except with stain glassed windows with cracks of piercing painful light rays passing through. And fatigue ... I've had days when I've literally slept 20 out of 24 hours. And of course not been eating right, etc. Add to that I've finally admitted I've downright depressed and worried about money ... this house is like a ? (forget the word) on my back and I don't have the $'s to finish the upgrades to sell it. has offered to lend me some money which I'd repay when it sold but I keep remembering my mother's words "never lend to a friend or relative". I felt really bad but I had to borrow enough to pay this month's mortgage. I look around at all the 'things that have to be done' and I get so down that so many of them are things I used to be able to do with no thought. Like hanging new verticals on the empty patio door, etc. I'm worried about ... his back condition is degenerating and his neck has been really bad lately despite chiropractic and acupuncture. Today is my middle daughter's 34th BD and it's been 10 yrs since we've spoken. And I'm feeling twinges of the old agoraphobia since I'm so stuck in the house. And last one, my mobility is getting worse as in the incontinence . I used to do the Kiegels regularly but it's like there's no feeling anymore. Sorry maybe TMI Sorry for all 'babble'. I was not going to mention it all but not mentioning it feels wrong. I think of you all and to any newcomers, a big hello from NW Ontario, Canada. Hopefully I'll get a chance to wade through my 6000+emails ... why do I still stay in stitching groups when I haven't picked up a needle in ages! ... hugs, Cait Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 3, 2010 Report Share Posted November 3, 2010 Cait I am so sorry you are so depressed. You are in my prayers. Hugs nne To the world you might be one person, but to one person you just might be the world""May the Lord Bless you and keep you,May the Lord Make his face shine upon you, and give you Peace...Forever"Breast Cancer Patients Soul Mates for Lifehttp://breastcancerpatientssoulmatesforlife.bravehost.com/ Anxiety Depression and Breast Cancerhttp://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AnxietyDepressionandBreastCancerAngel Feather Loomerwww.angelfeatherloomer.blogspot.comThe Cancer Clubwww.cancerclub.com -----Original Message-----From: xstitcher@...Sent: Wed, 3 Nov 2010 14:40:26 -0400To: mserslife Subject: Warning DNR if depressed Sorry I've been so quiet but I've not been feeling very well for the last month or two. Also am just getting over a bout of ON which for me, makes reading and writing impossible. Its like double vision except with stain glassed windows with cracks of piercing painful light rays passing through. And fatigue ... I've had days when I've literally slept 20 out of 24 hours. And of course not been eating right, etc. Add to that I've finally admitted I've downright depressed and worried about money ... this house is like a ? (forget the word) on my back and I don't have the $'s to finish the upgrades to sell it. has offered to lend me some money which I'd repay when it sold but I keep remembering my mother's words "never lend to a friend or relative". I felt really bad but I had to borrow enough to pay this month's mortgage. I look around at all the 'things that have to be done' and I get so down that so many of them are things I used to be able to do with no thought. Like hanging new verticals on the empty patio door, etc. I'm worried about ... his back condition is degenerating and his neck has been really bad lately despite chiropractic and acupuncture. Today is my middle daughter's 34th BD and it's been 10 yrs since we've spoken. And I'm feeling twinges of the old agoraphobia since I'm so stuck in the house. And last one, my mobility is getting worse as in the incontinence . I used to do the Kiegels regularly but it's like there's no feeling anymore. Sorry maybe TMI Sorry for all 'babble'. I was not going to mention it all but not mentioning it feels wrong. I think of you all and to any newcomers, a big hello from NW Ontario, Canada. Hopefully I'll get a chance to wade through my 6000+emails ... why do I still stay in stitching groups when I haven't picked up a needle in ages! ... hugs, Cait Try FREE IM ToolPack at www.imtoolpack.com Capture screenshots, upload images, edit and send them to your friends through IMs, post on Twitter®, Facebook®, MySpace™, LinkedIn® – FAST! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2010 Report Share Posted November 4, 2010 Cait, The reason you still stay in your stitching groups is because you don't want to let go of the past..you don't want to toss aside who you USED to be.......I understand that totally! I am soooooo sorry you are struggling so much, I wish there was something I could do to help you out, I really do. Unfortunately I feel within a few months, we may very well be where you are now I won't borrow money either.....My husband makes an incredibly GOOD living. However, about 4 yrs ago we upgraded houses. We had been living in a small 3 bedroom house and the kids were getting older etc, so we bought a huge 6 bedroom home, inground pool, 26 acres, it has everything you could want....our mortgage a month is over double, yearly taxes are way more than double here......monthly bills are much more. This was when we had TWO incomes.....now I don't know if I will be able to continue working and we certainly cannot afford this house on his income alone. He pays child support to his ex every month, we both had previous debts etc that we carried into our relationship (we have been together for 7 yrs this Xmas). I was hoping we would have this house until all our kids move out (they are 16, 15 and 13), I was sure we would........ But if I am out of work, we will have to downsize for sure, no doubt about it. and this was our "dream" house *sigh* I feel like I am totally to blame here.............. I worry too that this disease is going to destroy US. I know he loves me, he would never leave me etc etc.......But you just don't know when life throws you something like this. Will he resent the fact that I can't function, I can't work, I can't contribute financially? Will we fight? Will he still love me, but leave me anyways??? SOOO Much going through my mind now and your post touched me deeply. I also live in Ontario, if there is anything I can do, or if you need someone to talk to, to vent to, pleaseeeeee do not hesitate to let me know ok???? I am thinking of you................. Jen H Warning DNR if depressed Sorry I've been so quiet but I've not been feeling very well for the last month or two. Also am just getting over a bout of ON which for me, makes reading and writing impossible. Its like double vision except with stain glassed windows with cracks of piercing painful light rays passing through. And fatigue ... I've had days when I've literally slept 20 out of 24 hours. And of course not been eating right, etc. Add to that I've finally admitted I've downright depressed and worried about money ... this house is like a ? (forget the word) on my back and I don't have the $'s to finish the upgrades to sell it. has offered to lend me some money which I'd repay when it sold but I keep remembering my mother's words "never lend to a friend or relative". I felt really bad but I had to borrow enough to pay this month's mortgage. I look around at all the 'things that have to be done' and I get so down that so many of them are things I used to be able to do with no thought. Like hanging new verticals on the empty patio door, etc. I'm worried about ... his back condition is degenerating and his neck has been really bad lately despite chiropractic and acupuncture. Today is my middle daughter's 34th BD and it's been 10 yrs since we've spoken. And I'm feeling twinges of the old agoraphobia since I'm so stuck in the house. And last one, my mobility is getting worse as in the incontinence . I used to do the Kiegels regularly but it's like there's no feeling anymore. Sorry maybe TMI Sorry for all 'babble'. I was not going to mention it all but not mentioning it feels wrong. I think of you all and to any newcomers, a big hello from NW Ontario, Canada. Hopefully I'll get a chance to wade through my 6000+emails ... why do I still stay in stitching groups when I haven't picked up a needle in ages! ... hugs, Cait No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG - www.avg.com Version: 9.0.864 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3234 - Release Date: 11/02/10 15:34:00 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 4, 2010 Report Share Posted November 4, 2010 Hi Cait,I am so sorry you have been going through so much my friend.I hope the ON resolves quickly; they can be very painful anddisturbing...It is difficult to keep your head above water when you have somuch going on.I can relate to depression, though mine is fromfar different sources. Do you have a therapist? Are you on antidepressants? Just wondering about these. I hope you keepposting and sharing with us what you are feeling and what youare going through.Know that you are loved,KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Wed, November 3, 2010 2:40:26 PMSubject: Warning DNR if depressed Sorry I've been so quiet but I've not been feeling very well for the last month or two. Also am just getting over a bout of ON which for me, makes reading and writing impossible. Its like double vision except with stain glassed windows with cracks of piercing painful light rays passing through. And fatigue ... I've had days when I've literally slept 20 out of 24 hours. And of course not been eating right, etc. Add to that I've finally admitted I've downright depressed and worried about money ... this house is like a ? (forget the word) on my back and I don't have the $'s to finish the upgrades to sell it. has offered to lend me some money which I'd repay when it sold but I keep remembering my mother's words "never lend to a friend or relative". I felt really bad but I had to borrow enough to pay this month's mortgage. I look around at all the 'things that have to be done' and I get so down that so many of them are things I used to be able to do with no thought. Like hanging new verticals on the empty patio door, etc. I'm worried about ... his back condition is degenerating and his neck has been really bad lately despite chiropractic and acupuncture. Today is my middle daughter's 34th BD and it's been 10 yrs since we've spoken. And I'm feeling twinges of the old agoraphobia since I'm so stuck in the house. And last one, my mobility is getting worse as in the incontinence . I used to do the Kiegels regularly but it's like there's no feeling anymore. Sorry maybe TMI Sorry for all 'babble'. I was not going to mention it all but not mentioning it feels wrong. I think of you all and to any newcomers, a big hello from NW Ontario, Canada. Hopefully I'll get a chance to wade through my 6000+emails ... why do I still stay in stitching groups when I haven't picked up a needle in ages! ... hugs, Cait Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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