Sharon....Re: Update from Jackie in Oregon

[Guest guest]

Hi Sharon,....thanks for your support. My son is drinking alot again, and his fiancee` was worried about it and she called me to talk about it. He got wind of it and thought we were conspiring behind his back accusing him of being an alcoholic. He already went thru AA when married to his first wife because she thought he drank too much, but after he went a few times he decided he wasn't an alcoholic because he could quit any time he wanted. He claims he drinks because he likes the taste of beer, and likes to have a couple bottles after work to unwind. His couple bottles are 20 oz'ers, and not the cheap stuff. On his days off he drinks from the time he gets up until he passes out at night. I have expressed my worry about this even before his present fiancee` came along mainly because he is also on pain pills for a medical condition that causes

him a lot of pain. His Dr. won't adequately manage the pain, so he uses other things to help himself. I've known of several people who make up their own pain "cocktail", and end up dying, and I've expressed this worry to him time and time again. He just tells me to not worry he's got it all under control. I worry anyhow, and I'm sure this has added to my pain levels and flare ups.

Now his fiancee` is worried too, plus she comes from a home where she had 2 fathers [one step] who were alcoholics and she doesn't want to marry one. So she called me, and my son blew up, and now he won't talk to me. BUT.........he and his fiancee` talked things over, and he's cut down on his drinking, which is a good thing,. but he still won't have anything to do with me. :-(

At least I can know how he is doing thru her, and that way I won't worry he'll be alone if something does happen. I hope things will work itself out by Thanksgiving because I was planning on having a family photo done of all of us. I bought new dresses for my granddaughters, and the cutest little vest suit for Christian to match, and am looking forward to having this done. [sigh]

I did write a letter to him, and he read it, but I guess he still thinks I betrayed him. Knowing him like I do I'm pretty sure he'll come around eventually, but its the time inbetween that is hard to go thru. I hate it when my family is so disconnected from each other, and it seems like there has been too many times in the last few years when that has happened.

Thank you Sharon for caring. It means alot to me to know that you are there for me, as I am here for you also. :-)

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

Subject: Re: Update from Jackie in OregonTo: MSersLife Date: Wednesday, November 3, 2010, 9:59 AM

I'm so sorry about your son, Jackie. What did he think you said? I suppose he won't talk to you on the phone so maybe you should write him a letter? I'm sure your heart is just broken over this. Can your daughter talk to him about this for you? Or Steve? I'm sure this will all be solved and will go away soon. You have always been close with your son and his girls and this just can't last!love you!

SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

To: MSersLife Sent: Wed, November 3, 2010 12:56:54 AMSubject: Update from Jackie in Oregon

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been here to support you all while you are going thru your struggles. In all honestly I too have been having some prpblems, and I've slipped into another one of my depressions. :-( It seems like I just get over one and then something happens that throws me back into another one. This time a few things happened this last week that has me flaring, and fighting another cold.

First I found the most beautiful Manufactured home that I wanted so bad and my hubby Steve wasn't as enthused about it as I was. My spirits fell pretty low, because I've been wanting to move closer in for awhile now, and he's held out saying we couldn't afford it. So after a couple days of me feeling down about it, he realized how important this was to me and recanted and said "he wanted to buy that home for me" YAY!!! I was so excited, and made the appt for the realtor to come assess our home to see how much equity we could pull out of it so we could have enough to put down on the other home. Well, she was a no show, and when I called her she said she was sick, and she thought we should rent out our house, which I knew Steve would NEVER want to do that. So then I was bummed again, and told her I would get a second opinion, and called another realtor I know. She said we should be able to get what we want with enough equity,

BUT........before she said that, Steve had decided if we had to do any upgrades to the house it wouldn't be worth it to move and not be able to enjoy whatever upgrades we made, and I agreed, but after thinking about it for awhile, I felt myself going back into that sad state, because I really wanted that other home, and we do have the money to buy it. But now that he and I guess I felt at the time the same, he sees no reason to move until he retires in 3 years!!! I get so mad at myself when I go back and forth on a decision I was so sure of in the beginning, and then I doubt myself and think maybe we shouldn't do whatever it was we agreed upon just a few days before. This is one of those times when the MS and the other illnesses really get me down. Literally, and emotionally. IF I was abled bodied I would have been stronger to push for the selling and moving, because I could fix this place up to look show worthy and priced to sell. I did it 10

times before so I know how to do it. But now I just don't have the energy, or the physical strength to do anything and have to depend on others, and Steve doesn't have the energy either. Soooo that brings me to another area that has taken the wind out of my sails, and my heart breaks as I write this. My son has decided he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore for something he thought I said about him, and he won't even talk to me about it. He has my 2 granddaughters, and s birthday is tomorrow, and we were going to celebrate hers and Steves at Thanksgiving and I doubt if we will all be together now. We don't have a very big immediate family, so not having everyone here will make it less then what we usually have. I bought the girls and baby boy Christian new dressy outfits, and I wanted everyone to be together so I could have a family portrait taken, and now I don't know if that will happen. Family has been a really big thing to me,

and for a few years theres been one thing or another that keeps disrupting ours from everyone getting along. That in itself causes much grief in me, and so then I retreat inside myself to try and ward off any flares, but they seem to slip out anyhow.

So please forgive me for those of you who are going thru your family issues, I pray for you, but I'm afraid I can't be very encouraging to you right now.

Hopefully things will get better for all of us.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

[Guest guest]

JackieI think your son is shutting you out because he knows you are right and he doesn't want to face the truth about his drinking. What do you think? What will happen to those girls if something does happen to him? After what happened recently with my great-nephew passing away while drinking and taking a prescription drug... well this is nothing to fool around with, is it? I hope he comes around soon. So you stay in contact with the fiancee?hugs SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling

and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Thu, November 4, 2010 11:44:30 AMSubject: Sharon....Re: Update from Jackie in Oregon

Hi Sharon,....thanks for your support. My son is drinking alot again, and his fiancee` was worried about it and she called me to talk about it. He got wind of it and thought we were conspiring behind his back accusing him of being an alcoholic. He already went thru AA when married to his first wife because she thought he drank too much, but after he went a few times he decided he wasn't an alcoholic because he could quit any time he wanted. He claims he drinks because he likes the taste of beer, and likes to have a couple bottles after work to unwind. His couple bottles are 20 oz'ers, and not the cheap stuff. On his days off he drinks from the time he gets up until he passes out at night. I have expressed my worry about this even before his present fiancee` came along mainly because he is also on pain pills for a medical condition that

causes

him a lot of pain. His Dr. won't adequately manage the pain, so he uses other things to help himself. I've known of several people who make up their own pain "cocktail", and end up dying, and I've expressed this worry to him time and time again. He just tells me to not worry he's got it all under control. I worry anyhow, and I'm sure this has added to my pain levels and flare ups.

Now his fiancee` is worried too, plus she comes from a home where she had 2 fathers [one step] who were alcoholics and she doesn't want to marry one. So she called me, and my son blew up, and now he won't talk to me. BUT.........he and his fiancee` talked things over, and he's cut down on his drinking, which is a good thing,. but he still won't have anything to do with me. :-(

At least I can know how he is doing thru her, and that way I won't worry he'll be alone if something does happen. I hope things will work itself out by Thanksgiving because I was planning on having a family photo done of all of us. I bought new dresses for my granddaughters, and the cutest little vest suit for Christian to match, and am looking forward to having this done. [sigh]

I did write a letter to him, and he read it, but I guess he still thinks I betrayed him. Knowing him like I do I'm pretty sure he'll come around eventually, but its the time inbetween that is hard to go thru. I hate it when my family is so disconnected from each other, and it seems like there has been too many times in the last few years when that has happened.

Thank you Sharon for caring. It means alot to me to know that you are there for me, as I am here for you also. :-)

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

Subject: Re: Update from Jackie in OregonTo: MSersLife Date: Wednesday, November 3, 2010, 9:59 AM

I'm so sorry about your son, Jackie. What did he think you said? I suppose he won't talk to you on the phone so maybe you should write him a letter? I'm sure your heart is just broken over this. Can your daughter talk to him about this for you? Or Steve? I'm sure this will all be solved and will go away soon. You have always been close with your son and his girls and this just can't last!love you!

SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

To: MSersLife Sent: Wed, November 3, 2010 12:56:54 AMSubject: Update from Jackie in Oregon

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been here to support you all while you are going thru your struggles. In all honestly I too have been having some prpblems, and I've slipped into another one of my depressions. :-( It seems like I just get over one and then something happens that throws me back into another one. This time a few things happened this last week that has me flaring, and fighting another cold.

First I found the most beautiful Manufactured home that I wanted so bad and my hubby Steve wasn't as enthused about it as I was. My spirits fell pretty low, because I've been wanting to move closer in for awhile now, and he's held out saying we couldn't afford it. So after a couple days of me feeling down about it, he realized how important this was to me and recanted and said "he wanted to buy that home for me" YAY!!! I was so excited, and made the appt for the realtor to come assess our home to see how much equity we could pull out of it so we could have enough to put down on the other home. Well, she was a no show, and when I called her she said she was sick, and she thought we should rent out our house, which I knew Steve would NEVER want to do that. So then I was bummed again, and told her I would get a second opinion, and called another realtor I know. She said we should be able to get what we want with enough equity,

BUT........before she said that, Steve had decided if we had to do any upgrades to the house it wouldn't be worth it to move and not be able to enjoy whatever upgrades we made, and I agreed, but after thinking about it for awhile, I felt myself going back into that sad state, because I really wanted that other home, and we do have the money to buy it. But now that he and I guess I felt at the time the same, he sees no reason to move until he retires in 3 years!!! I get so mad at myself when I go back and forth on a decision I was so sure of in the beginning, and then I doubt myself and think maybe we shouldn't do whatever it was we agreed upon just a few days before. This is one of those times when the MS and the other illnesses really get me down. Literally, and emotionally. IF I was abled bodied I would have been stronger to push for the selling and moving, because I could fix this place up to look show worthy and priced to sell. I did it 10

times before so I know how to do it. But now I just don't have the energy, or the physical strength to do anything and have to depend on others, and Steve doesn't have the energy either. Soooo that brings me to another area that has taken the wind out of my sails, and my heart breaks as I write this. My son has decided he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore for something he thought I said about him, and he won't even talk to me about it. He has my 2 granddaughters, and s birthday is tomorrow, and we were going to celebrate hers and Steves at Thanksgiving and I doubt if we will all be together now. We don't have a very big immediate family, so not having everyone here will make it less then what we usually have. I bought the girls and baby boy Christian new dressy outfits, and I wanted everyone to be together so I could have a family portrait taken, and now I don't know if that will happen. Family has been a really big thing to me,

and for a few years theres been one thing or another that keeps disrupting ours from everyone getting along. That in itself causes much grief in me, and so then I retreat inside myself to try and ward off any flares, but they seem to slip out anyhow.

So please forgive me for those of you who are going thru your family issues, I pray for you, but I'm afraid I can't be very encouraging to you right now.

Hopefully things will get better for all of us.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

[Guest guest]

Dear Sharon,.how insensitive of me to bring up the pain meds along with his drinking and my fears about my son when you've just been thru this with your brothers grandson. I just spaced your family's tragedy out during my grief and I'm so sorry if it reminded you and hurt you in any way. Your great grandson was one of those I was thinking of, plus my best friends son died that way too, not to mention all the recent actors. It seems like there has been story after story of this way of dying and thats why I am so worried about my son. His fiancee` lives with him and the girls. She works on his days off but at least she would be coming home. Apparently she and he have talked about it and he has cut way down on the drinking, but he still has his prescrip. pain killers he takes, and just those 2 combo's are what have me so up in arms. Yes I think

he knows how I feel about it, we've talked about it many times, and he always told me he was okay. Most of the time he does sound okay, but I know how easy it is for him to slip back into old habits, and thats what all the fuss was about. He seems to be okay to forgive his fiancee` who was the one who came to me for help in the first place, and now they are okay, but he won't talk with me. Like its all my fault.

I imagine the girls will be placed with their mother if child protective services think she is fit enough to have them. If not, I would take them in and hire a nanny to help me. Theres no way they would go to foster homes. I shudder to think if they ended up with their mother. Long story there too, I won't go in to, but suffice it to say it would not be a good environment for them.

One clarification is my son is on pain management because he has Dercums like me, and his lumps are located on nerves along his spine, so he's in a lot of pain, but his Dr. is only treating him for DJD. He doesn't recognize that he has Dercums, even tho he was examined by the Dr. who is doing research on it down in Calif. and wrote a letter explaining it so he could give it to his PCP. Apparently Kaiser doesn't have it as a valid condition in their data base, so they don't understand why he should hurt so bad from the lumps. So he finds other ways to numb the pain, but its a dangerous thing to do like we both know. :-(

I've always been so close and involved with my children, and he and I have had an almost psychic relationship, so when he backs off it really does a number on me, not because I want to retie the apron strings, but I miss him. Maybe this is his way of pulling away so he can transfer that closeness to his fiancee` instead and depend more on her for his emotional needs.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

Subject: Re: Update from Jackie in OregonTo: MSersLife Date: Wednesday, November 3, 2010, 9:59 AM

I'm so sorry about your son, Jackie. What did he think you said? I suppose he won't talk to you on the phone so maybe you should write him a letter? I'm sure your heart is just broken over this. Can your daughter talk to him about this for you? Or Steve? I'm sure this will all be solved and will go away soon. You have always been close with your son and his girls and this just can't last!love you!

SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

To: MSersLife Sent: Wed, November 3, 2010 12:56:54 AMSubject: Update from Jackie in Oregon

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been here to support you all while you are going thru your struggles. In all honestly I too have been having some prpblems, and I've slipped into another one of my depressions. :-( It seems like I just get over one and then something happens that throws me back into another one. This time a few things happened this last week that has me flaring, and fighting another cold.

First I found the most beautiful Manufactured home that I wanted so bad and my hubby Steve wasn't as enthused about it as I was. My spirits fell pretty low, because I've been wanting to move closer in for awhile now, and he's held out saying we couldn't afford it. So after a couple days of me feeling down about it, he realized how important this was to me and recanted and said "he wanted to buy that home for me" YAY!!! I was so excited, and made the appt for the realtor to come assess our home to see how much equity we could pull out of it so we could have enough to put down on the other home. Well, she was a no show, and when I called her she said she was sick, and she thought we should rent out our house, which I knew Steve would NEVER want to do that. So then I was bummed again, and told her I would get a second opinion, and called another realtor I know. She said we should be able to get what we want with enough equity,

BUT........before she said that, Steve had decided if we had to do any upgrades to the house it wouldn't be worth it to move and not be able to enjoy whatever upgrades we made, and I agreed, but after thinking about it for awhile, I felt myself going back into that sad state, because I really wanted that other home, and we do have the money to buy it. But now that he and I guess I felt at the time the same, he sees no reason to move until he retires in 3 years!!! I get so mad at myself when I go back and forth on a decision I was so sure of in the beginning, and then I doubt myself and think maybe we shouldn't do whatever it was we agreed upon just a few days before. This is one of those times when the MS and the other illnesses really get me down. Literally, and emotionally. IF I was abled bodied I would have been stronger to push for the selling and moving, because I could fix this place up to look show worthy and priced to sell. I did it 10

times before so I know how to do it. But now I just don't have the energy, or the physical strength to do anything and have to depend on others, and Steve doesn't have the energy either. Soooo that brings me to another area that has taken the wind out of my sails, and my heart breaks as I write this. My son has decided he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore for something he thought I said about him, and he won't even talk to me about it. He has my 2 granddaughters, and s birthday is tomorrow, and we were going to celebrate hers and Steves at Thanksgiving and I doubt if we will all be together now. We don't have a very big immediate family, so not having everyone here will make it less then what we usually have. I bought the girls and baby boy Christian new dressy outfits, and I wanted everyone to be together so I could have a family portrait taken, and now I don't know if that will happen. Family has been a really big thing to me,

and for a few years theres been one thing or another that keeps disrupting ours from everyone getting along. That in itself causes much grief in me, and so then I retreat inside myself to try and ward off any flares, but they seem to slip out anyhow.

So please forgive me for those of you who are going thru your family issues, I pray for you, but I'm afraid I can't be very encouraging to you right now.

Hopefully things will get better for all of us.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

[Guest guest]

Oh Jackie don't be sorry about bringing this up. I mentioned my great nephew because I'm concerned about your son. I'm glad he is still okay with the fiancee. And I'm sure he will get over his upset with you. Why is it always the fault of mom, huh? lol big hugs SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. To: MSersLife Sent: Thu, November 4, 2010 11:47:36 PMSubject: Re: Sharon....Re: Update from Jackie in Oregon

Dear Sharon,.how insensitive of me to bring up the pain meds along with his drinking and my fears about my son when you've just been thru this with your brothers grandson. I just spaced your family's tragedy out during my grief and I'm so sorry if it reminded you and hurt you in any way. Your great grandson was one of those I was thinking of, plus my best friends son died that way too, not to mention all the recent actors. It seems like there has been story after story of this way of dying and thats why I am so worried about my son. His fiancee` lives with him and the girls. She works on his days off but at least she would be coming home. Apparently she and he have talked about it and he has cut way down on the drinking, but he still has his prescrip. pain killers he takes, and just those 2 combo's are what have me so up in arms. Yes I

think

he knows how I feel about it, we've talked about it many times, and he always told me he was okay. Most of the time he does sound okay, but I know how easy it is for him to slip back into old habits, and thats what all the fuss was about. He seems to be okay to forgive his fiancee` who was the one who came to me for help in the first place, and now they are okay, but he won't talk with me. Like its all my fault.

I imagine the girls will be placed with their mother if child protective services think she is fit enough to have them. If not, I would take them in and hire a nanny to help me. Theres no way they would go to foster homes. I shudder to think if they ended up with their mother. Long story there too, I won't go in to, but suffice it to say it would not be a good environment for them.

One clarification is my son is on pain management because he has Dercums like me, and his lumps are located on nerves along his spine, so he's in a lot of pain, but his Dr. is only treating him for DJD. He doesn't recognize that he has Dercums, even tho he was examined by the Dr. who is doing research on it down in Calif. and wrote a letter explaining it so he could give it to his PCP. Apparently Kaiser doesn't have it as a valid condition in their data base, so they don't understand why he should hurt so bad from the lumps. So he finds other ways to numb the pain, but its a dangerous thing to do like we both know. :-(

I've always been so close and involved with my children, and he and I have had an almost psychic relationship, so when he backs off it really does a number on me, not because I want to retie the apron strings, but I miss him. Maybe this is his way of pulling away so he can transfer that closeness to his fiancee` instead and depend more on her for his emotional needs.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

Subject: Re: Update from Jackie in OregonTo: MSersLife Date: Wednesday, November 3, 2010, 9:59 AM

I'm so sorry about your son, Jackie. What did he think you said? I suppose he won't talk to you on the phone so maybe you should write him a letter? I'm sure your heart is just broken over this. Can your daughter talk to him about this for you? Or Steve? I'm sure this will all be solved and will go away soon. You have always been close with your son and his girls and this just can't last!love you!

SharonThis email is a natural hand made product. The slight variations in spelling and grammar enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects.

To: MSersLife Sent: Wed, November 3, 2010 12:56:54 AMSubject: Update from Jackie in Oregon

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been here to support you all while you are going thru your struggles. In all honestly I too have been having some prpblems, and I've slipped into another one of my depressions. :-( It seems like I just get over one and then something happens that throws me back into another one. This time a few things happened this last week that has me flaring, and fighting another cold.

First I found the most beautiful Manufactured home that I wanted so bad and my hubby Steve wasn't as enthused about it as I was. My spirits fell pretty low, because I've been wanting to move closer in for awhile now, and he's held out saying we couldn't afford it. So after a couple days of me feeling down about it, he realized how important this was to me and recanted and said "he wanted to buy that home for me" YAY!!! I was so excited, and made the appt for the realtor to come assess our home to see how much equity we could pull out of it so we could have enough to put down on the other home. Well, she was a no show, and when I called her she said she was sick, and she thought we should rent out our house, which I knew Steve would NEVER want to do that. So then I was bummed again, and told her I would get a second opinion, and called another realtor I know. She said we should be able to get what we want with enough equity,

BUT........before she said that, Steve had decided if we had to do any upgrades to the house it wouldn't be worth it to move and not be able to enjoy whatever upgrades we made, and I agreed, but after thinking about it for awhile, I felt myself going back into that sad state, because I really wanted that other home, and we do have the money to buy it. But now that he and I guess I felt at the time the same, he sees no reason to move until he retires in 3 years!!! I get so mad at myself when I go back and forth on a decision I was so sure of in the beginning, and then I doubt myself and think maybe we shouldn't do whatever it was we agreed upon just a few days before. This is one of those times when the MS and the other illnesses really get me down. Literally, and emotionally. IF I was abled bodied I would have been stronger to push for the selling and moving, because I could fix this place up to look show worthy and priced to sell. I did it 10

times before so I know how to do it. But now I just don't have the energy, or the physical strength to do anything and have to depend on others, and Steve doesn't have the energy either. Soooo that brings me to another area that has taken the wind out of my sails, and my heart breaks as I write this. My son has decided he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore for something he thought I said about him, and he won't even talk to me about it. He has my 2 granddaughters, and s birthday is tomorrow, and we were going to celebrate hers and Steves at Thanksgiving and I doubt if we will all be together now. We don't have a very big immediate family, so not having everyone here will make it less then what we usually have. I bought the girls and baby boy Christian new dressy outfits, and I wanted everyone to be together so I could have a family portrait taken, and now I don't know if that will happen. Family has been a really big thing to me,

and for a few years theres been one thing or another that keeps disrupting ours from everyone getting along. That in itself causes much grief in me, and so then I retreat inside myself to try and ward off any flares, but they seem to slip out anyhow.

So please forgive me for those of you who are going thru your family issues, I pray for you, but I'm afraid I can't be very encouraging to you right now.

Hopefully things will get better for all of us.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.