Akiba....Re: Update from Jackie in Oregon

[Guest guest]

Hi Akiba,..thanks for your support, and encouragement. Read the letter I sent to Sharon and you'll understand a little more why I am so worried about this whole situation with my son. Yes I'm sure he will get over it eventually, but its the waiting inbetween that causes problems for me physically and emotionally. Especially with the holidays coming up, I just want things to be happy for the children ya know? He and I are so much alike and we show our feelings on our shoulders, and sometimes its hard to let the hurt go.

Today I am glad we didn't move forward to try and get that other house as its in my SIL's park, and I'm not very happy with her right now, and if we moved closer to her I am sure I'd get to the point of really regreting it. So I guess it was a good thing things fell thru. And......I want to get another big dog, and I wouldn't be able to do that if we moved there. So things are all good in that dept. now.

Thanks again, and I'm glad things are working better for you now. I understand why you want Rob there for your son, and it takes a lot of inner strength to be able to put your feelings aside for the greater good. :-)

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

Subject: Re: Update from Jackie in OregonTo: MSersLife Date: Wednesday, November 3, 2010, 9:03 AM

Jackie, I am sure your son will get over it, Time will erase or correct the memory. I hope tomorrow does happen and you see your family.

Sorry about the house, I do understand, as for years I haven't been able to move by myself, without lots of help, and as it is I have lost so many things I can't even begin to tell you...*sigh* But we all get through it, with the help and support of friends...like we have here.

~*~Hugs~*~

~*~Akiba~*~

-- Update from Jackie in Oregon

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been here to support you all while you are going thru your struggles. In all honestly I too have been having some prpblems, and I've slipped into another one of my depressions. :-( It seems like I just get over one and then something happens that throws me back into another one. This time a few things happened this last week that has me flaring, and fighting another cold.

First I found the most beautiful Manufactured home that I wanted so bad and my hubby Steve wasn't as enthused about it as I was. My spirits fell pretty low, because I've been wanting to move closer in for awhile now, and he's held out saying we couldn't afford it. So after a couple days of me feeling down about it, he realized how important this was to me and recanted and said "he wanted to buy that home for me" YAY!!! I was so excited, and made the appt for the realtor to come assess our home to see how much equity we could pull out of it so we could have enough to put down on the other home. Well, she was a no show, and when I called her she said she was sick, and she thought we should rent out our house, which I knew Steve would NEVER want to do that. So then I was bummed again, and told her I would get a second opinion, and called another realtor I know. She said we should be able to get what we want with enough equity,

BUT........before she said that, Steve had decided if we had to do any upgrades to the house it wouldn't be worth it to move and not be able to enjoy whatever upgrades we made, and I agreed, but after thinking about it for awhile, I felt myself going back into that sad state, because I really wanted that other home, and we do have the money to buy it. But now that he and I guess I felt at the time the same, he sees no reason to move until he retires in 3 years!!! I get so mad at myself when I go back and forth on a decision I was so sure of in the beginning, and then I doubt myself and think maybe we shouldn't do whatever it was we agreed upon just a few days before. This is one of those times when the MS and the other illnesses really get me down. Literally, and emotionally. IF I was abled bodied I would have been stronger to push for the selling and moving, because I could fix this place up to look show worthy and priced to sell. I did it 10

times before so I know how to do it. But now I just don't have the energy, or the physical strength to do anything and have to depend on others, and Steve doesn't have the energy either. Soooo that brings me to another area that has taken the wind out of my sails, and my heart breaks as I write this. My son has decided he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore for something he thought I said about him, and he won't even talk to me about it. He has my 2 granddaughters, and s birthday is tomorrow, and we were going to celebrate hers and Steves at Thanksgiving and I doubt if we will all be together now. We don't have a very big immediate family, so not having everyone here will make it less then what we usually have. I bought the girls and baby boy Christian new dressy outfits, and I wanted everyone to be together so I could have a family portrait taken, and now I don't know if that will happen. Family has been a really big thing to me,

and for a few years theres been one thing or another that keeps disrupting ours from everyone getting along. That in itself causes much grief in me, and so then I retreat inside myself to try and ward off any flares, but they seem to slip out anyhow.

So please forgive me for those of you who are going thru your family issues, I pray for you, but I'm afraid I can't be very encouraging to you right now.

Hopefully things will get better for all of us.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.

[Guest guest]

I don't always feel all that strong so it is nice to hear.

~*~Hugs~*~

~*~Akiba~*~

-- Update from Jackie in Oregon

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't been here to support you all while you are going thru your struggles. In all honestly I too have been having some prpblems, and I've slipped into another one of my depressions. :-( It seems like I just get over one and then something happens that throws me back into another one. This time a few things happened this last week that has me flaring, and fighting another cold.

First I found the most beautiful Manufactured home that I wanted so bad and my hubby Steve wasn't as enthused about it as I was. My spirits fell pretty low, because I've been wanting to move closer in for awhile now, and he's held out saying we couldn't afford it. So after a couple days of me feeling down about it, he realized how important this was to me and recanted and said "he wanted to buy that home for me" YAY!!! I was so excited, and made the appt for the realtor to come assess our home to see how much equity we could pull out of it so we could have enough to put down on the other home. Well, she was a no show, and when I called her she said she was sick, and she thought we should rent out our house, which I knew Steve would NEVER want to do that. So then I was bummed again, and told her I would get a second opinion, and called another realtor I know. She said we should be able to get what we want with enough equity, BUT........before she said that, Steve had decided if we had to do any upgrades to the house it wouldn't be worth it to move and not be able to enjoy whatever upgrades we made, and I agreed, but after thinking about it for awhile, I felt myself going back into that sad state, because I really wanted that other home, and we do have the money to buy it. But now that he and I guess I felt at the time the same, he sees no reason to move until he retires in 3 years!!! I get so mad at myself when I go back and forth on a decision I was so sure of in the beginning, and then I doubt myself and think maybe we shouldn't do whatever it was we agreed upon just a few days before. This is one of those times when the MS and the other illnesses really get me down. Literally, and emotionally. IF I was abled bodied I would have been stronger to push for the selling and moving, because I could fix this place up to look show worthy and priced to sell. I did it 10 times before so I know how to do it. But now I just don't have the energy, or the physical strength to do anything and have to depend on others, and Steve doesn't have the energy either. Soooo that brings me to another area that has taken the wind out of my sails, and my heart breaks as I write this. My son has decided he doesn't want to have anything to do with me anymore for something he thought I said about him, and he won't even talk to me about it. He has my 2 granddaughters, and s birthday is tomorrow, and we were going to celebrate hers and Steves at Thanksgiving and I doubt if we will all be together now. We don't have a very big immediate family, so not having everyone here will make it less then what we usually have. I bought the girls and baby boy Christian new dressy outfits, and I wanted everyone to be together so I could have a family portrait taken, and now I don't know if that will happen. Family has been a really big thing to me, and for a few years theres been one thing or another that keeps disrupting ours from everyone getting along. That in itself causes much grief in me, and so then I retreat inside myself to try and ward off any flares, but they seem to slip out anyhow.

So please forgive me for those of you who are going thru your family issues, I pray for you, but I'm afraid I can't be very encouraging to you right now.

Hopefully things will get better for all of us.

Hugs and Love, Jackie

May the peace of God be with you...the love of Jesus enfold you...and the Spirit of Christ fill you.