Guest guest Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 First, thanks to all of you who replied to my " more crazy " thread. My husband and I talked it over and since he kind of knows the local legal system believes there needs to be a more palpable level of damage before our state would consider legal action to be valid. That said.... Hubby received a phone call the following day from middle child's school principal informing him that my nada had called the school trying to get information about her. No information was given. The day after that there was an envelope on my work desk from my dad. Inside were two newspaper clippings about my neices, two programs from the funerals of my grandmother and uncle, as well as a note saying " You are missing a lot! Thanksgiving dinner is at our house. You are always welcome. " I'm mostly just venting. First, how creepy of my nada! I mean, that's the stuff of stalkers. I'm going to meet with the school counselor and principal next week to find out exactly what was said and what their advice is. We send a letter every year to our kids' school principals outlining our situation and reiterating that never, under any circumstances, are our kids to be in contact with the grandparents. Never hurts to remind them of that, however. And second, I'm missing a lot? These are newspaper clippings, no? I can buy the paper if I want. And they were concerning events that I wouldn't have attended, and that my 'parents' likely didn't even attend, either. So I've missed exactly nothing there. The funerals were ones that I couldn't have attended anyway. Again, nothing missed. In the meantime, they've missed my kids' concerts, soccer tournaments, and overall awesomeness because they refuse to acknowledge that there is anything at all wrong with being mean to your children and grandchildren, PLUS now that they've mailed me their documentation of these events that I've 'missed', they're missing their documentation of those things, as well. Hah! Admittedly, I've missed some things, but I don't miss being the scapegoat of family functions nor nada's infuriating distortion of reality that we are forbidden to challenge lest we rouse psycho-nada, which of course would be entirely my fault and what the heck was I thinking, anyway? Grrrrrrrr... The solution: kickboxing. I am totally going to join a kickboxing class and make some sparring dummy wish it had never been manufactured. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 18, 2011 Report Share Posted November 18, 2011 Learning to kick-box sounds like a very positive way to deal with frustration, and good exercise on top of it. Thumb's up! -Annie > > First, thanks to all of you who replied to my " more crazy " thread. My husband and I talked it over and since he kind of knows the local legal system believes there needs to be a more palpable level of damage before our state would consider legal action to be valid. > > That said.... > > Hubby received a phone call the following day from middle child's school principal informing him that my nada had called the school trying to get information about her. No information was given. > > The day after that there was an envelope on my work desk from my dad. Inside were two newspaper clippings about my neices, two programs from the funerals of my grandmother and uncle, as well as a note saying " You are missing a lot! Thanksgiving dinner is at our house. You are always welcome. " > > I'm mostly just venting. First, how creepy of my nada! I mean, that's the stuff of stalkers. I'm going to meet with the school counselor and principal next week to find out exactly what was said and what their advice is. We send a letter every year to our kids' school principals outlining our situation and reiterating that never, under any circumstances, are our kids to be in contact with the grandparents. Never hurts to remind them of that, however. > > And second, I'm missing a lot? These are newspaper clippings, no? I can buy the paper if I want. And they were concerning events that I wouldn't have attended, and that my 'parents' likely didn't even attend, either. So I've missed exactly nothing there. The funerals were ones that I couldn't have attended anyway. Again, nothing missed. In the meantime, they've missed my kids' concerts, soccer tournaments, and overall awesomeness because they refuse to acknowledge that there is anything at all wrong with being mean to your children and grandchildren, PLUS now that they've mailed me their documentation of these events that I've 'missed', they're missing their documentation of those things, as well. Hah! > > Admittedly, I've missed some things, but I don't miss being the scapegoat of family functions nor nada's infuriating distortion of reality that we are forbidden to challenge lest we rouse psycho-nada, which of course would be entirely my fault and what the heck was I thinking, anyway? Grrrrrrrr... > > The solution: kickboxing. I am totally going to join a kickboxing class and make some sparring dummy wish it had never been manufactured. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2011 Report Share Posted November 19, 2011 I like your idea of kickboxing - I feel like kicking the crap out of some dummy as well to release the rage my nada stirs up in me. I recently relaxed my NC with her and essentially fell for her " being nice " act. In less than 6 hours she had basically flipped into her psycho bitch role and completely screwed me over on some arrangements I had made with her in favour of one of my asshole brothers. I fall for the baited trap every bloody time and I am more angry at myself right now for not knowing better. My friend refers to it as the cat (nada) and mouse (me) game. Every time I relax my boundaries with her, I can guarantee I will get the head games and the cruelty. There is such a tighness in my chest right now because I am so angry - think I will lgo and scream into a pillow - sometimes it works!!!!!! Koko > > First, thanks to all of you who replied to my " more crazy " thread. My husband and I talked it over and since he kind of knows the local legal system believes there needs to be a more palpable level of damage before our state would consider legal action to be valid. > > That said.... > > Hubby received a phone call the following day from middle child's school principal informing him that my nada had called the school trying to get information about her. No information was given. > > The day after that there was an envelope on my work desk from my dad. Inside were two newspaper clippings about my neices, two programs from the funerals of my grandmother and uncle, as well as a note saying " You are missing a lot! Thanksgiving dinner is at our house. You are always welcome. " > > I'm mostly just venting. First, how creepy of my nada! I mean, that's the stuff of stalkers. I'm going to meet with the school counselor and principal next week to find out exactly what was said and what their advice is. We send a letter every year to our kids' school principals outlining our situation and reiterating that never, under any circumstances, are our kids to be in contact with the grandparents. Never hurts to remind them of that, however. > > And second, I'm missing a lot? These are newspaper clippings, no? I can buy the paper if I want. And they were concerning events that I wouldn't have attended, and that my 'parents' likely didn't even attend, either. So I've missed exactly nothing there. The funerals were ones that I couldn't have attended anyway. Again, nothing missed. In the meantime, they've missed my kids' concerts, soccer tournaments, and overall awesomeness because they refuse to acknowledge that there is anything at all wrong with being mean to your children and grandchildren, PLUS now that they've mailed me their documentation of these events that I've 'missed', they're missing their documentation of those things, as well. Hah! > > Admittedly, I've missed some things, but I don't miss being the scapegoat of family functions nor nada's infuriating distortion of reality that we are forbidden to challenge lest we rouse psycho-nada, which of course would be entirely my fault and what the heck was I thinking, anyway? Grrrrrrrr... > > The solution: kickboxing. I am totally going to join a kickboxing class and make some sparring dummy wish it had never been manufactured. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 19, 2011 Report Share Posted November 19, 2011 When I was growing up and after adulthood, when I was enmeshed with my nada, I used to just kind of go numb or dissociate when " nice mom " would do her " Jekyll and Hyde " thing and switch into being witchy, mean, hateful, critical, blaming mom toward me; going numb and not being " present " when that happened helped me endure it. In my case, I cut myself off from my emotions. My memories are intact, but I stopped having feelings about the abuse or about anything, really. I discovered that you can't just decide to not feel one particular emotion; if you shut that one off, they all get turned off. But at some point within the last 10 years I kind of lost that ability to " go away " when she'd turn angry, hateful and would emotionally attack me, so being conscious and present for the switches back and forth started shredding my nerves and I got to where I felt literally sick if I knew a visit was coming up, or even when I'd hear nada's voice on the phone. So... I can relate. I just got to a place where I couldn't take it anymore, and what's more, I have allowed myself to feel that I do not deserve to take it anymore. It doesn't make me a bad person to rescue myself. I am feeling pity for my nada now because on top of her bpd/npd, she now has Alzheimer's. I think pity is as close as I can come to love for her, now. -Annie > > > > First, thanks to all of you who replied to my " more crazy " thread. My husband and I talked it over and since he kind of knows the local legal system believes there needs to be a more palpable level of damage before our state would consider legal action to be valid. > > > > That said.... > > > > Hubby received a phone call the following day from middle child's school principal informing him that my nada had called the school trying to get information about her. No information was given. > > > > The day after that there was an envelope on my work desk from my dad. Inside were two newspaper clippings about my neices, two programs from the funerals of my grandmother and uncle, as well as a note saying " You are missing a lot! Thanksgiving dinner is at our house. You are always welcome. " > > > > I'm mostly just venting. First, how creepy of my nada! I mean, that's the stuff of stalkers. I'm going to meet with the school counselor and principal next week to find out exactly what was said and what their advice is. We send a letter every year to our kids' school principals outlining our situation and reiterating that never, under any circumstances, are our kids to be in contact with the grandparents. Never hurts to remind them of that, however. > > > > And second, I'm missing a lot? These are newspaper clippings, no? I can buy the paper if I want. And they were concerning events that I wouldn't have attended, and that my 'parents' likely didn't even attend, either. So I've missed exactly nothing there. The funerals were ones that I couldn't have attended anyway. Again, nothing missed. In the meantime, they've missed my kids' concerts, soccer tournaments, and overall awesomeness because they refuse to acknowledge that there is anything at all wrong with being mean to your children and grandchildren, PLUS now that they've mailed me their documentation of these events that I've 'missed', they're missing their documentation of those things, as well. Hah! > > > > Admittedly, I've missed some things, but I don't miss being the scapegoat of family functions nor nada's infuriating distortion of reality that we are forbidden to challenge lest we rouse psycho-nada, which of course would be entirely my fault and what the heck was I thinking, anyway? Grrrrrrrr... > > > > The solution: kickboxing. I am totally going to join a kickboxing class and make some sparring dummy wish it had never been manufactured. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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