A Happy Thanksgiving to all, in spite of bpd...

[Guest guest]

The holidays can carry a more-than-average amount of stress for us KOs: the

adult children of bpd parents.

If we have chosen to remain in contact / in low contact with our bpd parents,

then holiday get-togethers can be fraught with bpd drama, and it devolves on us

KOs to maintain our boundaries (perhaps utilizing " Medium Chill " ) and enforce

boundary violations by simply leaving the premises (which could mean excusing

ourselves from Thanksgiving Dinner long before dessert is served)... or which

could mean just gritting our teeth and bearing the histrionic, abusive

screaming, or the deliberate, passive-aggressive, calculated " zingers " , or the

cold-shoulder / silent treatment aimed at us or at our spouses, SOs or kids, and

just getting through the family gathering with as much grace and with as little

embarrassment as possible.

Or, the holidays can be a time of quiet solitude, rest, relaxation and possibly

recreation for those of us who have gone No Contact with our abusive, bpd foo,

or are in such limited contact that holiday visits aren't part of the deal.

My wish is for all of us KOs to have as stress-free and as enjoyable a holiday

as possible, whether you are spending Thanksgiving with your foo, or with your

in-laws, or whether you are having a family adventure (trying something you've

never tried before) or are spending the holiday with friends, or are doing

something unique and special as a family or couple, or if like me you have to

work over the holiday weekend.

Whatever your holiday plans are, I wish for your Thanksgiving to be as smooth

and stress-free for you as possible.

-Annie

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Annie! I'm very thankful for you and everyone here.

I hope everyone has a stress-free holiday.

Hugs,

Fiona

>

> The holidays can carry a more-than-average amount of stress for us KOs: the

adult children of bpd parents.

>

> If we have chosen to remain in contact / in low contact with our bpd parents,

then holiday get-togethers can be fraught with bpd drama, and it devolves on us

KOs to maintain our boundaries (perhaps utilizing " Medium Chill " ) and enforce

boundary violations by simply leaving the premises (which could mean excusing

ourselves from Thanksgiving Dinner long before dessert is served)... or which

could mean just gritting our teeth and bearing the histrionic, abusive

screaming, or the deliberate, passive-aggressive, calculated " zingers " , or the

cold-shoulder / silent treatment aimed at us or at our spouses, SOs or kids, and

just getting through the family gathering with as much grace and with as little

embarrassment as possible.

>

> Or, the holidays can be a time of quiet solitude, rest, relaxation and

possibly recreation for those of us who have gone No Contact with our abusive,

bpd foo, or are in such limited contact that holiday visits aren't part of the

deal.

>

> My wish is for all of us KOs to have as stress-free and as enjoyable a holiday

as possible, whether you are spending Thanksgiving with your foo, or with your

in-laws, or whether you are having a family adventure (trying something you've

never tried before) or are spending the holiday with friends, or are doing

something unique and special as a family or couple, or if like me you have to

work over the holiday weekend.

>

> Whatever your holiday plans are, I wish for your Thanksgiving to be as smooth

and stress-free for you as possible.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone here. Somehow my husband and I

have ducked out of every invitation this year and we are looking forward to a 4

day weekend hibernating together with no commitments and no drama. His mother

is wonderful and said she felt we needed time alone together because she knew

I'd been through it with my Nada. I'm not sure how my psyche will react to all

the bliss and peace!!!! A lot of people on this board got me through the last

week and a half and for that I am THANKFUL! Blessings to all of you.

Tag

>

> The holidays can carry a more-than-average amount of stress for us KOs: the

adult children of bpd parents.

>

> If we have chosen to remain in contact / in low contact with our bpd parents,

then holiday get-togethers can be fraught with bpd drama, and it devolves on us

KOs to maintain our boundaries (perhaps utilizing " Medium Chill " ) and enforce

boundary violations by simply leaving the premises (which could mean excusing

ourselves from Thanksgiving Dinner long before dessert is served)... or which

could mean just gritting our teeth and bearing the histrionic, abusive

screaming, or the deliberate, passive-aggressive, calculated " zingers " , or the

cold-shoulder / silent treatment aimed at us or at our spouses, SOs or kids, and

just getting through the family gathering with as much grace and with as little

embarrassment as possible.

>

> Or, the holidays can be a time of quiet solitude, rest, relaxation and

possibly recreation for those of us who have gone No Contact with our abusive,

bpd foo, or are in such limited contact that holiday visits aren't part of the

deal.

>

> My wish is for all of us KOs to have as stress-free and as enjoyable a holiday

as possible, whether you are spending Thanksgiving with your foo, or with your

in-laws, or whether you are having a family adventure (trying something you've

never tried before) or are spending the holiday with friends, or are doing

something unique and special as a family or couple, or if like me you have to

work over the holiday weekend.

>

> Whatever your holiday plans are, I wish for your Thanksgiving to be as smooth

and stress-free for you as possible.

>

> -Annie

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Annie, and I hope that yours is a good holiday as well. I have read

many of your posts to others on here and gained a lot of insight from you.

Thank you for that.

Lyn

>

> The holidays can carry a more-than-average amount of stress for us KOs: the

adult children of bpd parents.

>

> If we have chosen to remain in contact / in low contact with our bpd parents,

then holiday get-togethers can be fraught with bpd drama, and it devolves on us

KOs to maintain our boundaries (perhaps utilizing " Medium Chill " ) and enforce

boundary violations by simply leaving the premises (which could mean excusing

ourselves from Thanksgiving Dinner long before dessert is served)... or which

could mean just gritting our teeth and bearing the histrionic, abusive

screaming, or the deliberate, passive-aggressive, calculated " zingers " , or the

cold-shoulder / silent treatment aimed at us or at our spouses, SOs or kids, and

just getting through the family gathering with as much grace and with as little

embarrassment as possible.

>

> Or, the holidays can be a time of quiet solitude, rest, relaxation and

possibly recreation for those of us who have gone No Contact with our abusive,

bpd foo, or are in such limited contact that holiday visits aren't part of the

deal.

>

> My wish is for all of us KOs to have as stress-free and as enjoyable a holiday

as possible, whether you are spending Thanksgiving with your foo, or with your

in-laws, or whether you are having a family adventure (trying something you've

never tried before) or are spending the holiday with friends, or are doing

something unique and special as a family or couple, or if like me you have to

work over the holiday weekend.

>

> Whatever your holiday plans are, I wish for your Thanksgiving to be as smooth

and stress-free for you as possible.

>

> -Annie

>