Brand New

[Guest guest]

I have just joined the group today, upon the suggestion of my therapist. She

was explaining why she believes my mother was BPD and Narcissistic. I am both

in shock and a little relieved because it so accurately described my mother, the

relationship, and what happened to me. I read the abbreviations list and

wow...I could RELATE.

From the very little I know at this point, it seems to me that this type of

relationship is abusive to the child. Were other people also physically and/or

sexually abused? I ask because nada also abused me in those ways.

This is also my first experience with an on-line group of any kind. I am afraid

because I don't know how safe this is and I don't know what to expect. Will it

be sane, supportive, will I be welcomed, will I be helpful to others, will I

learn and contribute to other peoples learning.

For any responses I may receive, please explain any abbreviations you may use as

I'm sure the list I saw was not complete, and I want to understand as best I

can, any communication.

Thanks,

Sammi

[Guest guest]

Welcome, good to have you. I hope thanksgiving was kind to you and that

your nada was far far away. . . Girlscout

> **

>

>

> I have just joined the group today, upon the suggestion of my therapist.

> She was explaining why she believes my mother was BPD and Narcissistic. I

> am both in shock and a little relieved because it so accurately described

> my mother, the relationship, and what happened to me. I read the

> abbreviations list and wow...I could RELATE.

>

> From the very little I know at this point, it seems to me that this type

> of relationship is abusive to the child. Were other people also physically

> and/or sexually abused? I ask because nada also abused me in those ways.

>

> This is also my first experience with an on-line group of any kind. I am

> afraid because I don't know how safe this is and I don't know what to

> expect. Will it be sane, supportive, will I be welcomed, will I be helpful

> to others, will I learn and contribute to other peoples learning.

>

> For any responses I may receive, please explain any abbreviations you may

> use as I'm sure the list I saw was not complete, and I want to understand

> as best I can, any communication.

>

> Thanks,

> Sammi

>

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Sammi,

Not a group any of us truly want to belong to, but welcome anyway. I too have a

nada who I beleive is a highly functioning BPD and Narcissitic (undiagnosed

-this is based on my observations and what I have read, observed and

experienced). I also have a BPD mother-in law (MIL)- also undiagnosed. And at

least one sibling who is narcissistic. I am in my early 50's and have just come

to these realizations over the past year. I understand your shock and relief.

The good news is you have joined a supportive group with unfortunately years and

years of collective experience and knowledge. Some of the people on here seem

very well versed, as well as experienced about BPD, and many, like me, are just

learning via experience, recent enlightenment, and reading about it.

I am glad you are seeing a therapist to help you through your process for now.

I am so very sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered as a child from your

nada. That is horrible. I expereinced being emotionally abused, I think for the

most part it was emotional abandonment and shame that I experienced growing up.

It still is hard sorting it all out, because I did feel loved and cared for

growing up,mostly because of my dad's influence on my nada. But even dad I think

had some NP and was so bound up keeping nada happy that it sucked a lot of his

goodness away from we kids. But I definatly felt loved, just the emotional

abandonment thing makes me always doubt myself and causes anxiety. Everything

was always about my nada or dad, never about me,and to this day I feel guilty

spending money on me or getting attention.

My nada is the queen and sometimes waif type. My MIL is the queen, waif and

unfortuantely sometimes even the witch. She has been in my life 30+ years and

has had a profoundly negative effect on my husband, his siblings and all our

lives.

Again, I am so sorry for your suffering, and am so happy for you that you are

seeking help and answers and moving towards health. I think you will find this

group helpful, especially when you need to get feedback or have had a bad day.

Who the heck will understand the craziness? Those who have also fallen into the

rabbit hole, and are working their way out! - so welcome.

>

> I have just joined the group today, upon the suggestion of my therapist. She

was explaining why she believes my mother was BPD and Narcissistic. I am both

in shock and a little relieved because it so accurately described my mother, the

relationship, and what happened to me. I read the abbreviations list and

wow...I could RELATE.

>

> From the very little I know at this point, it seems to me that this type of

relationship is abusive to the child. Were other people also physically and/or

sexually abused? I ask because nada also abused me in those ways.

>

> This is also my first experience with an on-line group of any kind. I am

afraid because I don't know how safe this is and I don't know what to expect.

Will it be sane, supportive, will I be welcomed, will I be helpful to others,

will I learn and contribute to other peoples learning.

>

> For any responses I may receive, please explain any abbreviations you may use

as I'm sure the list I saw was not complete, and I want to understand as best I

can, any communication.

>

> Thanks,

> Sammi

>

>