Beware of Self Pity

[Guest guest]

This is hard time for many of us so I just wanted to put this out here. I'm

hoping that everyone gets through it as well as possible including myself

of course.

This is from wikipedia:

*Self-pity* is the

psychological<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological>state of mind

of an individual in perceived adverse situations who has not

accepted <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance> the situation and does

not have the confidence <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confidence> nor

ability to cope <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coping_(psychology)> with it.

It is characterized by a person's belief that he or she is the victim of

events and is therefore deserving of condolence. Self-pity is generally

regarded as a negative emotion in that it does not generally help deal with

adverse situations. However, in a social context, it may result in either

the offering of sympathy <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sympathy> or advice.

Self-pity may be considered normal, and in certain circumstances healthy,

so long as it is transitory and leads to either

acceptance<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acceptance>or a determination

to change the situation.

[edit<http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Self-pity & action=edit & section=1>

] Description

Self-pity can be remarkably self-sustaining particularly in conjunction

with depression <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depression_(mood)> or other

conditions. However self-pity is a way of paying attention to oneself,

albeit negatively; it is a means of self-soothing or self-nurturing ( " I

hurt so much " ).

Social-Learning

theorists<http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_learning_theory>say that

self-pity is a method for gaining

attention <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_seeking>, where a child

received attention, support, and nurturing while being sick or hurt. The

child then grows up having learned to give attention to oneself (or ask for

attention from others) while in real or dramatized distress. Thus, another

form of self-sustainment can be sympathy offered by others (for example,

someone might use the phrase " oh, you poor thing " to comfort the person in

self-pity).

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