Guest guest Posted November 24, 2011 Report Share Posted November 24, 2011 Hi all, I suspect I'm not the only one who struggles with the holiday season. I typically HATE the holidays and it doesn't help that my partner is pretty bah humbug as well. I really want to be " in the spirit " but I have so many past hurts associated with the holidays not to mention my family is super fragmented. In the past I focused on making the holidays about my boys but they are getting older now and toys just aren't that interesting and, like everyone else, money is tight. I'm seriously considering boycotting christmas all together since we have no religious attachments. I feel like what might help me feel better about the holidays is to find a way to reclaim them as my own. I think all the other years my coping mechanism has been in the form of distraction which in my mond is really just avoidance. I'm curious what you all have done to help yourselves during the holidays. How have you reclaimed the holidays as your own? I loved hearing about AFB's holiday plans. That's wonderful!! Jules Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2011 Report Share Posted November 24, 2011 Hi Jules, You are definitely not the only one who struggles with the holidays. Every year I dreaded the holidays because nada made them a nightmare. Every year after another awful Thanksgiving and Christmas I always told myself that it would be the last and I would boycott the next years. I went " no-contact " with my nada a little over a year ago and even though she wasn't a part of our holidays last year I still found myself dreading them and bracing myself for the worst. This is the first year that I am actually looking forward to the holidays. My husband and I have decided to simplify them and not make them a big deal or feel obligated to please people we don't even care for that much. We are going to eat some nice meals and surround ourselves with people we do want to be around. Enjoy any time I have to relax. I won't lie there is still a part of me in the back of my mind that wonders and worries if nada will find a way to rear her ugly head, but I'm still going to do what makes me, my family and the people we do care about happy. Good luck and and I hope you find happy holidays! ~Shann > > Hi all, > I suspect I'm not the only one who struggles with the holiday season. I typically HATE the holidays and it doesn't help that my partner is pretty bah humbug as well. I really want to be " in the spirit " but I have so many past hurts associated with the holidays not to mention my family is super fragmented. In the past I focused on making the holidays about my boys but they are getting older now and toys just aren't that interesting and, like everyone else, money is tight. I'm seriously considering boycotting christmas all together since we have no religious attachments. > I feel like what might help me feel better about the holidays is to find a way to reclaim them as my own. I think all the other years my coping mechanism has been in the form of distraction which in my mond is really just avoidance. > > I'm curious what you all have done to help yourselves during the holidays. How have you reclaimed the holidays as your own? I loved hearing about AFB's holiday plans. That's wonderful!! > Jules > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 24, 2011 Report Share Posted November 24, 2011 My therapist told me last year that my nada had ruined enough of my holidays. So, I make up excuses not to see people I don't want to see, I set priorites (like this year I want to screen print dishtowels and make bread for my friends, deliver it with jam and a towel - and that is IT. All I'm doing. Then I spend the day in my kitchen and at the dog park. i do what I want to do. I don't do what other people want me to do. That's what I do. And I've learned to really enjoy it. My boyfriend and I usually get each other TONZ of gifts, that won't be happening this year because of money and grad school, but we just do fun silly stuff and do what we want. That's my plan. . . . > ** > > > > > Hi Jules, > > You are definitely not the only one who struggles with the holidays. Every > year I dreaded the holidays because nada made them a nightmare. Every year > after another awful Thanksgiving and Christmas I always told myself that it > would be the last and I would boycott the next years. > > I went " no-contact " with my nada a little over a year ago and even though > she wasn't a part of our holidays last year I still found myself dreading > them and bracing myself for the worst. > > This is the first year that I am actually looking forward to the holidays. > My husband and I have decided to simplify them and not make them a big deal > or feel obligated to please people we don't even care for that much. We are > going to eat some nice meals and surround ourselves with people we do want > to be around. Enjoy any time I have to relax. I won't lie there is still a > part of me in the back of my mind that wonders and worries if nada will > find a way to rear her ugly head, but I'm still going to do what makes me, > my family and the people we do care about happy. > > Good luck and and I hope you find happy holidays! > > ~Shann > > > > > > Hi all, > > I suspect I'm not the only one who struggles with the holiday season. I > typically HATE the holidays and it doesn't help that my partner is pretty > bah humbug as well. I really want to be " in the spirit " but I have so many > past hurts associated with the holidays not to mention my family is super > fragmented. In the past I focused on making the holidays about my boys but > they are getting older now and toys just aren't that interesting and, like > everyone else, money is tight. I'm seriously considering boycotting > christmas all together since we have no religious attachments. > > I feel like what might help me feel better about the holidays is to find > a way to reclaim them as my own. I think all the other years my coping > mechanism has been in the form of distraction which in my mond is really > just avoidance. > > > > I'm curious what you all have done to help yourselves during the > holidays. How have you reclaimed the holidays as your own? I loved hearing > about AFB's holiday plans. That's wonderful!! > > Jules > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 25, 2011 Report Share Posted November 25, 2011 Hi Jules: I loce the holidays but not with my nada and brothers. Last year I told them all I was spending Christmas on my own and I am planning the same thing this year. Whether or not I go to friends is none of their business. I am gearing up to tell my nada for this year - let the drama and accusations and rages begin!!!!!!!! I am biding my time right now. Koko > > Hi all, > I suspect I'm not the only one who struggles with the holiday season. I typically HATE the holidays and it doesn't help that my partner is pretty bah humbug as well. I really want to be " in the spirit " but I have so many past hurts associated with the holidays not to mention my family is super fragmented. In the past I focused on making the holidays about my boys but they are getting older now and toys just aren't that interesting and, like everyone else, money is tight. I'm seriously considering boycotting christmas all together since we have no religious attachments. > I feel like what might help me feel better about the holidays is to find a way to reclaim them as my own. I think all the other years my coping mechanism has been in the form of distraction which in my mond is really just avoidance. > > I'm curious what you all have done to help yourselves during the holidays. How have you reclaimed the holidays as your own? I loved hearing about AFB's holiday plans. That's wonderful!! > Jules > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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