NC and extended family, children

[Guest guest]

I am looking at going NC sometime in the next 6 months to a year, as soon as I

can financially get myself in a stable position. At worst it will be very very

LC with my dad and hopefully permanent NC with my mother. I have two nephews

that I absolutely adore. I would like to hear people's experience with going NC

or LC and if they were able to maintain relationships with any extended family

or the effects the LC or NC had with their nieces and nephews. I have no

children so the older child is practically like my own child, he is the

pathologized child of the bpd SIL, and I have been a supportive person in his

life and tried to fill in the gaps in the last year and a half. Now that he and

his brother are closer in developmental stages he is needing me less and playing

with his brother more...it is a terrible thing to have to anticipate leaving him

but the time has come where I am not going to be able to hang onto my sanity if

I don't start getting out...all my things are in storage except absolute

necessities, and now it's just a matter of getting my finances straight. Have

people been able to hold onto those relationships with siblings' children, or

have they had to let go? All the relationships I have had with older extended

family have been poisoned by my father's lifelong character assassination of me

as 'crazy' (probably due to crimes he committed, it's to his advantage the whole

family think of me as crazy and a terrible person) so I don't have to worry

about those relationships as they are all destroyed. But losing the one with

the children is going to be tough, especially since their mother is very low

functioning bpd.

[Guest guest]

My situation was different, since I did not know about BPD when I went NC the

first time.

I did not try to contact any of the extended family. I was feeling shamed that

my family was so effed up, didn't want to give explanations that would put any

of them in the middle, and was already concerned about what nada may have

already said to them about me. My sister and I actually became closer without

nada controlling the communication between us.

It would be a miracle if nada or SIL didn't try to withhold the boys from you.

But perhaps they will be so happy to have each other that they won't being

acting out against you. Sick, but possible.

>

> I am looking at going NC sometime in the next 6 months to a year, as soon as I

can financially get myself in a stable position. At worst it will be very very

LC with my dad and hopefully permanent NC with my mother. I have two nephews

that I absolutely adore. I would like to hear people's experience with going NC

or LC and if they were able to maintain relationships with any extended family

or the effects the LC or NC had with their nieces and nephews. I have no

children so the older child is practically like my own child, he is the

pathologized child of the bpd SIL, and I have been a supportive person in his

life and tried to fill in the gaps in the last year and a half. Now that he and

his brother are closer in developmental stages he is needing me less and playing

with his brother more...it is a terrible thing to have to anticipate leaving him

but the time has come where I am not going to be able to hang onto my sanity if

I don't start getting out...all my things are in storage except absolute

necessities, and now it's just a matter of getting my finances straight. Have

people been able to hold onto those relationships with siblings' children, or

have they had to let go? All the relationships I have had with older extended

family have been poisoned by my father's lifelong character assassination of me

as 'crazy' (probably due to crimes he committed, it's to his advantage the whole

family think of me as crazy and a terrible person) so I don't have to worry

about those relationships as they are all destroyed. But losing the one with

the children is going to be tough, especially since their mother is very low

functioning bpd.

>

[Guest guest]

my mother always has to have someone in the persecutor corner. when I told my

therapist about this board and going NC and stuff, she said " I wonder who her

persecutor will be when you leave? "

lol, it will probably be my poor dad and that will finish him off. she is going

to get her wish, because she is going to end up being the slave of my SIL, and

there won't be a person left around to fight her battles after having me run off

and fada having been done in by it. whatever, she will reap what she is sowing.

> >

> > I am looking at going NC sometime in the next 6 months to a year, as soon as

I can financially get myself in a stable position. At worst it will be very very

LC with my dad and hopefully permanent NC with my mother. I have two nephews

that I absolutely adore. I would like to hear people's experience with going NC

or LC and if they were able to maintain relationships with any extended family

or the effects the LC or NC had with their nieces and nephews. I have no

children so the older child is practically like my own child, he is the

pathologized child of the bpd SIL, and I have been a supportive person in his

life and tried to fill in the gaps in the last year and a half. Now that he and

his brother are closer in developmental stages he is needing me less and playing

with his brother more...it is a terrible thing to have to anticipate leaving him

but the time has come where I am not going to be able to hang onto my sanity if

I don't start getting out...all my things are in storage except absolute

necessities, and now it's just a matter of getting my finances straight. Have

people been able to hold onto those relationships with siblings' children, or

have they had to let go? All the relationships I have had with older extended

family have been poisoned by my father's lifelong character assassination of me

as 'crazy' (probably due to crimes he committed, it's to his advantage the whole

family think of me as crazy and a terrible person) so I don't have to worry

about those relationships as they are all destroyed. But losing the one with

the children is going to be tough, especially since their mother is very low

functioning bpd.

> >

>