Guest guest Posted June 13, 2011 Report Share Posted June 13, 2011 Hello All! It's been another long break since I've posted. Long story short... well, I'm not that good of a summarizer. I went NC with Nada just over a year ago. I turned 20 last February, and I have one last semester in college left this fall (which I got a dependency override for so I have financial aid!!!). I went on a Taglit/Birthright (aka free) trip to Israel and extended my stay with scholarships and anonymous donations. Ever since the end of May I've had Nada on the brain. As much as she seems to hate Jewish people (despite being one, albeit a practicing Christian), she would have loved Tel Aviv. All I can think about is how much SHE would like *this* and *that* and so on and so forth. Ex. Tel Aviv has everything she misses about California (progressive, on the beach, warm) and everything she loves about NYC (big city, arts, culture, etc). I just miss her SO much all of a sudden. I'm starting to have flashbacks and dreams with her in them and it makes me wanna cry. It's also kind of triggering at the place I'm staying (a free hostel that tries to get you to be more religious... I'm already religious so it worked out well) there are a lot of people who still get help and support from their parents. Things would be so much easier if I could go back to my mother (rationally, she's terrible with finances and probably wouldn't be able to help me diddley-squat anyways). I'm in Israel until August because I love it here so much. I don't want to spend three months (all total) just thinking about her. Is this normal after the one-year NC anniversary? Any tips? -Maia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 13, 2011 Report Share Posted June 13, 2011 congrats on the dependency override, that is awesome. I know what you mean about missing her. It's kind of like a drug though, it feels good initially but you know in the end the effect is not going to be good. Can you maybe write a letter and tell her all the things you want to share with her, as if you are going to send it but then don't? Get the narrative all out on paper and out of your head, so you push your mind through the experience of expressing these things as you hear it in your head, but then don't send the letter... then maybe delete it in a few days? It really helps me to do this, if I have dialogue that just won't cease going on in my head (i.e. " i want to say this, and I want to tell her that " to get it out, give my mind the opportunity to express those things, those thoughts as they actually are, without going any further with it) > > Hello All! > > It's been another long break since I've posted. Long story short... well, I'm not that good of a summarizer. I went NC with Nada just over a year ago. I turned 20 last February, and I have one last semester in college left this fall (which I got a dependency override for so I have financial aid!!!). > > I went on a Taglit/Birthright (aka free) trip to Israel and extended my stay with scholarships and anonymous donations. Ever since the end of May I've had Nada on the brain. As much as she seems to hate Jewish people (despite being one, albeit a practicing Christian), she would have loved Tel Aviv. All I can think about is how much SHE would like *this* and *that* and so on and so forth. Ex. Tel Aviv has everything she misses about California (progressive, on the beach, warm) and everything she loves about NYC (big city, arts, culture, etc). I just miss her SO much all of a sudden. I'm starting to have flashbacks and dreams with her in them and it makes me wanna cry. It's also kind of triggering at the place I'm staying (a free hostel that tries to get you to be more religious... I'm already religious so it worked out well) there are a lot of people who still get help and support from their parents. Things would be so much easier if I could go back to my mother (rationally, she's terrible with finances and probably wouldn't be able to help me diddley-squat anyways). > > I'm in Israel until August because I love it here so much. I don't want to spend three months (all total) just thinking about her. Is this normal after the one-year NC anniversary? Any tips? > > -Maia > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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