Funny what info just pops out

[Guest guest]

Met Dad & nada for breakfast this morning. Dad started talking about his dad,

who died when I was 17. We rarely saw his parents because they lived 2000 miles

away. I had heard over time that grandpa was a rager, but was never around him

enough to see this.

Dad discussed his dad's episodes-- " He would fly into a complete rage, leaving

himself. " I asked for elaboration. " He would go completely berserk, rip the

offender to pieces, and 5 minutes later not remember being angry or what he

said. " He also would get even with people by laying verbal traps to trip people

up in conversation, then flay them to get even.

I know he had trouble keeping a job early in life and finding a career niche.

Later in life he fell into deep " poor me " depression, and eventually willed

himself to death.

At one point my grandfather went in to a psychiatrist and explained he couldn't

remember anger episodes that upset everyone else--probably in 50's. The Dr. told

him not to worry, since he was concerned it meant he wasn't crazy (thank God

psychology research has improved). Gramps KNEW there was something wrong; it

saddens me no help was available. His coping mechanism when he felt rage coming

on was to isolate himself, spend his rage alone, and then return.

I informed Dad that his father fit classic BPD pattern, and explained it in

detail. I did not explain to him that he 'married' his father--my nada--his wife

of 51 years. No way. If he can't see the pattern (the rages, the lack of

accountability, the miserable, negative victim) who am I to point it out? She

listened quietly to my recitation, probably wondering why I knew so much about

BPD.

So instead I told nada about NPD (her mother) and sent her the Harpy's child

link. They can use the info, or ignore it, however they wish.

I was blown away to finally make this connection--and it was almost bizarre to

be discussing BPD across the table with nada, my bordeline poster child! What a

HOOT!