Guest guest Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Hi everyone: I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2011 Report Share Posted June 19, 2011 Welcome to the Group, M. The kinds of extreme behaviors you're describing that you endured are just beyond horrific and incredibly sadistic. Its beyond comprehension how a mother could tell her little 5 year old child that she deserved to be molested. Holy Freaking Cow! In my own personal opinion, " extreme " borderline pd behaviors such as you have described are actually indicative of psychopathy. Those with psychopathy have no sense of empathy (ability to identify with and care about the feelings of others), they have no sense of right and wrong (no conscience), and no remorse for the harm they do. (Any remorse they express is for their own self; they're mighty sorry they got caught, or might get caught.) They consider other people to be mere objects, and treat them like things instead of like fellow human beings worthy of respect and consideration. (Other people are just tools for them to manipulate, use, exploit, and give them what they want at the moment.) Psychopaths believe that rules and laws are for other, lesser beings than themselves, and they have no compunction about engaging in criminal activities. For the psychopath life is just a game, and its about winning the game at any cost. Psychopathy has all the characteristics of narcissistic pd (pathological self-involvement, total self-interest above all else) plus a criminal streak. They have the ability to appear charming, attractive, intelligent and engaging in public, and yet do horrific things to their family or to anonymous victims in secret. Basically, all serial killers are psychopaths, but not all psychopaths are serial killers. They might just be that nice next-door neighbor you just met, a co-worker, or your boss. (The books " The Mask of Sanity " and " The Sociopath Next Door " are about this " garden variety " type of psychopath.) Borderline pd is more about cognitive distortion (perceiving reality in a skewed, negative way), emotional dysregulation (rapid, extreme mood swings), extreme, inappropriate anger, fear of abandonment, black-and-white thinking, having no core sense of self, and having breaks with reality under stress, high impulsivity, a tendency to self-harm as a self-soothing technique, and a higher-than-average successful suicide rate. But its also possible for a person to have more than one mental illness going on at the same time; so a person could have borderline pd traits and antisocial pd (or psychopathy) at the same time. I'm so sorry you had to undergo such horrific treatment. No child deserves to be raised in torment and chaos. You will get no criticism from me if you needed to go completely No Contact with your mother and grandmother to protect yourself. In my opinion, simply protecting yourself from an abusive, toxic, dangerous person, even if its your mother or your husband or your child, is morally neutral. Just removing yourself to safety does not make you a bad person, in my opinion anyway. So, welcome to the Group. We understand what you're talking about. -Annie > > Hi everyone: > I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. > > After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. > > Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. > > M > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 M, what a nightmare. I'm so sorry for all you've been through. I understand what you mean by the guilt of " abandoning. " But you were for all intents and purposes abandoned emotionally and mentally by your " mother. " So, TS to those flying monkeys who hand you that load of poop. What she said and did was criminal. I'm glad you're here with us. btw, your post wasn't long at all! I've posted some doozies. You can always vent here. > > Hi everyone: > I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. > > After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. > > Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. > > M > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 20, 2011 Report Share Posted June 20, 2011 Hi I really relate to you. My mother and her mother are Brazilian and they have BPD I believe. I think the violence is really heinous that some children endure. ---------- Please excuse any typos or terseness, this message was sent from a mobile device. Hello from a new member Hi everyone: I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 21, 2011 Report Share Posted June 21, 2011 Hey, I just wanted to say your story moved me immensely. It's a terrible thing to have been through. Well done for being brave enough to put your needs first - I know how hard this can be when you are brainwashed into putting everyone else's needs first since childhood. I can understand the family pressure thing - part of my family are from the Middle East...there is a similar pressure to respect and care for your parents under all circumstances...All I can say is this is a mad way of thinking, when you are being abused! You only live once (I think...) and if you allow yourself to be abused for your whole life, you're essentially sacrificing your whole life in my mind. Stay strong! No-one here is judging you Sara > > Hi I really relate to you. My mother and her mother are Brazilian and they have BPD I believe. I think the violence is really heinous that some children endure. > > ---------- > Please excuse any typos or terseness, this message was sent from a mobile device. > > Hello from a new member > > Hi everyone: > I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. > > After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. > > Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. > > M > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 2011 Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 Oh, i have plenty more horrible examples of her bad behaviors toward me. She protects my brothers like crazy. I just saw my dad and I asked him if iwas sexually molested by the gardener. My dad told me that after the incident, he had me checked with a doctor and i was intact meaning the man touched me but didnt rape me. I have no memories of the incident and i wan to keep it that way. Since the incident, my mom used tocall me Mrs Gardener. I believe my mom is a psycopath and a sadist. I have seen her take extreme pleasure for making people suffer. My grandmofther used to laugh when she made me kneel, ask for forgiveness and cry. I know they have bpd but are they also evil? > > > > Hi everyone: > > I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. > > > > After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. > > > > Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. > > > > M > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 2011 Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 I think that those kinds of *behaviors* and acts are evil. Deliberately tormenting, shaming and humiliating a child " just for fun " , is sadistic, I agree. Sexually exploiting a child, or *allowing* a child to be tormented, hurt, or sexually exploited is pure evil, in my opinion, particularly if the tormenting, bullying sadist is the child's own mother or father. Whether that makes the person evil or not is a philosophical or spiritual question that I can't answer. But the deeds sure as hell are Pure Evil, in my opinion. And no child should have to endure that. -Annie > > > > > > Hi everyone: > > > I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. > > > > > > After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. > > > > > > Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. > > > > > > M > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 2011 Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 I agree with your assessment. She is a psycho and check this out: she makes a living by been a psychic! I really don't like watching her do readings and manipulate people the way she does and then she makes fun of the same customers who pay her $100 a session for her lies. I really wish people realized how bad of a person she is and stop enabling her behavior but for now, i snappy i checked out of " Misery Hotel " > > > > Hi everyone: > > I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. > > > > After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. > > > > Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. > > > > M > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 2011 Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 Thank you for your words. I now know that walking away from her was the best thing for me. Im the happiest, calm and stable person i always wanted to be. > > > > > > > > Hi everyone: > > > > I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. > > > > > > > > After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. > > > > > > > > Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. > > > > > > > > M > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 2011 Report Share Posted June 26, 2011 So you understand my fear. Every time i go to colombia, im always looking over my shoulder for the guy who might shoot me. My mom runs her mouth to her mafia friends about what a bad daughter i am. She says i am a demon. My fear is that 1 of those animals believe her lies and decides to scare me or harm me. I know is all about controlling me but im determined to erase her from my life. A parent shouldn't try to harm her child. > > Hi I really relate to you. My mother and her mother are Brazilian and they have BPD I believe. I think the violence is really heinous that some children endure. > > ---------- > Please excuse any typos or terseness, this message was sent from a mobile device. > > Hello from a new member > > Hi everyone: > I am very happy to have found this group. I am 38 years old and the daughter of a extreme BDP mom. Up to this year, I have lived my life in terror and chaos because my extreme BDP mom and BDP grandmother (my mother's mom). My therapist even jokes that I must have had the Seal Team 6 of guardian angels taking care of me because I have been through hell with those 2 women torturing all my life. I was also molested as a child and these 2 women took real pleasure in reminding me that I deserved been molested (at 5 years old). We are Colombians and my mother loves to use her mafia connections to scare me... like she said she was going to have her people kill my husband and beat me to steal my son from me. > > After almost a year in therapy, I know now what BDP is and I understand my mother has it. At this point, I have ceased all contact with the woman but coming from a latin family, I do face a lot of judging and criticism for " abandoning " her and my younger brothers. I really want to get out of this group the support and advice of all of you who know what is like to have a extreme BDP mother. > > Thank you all and sorry for my long first post. > > M > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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