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Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to thank you all.

I've only been with this group for a couple of weeks and I can't believe the

shift in my brain. many thanks to you all.

here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to the Galapapos

Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers, wives, nieces and nephews.

It starts the day after Christmas. It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa

for all of us), on an island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped! Plus the added

ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this is a huge expensive set

up...the super, deluxe family, guilt, shame, look at me, deal with me and fight

amongst yourselves, fun family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and

weighing the options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that hiding behind my

camera would provide the necessary protection. but I was still freaking out

about it. Yesterday I came up with a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo

documentary of my family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait

for the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about when and how

the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be waiting for it!! and instead

of being anxious and panicked, I'll be excited to have it to capture! The plan

will be to shoot her (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my

family. The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter performing, the shock and

awe in response to some of her comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography

assignment has taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

something useful for others struggling with BP in their families.

I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my excitement?

~Debbie

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I think that is a freaking AWESOME idea, a very creative solution to your

dilemma, and it could not only benefit you but possibly it could be very

educational for others in revealing the dynamics of a family that has a

borderline pd/narcissistic pd matriarch.

I think that particular kind of " reality show " is overdue on TV. The show about

" Hoarders " was highly educational and eye-opening for the public, revealing the

ways that those with obsessive-compulsive personality disorder that manifests as

hoarding think and act and how dysfunctional that is.

(Note: obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is not exactly the same thing

as obsessive-compulsive disorder; its confusing that the names are so similar.)

Reality shows about those with various personality disorders and how these

disordered behaviors and dynamics negatively impact the family of the pd

individual are very urgently needed, seems to me. The closest thing to what you

have in mind is a documentary called " Gray Gardens " , about an elderly mother and

her middle-aged daughter, and I think both of them had personality disorder;

probably npd.

So I say Go For It! Big Thumb's Up from me!

-Annie

>

> Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to thank you all.

I've only been with this group for a couple of weeks and I can't believe the

shift in my brain. many thanks to you all.

>

> here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to the Galapapos

Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers, wives, nieces and nephews.

It starts the day after Christmas. It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa

for all of us), on an island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped! Plus the added

ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this is a huge expensive set

up...the super, deluxe family, guilt, shame, look at me, deal with me and fight

amongst yourselves, fun family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and

weighing the options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

>

> I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that hiding behind

my camera would provide the necessary protection. but I was still freaking out

about it. Yesterday I came up with a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo

documentary of my family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait

for the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about when and how

the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be waiting for it!! and instead

of being anxious and panicked, I'll be excited to have it to capture! The plan

will be to shoot her (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my

family. The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter performing, the shock and

awe in response to some of her comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography

assignment has taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

something useful for others struggling with BP in their families.

>

> I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my excitement?

>

> ~Debbie

>

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I think its great if you want to continue contact/LC. If not, I would just

say no thanks.

Will your kids be ok?

On Tue, Nov 29, 2011 at 10:09 AM, anuria67854 wrote:

> **

>

>

> I think that is a freaking AWESOME idea, a very creative solution to your

> dilemma, and it could not only benefit you but possibly it could be very

> educational for others in revealing the dynamics of a family that has a

> borderline pd/narcissistic pd matriarch.

>

> I think that particular kind of " reality show " is overdue on TV. The show

> about " Hoarders " was highly educational and eye-opening for the public,

> revealing the ways that those with obsessive-compulsive personality

> disorder that manifests as hoarding think and act and how dysfunctional

> that is.

>

> (Note: obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is not exactly the same

> thing as obsessive-compulsive disorder; its confusing that the names are so

> similar.)

>

> Reality shows about those with various personality disorders and how these

> disordered behaviors and dynamics negatively impact the family of the pd

> individual are very urgently needed, seems to me. The closest thing to what

> you have in mind is a documentary called " Gray Gardens " , about an elderly

> mother and her middle-aged daughter, and I think both of them had

> personality disorder; probably npd.

>

> So I say Go For It! Big Thumb's Up from me!

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to thank you

> all. I've only been with this group for a couple of weeks and I can't

> believe the shift in my brain. many thanks to you all.

> >

> > here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to the

> Galapapos Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers, wives, nieces

> and nephews. It starts the day after Christmas. It involves living in a

> villa (yes, 1 villa for all of us), on an island, taking day boat trips

> each day to another islands, exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats,

> villa-- 1 week, trapped! Plus the added ingredient that she payed for it

> all. I know this is a huge expensive set up...the super, deluxe family,

> guilt, shame, look at me, deal with me and fight amongst yourselves, fun

> family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and weighing the options of

> going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

> >

> > I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that hiding

> behind my camera would provide the necessary protection. but I was still

> freaking out about it. Yesterday I came up with a great idea-- I'm going to

> do a photo documentary of my family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the

> whole time-- wait for the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be

> afraid about when and how the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll

> be waiting for it!! and instead of being anxious and panicked, I'll be

> excited to have it to capture! The plan will be to shoot her (pardon the

> pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my family. The reactions everyone

> has in response to her. My older brother withdrawing, my younger brother

> competing, my daughter performing, the shock and awe in response to some of

> her comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography assignment has taken

> the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with something useful for

> others struggling with BP in their families.

> >

> > I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my

> excitement?

> >

> > ~Debbie

> >

>

>

>

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It would be cool if you could edit it all up and put it online as a

documentary someday, lol.

On Tue, Nov 29, 2011 at 1:54 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <

girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote:

> I think its great if you want to continue contact/LC. If not, I would just

> say no thanks.

>

> Will your kids be ok?

>

> On Tue, Nov 29, 2011 at 10:09 AM, anuria67854 <anuria-67854@...

> >wrote:

>

> > **

> >

> >

> > I think that is a freaking AWESOME idea, a very creative solution to your

> > dilemma, and it could not only benefit you but possibly it could be very

> > educational for others in revealing the dynamics of a family that has a

> > borderline pd/narcissistic pd matriarch.

> >

> > I think that particular kind of " reality show " is overdue on TV. The show

> > about " Hoarders " was highly educational and eye-opening for the public,

> > revealing the ways that those with obsessive-compulsive personality

> > disorder that manifests as hoarding think and act and how dysfunctional

> > that is.

> >

> > (Note: obsessive-compulsive personality disorder is not exactly the same

> > thing as obsessive-compulsive disorder; its confusing that the names are

> so

> > similar.)

> >

> > Reality shows about those with various personality disorders and how

> these

> > disordered behaviors and dynamics negatively impact the family of the pd

> > individual are very urgently needed, seems to me. The closest thing to

> what

> > you have in mind is a documentary called " Gray Gardens " , about an elderly

> > mother and her middle-aged daughter, and I think both of them had

> > personality disorder; probably npd.

> >

> > So I say Go For It! Big Thumb's Up from me!

> >

> > -Annie

> >

> >

> >

> > >

> > > Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to thank you

> > all. I've only been with this group for a couple of weeks and I can't

> > believe the shift in my brain. many thanks to you all.

> > >

> > > here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to the

> > Galapapos Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers, wives,

> nieces

> > and nephews. It starts the day after Christmas. It involves living in a

> > villa (yes, 1 villa for all of us), on an island, taking day boat trips

> > each day to another islands, exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats,

> > villa-- 1 week, trapped! Plus the added ingredient that she payed for it

> > all. I know this is a huge expensive set up...the super, deluxe family,

> > guilt, shame, look at me, deal with me and fight amongst yourselves, fun

> > family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and weighing the options of

> > going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

> > >

> > > I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that hiding

> > behind my camera would provide the necessary protection. but I was still

> > freaking out about it. Yesterday I came up with a great idea-- I'm going

> to

> > do a photo documentary of my family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the

> > whole time-- wait for the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be

> > afraid about when and how the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll

> > be waiting for it!! and instead of being anxious and panicked, I'll be

> > excited to have it to capture! The plan will be to shoot her (pardon the

> > pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my family. The reactions

> everyone

> > has in response to her. My older brother withdrawing, my younger brother

> > competing, my daughter performing, the shock and awe in response to some

> of

> > her comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography assignment has taken

> > the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with something useful for

> > others struggling with BP in their families.

> > >

> > > I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my

> > excitement?

> > >

> > > ~Debbie

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

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I think it is very clever. Now if you are supposed to do some group thing that

you really don't want to be included in, perhaps you can have an out by

mentioning you were planning on taking pics of it or another activity another

part of your group was doing at the same time? Options, choice, nice. I am happy

for you.

> >

> > Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to thank you all.

I've only been with this group for a couple of weeks and I can't believe the

shift in my brain. many thanks to you all.

> >

> > here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to the Galapapos

Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers, wives, nieces and nephews.

It starts the day after Christmas. It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa

for all of us), on an island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped! Plus the added

ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this is a huge expensive set

up...the super, deluxe family, guilt, shame, look at me, deal with me and fight

amongst yourselves, fun family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and

weighing the options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

> >

> > I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that hiding behind

my camera would provide the necessary protection. but I was still freaking out

about it. Yesterday I came up with a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo

documentary of my family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait

for the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about when and how

the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be waiting for it!! and instead

of being anxious and panicked, I'll be excited to have it to capture! The plan

will be to shoot her (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my

family. The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter performing, the shock and

awe in response to some of her comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography

assignment has taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

something useful for others struggling with BP in their families.

> >

> > I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my excitement?

> >

> > ~Debbie

> >

>

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Oh. My. Gosh. That is a FANTASTIC idea!! It provides you with a kind of buffer

and at the same time you can capture the craziness.

I wonder, too, if your family ever sees it, if any of them (your brothers,

others) might finally have an " aha " moment and realize there's some dysfunction.

Good for you on finding a clever way to disengage.

>

> Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to thank you all.

I've only been with this group for a couple of weeks and I can't believe the

shift in my brain. many thanks to you all.

>

> here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to the Galapapos

Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers, wives, nieces and nephews.

It starts the day after Christmas. It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa

for all of us), on an island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped! Plus the added

ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this is a huge expensive set

up...the super, deluxe family, guilt, shame, look at me, deal with me and fight

amongst yourselves, fun family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and

weighing the options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

>

> I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that hiding behind

my camera would provide the necessary protection. but I was still freaking out

about it. Yesterday I came up with a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo

documentary of my family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait

for the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about when and how

the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be waiting for it!! and instead

of being anxious and panicked, I'll be excited to have it to capture! The plan

will be to shoot her (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my

family. The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter performing, the shock and

awe in response to some of her comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography

assignment has taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

something useful for others struggling with BP in their families.

>

> I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my excitement?

>

> ~Debbie

>

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Share on other sites

Nothing-its a great idea. Wish I could tape her conversatoins, she now forgets

things she said to me that I will never forget.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 8:28 AM

Subject: Re: Great Idea!!!

Â

Oh. My. Gosh. That is a FANTASTIC idea!! It provides you with a kind of buffer

and at the same time you can capture the craziness.

I wonder, too, if your family ever sees it, if any of them (your brothers,

others) might finally have an " aha " moment and realize there's some dysfunction.

Good for you on finding a clever way to disengage.

>

> Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to thank you all.

I've only been with this group for a couple of weeks and I can't believe the

shift in my brain. many thanks to you all.

>

> here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to the Galapapos

Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers, wives, nieces and nephews.

It starts the day after Christmas. It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa

for all of us), on an island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped! Plus the added

ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this is a huge expensive set

up...the super, deluxe family, guilt, shame, look at me, deal with me and fight

amongst yourselves, fun family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and

weighing the options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

>

> I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that hiding behind

my camera would provide the necessary protection. but I was still freaking out

about it. Yesterday I came up with a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo

documentary of my family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait

for the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about when and how

the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be waiting for it!! and instead

of being anxious and panicked, I'll be excited to have it to capture! The plan

will be to shoot her (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my

family. The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter performing, the shock and

awe in response to some of her comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography

assignment has taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

something useful for others

struggling with BP in their families.

>

> I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my excitement?

>

> ~Debbie

>

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Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Thanks to you all for your encouraging words! Although it's been extremely

rocky with my Mom and now brother since I had the idea, I still plan to go

through with it. Christmas will be a HUGE challenge as I don't plan to spend it

with her and I can only imagine the backlash, especially with the trip starting

the following day. But I really need every moment before the trip to be as

clear headed as possible. I'll really need your support for this!

The other thing I realized when planning this, is that I'm going to keep the

project a secret from my family. This will allow the situations to unfold in a

natural way and allow me to capture them uncensored. But what I didn't realize

when I made this decision, was that keeping it private gave me power! I've

always felt as though I wasn't deserving of privacy. What is mine is meant for

my Mom, even my thoughts and desires. So, having this secret and deciding who I

tell about it gives me this (very foreign) warm feeling of strength inside of

me! Does anyone else relate to this? It really hits home just how invasive she

has been and also explains how vulnerable I make myself in all my relationships.

Overexposing my inner thoughts and struggles before they can be taken from me.

thanks again for all the positive support!

~Debbie

> >

> > Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to thank you all.

I've only been with this group for a couple of weeks and I can't believe the

shift in my brain. many thanks to you all.

> >

> > here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to the Galapapos

Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers, wives, nieces and nephews.

It starts the day after Christmas. It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa

for all of us), on an island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped! Plus the added

ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this is a huge expensive set

up...the super, deluxe family, guilt, shame, look at me, deal with me and fight

amongst yourselves, fun family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and

weighing the options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

> >

> > I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that hiding behind

my camera would provide the necessary protection. but I was still freaking out

about it. Yesterday I came up with a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo

documentary of my family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait

for the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about when and how

the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be waiting for it!! and instead

of being anxious and panicked, I'll be excited to have it to capture! The plan

will be to shoot her (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my

family. The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter performing, the shock and

awe in response to some of her comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography

assignment has taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

something useful for others

> struggling with BP in their families.

> >

> > I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my excitement?

> >

> > ~Debbie

> >

>

>

>

>

>

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I'll be thinking of you. Keep us posted. the support here is

great!

Steph

Re: Great Idea!!!

Thanks to you all for your encouraging words! Although it's been

extremely rocky with my Mom and now brother since I had the idea,

I still plan to go through with it. Christmas will be a HUGE

challenge as I don't plan to spend it with her and I can only

imagine the backlash, especially with the trip starting the

following day. But I really need every moment before the trip to

be as clear headed as possible. I'll really need your support

for this!

The other thing I realized when planning this, is that I'm going

to keep the project a secret from my family. This will allow the

situations to unfold in a natural way and allow me to capture

them uncensored. But what I didn't realize when I made this

decision, was that keeping it private gave me power! I've always

felt as though I wasn't deserving of privacy. What is mine is

meant for my Mom, even my thoughts and desires. So, having this

secret and deciding who I tell about it gives me this (very

foreign) warm feeling of strength inside of me! Does anyone else

relate to this? It really hits home just how invasive she has

been and also explains how vulnerable I make myself in all my

relationships. Overexposing my inner thoughts and struggles

before they can be taken from me.

thanks again for all the positive support!

~Debbie

Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to

thank you all. I've only been with this group for a couple of

weeks and I can't believe the shift in my brain. many thanks to

you all.

here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to

the Galapapos Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers,

wives, nieces and nephews. It starts the day after Christmas.

It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa for all of us), on an

island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped!

Plus the added ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this

is a huge expensive set up...the super, deluxe family, guilt,

shame, look at me, deal with me and fight amongst yourselves, fun

family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and weighing the

options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that

hiding behind my camera would provide the necessary protection.

but I was still freaking out about it. Yesterday I came up with

a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo documentary of my

family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait for

the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about

when and how the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be

waiting for it!! and instead of being anxious and panicked, I'll

be excited to have it to capture! The plan will be to shoot her

(pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my family.

The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter

performing, the shock and awe in response to some of her

comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography assignment has

taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

something useful for others

struggling with BP in their families.

I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my

excitement?

~Debbie

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm FREAKING out!!! The trip is rapidly approaching (6 days) and I'm sliding

backward into the FOG!! I found out that there are only 5 bedrooms for 12 of

us, when my Mom had said that the villa slept 24!! I was really counting on

having some private space to escape to, now thats not an option. I keep telling

myself that I'm in control, I'll have my 3 kids to focus on, to detatch if

theres a threat of any craziness... I'll have my camera to hide behind, ipad

with books, journal....but I'm really panicked anyway. I felt so strong a few

weeks ago, dealt so calmly with her on the phone and really felt for the 1st

time that it really was her and not me! Now that I haven't had contact with her

for the past few weeks, I'm really slipping. I'm SO afraid -- all I can picture

is me being trapped -- on a boat, on an island, in a plane, in an airport, in

this villa!!! I'm so afraid of not being able to hold it together and falling

apart in front of her-- her knowing I'm upset, and that she's gotten to me would

be REALLY bad!!

Please, any help would be great!

~D

>

> Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to

> thank you all. I've only been with this group for a couple of

> weeks and I can't believe the shift in my brain. many thanks to

> you all.

>

> here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to

> the Galapapos Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers,

> wives, nieces and nephews. It starts the day after Christmas.

> It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa for all of us), on an

> island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

> exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped!

> Plus the added ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this

> is a huge expensive set up...the super, deluxe family, guilt,

> shame, look at me, deal with me and fight amongst yourselves, fun

> family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and weighing the

> options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

>

> I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that

> hiding behind my camera would provide the necessary protection.

> but I was still freaking out about it. Yesterday I came up with

> a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo documentary of my

> family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait for

> the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about

> when and how the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be

> waiting for it!! and instead of being anxious and panicked, I'll

> be excited to have it to capture! The plan will be to shoot her

> (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my family.

> The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

> withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter

> performing, the shock and awe in response to some of her

> comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography assignment has

> taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

> something useful for others

> struggling with BP in their families.

>

> I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my

> excitement?

>

> ~Debbie

>

>

>

>

>

>

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I understand the trapped feeling, entirely. Yes, 12 people and 5 bedrooms does

not work out to each couple having their own bedroom, does it. Perhaps one

couple is expected to take the living room/den/rec-room that has a sofa-bed?

Maybe it will help if you do some research and find out if there is a hotel or

motel near this villa, so that if the shared living conditions turn out to be

really abominable or intolerable to you, you can have a nice private room & bath

reserved at the nearby hotel/motel and stay there, instead. (Jane Goodall never

slept with the chimps she was observing, she had her own home and went to an

observation post to watch and record their activities.)

In my opinion, its NOT a *vacation* AT ALL if you have to share your room with

another couple, or even with your kids, as that automatically precludes having

any privacy and any sex at all. Me personally, I don't mind sharing a bathroom,

but I really, really need my own bedroom and privacy in order to sleep well and

really relax... and ESCAPE.

You can always bow out after a day or two if you discover that this " vacation in

paradise " is more like being slowly roasted to death over hot coals, perhaps by

claiming that you are coming down with something nasty and contagious. Gosh

darn, don't want you guys to get this too, I'd better go home now and take some

antibiotics...

That's all I can think of for now, if I think of some other ideas, I'll post

them.

Best of luck to you!

-Annie

> >

> > Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to

> > thank you all. I've only been with this group for a couple of

> > weeks and I can't believe the shift in my brain. many thanks to

> > you all.

> >

> > here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to

> > the Galapapos Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers,

> > wives, nieces and nephews. It starts the day after Christmas.

> > It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa for all of us), on an

> > island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

> > exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped!

> > Plus the added ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this

> > is a huge expensive set up...the super, deluxe family, guilt,

> > shame, look at me, deal with me and fight amongst yourselves, fun

> > family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and weighing the

> > options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

> >

> > I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that

> > hiding behind my camera would provide the necessary protection.

> > but I was still freaking out about it. Yesterday I came up with

> > a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo documentary of my

> > family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait for

> > the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about

> > when and how the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be

> > waiting for it!! and instead of being anxious and panicked, I'll

> > be excited to have it to capture! The plan will be to shoot her

> > (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my family.

> > The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

> > withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter

> > performing, the shock and awe in response to some of her

> > comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography assignment has

> > taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

> > something useful for others

> > struggling with BP in their families.

> >

> > I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my

> > excitement?

> >

> > ~Debbie

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

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I can't believe I agreed to do this. My Mom handed the idea of the Galapagos

Family vacation to her travel agent and never lifted a finger. so I don't think

anyone knew how few bedrooms there were. the group is: me, I divorced, fairy

recentl, my 2 brothers and their wives, my 3 adult kids, and 3 younger nieces

and nephews, and my Mom. She and I are the only single adults--she was probably

hoping to room with me!

I like your idea of looking into area hotels-- the only glitch, and she of

course knows this, is since my divorce I'm very limited financially, and this is

a very extravagant vacation, and a costly place to come home early from. she

has payed for the whole thing. of course, so we can all be indebted to her

forever!

the travel agent is looking into a guest house on the property--why it wasn't

booked initially I don't know. it's all made even more complicated because one

of my brothers isn't really speaking to me and my Mom and I are barely speaking,

so getting information has been hard.

I know you're all wondering why the hell I would agree to be involved in this

extravagant mess! It's been a very hard couple of years...in the past year and

a half I got divorced, found out my ex-husband had spent all our savings, had to

sell our house, and my youngest went to college. My kids all live in different

cities now, and we rarely are all together. After much thought, I decided that

being able to share this experience with all my kids would be such a healing

time for us and that all the craziness with my Mom and brother, would just have

to take a back seat. The divorce and selling the house has been very hard on

them. and all that plus being an empty-nester has been really challenging for

me.

My Mom had been especially conniving and toxic with me during this time. She

led me to believe that she was actually being supportive only to find out that

it was all being used against me. That's where all the recent conflict has come

from. It's also been a huge turning point for me to see so clearly what her

motives really are and have always been. I really thought that with this new

realization I could deal with her for the sake of my kids.

Thanks Annie for your suggestions-- leaving early, although expensive, maybe

should be an option I keep in the back of my mind. I can't believe I got myself

into this mess!! I should have known better. She really got me this time :-(

> > >

> > > Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to

> > > thank you all. I've only been with this group for a couple of

> > > weeks and I can't believe the shift in my brain. many thanks to

> > > you all.

> > >

> > > here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to

> > > the Galapapos Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers,

> > > wives, nieces and nephews. It starts the day after Christmas.

> > > It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa for all of us), on an

> > > island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

> > > exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped!

> > > Plus the added ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this

> > > is a huge expensive set up...the super, deluxe family, guilt,

> > > shame, look at me, deal with me and fight amongst yourselves, fun

> > > family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and weighing the

> > > options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

> > >

> > > I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that

> > > hiding behind my camera would provide the necessary protection.

> > > but I was still freaking out about it. Yesterday I came up with

> > > a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo documentary of my

> > > family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait for

> > > the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about

> > > when and how the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be

> > > waiting for it!! and instead of being anxious and panicked, I'll

> > > be excited to have it to capture! The plan will be to shoot her

> > > (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my family.

> > > The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

> > > withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter

> > > performing, the shock and awe in response to some of her

> > > comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography assignment has

> > > taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

> > > something useful for others

> > > struggling with BP in their families.

> > >

> > > I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my

> > > excitement?

> > >

> > > ~Debbie

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

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Wow, that really is a conundrum. Only you can figure out whether having all

your kids together with you for this time period is worth the down-side of

possibly also having your nada in your face 24/7. You know your own limits and

tolerances.

Me personally: I went on an overseas trip with my nada to visit Sister when

Sister was stationed in a foreign country, and part of the trip meant actually

sleeping in the same bed with my nada. Nada snored and talked in her sleep,

loudly. So there was a span of about 4 days when even using earplugs I got

virtually no sleep at all, and began to feel that I was going to have a nervous

breakdown and/or go on a murder spree. I'm serious. Sleep deprivation is a

form of torture and it starts to affect your mind.

(On another more recent occasion when I went for only one and one-half nights

without sleeping AT ALL (again, due to cramming too many activities and travel

into too short a time) I began to actively hallucinate.)

The only thing I could think of to help during that overseas trip with nada to

see Sister, was to beg nada and Sister (and Sister's little boy) to spend the

day together shopping or sight-seeing or whatever, and just please let me stay

behind at Sister's and just SLEEP. Getting to sleep alone and really DEEPLY for

practically that whole day, really helped.

So, I wish you luck on getting separate accommodations for yourself, and

arranging time to be alone, or just with your kids, and that you do not find

yourself in proximity to your nada 24/7.

-Annie

> > > >

> > > > Hi everyone-- before I reveal my " great " idea, I just want to

> > > > thank you all. I've only been with this group for a couple of

> > > > weeks and I can't believe the shift in my brain. many thanks to

> > > > you all.

> > > >

> > > > here's the situation... My Mom planned an extravagant trip to

> > > > the Galapapos Islands for 8 days with my entire family--brothers,

> > > > wives, nieces and nephews. It starts the day after Christmas.

> > > > It involves living in a villa (yes, 1 villa for all of us), on an

> > > > island, taking day boat trips each day to another islands,

> > > > exploring, snorkeling...islands, boats, villa-- 1 week, trapped!

> > > > Plus the added ingredient that she payed for it all. I know this

> > > > is a huge expensive set up...the super, deluxe family, guilt,

> > > > shame, look at me, deal with me and fight amongst yourselves, fun

> > > > family vacation. YAY! I've been dreading it and weighing the

> > > > options of going and not going, until I came up with an idea...

> > > >

> > > > I'm a photographer and had planned to shoot a lot, hoping that

> > > > hiding behind my camera would provide the necessary protection.

> > > > but I was still freaking out about it. Yesterday I came up with

> > > > a great idea-- I'm going to do a photo documentary of my

> > > > family!!!! I'll have my camera in hand the whole time-- wait for

> > > > the craziness and capture it. This way I won't be afraid about

> > > > when and how the craziness will come at me and my kids, I'll be

> > > > waiting for it!! and instead of being anxious and panicked, I'll

> > > > be excited to have it to capture! The plan will be to shoot her

> > > > (pardon the pun!!) and also the whole dynamic withing my family.

> > > > The reactions everyone has in response to her. My older brother

> > > > withdrawing, my younger brother competing, my daughter

> > > > performing, the shock and awe in response to some of her

> > > > comments....Seeing the vacation as a photography assignment has

> > > > taken the angst out of it. And maybe I'll come out with

> > > > something useful for others

> > > > struggling with BP in their families.

> > > >

> > > > I'd love to know what people think. what am I overlooking in my

> > > > excitement?

> > > >

> > > > ~Debbie

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

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Hi Debbie, I see the gotcha tentacles have extended and you're feeling like the

prey of a giant squid. Been there myself: my sympathies. I have a great big red

flag waving over here and it looks like this: If Nada lied about the bedrooms,

what else is she lying about?

It seems to me that your instincts have been screaming warnings about this

vacation experience since it was first offered. Sadly, you trusted Nada to give

you all the facts, and now find that careful plans of protection were built on

sand.

A suggestion: Now that the bedrooms have vanished, you might insist on seeing

all the details for yourself, where it's booked, contact the management and GET

THE FACTS before exposing yourself and precious family to a BPD who will have

you all in her clutches for a week. Like you, my instincts would be screaming

that this is unsafe. It's not too late to get the real skinny on where the heck

she is taking you, where you are staying and BACK OUT if necessary. It really

sounds like this trip is violating your personal boundaries of safety with Nada,

and in my bitter-won past experience, safe rather than sorry is always the best

choice around a BPD.

AFB

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AFB,

you are so right. tentacles of a giant squid is such the perfect image of how I

feel right now. trapped is my least favorite feeling.

I just emailed the travel agent, who is getting annoyed at having to deal with

my mother AND me about the same trip, but whatever. She's probably wondering

why we aren't just talking to each other. I have inquired about the guest house

and how many bedrooms it has and for them to let ME know if it's available. I

also suggested finding a local hotel that could accommodate the overflow. I know

this will piss of my Mom and her travel agent, but at this point I don't care.

You and Annie have validated my absolute need for my own private space during

this week. thank you!

I guess I'll know when I've really got a handle on my Mom when I stop saying " I

can't believe she did....!! " that said, I can't believe she and especially her

travel agent would book a 5 bedroom place for 12 people!! and NOW, 5 day before

leaving, have to scramble to find beds somewhere. it's so outrageous... but I

need to tell myself, typical, right? I'm obviously not there yet.

thanks so much for your validating words and not writing me and my dilemma off

as " what was she thinking " ! she got herself into this... the old mantra that I

created this drama in my own head and how generous she is to have planned this

incredible trip for us all. that I'm being unnecessarily hysterical and overly

dramatic--how shameful and selfish for me to be thinking only about

myself...that is what my brothers would say if I could talk to them about how I

feel. and that is what I keep saying to myself... uugh-- so frustrating to be

back in this head space again!

~D

>

> Hi Debbie, I see the gotcha tentacles have extended and you're feeling like

the prey of a giant squid. Been there myself: my sympathies. I have a great big

red flag waving over here and it looks like this: If Nada lied about the

bedrooms, what else is she lying about?

>

> It seems to me that your instincts have been screaming warnings about this

vacation experience since it was first offered. Sadly, you trusted Nada to give

you all the facts, and now find that careful plans of protection were built on

sand.

>

> A suggestion: Now that the bedrooms have vanished, you might insist on seeing

all the details for yourself, where it's booked, contact the management and GET

THE FACTS before exposing yourself and precious family to a BPD who will have

you all in her clutches for a week. Like you, my instincts would be screaming

that this is unsafe. It's not too late to get the real skinny on where the heck

she is taking you, where you are staying and BACK OUT if necessary. It really

sounds like this trip is violating your personal boundaries of safety with Nada,

and in my bitter-won past experience, safe rather than sorry is always the best

choice around a BPD.

> AFB

>

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Hey Debbie you are so welcome, and it's so appropriate that you ended off your

response with your " usual old " response of guilt and thinking of Nada's

" kindness " because there lies the problem for us all. Nada and fada trained us

from birth to think of their needs and their " kindnesses " and salted it with a

strong overdose of guilt to make sure it stayed fixed.

My freedom from FOO began the day I stopped thinking about Nada first and got in

a headspace of " investigative detective " protecting me and mine. What that meant

was, like a good investigator, I walked around any and every " offer " from nada

and fada--inquiring, asking questions, demanding PROOF of stated claims and

checking the facts. I didn't come on strong until i had to, but when I had to I

didn't let up until I had the facts in the bright light of day.

In your case, rental properties usually come with online photographs, even

visual tours of the place, and they show the accommodations. Asking for that

immediately from nada under the ruse of being eager to see the vacation, could

have revealed the facts much sooner--even before agreeing to this trip. Being

interested to see details of her " gift " isn't an insult, nada could take it as

your interest in her. If you had received a slick response of why there were no

pictures, that's immediately a red flag indicating stronger investigation is

necessary. Asking questions and investigating up front means the truth is

revealed much quicker, mitigating longterm damage OR that a bigger lie response

is necessary from nada. A bigger lie or some ultra-breezy blow-off is easier to

spot, and is your signal to initiate in-depth investigation right away.

PDs depend upon our not asking questions, swallowing untruths and half-truths

and allowing a smokescreen of obscurity to remain. When I no longer allowed

this, nada and fada's power was severely compromised. Oh they hated it. They

tried to sidestep at every turn, but you have the added insurance of children

and a husband which means that they are probably asking questions of you. They

" just want to know " and there can be a million reasons why they " just want to

know. " Throw them at Nada and exhaust her with her own tapdancing. She'll crack

with a clue somewhere, and your investigation is off and running.

Remember the old saying, " The truth shall set you free? " It's still around

because it works.

Go get 'em, Sherlock. Or as Joe Friday on Dragnet said, " Just the facts, Ma'am. "

(Even though Snopes says the quote was a little different.) See? I checked.

AFB

> >

> > Hi Debbie, I see the gotcha tentacles have extended and you're feeling like

the prey of a giant squid. Been there myself: my sympathies. I have a great big

red flag waving over here and it looks like this: If Nada lied about the

bedrooms, what else is she lying about?

> >

> > It seems to me that your instincts have been screaming warnings about this

vacation experience since it was first offered. Sadly, you trusted Nada to give

you all the facts, and now find that careful plans of protection were built on

sand.

> >

> > A suggestion: Now that the bedrooms have vanished, you might insist on

seeing all the details for yourself, where it's booked, contact the management

and GET THE FACTS before exposing yourself and precious family to a BPD who will

have you all in her clutches for a week. Like you, my instincts would be

screaming that this is unsafe. It's not too late to get the real skinny on where

the heck she is taking you, where you are staying and BACK OUT if necessary. It

really sounds like this trip is violating your personal boundaries of safety

with Nada, and in my bitter-won past experience, safe rather than sorry is

always the best choice around a BPD.

> > AFB

> >

>

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