In the event sanity masks drop down, tend to your own needs first

[Guest guest]

It s been said before, but is worth repeating. Lots of posts about, Can

they get better? Is this normal? Why do they do this. ect.

While these are normal burning questions, it is important to remember

that we will never have any control over the BP in our lives. Our

paramount concern is our own safety and sanity, followed by that of our

children and spouses.

We can, and do, hope that our BP parent will have an epiphany and

change, or seek help, or do the hard work to heal. We wish with all

our being at times for just a day of a normal mom.

Mostly we do so in vain. We cannot make them change. We cannot make

them want change. We cannot make them see the problem.

We can, with some guilt and reluctance, climb in the life raft and say

Mom, you can t come in here with me as long as you hold on to that

shark.

We cannot pull them up to sanity. They can pull us down to madness.

They will, if we permit it.

One of the hardest things to do , for us KO s, is to decide we must put

our own healing and sanity first, before anything else. But as long as

we are in the grip of the Witches Castle, or the flying monkeys, we are

always at risk to be locked in the room with the magic hourglass, and

our little dog, too. We are going to leave that damned castle. If mop

water is an issue for you, get out of our way. If you are a monkey or a

guard, you can either block us, help us, or shout Hail Dorothy!

So, KO Kiddies, lets agree to click our ruby slippers together and say,

there s no place like home!

Now go heal!

Doug

[Guest guest]

amen to this. it was pretty striking that someone quoted randy krieger saying it

took about 3 years of dedicated therapy to make significatn changes in a bpd.

that is very daunting. I can see why, because they are so adaptable to appealing

to the image they feel is the one they need to reflect.

while being worried about my nephews I have had several people preach to me to

'pray' and talk about how 'god can work miracles' etc etc, presumably as a

substitute for reporting it to social services...which I find very grating. but

my family does deal with stuff on a religious level, and only a religious level.

it's funny none of hte pd people in my family have EVER been to therapy. not

surprisingly, everyone else has, though.

>

>

> It s been said before, but is worth repeating. Lots of posts about, Can

> they get better? Is this normal? Why do they do this. ect.

>

> While these are normal burning questions, it is important to remember

> that we will never have any control over the BP in our lives. Our

> paramount concern is our own safety and sanity, followed by that of our

> children and spouses.

>

> We can, and do, hope that our BP parent will have an epiphany and

> change, or seek help, or do the hard work to heal. We wish with all

> our being at times for just a day of a normal mom.

>

> Mostly we do so in vain. We cannot make them change. We cannot make

> them want change. We cannot make them see the problem.

>

> We can, with some guilt and reluctance, climb in the life raft and say

> Mom, you can t come in here with me as long as you hold on to that

> shark.

>

> We cannot pull them up to sanity. They can pull us down to madness.

> They will, if we permit it.

>

> One of the hardest things to do , for us KO s, is to decide we must put

> our own healing and sanity first, before anything else. But as long as

> we are in the grip of the Witches Castle, or the flying monkeys, we are

> always at risk to be locked in the room with the magic hourglass, and

> our little dog, too. We are going to leave that damned castle. If mop

> water is an issue for you, get out of our way. If you are a monkey or a

> guard, you can either block us, help us, or shout Hail Dorothy!

>

> So, KO Kiddies, lets agree to click our ruby slippers together and say,

> there s no place like home!

>

> Now go heal!

>

> Doug

>

[Guest guest]

thanks, Doug.

I'm saving this.

>

>

> It s been said before, but is worth repeating. Lots of posts about, Can

> they get better? Is this normal? Why do they do this. ect.

>

> While these are normal burning questions, it is important to remember

> that we will never have any control over the BP in our lives. Our

> paramount concern is our own safety and sanity, followed by that of our

> children and spouses.

>

> We can, and do, hope that our BP parent will have an epiphany and

> change, or seek help, or do the hard work to heal. We wish with all

> our being at times for just a day of a normal mom.

>

> Mostly we do so in vain. We cannot make them change. We cannot make

> them want change. We cannot make them see the problem.

>

> We can, with some guilt and reluctance, climb in the life raft and say

> Mom, you can t come in here with me as long as you hold on to that

> shark.

>

> We cannot pull them up to sanity. They can pull us down to madness.

> They will, if we permit it.

>

> One of the hardest things to do , for us KO s, is to decide we must put

> our own healing and sanity first, before anything else. But as long as

> we are in the grip of the Witches Castle, or the flying monkeys, we are

> always at risk to be locked in the room with the magic hourglass, and

> our little dog, too. We are going to leave that damned castle. If mop

> water is an issue for you, get out of our way. If you are a monkey or a

> guard, you can either block us, help us, or shout Hail Dorothy!

>

> So, KO Kiddies, lets agree to click our ruby slippers together and say,

> there s no place like home!

>

> Now go heal!

>

> Doug

>

[Guest guest]

Amazing post! Thank you so much for that, I'm going to save it too.

>

>

> It s been said before, but is worth repeating. Lots of posts about, Can

> they get better? Is this normal? Why do they do this. ect.

>

> While these are normal burning questions, it is important to remember

> that we will never have any control over the BP in our lives. Our

> paramount concern is our own safety and sanity, followed by that of our

> children and spouses.

>

> We can, and do, hope that our BP parent will have an epiphany and

> change, or seek help, or do the hard work to heal. We wish with all

> our being at times for just a day of a normal mom.

>

> Mostly we do so in vain. We cannot make them change. We cannot make

> them want change. We cannot make them see the problem.

>

> We can, with some guilt and reluctance, climb in the life raft and say

> Mom, you can t come in here with me as long as you hold on to that

> shark.

>

> We cannot pull them up to sanity. They can pull us down to madness.

> They will, if we permit it.

>

> One of the hardest things to do , for us KO s, is to decide we must put

> our own healing and sanity first, before anything else. But as long as

> we are in the grip of the Witches Castle, or the flying monkeys, we are

> always at risk to be locked in the room with the magic hourglass, and

> our little dog, too. We are going to leave that damned castle. If mop

> water is an issue for you, get out of our way. If you are a monkey or a

> guard, you can either block us, help us, or shout Hail Dorothy!

>

> So, KO Kiddies, lets agree to click our ruby slippers together and say,

> there s no place like home!

>

> Now go heal!

>

> Doug

>

[Guest guest]

I don't expect my nada to ever be normal. But reading your post makes me want to

cry. You are so right when you say - We cannot pull them up to sanity. They can

pull us down to madness. They will, if we permit it.

I feel like I'm teetering on the edge sometimes. It just plain hurts. I thought

I had things under control (my feelings) and things have been going well with

her. But someone has oiled the rope and I'm slipping into the pit again. As they

say: get a grip. Time to fight back again.

> >

> >

> > It s been said before, but is worth repeating. Lots of posts about, Can

> > they get better? Is this normal? Why do they do this. ect.

> >

> > While these are normal burning questions, it is important to remember

> > that we will never have any control over the BP in our lives. Our

> > paramount concern is our own safety and sanity, followed by that of our

> > children and spouses.

> >

> > We can, and do, hope that our BP parent will have an epiphany and

> > change, or seek help, or do the hard work to heal. We wish with all

> > our being at times for just a day of a normal mom.

> >

> > Mostly we do so in vain. We cannot make them change. We cannot make

> > them want change. We cannot make them see the problem.

> >

> > We can, with some guilt and reluctance, climb in the life raft and say

> > Mom, you can t come in here with me as long as you hold on to that

> > shark.

> >

> > We cannot pull them up to sanity. They can pull us down to madness.

> > They will, if we permit it.

> >

> > One of the hardest things to do , for us KO s, is to decide we must put

> > our own healing and sanity first, before anything else. But as long as

> > we are in the grip of the Witches Castle, or the flying monkeys, we are

> > always at risk to be locked in the room with the magic hourglass, and

> > our little dog, too. We are going to leave that damned castle. If mop

> > water is an issue for you, get out of our way. If you are a monkey or a

> > guard, you can either block us, help us, or shout Hail Dorothy!

> >

> > So, KO Kiddies, lets agree to click our ruby slippers together and say,

> > there s no place like home!

> >

> > Now go heal!

> >

> > Doug

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Dougie - - - miss you!!!!

> **

>

>

> I don't expect my nada to ever be normal. But reading your post makes me

> want to cry. You are so right when you say - We cannot pull them up to

> sanity. They can pull us down to madness. They will, if we permit it.

>

> I feel like I'm teetering on the edge sometimes. It just plain hurts. I

> thought I had things under control (my feelings) and things have been going

> well with her. But someone has oiled the rope and I'm slipping into the pit

> again. As they say: get a grip. Time to fight back again.

>

> ie

>

> > >

> > >

> > > It s been said before, but is worth repeating. Lots of posts about, Can

> > > they get better? Is this normal? Why do they do this. ect.

> > >

> > > While these are normal burning questions, it is important to remember

> > > that we will never have any control over the BP in our lives. Our

> > > paramount concern is our own safety and sanity, followed by that of our

> > > children and spouses.

> > >

> > > We can, and do, hope that our BP parent will have an epiphany and

> > > change, or seek help, or do the hard work to heal. We wish with all

> > > our being at times for just a day of a normal mom.

> > >

> > > Mostly we do so in vain. We cannot make them change. We cannot make

> > > them want change. We cannot make them see the problem.

> > >

> > > We can, with some guilt and reluctance, climb in the life raft and say

> > > Mom, you can t come in here with me as long as you hold on to that

> > > shark.

> > >

> > > We cannot pull them up to sanity. They can pull us down to madness.

> > > They will, if we permit it.

> > >

> > > One of the hardest things to do , for us KO s, is to decide we must put

> > > our own healing and sanity first, before anything else. But as long as

> > > we are in the grip of the Witches Castle, or the flying monkeys, we are

> > > always at risk to be locked in the room with the magic hourglass, and

> > > our little dog, too. We are going to leave that damned castle. If mop

> > > water is an issue for you, get out of our way. If you are a monkey or a

> > > guard, you can either block us, help us, or shout Hail Dorothy!

> > >

> > > So, KO Kiddies, lets agree to click our ruby slippers together and say,

> > > there s no place like home!

> > >

> > > Now go heal!

> > >

> > > Doug

> > >

> >

>

>

>