Guest guest Posted November 30, 2011 Report Share Posted November 30, 2011 It has hit me. I think my 7 yo has some of the same traits as my nada. She lies, steals, every thing she does wrong she tries to blame me or dh. It's like watching nada all over again in child form. Is this possible? Steph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2011 Report Share Posted November 30, 2011 Steph, BPD seems to have a genetic component, so it is entirely possible that your daughter could have it. That being said, I think the behavior you're describing is common at her age. Kids commonly test their parents to see what they can get away with and what kind of reaction they get. You're likely to be a lot more sensitive to some types of misbehavior than the average mother who didn't have to deal with a nada. If she's seeking attention, you may be reinforcing the bad behavior by reacting strongly. People with BPD act a lot like their emotional development has stopped at a relatively early age. It is inappropriate when an adult acts like a 7-year-old, but a 7 year-old acting like a 7-year-old is okay. I would concentrate on reacting appropriately when she misbehaves and not get too worried about her having BPD at this point. If the misbehavior continues as she gets older, that might be reason to worry and to have her evaluated for problems, but don't panic yet. At 06:09 PM 11/30/2011 wrote: >It has hit me. I think my 7 yo has some of the same traits as >my >nada. She lies, steals, every thing she does wrong she tries >to >blame me or dh. It's like watching nada all over again in >child >form. Is this possible? >Steph -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2011 Report Share Posted November 30, 2011 My 7 almost 8 year old does the same thing and my SO pointed out that he's often imiadating nada (changing the rules, nothing is ever his fault) so I've started really being clear about consequences and at least with my son its working. Almost broke my heart a couple of times, but its for the best. Stay strong ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 6:49 PM Subject: Re: o my goodness!  Steph, BPD seems to have a genetic component, so it is entirely possible that your daughter could have it. That being said, I think the behavior you're describing is common at her age. Kids commonly test their parents to see what they can get away with and what kind of reaction they get. You're likely to be a lot more sensitive to some types of misbehavior than the average mother who didn't have to deal with a nada. If she's seeking attention, you may be reinforcing the bad behavior by reacting strongly. People with BPD act a lot like their emotional development has stopped at a relatively early age. It is inappropriate when an adult acts like a 7-year-old, but a 7 year-old acting like a 7-year-old is okay. I would concentrate on reacting appropriately when she misbehaves and not get too worried about her having BPD at this point. If the misbehavior continues as she gets older, that might be reason to worry and to have her evaluated for problems, but don't panic yet. At 06:09 PM 11/30/2011 wrote: >It has hit me. I think my 7 yo has some of the same traits as >my >nada. She lies, steals, every thing she does wrong she tries >to >blame me or dh. It's like watching nada all over again in >child >form. Is this possible? >Steph -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2011 Report Share Posted November 30, 2011 I think your nada probably acts like a seven year old!!!!!! > ** > > > My 7 almost 8 year old does the same thing and my SO pointed out that he's > often imiadating nada (changing the rules, nothing is ever his fault) so > I've started really being clear about consequences and at least with my son > its working. Almost broke my heart a couple of times, but its for the best. > Stay strong > > ________________________________ > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Sent: Wednesday, November 30, 2011 6:49 PM > Subject: Re: o my goodness! > > > > Steph, > BPD seems to have a genetic component, so it is entirely > possible that your daughter could have it. That being said, I > think the behavior you're describing is common at her age. Kids > commonly test their parents to see what they can get away with > and what kind of reaction they get. You're likely to be a lot > more sensitive to some types of misbehavior than the average > mother who didn't have to deal with a nada. If she's seeking > attention, you may be reinforcing the bad behavior by reacting > strongly. People with BPD act a lot like their emotional > development has stopped at a relatively early age. It is > inappropriate when an adult acts like a 7-year-old, but a 7 > year-old acting like a 7-year-old is okay. I would concentrate > on reacting appropriately when she misbehaves and not get too > worried about her having BPD at this point. If the misbehavior > continues as she gets older, that might be reason to worry and > to have her evaluated for problems, but don't panic yet. > > At 06:09 PM 11/30/2011 wrote: > >It has hit me. I think my 7 yo has some of the same traits as > >my > >nada. She lies, steals, every thing she does wrong she tries > >to > >blame me or dh. It's like watching nada all over again in > >child > >form. Is this possible? > >Steph > > -- > Katrina > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2011 Report Share Posted November 30, 2011 Thanks. I'm not going to do anything yet. It just really frustrates me when she's so much like nada it's scary. Steph Re: o my goodness! Steph, BPD seems to have a genetic component, so it is entirely possible that your daughter could have it. That being said, I think the behavior you're describing is common at her age. Kids commonly test their parents to see what they can get away with and what kind of reaction they get. You're likely to be a lot more sensitive to some types of misbehavior than the average mother who didn't have to deal with a nada. If she's seeking attention, you may be reinforcing the bad behavior by reacting strongly. People with BPD act a lot like their emotional development has stopped at a relatively early age. It is inappropriate when an adult acts like a 7-year-old, but a 7 year-old acting like a 7-year-old is okay. I would concentrate on reacting appropriately when she misbehaves and not get too worried about her having BPD at this point. If the misbehavior continues as she gets older, that might be reason to worry and to have her evaluated for problems, but don't panic yet. At 06:09 PM 11/30/2011 wrote: It has hit me. I think my 7 yo has some of the same traits as my nada. She lies, steals, every thing she does wrong she tries to blame me or dh. It's like watching nada all over again in child form. Is this possible? Steph -- Katrina ------------------------------------ **This group is based on principles in Randi Kreger's new book The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder: New Tips and Tools to Stop Walking on Eggshells, available at www.BPDCentral.com.** Problems? Write @.... DO NOT RESPOND ON THE LIST. To unsub from this list, send a blank email to WTOAdultChildren1-unsubscribe . Recommended: " Toxic Parents, " " Surviving a Borderline Parent, " and " Understanding the Borderline Mother " (hard to find)Yahoo! Groups Links Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2011 Report Share Posted November 30, 2011 Steph, Perhaps it would help if you look at it as your nada acting like a child rather than as your daughter acting like your nada? At 10:04 PM 11/30/2011 wrote: >Thanks. I'm not going to do anything yet. It just really >frustrates me when she's so much like nada it's scary. >Steph -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2011 Report Share Posted November 30, 2011 I agree with the others. that sounds like a 7 year old to me too. my daughter does those things too, but she is slowly growing out of it. childish behavior is an earmark of BPD according to what I have read. having been labeled with hideous things by my nada taught me that I should approach discipline with my kids by punishing each individual act. having expectations is not fair. you should resist the temptation to split. we were taught to do it, but we should fight it. > > It has hit me. I think my 7 yo has some of the same traits as my > nada. She lies, steals, every thing she does wrong she tries to > blame me or dh. It's like watching nada all over again in child > form. Is this possible? > Steph > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 30, 2011 Report Share Posted November 30, 2011 Yes, it is . . . because your daughter is a child! But that is just what she's supposed to be. You nada is not supposed to act like a child. Now you know the parts you need to work on with your daughter, and I'm sure you will do a good job teaching accountability and responsibility as a good parent does. > > It has hit me. I think my 7 yo has some of the same traits as my > nada. She lies, steals, every thing she does wrong she tries to > blame me or dh. It's like watching nada all over again in child > form. Is this possible? > Steph > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 Here's my thought: my mother acts like a 3 year old ALL the time, but does that mean that a 3 year old is borderline? No, they're acting appropriately for their age. I have a 7 yo, too. Many of their behaviors are kid behaviors: manipulating to get their way, lying to avoid getting into trouble, etc. I correct her, her father corrects her, and we tell her what we expect. If it continues, there are consequences. Of course, as parents, we have to keep our eyes peeled for any persistent pattern behaviors that concern us: depression, anxiety (that's a biggie for my 7 yo). Maybe you could see a family therapist with your daughter? > > It has hit me. I think my 7 yo has some of the same traits as my > nada. She lies, steals, every thing she does wrong she tries to > blame me or dh. It's like watching nada all over again in child > form. Is this possible? > Steph > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 1, 2011 Report Share Posted December 1, 2011 I have to chime in here and say that I agree with Fiona. I also have an almost 7 year old, and she does the exact same things you mentioned in your post. It IS normal kid behavior, but NOT normal for an adult who should know better. I feel that as a parent, it's my job to correct my child when I see her displaying these behaviors. Hopefully, over time that correction will sink in and she will begin to realize on her own what is and is not acceptable behavior. We are teaching her now that for every action there is a consequence. Good behavior yields pleasant consequences, while inappropriate or unacceptable behavior yields UN-pleasant consequences. Unfortunately, for my nada she was either spoiled rotten and allowed to get her way as a child, or she never grasped the concept of personal responsibility and consequences. Either way, what you get is a 64 year old who still acts out like a child. How do I deal with that? The same way I deal with my daughter. By setting boundaries and enforcing them. If she respects my boundaries, the consequences will be pleasant. If she doesn't respect them, she probably will not like the consequences. It's her choice. Sad thing is, my daughter (for the most part) gets it. My 64 year old nada STILL doesn't and maybe never will. The only difference is that I never stop trying with my daughter. Nada, I'm afraid, is a lost cause. > > > > It has hit me. I think my 7 yo has some of the same traits as my > > nada. She lies, steals, every thing she does wrong she tries to > > blame me or dh. It's like watching nada all over again in child > > form. Is this possible? > > Steph > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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