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something I realized

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Nadas are the Queens of extreme! Whatever they do, they do it with

jaw-dropping theater and heroic passion. Whether waif, witch or queen, or

any permutation thereof, their extreme behaviors send most KOs into

abreactive behavior. My Nada was so invasively " friendly " (she was just

trolling for flying monkeys, or for " suckers " ) that I became extremely

distant, and seemingly unfriendly. I'm not really, I just have trust

issues. Nadas throw us off balance. They make us unsure of ourselves, and

others. We don't have to stay that way, but it is hard as heck to discover

who we are, and who we want to be. When they describe us as " imaginative, "

it was short hand for " little liar " " sensitive " = " mentally unstable " and

so on. Take some time to translate your own Nada speak, what was she really

saying about you? Did you believe it? Do you still? Do you want to?

What made things confusing for me, was that her lies contained grains of

truth. Yes, I could be defined as creative, but without the

nudge-nudge-wink-wink, eye roll and nasty lilt to the voice. Yes, I was

sensitive, I had to be, in order to read her moods and not get hurt, and so

on. I think most KOs learn to reinterpret Nadas double talk.

They are inexorably cruel, sometimes criminal, and always self-serving.

They are our Nadas. Damn!

You get to choose now, who you can and will be. She doesn't get to define

you anymore, you do. Sounds simple, but most of us here have really

struggled with the process. Like any art, the " art of becoming " takes a lot

of practice.

Best Regards, Sunspot

On Thu, Dec 8, 2011 at 11:05 PM,

wrote:

> **

>

>

> The reason I hate standing up for myself and perhaps being

> asertive? Because nada was like this, but to such an extremely

> for put people off. So i can't do it.

> Steph

>

>

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