How many of you rejected your parents in your infancy?

[Guest guest]

One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in, mentioned

that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says the same

thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as your

mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

[Guest guest]

i don't know about infancy, but my nada always said i wanted someone else to

be my mother when i was in grade school. She literally said it about every

other kid's mother i ever met. if i went to another kid's house to play,

when i got home she would say " Oh, I guess you want to be your mother

now instead of me. " she has always been jealous like that. crazy.

> **

>

>

> One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

> mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother

> says the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER

> accepted me as your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of

> teeth. Every time I refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is

> code for, " You never let me completely control you! You never took my abuse

> with a smile and asked for more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common

> accusation. (I am not saying who the other person is bc if they want to

> share it with this group, it's theirs to share, not mine on their behalf.

> )

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My stepmother always trying to find a way that I was saying that she wasn't my

mother. I always tried to please her and try to tell her that I thought of her

as my mother, but it didn't matter what I did or said. It took me until last

year to really realize that she's not my mother, she's my stepmother. My

adoptive mother, who raised me,  died 21 years ago today, and my biological

mother has been in my life for 11. I can now say without feeling bad or guilty

that my stepmother is my stepmother, not my mom.Â

Janet

 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own

understanding.

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Friday, June 24, 2011 7:56 PM

Subject: How many of you " rejected " your parents in your

infancy?

Â

One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in, mentioned

that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says the same

thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as your

mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

[Guest guest]

That might be me! I posted on that topic at the ACON group recently (Adult

Children of Narcissistic PD parents.) Thanks, that was thoughtful of you to let

me do my own sharing.

My nada actually shared with me a good while ago now, as though it was no big

deal, that she " gave up " on having a normal, loving mother/daughter relationship

with me by the time I was three years old, because in her mind I rejected her

and hated her as a baby. She said that's why she was so thrilled to discover

that she was pregnant again, it would give her " a second chance to be loved. "

That casual revelation was a jaw-dropper for me, and suddenly made many

Buick-sized puzzle-pieces fall into place. So, I was written off as a bad

investment by age 3. No wonder I felt replaced by my baby Sister; I was!

My best guess is that my nada was ambivalent about becoming a mother in the

first place; she'd had no previous interest in children and had never even

babysat before she had me. I was planned and expected (in my nada's generation

one got married and one had children; not to do so was considered a tragedy) but

I was apparently not the perfect fantasy baby she had envisioned for herself. I

had a hidden medical condition that required an emergency operation at about 1

year, then a second follow-up operation before age 3.

I feel pretty confident in guessing that my borderline pd/npd mom was NOT

emotionally prepared to care for a sickly, crying baby/toddler that was in pain

and difficult to soothe. She interpreted my pain and later my normal separation

and individuation as a toddler as me hating and rejecting her. She also

referred to me as a " screaming, demanding " baby and compared me unfavorably with

my younger Sister, the " good " , quiet, sweet baby.

So, apparently, she felt justified/entitled to hate and reject me back.

Like I've said before, I think my nada and other women who have similarly

skewed, cognitively-distorted, personality-disordered, ambivalent or even

resentful feelings about motherhood need to be screened for this. My nada

should NOT have been left with two small kids to raise virtually alone; dad was

with us but was a workaholic and very hands-off in the child-rearing department.

He only rarely, VERY rarely, confronted nada about any decision she made RE us

kids. Plus, she never went totally ape-shit ballistic on Sister or me when dad

was home; she'd save that " treat " for us until we were alone with her.

It was like dad was her braking system or her conscience; she wouldn't totally

just drop all her inhibitions against rage and violence if he was there. On

some level she must have realized that she'd " get in trouble " if he saw her

physically assaulting us in one of her terrifying, volcanic, red-faced,

spittle-flying, pupil-dilated, screaming rage-tantrums. She never " lost it " in

public, either. As a young mother, she was able to save it all up to unleash in

the privacy of our own home.

So, anyway, yes, I was the bad baby who hated and rejected my mother, so I

deserved whatever punishment or rejection she felt like dishing out to me.

-Annie

>

> One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says

the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as

your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

>

[Guest guest]

Count me in. I had bad colic as a baby and I think she just couldn't handle it.

She said I never wanted to be held and cuddled and I would just wiggles and

squirm if she tried. I never remember feeling loved and safe with her - ever.

Eliza

>

> One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says

the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as

your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

>

[Guest guest]

Well, no, I didn't reject her, but she pretty much rejected me at birth: " I

wanted you to be a boy. I was so disappointed! " She said this most recently this

past Thanksgiving at the dinner table (I've been LC for many, many years). For

some reason, I just let her have it: " Mom, I'm nearly 60 years old, and I'm

tired for hearing that. You have a right to your feelings and opinions, but

please keep that one to yourself from now on. "

There was silence in the room for about 10 seconds, then my brother asked to

have the peas passed, and dinner went on without anymore drama. Amazing. Simply

amazing.

[Guest guest]

My mother could not stand the idea she might be rejected. At first sign of

fussing or disagreement, she rejects them. I have seen her do this with my

nephew and later on with my kids and any baby she is left in charge of.

She apparently doesn't have the capacity to take a fussing baby in stride, and

instead takes it as a personal rejection, something that is 'being done' to her

by the uncomfortable baby. No matter how miserable the baby is, nada is sure SHE

is the one truly uncomfortable.

And yes, she doesn't let loose with an audience--she tries to keep her abuse

only witnessed by the victim. She never completely lost it in front of dad. Came

close a few times, enough to shock him into intervening. It frosted her butt

when my kids would come home from her house and tell on her--she was worried

enough about me going NC that those incidents were few.

On the other hand, when she is feeling good with the baby you can almost see her

trying to suck the life out of them :-(

>

>

> >

> > One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says

the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as

your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, that's interesting.

I remember from very young not liking my mother, not being drawn to her.

She would say that I had to do things my way.

Yes, that's it: we have to take it and enjoy it or we're not good daughters.

>

> One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says

the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as

your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

>

[Guest guest]

Annie, that's so sad...that your mother felt that way AND that she shared it

with you.

But in a way, it was good; it seems to have made sense of so much else.

> >

> > One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says

the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as

your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I too supposedly " rejected " my mother when I was a baby. Apparently I didn't

like her to hold me or cuddle me. Well, if she held me or cuddled me the way

I remember from when I was old enough to form memories and up until the last

time I saw her, she did so in such a grasping, yes, devouring way that even

a baby would probably hate it and try to get away. My mother often talked

about how distant and unloving (i.e. " uncuddly " ) I was, and often got angry

because I didn't want to constantly hug and kiss her, or would pull away

from her vampiric hugs and kisses, and she'd get REALLY pissed when I'd

cuddle happily with my father.

When I became a teenager, her alcoholism and drug use escalated, and she'd

still try to grab me and hug me and kiss me, and it wasn't just kissing me

on the cheek - it was kissing me like ALL OVER - EWWWWWWW! Now, teenagers

are in the stage of pulling away from their parents anyway, but she didn't

care about that. I'm sure she KNEW about it, being a big reader of

psychology textbooks, but she just didn't care. Plus, being a teenager and a

bit more daring with my vocabulary, I'd let out a " Damn, " or " Shit " along

with the " Stop it, " " Let me go, " or " Leave me alone, " and this would put her

into a hysterical, screaming, violent, curse-word-laden rage that would go

on and on and on. The police were called to our house quite a few times when

this happened.

Actually I wasn't a particularly physically affectionate person in general -

I'm still not exactly touchy-feely. Darn it all, this is a character trait,

not something to rage at someone over, let alone beat someone over.

However, when I was 10, my mother and I went to visit cousins in San

Francisco - her first cousin, Celia, and her first cousin's daughters, who

were 13 and 16. I'd never met them before, and I loved them at first sight.

They were all laid-back, kind, touchy-feely people, and I cuddled with them

and hugged them with no problem at all, which drove my mother crazy. Their

hugs and cuddles were warm and non-threatening. I wished we'd never have to

leave, but of course, after a week, we went home. I'd burst into tears again

and again because I missed them so much, and my mother couldn't stand it,

and would say horrible things about them to me. And guess what happened? My

mother, who before this trip had thought the sun rose and set on Celia,

broke off all contact with Celia and her daughters, and badmouthed them for

the rest of her life, and would tell me what an idiot I was for caring about

them. And they had done NOTHING during our visit to warrant this hatred,

except for providing an environment where it was comfortable for me to show

physical affection.

> **

>

>

> Annie, that's so sad...that your mother felt that way AND that she shared

> it with you.

> But in a way, it was good; it seems to have made sense of so much else.

>

>

>

> > >

> > > One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

> mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother

> says the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER

> accepted me as your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of

> teeth. Every time I refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is

> code for, " You never let me completely control you! You never took my abuse

> with a smile and asked for more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common

> accusation. (I am not saying who the other person is bc if they want to

> share it with this group, it's theirs to share, not mine on their behalf.

> )

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the responses. It is sonsad to me that others have has their

lovethrown back in their face in such a cruel, blame-shifting way, but it does

make me feel " better. " And I agree that that in some way provides them an excuse

for thei mr hateful feelings and treatment toward their own children. I had

never thought about it that way before.

I can't remember my mother saying that I wished someone else was my mother, but

she was very jealous of one aunt in particular. Maybe that was her way of

acknowledging, at least on some level be it grossly inadequate, that she was not

winning any mother if the year awards.

There is usually some incident whenever my mom visits that boils down to " You

never accepted me as your mother! " - something MAJOR, you know, like the way I

prepare asparagus for grilling and I always just try to talk her down from that

ledge. But this time I think I'll just say, " If you want to feel rejected over

asparagus, that's your choice. " Or maybe, " If acceptance means allowing you to

control me and putting up with your bullshit, then no, I have never accepted you

as my mother. " Then I can put her ass back on the plane and be done with her.

You know, I find myself wishing shed lose it on her upcoming visit just so I

could go NC guilt-free and not have to deal with her anymore. I don't want it to

happen in front of my son, but the just worrying about it part is excruciating.

I've set it up so she's only here three days, has her own separate space and

will try to avoid known triggers (asparagus is not on the menu), but I am just

dreading it and wishing it wasn't going to happen. But nothing has happened on

her last two very brief visits and I feel like I need a new reason.

> >

> > One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says

the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as

your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Lol! My mom says the same thing too plus she also says that i was the reason she

had to get a c section and that i destroyed her amazing body and that was the

reason my dad started cheating on her. I dont remember her ever been nice or

sweet. I thank the heavens for my nanny chacha who cared for me when little and

i hate that my mom convinced me to not like her back.

>

> One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says

the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as

your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

>

[Guest guest]

Grats on standing up for yourself! I finally grew the courage to tell my mom

off. When she goes: i dont know what happened to you. You used to sign, dance

and perform so good. You should have gone into showbiz like your cousin and

look how great her life is and you are just married when you could have married

a rich guy " . I used to stay quiet and now i tell her: " yeah, you are right! I

could have been a good actress but you how could i? You never supported me and

all you did was crushing all my opportunities "

>

> Well, no, I didn't reject her, but she pretty much rejected me at birth: " I

wanted you to be a boy. I was so disappointed! " She said this most recently this

past Thanksgiving at the dinner table (I've been LC for many, many years). For

some reason, I just let her have it: " Mom, I'm nearly 60 years old, and I'm

tired for hearing that. You have a right to your feelings and opinions, but

please keep that one to yourself from now on. "

>

> There was silence in the room for about 10 seconds, then my brother asked to

have the peas passed, and dinner went on without anymore drama. Amazing. Simply

amazing.

>

[Guest guest]

Ohh, I thought was just experience - thanks for the thread! So sad to hear these

stories, but such a relief not to be alone.

Nada and my father were only together for a few months and separated before she

discovered she was pregnant. Through out my childhood I could not do a thing

without being accused of rejecting her for my father. Which of course became a

self fulfilling prophecy - I adored being with my dad and hated being with her.

Until I was eventually brain washed in to believing he was the fount of all evil

(he is, for all intents and purposes, one of the least reliable people on earth,

but he is not the cruel and sadistic man she made him out to be). She (well,

before I went NC), would still comment on what a horrible and/or difficult

toddler/child I was on a regular basis. And the basis of all her rage at me

today is still around me rejecting her (which I guess makes sense as it seems a

corner stone of BPD).

She gave me a chest of her things some years ago and mentioned it had my old art

works (kids art work - I am by no means an artist!) in it, to have a look at.

There are all these drawings in there of her with an enraged face and me crying

(often with " I love mum " desperately written by around the edges of the pictures

in an attempt to make it all right - I used to write that everywhere whenever I

was truly scared of her response, desperate to make her see that I did. I still

clearly remember the feeling I would get when I felt compelled to write it, to

make it ok. And truly - as any little kid does, regardless of how they're

treated - I did love her). On the back of most of them she scrawled the date and

her interpretation of the events that had lead to it (i.e. " Mim's 4 yo birthday

party today, another example of her trying to manipulate her way out of my

life " ). And so on. It's these drawings that I think of whenever I am doubtful

about the extent of nada's illness and need reminding that my childhood was not

normal.

Annie, I so agree with you about screening. I am no longer angry at nada, who

had an horrendous childhood and who, I feel, has very little ability to control

her behaviour. But she was so badly damaged she should never have been allowed

to be a parent. When I said to dad that I thought nada might be Borderline, he

just nodded his head and said he agreed. He fort for years to get custody of me,

but she was so effective at turning people against him and convincing them he

was evil, I was stuck with her - just me and her 11 days out of every fortnight.

Thank god those days are over!

Mim

> > >

> > > One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says

the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as

your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks for sharing that. I think that having those drawings you made in

childhood PLUS the truly disturbing comments written on the back by your mother

& the date, are very, very important. You write well; I wish that you or some

writer would put a book together using such material: children's perceptions of

and expressions of their life with a borderline pd mother.

I think you are right and this evidence throws a spotlight on the cognitive

distortion, delusional thinking and paranoia that are too often present in the

young mother with bpd.

To me, this really does weigh in on the concept that borderline pd actually is

" on the border " of psychosis: not being connected with reality, or, a very

negatively distorted perception of reality.

Cognitive distortion plus emotional lability, black-and-white thinking, easily

triggering into rage or having chronic irritability... chronic exposure to all

these negative, hostile, frightening traits and behaviors can deeply and

severely damage any child's emotional development.

No child should be put in the position of " managing " a mentally ill mother (or

father, but its the mother who is usually the primary caregiver for infants and

young children.) Its morally and ethically wrong, in my opinion. Its inhumane.

A child is pathetically unequipped to cope with a mentally-ill parent and its

severely unfair to the child to expose them to irrational, hostile, dangerous

behavior.

Save those drawings! Someday they may help turn the spotlight on the need to

screen parents for personality disorders for the safety and well being of their

children.

-Annie

> > > >

> > > > One of our members who is also a member in another group I'm also in,

mentioned that her mother says she " rejected " her as a baby - and my mother says

the same thing (and CONTINUES to say it) and I am 35. " You NEVER accepted me as

your mother! " she snarls, with much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Every time I

refuse to lie down and die like a dog. I know that is code for, " You never let

me completely control you! You never took my abuse with a smile and asked for

more! " but I'm wondering if that's a common accusation. (I am not saying who the

other person is bc if they want to share it with this group, it's theirs to

share, not mine on their behalf. )

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

When my sister and I were growing up Fada was a deadbeat dad who didn't pay

child support (yeah, my Nada can really pick'em). As a result, my sister and I

were farmed out to relatives, I to a great aunt and my sister to our

grandmother. And THANK GOD for that. Because otherwise I'm certain I would be

even more messed up than I currently am. When I was forced into my parents

company (during the school week; I spent weekends and vacations with my auntie),

I was always conscious of playing a part. I was nervous and tense, always trying

not to make a mistake and say the wrong thing. I tried very carefully not to let

my parents see that I loved my auntie rather than them. But as good an actress

as I was, they still realized the truth-and punished me viciously for it. They

apparently never said to themselves, " Hmm, my own child despises me. Could I be

doing something wrong? " NO, rather it was, " That awful spoiled brat. So

ungrateful and disloyal to her Mom and Dad. I'm going to punish her and make her

feel miserable. "

What is most staggering to me about truly bad parents is their complete

inability to empathize and their total selfishness. I have started calling my

Fada, " Al, " and I cringe when I have to call Nada " Mom " because I feel so

hypocritical, like I'm giving her an honor that she doesn't deserve.

[Guest guest]

Wow!! So amazing to see these things from others! I'm almost always brought to

tears to realize " I'm not alone!! "

My mother not only said this type of thing but also that " you never WANTED to be

held or comforted or cuddled. " WTF? What child - and especially what infant! -

doesn't want that?!? I have a 5-month old and I snuggle and kiss and hold him

ALL THE TIME!! (She has commented on this: " why do people kiss babies? " " you're

spoiling him " etc. Aargh!)

She also added that I was allergic to her breast milk so she couldn't nurse me.

She told me my baby was allergic to my milk. He isn't. In fact, it isn't

possible to be allergic to mother's milk -- only something IN the milk that the

mother has eaten/had to drink! She has repeatedly discouraged me from nursing

him so I've had less and less contact with her because it is just too damn

stressful.He is nursing and growing perfectly and it is the choice my hubby and

I made (to breastfeed) to give him the best start - both for the bonding aspects

and for the nutrition/immunity.

Oh! When I was growing up she also used to hurl comments like " I wish you were

never born " " if it weren't for you, I'd have a great career " and " if it weren't

for you, I'd have nice things! " I got so sick of hearing it by the time I was in

high school that I finally screamed at her that Roe v. Wade was legal at that

time so she could have terminated the pregnancy. What a b**ch! UGH!

[Guest guest]

My nada told me two different stories. For whatever reason she felt compelled

to explain to me that she did not breast feed me. At first she told me that she

didn't make enough good-quality breast milk and had to start feeding me with a

bottle because I was always hungry and not gaining weight. Then she also told

me that dad made her stop breast-feeding me because he thought it would spoil

her breast shape/make them saggy. Who knows if either of these are true? At

this point I will never know. I have come to discover that my nada's version

of reality is often at odds with my own perceptions and those of other people

who experienced a given incident with my nada. My own speculation is that nada

herself thought breast feeding would spoil her good looks, often expressed the

opinion that it was " old fashioned " , plus it was boring to her. She never has

had much patience; she's not and never was an easygoing, patient person. She is

the nervous, agitated type that finds it hard to sit still, so, I can't see her

relaxing and nursing a baby for, what, 20 minutes or so?

-Annie

>

> Wow!! So amazing to see these things from others! I'm almost always brought to

tears to realize " I'm not alone!! "

>

> My mother not only said this type of thing but also that " you never WANTED to

be held or comforted or cuddled. " WTF? What child - and especially what infant!

- doesn't want that?!? I have a 5-month old and I snuggle and kiss and hold him

ALL THE TIME!! (She has commented on this: " why do people kiss babies? " " you're

spoiling him " etc. Aargh!)

>

> She also added that I was allergic to her breast milk so she couldn't nurse

me. She told me my baby was allergic to my milk. He isn't. In fact, it isn't

possible to be allergic to mother's milk -- only something IN the milk that the

mother has eaten/had to drink! She has repeatedly discouraged me from nursing

him so I've had less and less contact with her because it is just too damn

stressful.He is nursing and growing perfectly and it is the choice my hubby and

I made (to breastfeed) to give him the best start - both for the bonding aspects

and for the nutrition/immunity.

>

> Oh! When I was growing up she also used to hurl comments like " I wish you were

never born " " if it weren't for you, I'd have a great career " and " if it weren't

for you, I'd have nice things! " I got so sick of hearing it by the time I was in

high school that I finally screamed at her that Roe v. Wade was legal at that

time so she could have terminated the pregnancy. What a b**ch! UGH!

>