Re: Question sent to my mom

[Guest guest]

Do you realize that you are being " triangulated " ? Your mother wants you to take

over her problem and deal with it.

But this problem is between your mother and your sister, its not your issue to

deal with. My suggestion is to give the issue back to your mother. If you

insert yourself, you will end up being blamed by one or both of them if it

doesn't work out well.

So, let them work it out themselves; that is my suggestion.

" Its your call, mom. This is about whether *you* want to have a relationship

with my sister or not. How you answer her is totally dependent on your feelings

and wishes in this regard. I can't tell you how you feel about this or what to

respond. "

Just my two cent's worth, to take or leave.

-Annie

>

> Yesterday, my BPD sis sends this to my mother, a recent widow and mom wants to

know how to answer her:

>

> What exactly have I done for you to decide to remove me from your life after

almost 47 years? I wouldn't ask if a relationship between mother and daughter

weren't important. I truly don't know the answer. I heard from you that I was

severely mentally ill and needed to go to a psychiatrist. After doing that, you

have had nothing to say to me, even though I did what you asked. After I did

what you asked, I thought our relationship would heal. I am not making the

choice to remove myself from your life. You made that decision which is why I

haven't contacted you. It certainly isn't because I don't care about you or love

you. My love for you is unconditional. However, I won't force myself on you. I

would like to move on. Can we resolve this and have the mother/daughter

relationship we once had?

>

> Help!

>

[Guest guest]

that is a great call, annie.

it would hurt so much if I sent something like this to a mother and knew it was

shared.

it's weird because the letter sounds pretty sane. that has me feeling a bit

creeped out about the scenario. there are not alot of histrionics in there...

> >

> > Yesterday, my BPD sis sends this to my mother, a recent widow and mom wants

to know how to answer her:

> >

> > What exactly have I done for you to decide to remove me from your life after

almost 47 years? I wouldn't ask if a relationship between mother and daughter

weren't important. I truly don't know the answer. I heard from you that I was

severely mentally ill and needed to go to a psychiatrist. After doing that, you

have had nothing to say to me, even though I did what you asked. After I did

what you asked, I thought our relationship would heal. I am not making the

choice to remove myself from your life. You made that decision which is why I

haven't contacted you. It certainly isn't because I don't care about you or love

you. My love for you is unconditional. However, I won't force myself on you. I

would like to move on. Can we resolve this and have the mother/daughter

relationship we once had?

> >

> > Help!

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I agree with Annie, I would be careful about getting involved, it might be time

to start detaching. I can't really answer, because I don't know the history

between the two and what transpired. All I can think is if the sister is bpd how

did she get that way. There is apparently a genetic component but a huge part of

bpd is environmental or nurture-based.

>

> Yesterday, my BPD sis sends this to my mother, a recent widow and mom wants to

know how to answer her:

>

> What exactly have I done for you to decide to remove me from your life after

almost 47 years? I wouldn't ask if a relationship between mother and daughter

weren't important. I truly don't know the answer. I heard from you that I was

severely mentally ill and needed to go to a psychiatrist. After doing that, you

have had nothing to say to me, even though I did what you asked. After I did

what you asked, I thought our relationship would heal. I am not making the

choice to remove myself from your life. You made that decision which is why I

haven't contacted you. It certainly isn't because I don't care about you or love

you. My love for you is unconditional. However, I won't force myself on you. I

would like to move on. Can we resolve this and have the mother/daughter

relationship we once had?

>

> Help!

>