Public 'Etiquette Lesson' from a BPD Mother in law

[Guest guest]

Hi post-ers,

Here's a light-hearted contribution to the discussion. A scathing email from a

mother-in-law-to-be has gone viral on the internet. When I read it, I sensed

'BPD' all over the place!! It looks to me like this woman has split her future

daughter in law black as night. Here's one link to the story, with the full

email concluded:

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Mother-In-Law-Email-Carolyn-Bournes-Ste\

rn-Etiquette-Message-To-Heidi-Withers-Goes-Viral/Article/201106416021513?lpos=UK\

_News_Second_UK_News_Article_Teaser_Region_2 & lid=ARTICLE_16021513_Mother-In-Law_\

Email%3A_Carolyn_Bournes_Stern_Etiquette_Message_To_Heidi_Withers_Goes_Viral

[Guest guest]

Wow! From my point of view, I think that both of these women have issues.

On the one hand, if I'm a guest in someone's home I try to be a gracious guest

and go along with the " house rules " and not be obnoxious so they will want to

invite me back. On the other hand, I think its both vicious and stupid to rake

one's future daughter in law over the coals like that, particularly by letter.

The hate expressed in the letter is palpable; this woman detests her son's

fiancee (and its probably mutual.)

On the other hand if I am a host, I try to accommodate my guest's needs and make

sure that he or she feels comfortable, welcome and " at home " away from home.

Now poor little Freddie will be forced to choose between getting what is

probably a whopping huge inheritance from mommie dearest... or getting lots of

sex from fiancee dearest. What a dilemma.

Oh, plus: future MIL contradicts herself. She says its " only OK " to announce

that there are foods you can't eat " if you're allergic " , but then she proceeds

to castigate her future DIL for letting it be known that she is diabetic and

therefor can't eat certain foods. You can't have it both ways, MIL. You've

been hoisted on your own self-contradictory petard, so to speak, on that point.

However, the finacee should have spoken with future MIL well ahead of time and

courteously mentioned that she is diabetic and would be bringing a lot of her

own foods for that reason so as not to inconvenience the household. That would

have been thoughtful, loving and kind. Then MIL could have courteously offered

to make sure that there were foods available in her home that DIL could eat; she

could have asked for a list, even, of safe foods to have on hand. That would

have been thoughtful, loving and kind.

I think it was just as rude of the fiancee to publicly humiliate future MIL by

sharing The Letter as it was for future MIL to have sent the ugly letter in the

first place. They're both awful people.

I'm guessing that even before this visit, both these women loathed each other.

It just came to a head with this visit.

I wonder what little Freddie will wind up doing? If I were him, I'd just get as

far away as possible from both of them. Who needs this much drama in their

life? I sure don't. Ugh.

-Annie

>

> Hi post-ers,

>

> Here's a light-hearted contribution to the discussion. A scathing email from

a mother-in-law-to-be has gone viral on the internet. When I read it, I sensed

'BPD' all over the place!! It looks to me like this woman has split her future

daughter in law black as night. Here's one link to the story, with the full

email concluded:

>

>

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Mother-In-Law-Email-Carolyn-Bournes-Ste\

rn-Etiquette-Message-To-Heidi-Withers-Goes-Viral/Article/201106416021513?lpos=UK\

_News_Second_UK_News_Article_Teaser_Region_2 & lid=ARTICLE_16021513_Mother-In-Law_\

Email%3A_Carolyn_Bournes_Stern_Etiquette_Message_To_Heidi_Withers_Goes_Viral

>

[Guest guest]

For me, this is a case of not knowing enough of either woman to say anything.

Some of the MIL's concerns appear to be valid, but to throw it in her face, a

woman of real manners and integrity would have spoken to the future DIL in

person about it, and with some sensitivity.

On the other hand, sounds like the future DIL was not trying very hard to earn

the approval of her fiance's family.

Bad behavior on both ends.

> >

> > Hi post-ers,

> >

> > Here's a light-hearted contribution to the discussion. A scathing email

from a mother-in-law-to-be has gone viral on the internet. When I read it, I

sensed 'BPD' all over the place!! It looks to me like this woman has split her

future daughter in law black as night. Here's one link to the story, with the

full email concluded:

> >

> >

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Mother-In-Law-Email-Carolyn-Bournes-Ste\

rn-Etiquette-Message-To-Heidi-Withers-Goes-Viral/Article/201106416021513?lpos=UK\

_News_Second_UK_News_Article_Teaser_Region_2 & lid=ARTICLE_16021513_Mother-In-Law_\

Email%3A_Carolyn_Bournes_Stern_Etiquette_Message_To_Heidi_Withers_Goes_Viral

> >

>