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Guys,

Any of you guys had the experience of having to deal with someone who has had it

super easy and seems to not realize how lucky they have thing and sometimes just

sets you off as wanting to say dammit you are so & (* & ( & (* lucky so shut your

trap and be grateful.=A0 I have a MIL who has had life so much easier than I had

it growing up that she complains about stupid little things instead of

appreciating what she has. I think a lot of what is triggering this is my son is

about 3, within the year of the time my nada cut ties with dad's famiily all

together, not just telling one member to

get lost, but the entire clan and those who did attempt contact got swatted back

and told lies that by the time I found out about a great bulk of them it was too

late to really recover from them. Obviously I haven't chased her son and her

grandson away from her nor do I want to but does she appeciate this no she

bitches, about not getting her own way, if I have to work over a holiday and can

do it in such a way that's jsut an annoyance not a real intrusion, really I have

to do my share of the work, sorry. She even complains about all her other inlaw

kids so it's not just me she bitches about and the shit is so stinking petty.

She also got lucky that I went NC with my nada because I can guarantee you that

my nada would have sucked in DH if she had gotten the chance and chased her off

and I would have had

more of a mess to sort through and say nope nada is lying again ignore her.  

Half of the stuff she does that I tolerate my nada would not have tolerated at

all, does she appreciate this I don't think so. Some of the stuff I've told DH

that she needs to know she's lucky she's got me to deal with because nada would

have blown a fuse and chased them off, called them irresponsible and not allowed

our son with them again.(THe example I gave him was they returned him home late

by a few hours called but still an inconvience. I just said why don't we just

order some pizza writing it off, nada would have gone off the deep end and blown

a major fuse causing world war III) Sometimes I wish my aunt hadn't gotten rid

of those nasty letters my nada wrote my grandparents and aunt because that would

have really put things in prespective for her to realize that damn I have it

good, neither DIL is this nutty. I think part of the problem is MIL is going

through

menopause too and somehow is having some anxiety problems that she and I have

gotten to the point where we can't really talk about much about some things

because of our differences in dealing with things. Her going for the more

anxiety reactions like bones on star trek and my having to take the spock

approach to keep from my anxiety goign overboard and causing me a major medical

headache. I dont' think she wants me to be sick Oh yes and did I mention that

if I'm sick I'm

supposed to beable to do everything but if she's sick the world is supposed to

stop for her. Oh yeah, she also likes to run her mouth like she knows it but

knows nothing too. I think if she'd met nada once she would have gotten the

hint of how lucky she is. THere again I dont' htink things would have worked out

the way they did. For us NC was the only way because otherwise I would have

drowned too.

Suggestions for explaining that gee for one you're rather lucky so stop

complaining and appreciate what you have.

I'm borderline considering if she causes too many more major issues, other than

some mild irritating habits of suggesting we go to therapy together so she

understands my anxiety disorder better, the main part I think of our problem is

she does not udnerstand that if I react in a non anxious manner it's not that

I'm not worried it's that I have to handle it proactively, do something about

the worry instead of sitting there worrying my head off.

More later

Marie