IN Law Issues and old nada issues resurfacing

[Guest guest]

Guys,

Any of you guys had the experience of having to deal with someone who has had it

super easy and seems to not realize how lucky they have thing and sometimes just

sets you off as wanting to say dammit you are so & (* & ( & (* lucky so shut your

trap and be grateful.=A0 I have a MIL who has had life so much easier than I had

it growing up that she complains about stupid little things instead of

appreciating what she has. I think a lot of what is triggering this is my son is

about 3, within the year of the time my nada cut ties with dad's famiily all

together, not just telling one member to

get lost, but the entire clan and those who did attempt contact got swatted back

and told lies that by the time I found out about a great bulk of them it was too

late to really recover from them. Obviously I

haven't chased her son and her grandson away from her nor do I want to but does

she appeciate this no she bitches, about not getting her own way, if I have to

work over a holiday and can do it in such a way that's jsut an annoyance not a

real intrusion, really I have to do my share of the work, sorry. She even

complains about all her other inlaw kids so it's not just me she bitches about

and the shit is so stinking petty. She also got lucky that I went NC with my

nada because I can guarantee you that my nada would have sucked in DH if she had

gotten the chance and chased her off and I would have had

more of a mess to sort through and say nope nada is lying again ignore her.  

Half of the stuff she does that I tolerate my nada would not have tolerated at

all, does she appreciate this I don't think so. Some of the stuff I've told DH

that she needs to know she's lucky she's got me to deal with because nada would

have blown a fuse and chased them

off, called them irresponsible and not allowed our son with them again.(THe

example I gave him was they returned him home late by a few hours called but

still an inconvience. I just said why don't we just order some pizza writing it

off, nada would have gone off the deep end and blown a major fuse causing world

war III) Sometimes I wish my aunt hadn't gotten rid of those nasty letters my

nada wrote my grandparents and aunt because that would have really put things in

prespective for her to realize that damn I have it good, neither DIL is this

nutty. I think part of the problem is MIL is going through menopause too and

somehow is having some anxiety problems that she and I have gotten to the point

where we can't really talk about much about some things because of our

differences in dealing with things. Her going for the more anxiety reactions

like bones on star trek and my having to take the spock approach to keep from my

anxiety goign

overboard and causing me a major medical headache. I dont' think she wants me

to be sick Oh yes and did I mention that if I'm sick I'm

supposed to beable to do everything but if she's sick the world is supposed to

stop for her. Oh yeah, she also likes to run her mouth like she knows it but

knows nothing too. I think if she'd met nada once she would have gotten the

hint of how lucky she is. THere again I dont' htink things would have worked out

the way they did. For us NC was the only way because otherwise I would have

drowned too.

Suggestions for explaining that gee for one you're rather lucky so stop

complaining and appreciate what you have.

I'm borderline considering if she causes too many more major issues, other than

some mild irritating habits of suggesting we go to therapy together so she

understands my anxiety disorder better, the main part I think of our problem is

she does not udnerstand that if I react in a non anxious manner it's not that

I'm not worried it's that I have to handle it proactively, do something about

the worry instead of sitting there worrying my head off.

More later

Marie